Black Guys I Want to Be
Big guy who works the grill at a cookout and wears an apron that says “Kiss the Cook.” He isn’t a jerk about grilling, just talks a little smack, cooks meat with fire, and keeps kids from coming too close to the hot grill.
Halves guy who has one side of his hair braided, the other blown out, and one sweatpant leg up showing white tube sock. He wiggles the leg with the pants down while he’s sitting on the bus, so it looks like he’s trying to get that pant leg to inch up and join the other.
Serious writer guy who looks uncomfortable in the suit he’s wearing for his author photo, and needs to ash his cigarette.
High school guy with a ball of toilet paper in his runny nose like what.
Motorcycle guy in a denim vest with a cool biker gang name on it like Jackson Ward Black Dragons, who is the reason his mother keeps plastic on the couch.
Jazz drummer guy who stays expressionless behind the kit, transferring all of his sweat to the white folks in the audience.
Leather vest no shirt beaded headband guy.
Wife made him go to church so he made her go to Ribbit’s for fish and mimosas guy.
I wish I was awesomer. I wish I was blacker. I wish I could just settle into something and be it.