‘That’s right, Megan, reel him in, reel him in, that’s it, easy does it. Perfect. Okay, now throw him back in.’
Say the name Megan McKenna, and I bet the first picture that comes into your head isn’t a little girl sitting fishing with her granddad. But that’s me, and whenever I look back on my childhood, it’s one of the first images I have in my head.
I can still hear my granddad’s voice, from those summers that went on and on when I was young. We’d be sat down by the lake, with him teaching me how to fish. Whenever we got a bite, we’d shout our heads off. As you’ll be able to tell in this book, I adored my granddad. We’d sit there for hour after hour, just fishing, throwing them back in, and talking. This is probably one of the only sports you’d ever see me doing… Wait, is it even a sport? I don’t even know.
Whoops! I’m only on the second page and I’ve already jumped ahead in the story. Let’s start at the very beginning… I was born in Barking, the Barking Hospital to be exact, on 26 September 1992. That makes me a true Essex girl. Not going to lie, I was quite a chubby baby. Okay, to be completely honest, I had rolls of fat – proper ROLLS and loads of them – and I also had a massive head of black, really thick hair. God, I’m really selling myself, aren’t I?! My mum used to say I was really cute, and I even remember there was a picture of me in our kitchen, bang in the middle of the kitchen, right above the microwave so nobody could miss it. I used to get so embarrassed – whenever my friends came round, I’d smack it down.
I know I don’t need to tell any TOWIE fans this next bit, but just for the record, my mum is Tanya, and my dad is Dave. My mum is literally my best friend. I definitely got my party genes from my dad and they both mean the world to me. My mum and dad have been together since they were seventeen years old – they went to the same school, the same class, everything! All those years side by side – pretty impressive, I know. One of these days, I might even get to experience something like that in my own love life. Oh God, let’s not go there right now. Moving along…
My mum’s always been a florist and my dad used to be a printer. When I was little, we lived in South Woodford in Essex, but all my family on both sides are from Bethnal Green. Proper Cockneys, which is why I probably sound a bit… I don’t want to use the word chavvy… Okay, I sound chavvy. I joke about it to Mum – I tell her it’s all her fault. She sounds like a proper East Ender, and all my dad’s family do too.
We’ve always been a tight family, and on my dad’s side it’s huge. He’s got three sisters and four brothers, and they all used to live in a two-bedroom flat, all in bunk beds like one of them nursery rhymes or fairy tales. He used to tell me funny stories about when he was little, all of them growing up in that tiny space – I was always saying, ‘Tell me about the time…’ But the truth is, they were proper poor. They had literally nothing, and what they did have was shared between eight of them. My mum’s family was a bit more stable. They had a flat near Roman Road Market, which is where I spent a lot of time growing up myself, always hanging out at my nan and granddad’s house. All of us proper East Enders.
Sadly, my dad lost his parents quite young and moved in with my mum’s family when he was eighteen. They were still in Bethnal Green back then, but pretty much straight after, they moved further out of London to South Woodford, and then five years later, to their home in Woodford – where they live to this day. All TOWIE fans would recognise their kitchen table straight away. It’s where I’ve sat for all them scenes, drinking tea and constantly trying to defend myself, ha ha.
I was the first child to come along. My brother Harry arrived three years after me. He was a little shit – he used to eat mud, hide from my mum, and one time he even stuck a runner bean up his nose and we had to rush to A&E so it could get pulled out with tweezers. I’ll never forget that image of my little brother getting a full-length green bean pulled out. These days we’re really protective of each other – you’d think he was my older brother. To be honest, I’m quite lucky, cos it’s like I have my own security guard. To make things even better, he’s got an unreal girlfriend who is a really close friend of mine, Jordan.
Then Milly turned up four years after Harry. Poor Milly, I used to drag her around in my Baby Born buggy and walk around with her on my hip like she was my own child. I’ll never forget her cute little chicken pox face, sitting on her favourite Teletubbies chair, hogging the TV. She was so cute. Now, she’s one of my bestest friends and I tell her everything. She’s literally a mini-me. Well, actually, we look the same age as well. She’s gorgeous. I’m so lucky to have such an amazing brother and sister. The three of us have always been really close.
But yes, I can safely say, as first child I was a little bit spoilt, and I got all the attention from Nan and Granddad, plus all my other great nannies and granddads. If I look at the old family tapes now, all you can see is me singing, dancing, or just sitting still, being the centre of attention. They literally wanted every bit of movement on camera.
I’ve always been a little bit different when it comes to dressing up. From when I was tiny, I always wanted the shiniest version of something. If I was getting new shoes, they had to have a little bit of a heel on them. If I got new shoes from Clarks, I couldn’t wait to show them off at school. I’d even roll up my skirt a bit just to be sure everyone got the full effect. Looking back, I’m not sure I always got quite the right look. Clarks school shoes are always pretty clumpy, and I’ve got really skinny legs, so most of the time, my feet just ended up looking absolutely massive. God, I must have looked like a right twat!
Even back to when I used to go to playgroup I used to kick up a fuss that I wanted to wear a dress. My mum would say, ‘No, Megan, everyone will see your drawers, put on some shorts just so you can go and play,’ and then she’d promise me I could put my dress on later, thinking I’d forget like any normal child would. But I never forgot a promise. If my mum said I could wear one later, I’d run home, demanding ‘Where’s my dress?’ and the first thing I’d do was put that dress on.
My nan and granddad used to have a chalet in Sawbridgeworth in Hertfordshire, and that was our family’s special spot. They lived there all summer with my granddad’s mum Nanny Ginny, and Nanny Joan and Granddad Tom. They meant everything to me, and I was their little star. It was on the outskirts of the town, down a little path, right at the end, and it looked over a beautiful lake. We’d be there every single weekend and all the summer holidays. Our family were all friends with the neighbours, and they let us use their gate to get to the lake. That’s where my granddad and I went to fish – our own little spot. Much later on down the track, I was sent to stay on a farm in Nashville for a TV show, and everyone saw me freaking out, but that was because of being made to stay in a pitch-black barn in the middle of nowhere. I was actually quite happy getting my hands dirty. All them years before at the chalet, if we weren’t fishing, I used to help my granddad with his runner beans. Ha ha – what is this thing with runner beans and my family? Maybe that’s why I use the word ‘bean’ so much. Do you call someone a bean if they do something stupid? I don’t know, maybe it’s just an Essex thing. To be honest, I actually think I’m a secret tomboy. The majority of my wardrobe is boy tracksuits, trucker hats and Nikes. Meanwhile, Nanny Ginny and Nanny Jean, used to sit in the white battered old chair. Nanny Ginny was chief peeler and Nanny Jean would be setting the table.
It was an amazing time in my life, and I have so many memories. As well as the chalet where mums and dads hung out, there was a caravan where all the kids slept. We had loads of toys, but we spent most of our time outside. We always got told to go and entertain ourselves somewhere. Proper country kids. One of our favourite ways to spend our time was to make our way to ‘Beckingham Palace’, as we and everyone else called it, just up the road. We’d stand by the gates for ages, waiting to see if Posh or Becks would drive through in a blacked-out car. It never happened, but we never gave up trying.
Even though I was this close every day to a proper Spice Girl, our favourite time was spent in the actual chalet. I loved it there – inside was really warm and cosy, full of ornaments, a tiny TV, and my nan’s good luck horseshoes everywhere. Nan and Granddad’s room was all peach-coloured, and the bathroom had these big suction mats. Me, my brother and sister were terrified there were spiders hiding underneath. Granddad smelled of kippers because he ate them all the time – he’d always put them with granary bread. Nanny Ginny would smother the bread with real butter, and my mum used to go mad, ha ha. Whenever I smell kippers now, it always takes me straight back to that special place. So many amazing memories. Really happy times!
The chalet was finally sold about ten years ago. It was really big, and by then, it was making too much work for my granddad, as there was a lot of land, so they sold up and moved to a bungalow in Chingford. But the chalet is where I had the real, best parts of my childhood. I’m not sure if it’s actually legal, so I can’t say whether this is true or not, but in 2016, when we lost my granddad, if we’d thought of it, we might have sprinkled his ashes, by the waterfall at the edge of the lake. As we all agreed at the time, there would have been no better place.
As well as my family, my other great love growing up was putting on a show. Even as a tiny tot, it was always me putting on a performance – singing, dancing, even a bit of acting. At Christmas, my favourite thing was to dress up as the Virgin Mary, and skip around in the hallway with a tea towel round my head, while all the relatives took turns to say, ‘Well done, Megan.’ I like to think I was actually quite good. No, hang on a minute, I WAS good!
Then it was off to Churchfields Juniors, my first school and the place I can 100 per cent say gave me the happiest years of my entire education. My brother and sister went there as well, so I still know quite a few people from them years, and I bump into them when I’m out and about locally. It feels like very few people have left the area.
I loved it at Churchfields. I had amazing friends, and when I said, ‘Let’s do a routine in the playground,’ nobody ever refused. I was always really confident, even back then, and I’d always be breaking into song, but no matter what was going on, the signs that life wasn’t going to be easy for me were there from the start. Like the time a bird shat on me mid-performance in the school playground. Sometimes, I’d even get out my violin and play a quick tune. Yes, you did read that correctly, ha ha. I know it’s a bit random, I’m not really sure now why I wanted to do it, but I had violin lessons back then and even took up the piano for a bit as well. All them lessons and I can only play one song.
It’s mad how the little things in my life used to make my day, like getting 20p for a slice of bread and butter, or carrot sticks. I used to queue up with my girls and then strut around the playground in my new Clarks shoes. If only life stayed that simple.
All I really wanted was to do something musical, even back then. I used to take my violin around Nanny Joan and Granddad Tom’s house and play them tunes for hours at a time. How lucky they were to have a screeching violin in their ears every weekend! It probably sounded so bad, but bless them, they always sat and listened to everything really seriously, and then clapped really loudly at the end of every single tune.
Two other people who loved me performing and were always my biggest fans were Nanny Jean and my granddad. He’s called Roy, but people called him Dick. Ha ha, what a nickname. He always told me, ‘You’re going to be a star, Megan.’