He couldn’t kiss her. No matter how much the need to do exactly that thrummed within him. He knew he should look away, remove his hands from where they held the lapels of the jacket he’d just draped around her shoulders. But he felt frozen in the moment, unwilling to let it thaw quite yet.
“You didn’t have to do that,” she said, her voice not sounding quite normal.
“I’m fine.” When he wondered how she might react if he lowered his lips to hers, it somehow gave him the push he needed to step away. “It’ll be warmer inside the barn.”
He watched as she glanced toward the house before giving him a quick nod. When he looked away from her toward the barn door, his breath came rushing back into his lungs. It took some effort to remind himself that he shouldn’t jeopardize a possible lucrative business relationship by kissing a woman who most likely didn’t want to be kissed. If he’d been betrayed like she had been, he doubted he’d want anything to do with a woman for a good long time.
He flicked on the lights as soon as he stepped inside then closed the door behind Lauren to keep out the wind. She started to shrug out of his jacket, so he lightly touched her arm.
“You keep it. I’m really okay.”
“I didn’t think to bring one. I suppose I should pay more attention to the forecast.” No doubt she hadn’t had room in her brain for thoughts of the weather because too much had been occupied with nervous anticipation about seeing Adam again.
“Yeah, the weather can be moody this time of year.”
Needing some distance between them, she walked over to a dappled gray horse and let him sniff her fingers. She desperately needed something to keep her mind off the words Adam had spoken before he’d wrapped her in his jacket.
That’s not all it was.
What had he meant by that? Was she reading too much into a statement that only meant he’d been trying to be nice? Neighborly? She had to find a way to not think everyone had ulterior motives or life was going to be miserable.
Forcing down any hint of the attraction she felt toward him, she turned to face Adam. “So tell me about the plans Angel mentioned.”
He leaned against the stall across from her. “Why do you want to know?”
She shrugged. “Curious. You know how they call people who love politics policy wonks? Well, I’m a bit of a business wonk. I’ve always been interested in how people find creative ways to make money, especially doing stuff they love. Some kids had lemonade stands. I made little decorated cupcakes when I was a kid and sold them on the playground, on the school bus.”
He smiled. “I can just imagine.”
“Were you always the same?”
He shook his head and averted his eyes, looking down the length of the barn. “I was a pretty normal kid, both before and after my parents died. But when your livelihood depends on so many factors out of your control, there can be lean years. I saw that not long after Mom and Dad adopted me. One stroke of bad luck you can weather, even if it’s hard, but two years in a row brings you to the breaking point. It affected all of us kids, and now we’re all determined to make sure we’re never that close to losing the ranch again.”
His story struck a familiar chord in Lauren’s heart, in her memory, and she was thankful he wasn’t looking at her or he might see the tears that she quickly blinked away.
“Thing is I don’t have a talent like Angel does with photography or Ben does with leather-working. Neil is so much like Dad and following in his footsteps that you’d never know they weren’t related by blood. Even Sloane has found a way to increase the ranch’s name recognition through philanthropy.”
“So the beef operation and the idea for the branded merchandise is your contribution.”
He returned his gaze to her. “That’s the idea.” He pointed toward his temple. “What goes through my head over and over is that it could ensure the ranch not only survives as a family-owned operation, but thrives. There’s a new generation now, and I want the ranch to be safe for them as they grow up.”
Did he envision that new generation including children of his own? He certainly didn’t sound like a guy who would abandon his own children.
But that was totally different to being willing to be a father to children who weren’t his. She mentally smacked herself. Could she really imagine him thinking that way when he and his siblings were raised by parents that they’d not been born to?
And why was she even thinking those kinds of thoughts anyway?
“It sounds like a good idea to me,” she said.
“Thanks. I just have to be more patient. I get these ideas and wish I could make them a reality overnight.”
She laughed a little. “Not how it works.” She wandered over to a stack of hay bales and sat down. “People sometimes look at me and think I’m an overnight success, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s taken years, countless hours of worry and hard work and sleep deprivation to get to this point. And if I’m being honest, I still think I’ll make a mistake and lose it all.”
Adam crossed to where she was sitting—slowly, as if giving her time to move if she felt crowded—and sat beside her.
“Is that what you’re thinking about the restaurant now? If you don’t mind me saying, you seem a bit tense and distracted.”
Oh, if he only knew what the main reason for that was at this moment.
“Yeah. It’s a big investment, and having it so far from where I live... I guess I’ll question the decision until the place is a success.”
“It will be.”
She glanced over at him, wishing that for a few minutes she was free of any and all concerns about giving in to her attraction. “What makes you so certain?”
“Your determination and the fact you’ve been a success at every other aspect of your business. That can’t just be by chance.” He smiled and her heart thumped a bit harder. “I bet even your elementary-school cupcake business was a success.”
There was something about Adam that made her want to be open and honest with him, and that scared her. And yet she found herself speaking a truth she didn’t share with many people.
“It helped.” At his curious expression, she continued. “You said your family went through tough times. Mine did, too, after my dad died. Mom had just been a volunteer aide at my school, but after Dad’s accident she went to work full-time at a convenience store. At the same time, she got her teaching degree. My sister and I spent a lot of time at Papa Ed and Nana Gloria’s. Nana was the one who taught me how to bake.”
“She’s gone now?” The tone of Adam’s voice was kind, understanding, and she realized there must have been something in the way she said Nana Gloria’s name that had revealed the truth.
Lauren nodded. “She passed about a year ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s honestly why I agreed to visit Blue Falls in the first place. I wanted to do something fun with Papa Ed, and he suggested a trip back to his boyhood home. I had no idea he had something up his sleeve until we were at an empty restaurant building and a real estate agent showed up. I’ll admit I was a little worried he was losing it when he suggested I buy the building here.”
“But you obviously came around to the idea.”
“Nobody was more surprised than I was when I walked inside and it was perfect.” She noticed how Adam looked down at the ground between his boots. “I’m sorry it was the place you had your eye on.”
“No need to apologize. I mean, it’s been sitting there empty for a while.”
“Still.”
“My mom always says that things turn out how they’re supposed to.”
“I really like your mom,” Lauren said.
“Your family is nice, too. And they obviously think your girls hung the moon.”
“You have no idea. If I’m not careful between them and, admittedly, myself, the twins are going to be spoiled rotten to the core.” She realized she was probably overcompensating for the fact they were going to grow up without a father in their lives.
“I think it’s natural to want to give kids a better life than we had at their age.”
She didn’t just glance at Adam this time. She openly stared.
“What?” he asked when he noticed.
“You’re very perceptive.”
“My sisters would disagree with you.”
“No, really.” She paused, unable to look away from him. It might be dangerous, might be foolish, but she trusted him. “The reason I made those cupcakes and sold them when I was a kid was because I wanted to help my mom pay the bills. I was young but I still saw the worry on her face. I don’t want my girls to ever have to experience that. I don’t want any of my family to ever have to be concerned about money ever again.”
“Sounds as if we’re in the same boat.”
She had an image of floating along the lake’s surface with him in a little boat, much like Rapunzel and Flynn in Tangled. She had the same butterfly-wings feeling in her chest now as she’d imagined those two characters felt during that scene.
Logically she knew it was only mere moments, but the time that passed as they stared at each other seemed much longer. When Adam’s gaze dropped momentarily to her lips, part of Lauren urged her to lean in and give him permission. But a memory of the last time she’d kissed a man shoved its way to the front of her brain, causing her to look away so quickly it bordered on rude.
“I should be going. Won’t be long before I need to get the girls to bed. Hopefully they’ll sleep better tonight.” She stood and took a few steps away from him.
“If you want a place with more privacy, where you don’t have to worry about the girls’ crying waking other guests, you should check out the cabins at the Vista Hills Guest Ranch.”
“Maybe I will. Thanks.”
When he stood, she started to slip out of his jacket again.
“Wait until we get back to the house.”
“I won’t freeze between here and there.”
He smiled. “Neither will I.”
As they left the barn, she had to admit she was thankful for the extra layer of protection his jacket provided. The only sounds she heard as they crossed the darker area between the barn and house were the crunch of the gravel under their feet and the call of some night bird she couldn’t identify. When they neared the porch, Adam slowed, causing her to do the same, and then she stopped when he did.
He appeared on the verge of asking her something, and her breath caught in her throat—half in anticipation, half in fear. But she saw him change what he’d been about to say as surely as if she’d seen him change hats.
“I hope you all had a nice time tonight.”
“Uh, we did. Thank you for inviting us.”
“The offer stands to come out and tour the operation when you can actually see something.”
She realized it was the first time since her arrival at the ranch that he’d directly addressed their potential working relationship.
“When I get a chance.”
He nodded. Again, she thought he had something else to say, but instead he simply escorted her up the front steps.
She was so occupied with wondering what he’d been going to say that she forgot to remove his jacket until she’d already stepped through the front door. Though she was likely imagining things, it felt as if every set of eyes in the room noticed and immediately started assigning deeper meaning to Adam’s kind gesture.
Sure, she wasn’t entirely sure there wasn’t some unspoken meaning, but no one else needed to know that. So she deliberately made eye contact with Adam as she slipped out of the jacket and handed it back to him.
“Thanks.” Then before he could respond, she turned toward her mom. “It’s gotten quite chilly out there. We need to make sure to wrap up the girls really well.”
With so many people present, it was impossible to make a quick exit. But the flurry of goodbyes did give her time to calm herself a bit before she found herself on the porch with Adam for the final farewell of the night.
“Thanks again for dinner. It was nice to meet everyone and have such a good meal.”
“Well, you made my mom’s night. Possibly her year.”
She imagined him leaning down to kiss her good-night, found herself wanting that even if it was a peck on the cheek. Which was her cue to leave.
As she drove back toward Blue Falls a few minutes later, she couldn’t stop thinking about that moment in the yard when she’d swear he’d been about to say something entirely different to her. She had a feeling that question was much more likely to keep her awake tonight than cranky babies.
Adam was thankful for the late-night storm that had blown through. It gave him an excuse to go ride around the ranch the next day to check on the fencing and the cattle. He needed the time away from his mom’s curious gaze. She hadn’t questioned him or even made any comments alluding to the time he’d spent outside with Lauren the night before, or the fact Lauren had come back to the house wearing his jacket, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t see the curiosity, and probably hope, in his mom’s eyes.
Despite his determination not to jeopardize the possible contract with her restaurant, he’d almost asked her out. With one question, he could have torpedoed the deal. Maybe even his business if word got out he’d been denied by the famous Brazos Baker in favor of another supplier.
But what if he could land another large account? Would that give him the freedom to ask her out to dinner?
He shook his head as he rode over a rise in the land that gave one of the prettiest panoramic views on the ranch. He reined his horse to a stop and soaked in the sight before him. This was what he was working to protect, ensuring that it stayed in the Hartley family no matter what Mother Nature or the temperamental economy threw at them.
Adam inhaled deeply of the fresh, rain-scented air, always good for clearing his mind. Though Lauren had shared personal details with him the night before, that didn’t mean she was interested in him the way he was in her. He reminded himself she had good reason.
And yet there’d been that moment when she’d looked up at him as he’d wrapped his jacket around her shoulders. Had he read it so wrong? Because he would have sworn he saw interest on her part, as well.
Maybe she’d just been startled by his action. But she’d been willing to sit beside him inside the barn and talk about the tough years they’d both experienced as kids. That, however, was something friends would do, not necessarily more than friends.
He rubbed his hand over his face and rode on. But try as he might to think about other things, his thoughts kept coming back to Lauren. What was it about her that drew him so much? Yes, she was beautiful, but she wasn’t the only beautiful woman in the world. Not even the only one in Blue Falls. There was more to it, something that pulled at him on a deeper level, though for the life of him he couldn’t identify what.
When he saw her again, he had to remember, however, that it wasn’t just the potential business deal that should keep him from voicing his feelings. She’d been through a lot, and maybe memories of the past were what caused the nervousness he sometimes sensed she felt around him. Maybe the best thing now was to keep his distance, only occasionally check in with a professional call.
His phone dinged with a text, pulling him from his mental meandering. He slipped the phone from his jacket pocket and a jolt of excitement went through him at the sight of Lauren’s name on the display. So much for shoving her from his mind.
He tapped the screen to read the message.
Got any recommendations for a roofer?
Okay, so that wasn’t exactly the kind of message he imagined getting from her, but at least it wasn’t radio silence. He hadn’t scared her off completely.
He texted back a couple of suggestions, then like some sort of lovesick teenager, he stared at his phone until she texted back a simple Thanks. He blew out a breath and headed on toward the southern property boundary.
It was a good thing mind reading wasn’t actually a thing because he still hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Lauren when he returned to the house late in the afternoon. His brain refused to stop running possible scenarios in which he could preserve the chance to do business with her while also exploring his attraction.
As he left the barn and headed toward the house, he met Arden, Neil’s wife, leaving. He remembered then that she’d had a prenatal checkup that morning.
“Hey, how are things going with the little peanut?”
She smiled and placed her hand against her still-flat stomach. “Good. Though I thought your brother was going to pass out he was so nervous. I can’t imagine what he’ll be like when I actually go in to have the baby.”
Adam laughed. “You are the best sister-in-law ever for telling me that. Just don’t tell Mandy I said so.”
They started to go their separate ways again.
“Adam?”
He turned back toward Arden. “Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Is it my imagination or are you interested in Lauren?”
Ah, hell. “She’s nice, and I’m hoping we can land her restaurant as a customer.”
Arden crossed her arms and gave him an incredulous look he imagined she’d used to great effect with tough interviewees during her years as an international reporter.
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
He sighed. There was no use lying to someone who’d literally gone to war-torn areas of the globe and gotten the truth out of people who didn’t like telling the truth.
“Yes, but I can’t do anything about it.”
“Why not?”
He retraced his steps and leaned against the side of Arden’s car. “Do you know anything about what she’s been through?”
“A bit.”
He filled in the gaps, and when he was finished, his brother’s wife leaned back against the car beside him.
“So you’re afraid that she’s gun-shy.”
He nodded.
She was quiet for a few seconds before speaking again. “It’s kind of you to put her feelings first, but she hasn’t actually told you she’s not interested, has she?”
“No, but I haven’t asked, either.”
“Then maybe you should.”
“I don’t want to jeopardize the potential business deal. We need a big win.”
“I understand. But I don’t want you to miss something that could be way more important.”
“How can I tell if she’s interested or if I should keep my distance because of what she’s been through?”
“Don’t come on too strong. One little step at a time. And honestly, she might not be receptive at first. The hurt might be too fresh in her memory. But take it from me, sometimes people don’t know what they need until someone shows them.”
He knew she was talking about how Neil had initially offered her friendship after she’d come home from being a captive of human traffickers in Africa, and how that friendship had slowly built into something more that neither of them had expected. And now Adam couldn’t imagine two people more in love.
He didn’t know if anything even remotely similar was in store for him and Lauren. Him and anyone, for that matter. But Arden was right. He wasn’t going to find out if he avoided Lauren, if he let his fear of failure keep him from figuring out if their new friendship might eventually grow into something more.