Justice always whirls in equal measure – Love’s Labour’s Lost
Warmer weather had finally arrived in Edinburgh while she’d been away. Blossom had fallen from the trees, creating a pale-pink and white blanket of petals in Prince’s Park, and the early snowdrops and bluebells had been replaced by a riot of yellow daffodils, their trumpets heralding new beginnings. A shaft of yellow sunlight shone through Lucy’s office window, reflecting on her laptop screen. She angled it, trying to read the contract she had up on there, highlighting the parts she wanted to change.
‘Lucy, do you have a minute?’
She looked up to see Malcolm Dunvale standing in her office doorway. She clicked save on her document then pulled the screen down. ‘Of course. Do you want me to come to your office?’ Please God, don’t let it be bad news. She’d had enough of that to last her a lifetime.
‘Yes please.’ She followed him to the glass-walled room, walking in as he pulled the door shut and sat on the corner of his desk. ‘I just wanted to let you know the Glencarraig thing is over.’
‘It’s over? How?’ A sense of panic washed over her. ‘I thought you were waiting for a court date to be confirmed.’
Malcolm shrugged. ‘All I know is that the two parties have come to some kind of agreement and the case is off.’ He gave her a tight smile. ‘I thought you’d be pleased. Hopefully now we can forget all about it and just get on with our work.’
She didn’t feel pleased, though. She felt as though the final corner of the rug was being pulled out from under her, and she was tumbling downwards. Even though she’d been taken off the case, Lachlan’s inheritance was still one of the last things tying him to Edinburgh.
And maybe tying him to her.
‘What kind of agreement have they come to?’ she asked.
‘I’ve no idea. Apparently Dewey and Clarke are taking care of that, and John Graves will sign off on the other end. As far as Robinson and Balfour are concerned, the case is officially closed.’
‘Oh.’ It was hard to ignore the look of relief on Malcolm’s face. As her boss, she knew she’d put him in an awkward position, and he was clearly pleased to be free of it. She should be pleased, too, shouldn’t she?
‘Do you know if Mr MacLeish is keeping the title and the lodge?’ she asked. For a moment she could see Glencarraig in all its glory, against the backdrop of mountains and hills. Had he given it all up just so he never had to see her again?
‘Which Mr MacLeish?’ Malcolm asked her.
‘Lachlan. The client.’ She swallowed hard.
‘I’ve no idea. He was vague about the details, just said there was nothing for us to worry about. And asked for me to pass on his thanks for the hard work, of course.’ He frowned for a second. ‘Am I right in assuming that you haven’t spoken to him?’
‘That’s right.’
He looked at her for a long minute, and she could almost guess what he was thinking. Why had she put them all in such a tight position, only to pull away from Lachlan? He didn’t voice the question, though, just stood and stretched his arms, his action all but dismissing her. ‘Right, well, that was all really.’ He paused before nodding at her. ‘This is a good thing, Lucy. You can get on with your work and not worry about how this affects your career any more.’
She nodded, and attempted a smile, whispering a thank-you as she left the room. As soon as she was back at her desk, she lowered her head into her hands, covering her face with her palms.
It was as though she’d gone from treading water to being washed away by a tidal wave. There was an emptiness inside her, a profound feeling of loss. As though the final tie that bound her to Lachlan had unravelled.
You don’t have to worry how this affects your career any more.
But right now her career was the last thing on her mind.
Her fingers hovered over the dial pad of her telephone, as she stared at the black plastic handset. Next to the phone her full cup of coffee had cooled to a barely tepid mess, her stomach too churned up to be able to drink from the mug that Lynn had brought her. Lucy rolled her bottom lip between her teeth, tasting the metallic tang of the soft flesh inside her mouth.
She reached out to pick up the handset, then pulled her arm back again, as though she’d just been burned. God, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so indecisive. That kind of behaviour just wasn’t in her genes. She was Lucy Shakespeare, the girl who took charge. The woman who made decisions and stuck by them.
Or at least, that was who she used to be.
Before she could bring herself to lift the receiver to her ear, the telephone started to buzz. She looked out of her office window to see Lynn gesturing at her.
‘Hello?’
‘I have Mr Tanaka on the line for you.’ Lynn shot her a smile through the glass.
‘Mr Tanaka?’ Lucy repeated. ‘Okay, put him through.’
Within a moment she heard a click. ‘Grant?’
‘Lucy. How are you?’
‘A bit confused. Is Lachlan there?’ she asked.
‘He’s travelling.’ Grant’s tone held a note of regret. ‘I just wanted to bring you up to speed on the Glencarraig situation.’
‘Is Lachlan okay?’ she asked. ‘I really need to talk to him.’ She should have spoken to him days ago, she knew that now. But every time she picked up the phone she couldn’t find the right words. Maybe they didn’t exist.
‘He’s on his way to Miami. He needs to explain some things to his mom.’ She could hear Grant shifting something on his desk.
‘Oh. Of course.’ Family came first, always. Wasn’t she the one who told him that? ‘So what happened? My boss just told me the case is closed.’
‘That’s right. Lachlan and Duncan have been talking. They’ve come to an agreement.’
‘He’s been talking with his brother?’ She sat up straight. ‘When did that happen?’
‘At the gala you missed.’
His words hit her like a rebuke. She recoiled at their impact. ‘Oh.’
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound like that.’
‘It’s okay.’ Her voice was soft. ‘He’s your friend, of course you’re going to stand up for him.’ She couldn’t help but taste the regret on her tongue. ‘How is he?’
The silence lasted for long enough that she began to wonder if the connection was lost. She shook the handset to see if there was something wrong with it.
‘He’s not been great,’ Grant finally said. ‘You messed with his mind, Lucy. He thought you liked him. Hell, the guy fell in love with you. You broke him.’
His words felt like a dagger scraping against her heart. ‘No,’ she whispered, as much as herself as to Grant. ‘I’m the broken one.’
Grant gave a little laugh. ‘Well, you know what they say: broken attracts broken.’
‘And hurt people hurt people,’ she said, her heart still stuck in her throat. She tried to inhale, the air catching in her mouth. ‘But I really didn’t mean to hurt him.’
‘He didn’t mean to hurt you, either.’ Grant sounded genuine. ‘But you left him when he needed you. Do you understand how that made him feel? Nobody has ever stayed with him. Not his father, not his mother. Hell, even I’m moving away. He thought you were different and you …’ Grant sighed. ‘You left.’
‘I had to take care of my family,’ Lucy told him. ‘He must understand that. They have to come first.’
‘You have a very narrow definition of family,’ Grant pointed out. ‘It doesn’t just mean blood ties. Look at Lachlan and me. We’re from different families, heck we’re from different races. And yet I love that man like a brother. And it doesn’t matter where either of us end up, if he needs me, I’ll be there.’
‘He’s very lucky to have you.’ She couldn’t hide the tears in her voice.
‘The feeling is pretty mutual,’ Grant said. ‘He’s a good guy, Lucy. Beneath all that bravado and that alpha male shit, he’s just a guy. Someone who deserves to be loved.’
She closed her eyes to stem the flow of tears. How many had she cried these past few weeks? There had to be a water shortage somewhere because of her. But even her mind was against her, her dark eyelids providing a screen for a replay of her memories. Of her first glance of Lachlan when he walked into that Miami restaurant, commanding the room as soon as he stepped inside. Of him walking into her bedroom in Glencarraig, lifting her as easily as if she was a blanket, his body warm and hard against hers.
Of the way he opened up to her, laying himself bare as he told her the story of his childhood.
And then she’d left him, and broken both their hearts.
‘I didn’t know what to do,’ she whispered, her eyes still tightly shut. ‘I had to see my sister, I had to leave …’ She shook her head, trying to make sense of it all. ‘Everything was so out of control.’
‘What happened, Lucy? You could have called him when you got home. Instead, he got days of silence.’
‘I was waiting for him to make the first move. I didn’t want to make things worse.’ God, it sounded so stupid now. Why the hell hadn’t she called him? ‘I was afraid,’ she admitted.
‘Of Lachlan?’ Grant sounded surprised. ‘Why were you afraid of him?’
It was all making sense. Saying it out loud was like a light bulb sparking up in her head. For the weeks she and Lachlan had been together, there was always a part of her waiting for it to end. The way things always ended with somebody she loved.
Love? The word was enough to send a chill down her spine, and yet warm her at the same time. Because love made you vulnerable, it opened you up to hurt. Love meant losing control.
‘It wasn’t him I was afraid of,’ she said, more to herself than Grant. ‘It was me. I was afraid I was falling for him. I was afraid he’d hurt me. So I left before he could.’
‘You’re as bad as each other.’ Grant gave out a little huff. ‘I’ve never met two people who are so successful professionally, and yet have no idea what they’re doing with their personal lives. If I didn’t know any different I’d say you were made for one another.’
Was it wrong that his words felt like a bouquet of hope blooming inside her?
‘Maybe we are,’ she said. ‘And maybe we’re both too blind to see it.’
‘If you just talked occasionally, it would help. And I don’t mean telling him what clothes you’re wearing whenever he calls.’
Her cheeks pinked up. Grant knew about that?
‘Seriously, call him. Stop dancing around each other, it’s getting you nowhere. He misses you, he wants you, but he’s scared. Since he was a kid he’s been determined to pull himself out of the life he was born into. Determined to prove himself to his dad and his brother and God knows who else. He’s still learning that life isn’t just about winning, but about enjoying the journey.’
‘I could help him.’
‘You already started. But you got interrupted mid-project.’
‘I’ll call him,’ she said, her mind made up. ‘But what if he doesn’t answer?’
‘You tell me. Will that be enough for you to give up? Are you that afraid of being rejected?’
She was. But maybe she could stop letting the fear guide her. Maybe she could make herself vulnerable, open herself up, and see where the breeze took her. Yes, it was going to be as scary as hell, and yes she’d stumble on the way. But the alternative – to lose him – was even more painful.
‘Grant?’
‘Yes?’ he said patiently.
‘What agreement did he come to with his brother?’
‘How about you ask him that?’ Grant suggested. ‘All I can say is he seems happy with the situation.’
She nodded, still clutching the phone to her ear. ‘Yes, I’ll ask him.’
‘That’s good.’
It was, wasn’t it? Even if her whole body was shaking at the thought. They said their goodbyes and she gently replaced the phone on the receiver, tapping the plastic casing with her fingers, deep in thought.
She couldn’t help but remember the way he’d flown to Edinburgh that Friday night, giving her the shock of her life in the most exquisite way. He’d made a grand gesture, made her feel wanted, cherished, taken care of. Opened his heart to her when he told her he wanted more.
Maybe it was her turn to make a grand gesture right back.