Faith enjoyed getting to know Magdalene and was happy to have met at least one of her sisters’ children. Magdalene reminded Faith of herself at the same age. She was shy to start with but was soon asking questions about Faith’s life. Faith showed her photos of her cousins and saw the way the girl looked wide-eyed at Becky in her jeans and Mickey Mouse T-shirt and the one of Rachel in a short dress at Daniel’s birthday dinner last year.
“Their father lets them dress like that? Like regular Outsiders?” she asked.
Faith laughed. “I know it seems very strange to you. It took me a while to adjust when I left, but my husband Daniel is a great dad and he cares very much for his children. It’s just different out there to how things are here with the Servants. It’s not bad, just different.”
Magdalene considered her for a while. “I heard my mother telling Aunt Charity that you should never have finished school. That was what started all the trouble. I wish I could have stayed at school though.”
“Magdalene, you know what the sermons say about listening in on other people’s conversations,” Charity said somewhat half-heartedly, but Magdalene just shrugged. “It’s true though, aunt. I liked school and I wished I could have stayed.”
“Do you really want to do your needlepoint or did you just come over because you were curious about your Aunt Faith?”
“You know I hate needlepoint. Grandma says I have two left hands,” Magdalene said, screwing up her nose. “What?” she added, when Faith and Charity both burst out laughing.
Jebediah came in from where he’d been out in the garden and Charity sent Magdalene to make tea and biscuits. Faith wanted to say something about how unfair it was that this task always fell to the girls, but because she had two daughters she realised she’d always got them to do the same thing. If she had had a boy though, she was sure she would have made sure he could cook and that he did his fair share of cleaning too. Daniel was a great cook and had always insisted he do as much as her around the house, especially once she went back to study and work.
“So anyway, how’s Josiah Burns?” she asked instead.
“He married Serenity Williams six months after you left,” Charity said. “They have six kids and another on the way.”
“Praise be,” Faith replied, faintly.
Magdalene left and Faith and Charity made ham sandwiches for dinner and more cups of tea. Jebediah went back to his reading, so Faith and Charity sat at the kitchen table and caught up on their years apart. They soon got to talking about Magdalene.
“I worry about her,” Charity said, frowning down at her hands. “She has such a spirit, you know? She reminds me so much of you at that age.”
“She’s what, sixteen?”
“Just turned eighteen. The elders are organising a betrothal and she’s deeply unhappy with the idea, by God’s grace. Faith … she’s talked to me about leaving the community.”
Faith didn’t really know what to say. “Because of the betrothal?” she asked.
“Not just that. She’s a clever, curious girl and she’s observant. She knows about other girls her age moving away to study. I probably shouldn’t have, but I’ve talked to her about you. It’s likely only encouraged her, and I’m not her mother, I know it’s not my place. Lord grant me forgiveness.”
“What does Hope think?”
“I don’t know, we’ve never talked about it. Hope has accepted her lot but she and Lemuel don’t have the same connection I have with Jeb. I get the feeling she feels frustrated she hasn’t been able to have any say in the husbands chosen for her daughters. I know that Abigail isn’t happy in her union.”
It gave Faith something to think about. After evening prayer, they all retired to their bedrooms and, as it was still early, she gave Cliff a call to update him, talking quietly on her ‘contraband’ phone. He was happy to stay in Invercargill for a while and gave Faith an update about the van.
She decided she’d have another try the next day to talk to her father, but didn’t want to stay longer than that. To be honest, she was ready to get home now. She called Daniel and they chatted until her battery was almost flat.
“How do you feel about leaving when Magdalene is unhappy?” he asked her.
“Not great, to be honest, but I can’t just whisk her away. It feels wrong even suggesting it. I’m not sure she even knows where she wants to go or what she wants to do. You have no idea of what your options are when you’re in the community. Or that you have any.”
“Well, whatever you decide, I’ll have your back. Think back to how you felt at that age, maybe. Would you like to have had someone help you?”
“I did, I had Mrs Paulson, Tania’s mother. Gosh, imagine what my life would have been like if I’d stayed.”
Charity had a morning prayer group after breakfast and Faith had been thinking about Tania’s mother after she’d hung up from Daniel the night before. She decided to pay her a visit. Jackie Paulson lived in a unit on the other side of town from where the community was, so she caught a ride with Jebediah in the egg van into town and then walked the rest of the way. She’d borrowed a warm coat off Charity and she needed it. She’d forgotten that feeling of chill down south that turned your feet into blocks of ice if you didn’t have a decent pair of socks.
“Faith! Oh, my darling, how wonderful to see you. Tania said you might call in and I so hoped you would. Can I get you a coffee or cup of tea?”
Faith gave Jackie a hug. They clung together for longer than was probably normal. She hadn’t been overly close to her friend’s mother when they were at school but she might never have had the courage to leave if it hadn’t been for her. She had talked to her parents about the idea of nursing college and whatever she had said had helped.
“I never got to thank you,” she said now, a bit tearily.
Over tea she told Jackie about Magdalene. “I don’t know whether it’s my place to do anything,” she said. “My family will probably hate me more than they already do if I help her.”
“The ones who have rejected you will continue to do so, I’ve no doubt, but your sister — Charity — it doesn’t sound like she’s totally against the idea.”
“I don’t want her to get into trouble with her husband.”
“He seems like a reasonable man. He’s known around town as being quite approachable. I do know how you feel though. It was the same with you. I didn’t want to interfere with the Servants of Christ community but Faith, you had so much potential and I wanted to make sure you were able to grab it by the balls if you wanted to take that option.”
It was in Faith’s nature to help people. That was the reason she’d thought she wanted to take up nursing but ended up doing social work. Really, she was in the best position to help Magdalene if she wanted it.
When she arrived back at Charity’s she changed back into the long skirt. “I’m going to have one more try to speak to Dad,” she told her.
“Well, I’m headed there now so I’ll be with you for moral support.”
As they walked past her oldest sister Grace’s house, Faith kept looking over, hoping to get a glimpse of her sister or maybe see her looking out the window, her curiosity having got the better of her. There was no sign. Grace had made it clear to Charity that she didn’t want to see Faith and Faith knew she had to respect that.
“May the Lord show you favour,” she said when her mother opened the door, and this time she received a nod. It was progress.
Charity had brought some soup she’d made that morning and Faith followed her into their father’s room, standing behind her so at first he didn’t see her.
“Daughter. The Lord has not bestowed favour upon me this morning.”
“No, father, perhaps tomorrow,” Charity replied. The old man had been sick for years, Faith had found out, but had only been bedridden for the past few weeks. He must have thought he’d done something seriously displeasing for his Lord God to not have taken him yet.
“By the Grace of God,” he muttered.
As Charity stepped forward the old man noticed Faith. He grunted but didn’t say anything as Charity patiently propped him up with an extra pillow. “I’ve brought you some pumpkin soup, father. Shall we pray?”
“No, go, daughter. I don’t want to eat. Leave me.” Charity turned to Faith and shrugged as though this were a common occurrence. They started to leave.
“Not you,” he said suddenly. Faith looked over and he was staring at her directly with his steely blue eyes. She gave Charity a nod to show that she was okay and went over to sit next to him.
“May the Lord show you favour,” she said. He watched her for a long while. At least this time he wasn’t refusing to even look at her.
“You’re not staying.”
Faith was unsure whether it was a question or a statement.
“No, father, I have a husband and two daughters, Rachel and Rebecca, who need me.”
Her father grunted. “Those are good names.” He closed his eyes. “Pray with me,” he said.
“Merciful God, I pray that you will show comfort to my father and give skill to the hands of his healers. Let his heart in thy grace be found and lift his soul towards thineself, should that be thine will: through our saviour, Jesus Christ. Amen.”
“Amen,” her father added. He closed his eyes then and Faith sat for a bit, thinking he’d fallen asleep. She stood to go.
“Daughter?”
Faith paused, one hand already on the door.
“Is he happy?”
A jolt shot through Faith. She knew he was talking about Isaac. Isaac who wouldn’t be allowed to even cross the hearth of the family home. Who he had disowned.
“Yes, he is,” she said softly. There was no expression on her father’s face as he closed his eyes again and Faith left the room, closing the door gently behind her.