Rosie slept for a while propped up on Easton’s shoulder. The other ranch hands showed him an odd amount of respect with a baby in his arms, and when a couple of guys were getting too noisy, one look from him silenced them.
Clouds had been gathering again after a clear afternoon, and the wind had cooled noticeably. People were gathered around various tables of food, some sitting in lawn chairs and others lounging on blankets. A few ranch hands were sitting on upended firewood as they ate their burgers. The day might stay fair yet, though a smudge of cloud could be seen a few miles west.
“Looks like rain,” Tony said, biting into a burger and talking past his food.
“Yeah, maybe,” Easton agreed, although for the sake of the corn roast, he hoped not. Rosie pulled her knees up and wriggled. A smell mingled with the scent of barbecued meat. Was that what he thought it was?
Tony looked at the baby in Easton’s arms and made a face. “Baby’s leaking,” he announced.
Easton pulled Rosie away from his chest and gave her a once-over. The ranch hand was right. A smear had formed by the edge of her diaper, corresponding with that suspicious smell.
“Wow, Rosie,” Easton said, and Rosie opened her eyes enough to blink at him before shutting them again. “I’d better bring her back to Nora.”
“Good call,” Tony agreed.
Easton headed back through the yard where Nora had been earlier, but she was nowhere to be seen now. Neither were the other two babies.
“Nora’s inside,” Kaitlyn called. She was sipping from a can of pop. He smiled his thanks and headed in the direction of the side door.
He stepped inside and the screen door banged shut behind him. The house was silent, everyone outside with the food, and he paused in the entryway to the kitchen, unsure of what to do.
“Nora?” he called.
Nora looked around the doorway to the living room, and he stopped short when he saw her face. Her eyes were red, and she wiped at her cheek with one hand. She’d been crying.
“You okay?” he asked.
His boots thunked across the kitchen floor, and he emerged into the living room. She wiped at her face again as if trying to hide the evidence.
“Fine,” she said quickly. “Just working on diapers.”
She wasn’t fine—he wasn’t blind. Nora had the babies laid out on towels on the floor. She added a third towel when she saw Rosie, and he laid the baby next to her sisters.
“Hey,” he said softly. “Nora—”
“I’m fine!” Her voice rose, and he could tell she was fighting back tears. Something had happened—had someone said something? Was there more flack about her dad? Protectiveness simmered deep inside him—he’d deal personally with whoever had caused this. But she didn’t say anything else.
Nora unsnapped Riley’s onesie and peeled back the tabs on the diaper. He could stand there, or he could help. Easton knelt next to her and started with Rosie’s diaper. If nothing else, he could do this. He’d seen Nora do enough diapers that he knew the drill—theoretically, at least.
“Wipes,” he said, and she passed them over.
They worked silently for a couple of minutes, and Nora passed him a new sleeper for Rosie.
“I need help with this one,” he said. He had Rosie diapered, but the sleeper was going to be tricky. Nora smiled feebly, and gave him a hand with tiny arms and legs that just kept curling back as if she were inside an egg. When the babies were all changed and dressed, Easton and Nora sat on the floor and leaned against the couch. The babies were snuggled up together in front of them. They looked so peaceful—Riley’s little fist resting on Bobbie’s face, and Rosie making sucking noises as she dozed. These girls had the life right now—anything could be fixed with a diaper change and a nap.
“So what’s going on?” Easton asked.
Nora looked toward him for a moment then sighed. “I visited a family that wants to adopt the babies.”
The information took a moment to sink in, and when it did, Easton’s stomach sank. “You did? When?”
She shrugged weakly. “This morning. They live in Billings—the father is a child psychologist...” She licked her lips. “They can give the girls so much. Financial security, love, good schools, a stay-at-home mom—” Tears misted her eyes again. “More than I can.” The last words came out in a whisper.
The thought of these babies going to another family felt wrong—like a betrayal, although he had no right to feel that way. He knew it—this wasn’t about him.
“And you’re really considering this?” he asked.
“I can’t do it alone, Easton. Mom is so hurt by Dad’s affair that she can’t face doing this with me, and I don’t even blame her. You know people are talking about it. It’s one thing to deal with what he did, and quite another to face the questions and pitying looks that she’d get constantly with the girls living with her...”
Easton understood, but was that really the end of it? Was there no other way for Nora to keep the girls with her? He knew firsthand how much she loved these babies, and he knew exactly what it would do to her to give them to another family. If he left Hope, at least he’d hold on to the mental image of Nora and these triplets together. Separating them...
“The homestead,” he said. “If your father hadn’t left it to me, you’d have been able to stay there.”
Was he the one standing between her and keeping these girls?
“What if you bought me out?” Easton asked. “Dale suggested that. You could have that house again. It belongs with family anyway. I know your dad was trying to do something nice for me, but if he knew what it would do to you and his granddaughters, he wouldn’t have willed it to me. I know that for a fact.”
“I can’t buy you out.” Her voice was tight and she swallowed hard. “If I stay here, I won’t be working right away. I can’t get into a mortgage.”
“Then stay with me.” The words surprised him, but this was a solution. He didn’t have to leave Hope, did he? They were already staying together quite successfully. He could continue helping out with the girls, and she wouldn’t have to worry about rent or anything like that. He could rethink that escape he’d been planning—if she needed him.
“How would that work?” she asked, shaking her head.
“Like it has been.” He turned to face her and slipped his arm behind her. “We’ve been working it so far. I could get used to this. Couldn’t you?”
“No.” There was a tremor in her voice.
Did she mean that? Was she already finished taking what she needed from him?
“Why not?” he asked, irritated. They’d better just get this out into the open. If she was done with his help, he needed to hear it, because that was the only way he was going to accept this—if she told him straight.
“Because it doesn’t solve us!” Nora’s voice shook and she blinked back tears. “What are we going to do, keep cuddling on the couch, kissing on the porch and live together like a couple? That’s not a solution, Easton. That’s a shortcut to heartbreak, and I’m not doing it. You’re a lot like my dad, you know.” She swallowed hard. “He said it over and over again—that you’re just like he was when he was young. You know what that means to me. It’s so hard to trust—”
Yeah, he understood all of that, but in spite of it all, they’d been taking care of those girls together. He wished she could trust him, see deep inside him and recognize the man in there—but apparently some things would never change between them.
Easton leaned closer as her words trailed off, and she met his gaze, her breath catching as he took her lips with his. Her eyes drifted closed and she leaned into his kiss. She was warm and soft, and he moved closer, tugging her into his arms. Why couldn’t this work? He’d had reasons of his own up until this moment, but he couldn’t seem to think straight when he was with her, and certainly not with his lips moving over hers.
She pulled back and shook her head, her fingers fluttering up to her lips. “We’ve got to stop that,” she breathed.
“Do we?” he asked, catching her gaze and holding it. “Really?”
Because he sure didn’t want to. She looked ready to reconsider, and given a chance he’d move in for another kiss, but she moved back.
“Easton, stop it.”
That was clear enough. He pulled his hand back.
“I’m not starting something I can’t finish.” She whispered. “Love you or not—”
And maybe he should appreciate that she wouldn’t start up with him if she could foresee herself walking away...but she’d mentioned love and his heart skipped a hopeful beat.
“Do you love me?” His voice dropped and he swallowed.
Tears rose in her eyes. “Against my better judgment.”
He felt the smile tug at his lips. How long had he waited to hear that confession? How many years had he dreamed of her finally seeing the man he was at heart?
“Because I’ve loved you for years.” He remembered all those years of loving her from afar, being there for her in her tough times and watching her walk away when she pulled it all together again. He could push those memories aside and ignore it in a heated moment when he was so focused on getting closer to her...but what about after the conquest? What about after he had her, and they settled into a routine? She’d never wanted what he could offer before—not for the long-term. His own mother hadn’t wanted him, either. He knew better than to start expecting things.
She was vulnerable. He was pushing this, and pressure wouldn’t change the end result.
“But I know what you mean,” he said gruffly. “I want to short-cut this so badly, but you’re right. We should stop.”
Tears glistened in her eyes, and he leaned forward and pressed his lips against her forehead. How he longed to kiss those lips again, to forget all the logic and clear thinking, and just melt into her arms. But she was right. Trust was the problem here—she was afraid he’d turn out just like her dad, and he was afraid that she’d walk away when things got tough. There was no point in starting something that would end in him staring at an empty spot in the closet...again. There were only so many times a man could have his heart torn apart in one lifetime, and he was pretty sure he’d already reached his limit.
“So I’m right.” Nora swallowed hard. This would be a first—a man admitting that he would likely be unfaithful. But what was she wanting him to do—try to change her mind? She wasn’t that easily swayed.
“Not about me cheating,” he said, “but I understand why you’re scared. I doubt I could convince you that I’m any different. That’s an argument I can’t win.”
Nora’s chest felt tight. “It shouldn’t be an argument, should it?”
“Probably not.” He rubbed a hand over his face, and the gesture brought back memories of the teenage Easton in a flood. He was no kid anymore, and he’d proven that over the last two weeks. This was a man in front of her—a man just like her father.
“Thing is, Nora, I can’t offer you the world. I don’t have it to give. You’re used to a better life than I am, and I’m pretty sure I can’t match what you’re used to. You’re afraid of me turning out like your dad, and you couldn’t face that kind of heartbreak. Well, I can’t face being walked out on by another woman I love.”
Another woman like his mom? For years Nora had watched that sadness swirl inside Easton, and only recently did she discover what had caused it. Now, she blamed his mother, resented her, even. Easton deserved better...and he thought she’d be no different? That hurt.
“Do you really worry about that?”
“Life gets hard,” he said quietly. “Really hard. I don’t think my mom imagined herself leaving, either, until she did it.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “And maybe I’m a little bit like her, too. She got out of this town—started fresh where no one knew her past. I get why she’d want that so badly. I’ve been thinking seriously about doing the same thing.”
Easton’s words hit her like a blow to the stomach. He would leave? Somehow that hadn’t occurred to her as even a possibility, even though she knew other ranchers had been trying to woo him. Easton had been a constant around here. The ranch ran like clockwork because of his professional skills. But he was more than an employee at the ranch—her dad had made sure of that. It was impossible to imagine this place without him. It would be empty here—lonely.
“But you live here.” It sounded so trite, but she couldn’t articulate the depth of her feelings about this. This was his home—over the years he’d become an integral part of her home, and she’d taken his presence here entirely for granted. Could he really just walk away?
She rose to her feet, walked toward the window then turned back. He stood up, too, and they stared at each other for a few beats. Easton nodded a few times as if coming to a conclusion.
“I wanted to sell you the house—it would give me money for a new start—but I’m used to roughing it. I’ll sign the house back over to you. I’ll give your mom my written notice tomorrow.”
Anger writhed against the wall of sadness, and she strode back over and punched him solidly in the chest. “You’re seriously just going to leave?” she demanded. “Just like that?”
“I can’t do this!” His voice raised and he stopped, shutting his eyes for a moment. Then he moderated his tone. “Nora, I’m not doing this anymore. I’m not sitting here, loving you, and not having anything more. We both know why it can’t work, and you’re right—playing house isn’t going to take the place of a real, honest commitment. I don’t want to just see what happens—I want a family that I can claim as mine. Call that old-fashioned if you want, but it’s what I want. And I know myself—I’m not going to get over you that easily. You don’t love a girl for over a decade and just bounce back.” He swallowed hard. “I never have.”
He was right—just like when they were teens, she wanted too much. She wanted him to be there, her support, her confidant. If the last couple of weeks had taught her anything, it was that skirting that line between friendship and more was harder than she’d imagined. He wasn’t the only one who sailed past “just friends” in a vulnerable moment. It wasn’t fair to expect him to keep trying to toe the line, and she knew that, but the thought of losing him completely...well, that tore at her heart. Their balance wasn’t a long-term solution.
He deserved a full life. He deserved a family of his own. Who was she to stand between him and his happiness?
“I’m going to miss you.” Her chin trembled, and she struggled to maintain control.
“Me, too. But at least I’ll have made it possible for you to keep the girls. I think it’s what your dad would have wanted.”
Outside, lightning flashed and there was a boom overhead. Rain spattered against the living room window. Easton put his hat on just as the kitchen door opened and people came pouring inside. He held her gaze for a moment, those dark eyes swimming with regret. Then he turned and walked away as the first wave of aunts and cousins flooded, laughing, into the living room.
He’d sign the house back over to her. All would be balanced again, and she’d have a home to raise the girls. She’d have the homestead in her name—her family’s history back where it belonged. It wouldn’t solve everything, but it was a good start. Yet despite all she would gain, she was losing the man she’d loved against all her better judgment. Pain was the cost of having loved, but the price of saying goodbye to Easton was almost more than her heart could bear.