Holly tried not to haunt the place but she did find herself paying frequent visits to Kate and Charlie. She wasn’t the only one. Luckily they were so besotted with their new daughter they were only too willing to show her to the world. Holly didn’t make any more of a nuisance of herself than anyone else. Louise had captured the hearts of them all.
When she was two weeks old her grandparents moved back home but there was no shortage of volunteers to hold her while Kate had a nap. ‘Charlie won’t be home for ages yet and you need a rest,’ was the usual proffered excuse. Kate laughed at their concern but was obviously delighted. She sometimes even said yes. All the waiting, all the worrying about getting pregnant, they were in the past now.
Charlie had been dreading going back to work but they settled into a routine fairly quickly, helped by the fact that Louise was the perfect baby. Holly was turned completely inside out every time she went. While Kate was giving the baby a bath, Holly’s little finger was grasped inside Louise’s tiny fist from start to finish.
‘Erm, I’m sorry, Holly, but you need to let go so I can wash her hand.’
‘Me let go? Your daughter has got a vice-like grip on me – let me tell you. She’s the one that needs to let go.’
She had to struggle with herself to pull her finger away and as soon as Kate had washed Louise’s hand she offered it to her again.
From the outset Louise woke only once each night after her late evening feed and, though their mornings began at an unprecedented hour for her parents, the baby cried only when she was hungry and obviously accepted the adoration of all as nothing but her due.
***
Phoebe and Steve set off for Australia and their friends didn’t really expect to hear from them during the three weeks they were away. Instead they had blanket emails giving them a blow-by-blow account of the indescribably long journey.
‘I knew it would take ages. I didn’t think it would take almost for ever, though Singapore was amazing. Phoebe’s coped really well with it all.’
Holly hadn’t been sure Phoebe would appreciate being treated as a delicate flower but it seemed she was enjoying every moment and Steve had changed from a seemingly frivolous young man into a responsible adult and she his precious charge.
His message when they finally arrived left them in no doubt about the level of excitement. ‘It’s summer here. I can’t believe how hot it is. And the cafés and restaurants? Nobody eats indoors. Nobody hurries. And you know the Oz reputation for rudeness. Well if it is here we haven’t come across it yet. We were standing on a street corner trying the work our way around the town map when this guy came over. “Need some help, mate?” You can just imagine someone doing that in one of our big cities, can’t you, and he then proceeded to spend the next few minutes explaining to us where we were, because it was so obvious we didn’t have a clue, and how to get to where we wanted to be, Queen Victoria Market.
‘What a place that is! A Melbourne institution in the north of the city and a must do. It has the best deli section I have ever seen. I have to admit it I indulged myself unashamedly. Phoebe too. It’s a huge place, part open, part in covered sheds, with all the usual tat that markets have but also with some wonderful bargains. Apparently there are plans afoot to renovate it – and a lot of objections as it’s built on an old cemetery dating back to early settlement days. It would be such a shame. We had a whale of a time there.’
A couple of days later: ‘Today we visited Federation Square, it is the meeting place, on Flinders Street just along from the railway station.’
And: ‘We are such tourists. We’ve been to Melbourne Museum, the Zoo, and the Botanical Gardens. Okay, travelogue over but still lots more to do and see before we come home. And the funniest thing happened. We got talking to a guy at the museum and, would you believe it, I never dreamt my degree would stand me in such good stead but when we get home you’ll find me hard at work researching the background of our English aristocracy, those who fell on hard times and were either shipped to Oz or came of their own accord to make a new start. Not everyone who came to Australia arrived on a convict ship. They’re very interested here in their antecedents. They think I’m a bit of a posh nob –’ pauses for laughter ‘– and that I’d be an appropriate person to take on the project.’
***
As if it hadn’t been bad enough recovering from the floods, winter that year seemed to be endless. The snow that didn’t come at Christmas now fell countrywide and as ever the ploughs were unable to cope with the resulting drifts, slush, and ice. Tubs was in her element, well one of them. She loved the water. But snow? That was something different and very exciting. Something she’d never seen before. She licked it, she rolled in it, and on one particularly cold day she had icicles clinging to her fur. So much so she jingled as she moved and Holly and Adam fell about laughing because she kept looking round to see where the strange noise was coming from.
‘I haven’t built a snowman in years. What do you think, Holly? Are you game?’
‘You’re such a child. A snowman?’
He looked quite dejected until she said, ‘Great, but I bagsy doing the carrot. Have you got an old hat?’
‘Not personally but I’m sure I’ll be able to improvise. Hang on, there’s on old deerstalker in the Land Rover. Will that do?’
They set to with a will in the back garden and Tubs was a most enthusiastic if somewhat ineffectual helper. In fact she demolished as quickly as they built. It was a great game – for her. Somehow, in spite of their apprentice, they managed to construct a pretty impressive specimen. Adam went to collect the hat and Holly went into the cottage to find a suitable carrot with which to decorate their masterpiece. She took Tubs with her. She had more sense than to leave her outside to bulldoze Worzel while they weren’t looking.
‘Worzel?’ Adam asked when she referred to the snowman by name. ‘Surely he was a scarecrow?’
‘Don’t care. Worzel I have named him and Worzel he will remain until such time as Tubs or the weather cause his demise.’
It might have had something to do with the rather long multi-coloured scarf Adam had brought back with the hat, and the bits of straw that had become stuck to it, presumably on one or more of his farm visits.
‘I thought it might just give him that finishing touch.’
‘He looks just like what’s-his-name in Dr Who. Tom Thingummy. Baker. That’s the one. It’s perfect.’
By the time they’d finished their snowman looked magnificent, Holly and Adam had very rosy cheeks, and they both got very wet and dirty trying to stop Tubs from destroying it – Adam at one time wrestling her on the ground and rolling with her to keep her away. It was the best afternoon ever.
‘Keep her off it if you can. I’m going to get my phone. This warrants a picture or two.’
Holly snapped away happily but the best one was of Worzel, flanked on either side by Adam and Tubs, looking for all the world like a couple of naughty kids.
‘This one is going on my fridge after I’ve printed it off.’
***
Adam went to stand behind her to see, bits of ice sticking to his woollen gloves just as they had to Tubs’s fur. He could feel the heat of Holly’s body coming through her anorak as she leaned back against him. He tickled her chin with a gloved finger and she squirmed and wriggled away. Just as well, he thought. I could lose her for ever if I do the wrong thing.
***
Poor Worzel. The bad weather went on for some time but he only made it through to the next day. Tubs came into the house with a guilty air and carrying the carrot in her jaws. She didn’t even try to brazen it out. Holly laughed so much she got a stitch. Adam, who seemed to be spending a lot of time round at Holly’s, was all for making another one but in the end they decided it wouldn’t have been the same.
That didn’t stop them playing several games of snowball throwing, Holly proving there is absolutely no truth in the rumour that girls can’t throw. Her aim was true and in any case Adam was a much bigger target. Tubs got even more excited during these games than she had when they were building Worzel. Holly almost felt sorry for her when the snow finally cleared. She needn’t have worried. She was born to have fun whatever the weather and the world was her oyster.
Life settled into a gentle pattern. At an unbelievably fast rate Louise was getting bigger. Emma was getting bigger. Even Phoebe’s bump was getting bigger. Something else was growing too. The little seed that had been planted the first time Holly saw Louise had shown quite a sizeable growth. How things had changed. She would never have believed it if anyone had suggested that motherhood might be a part of her future. It wasn’t overwhelming her yet but the wish was sitting there, waiting for the right time to surface.
One day she realised the air of mustiness had gone from her home. The smell of the flood that had lingered for so long had finally dispersed and the scent of spring outside pervaded the atmosphere indoors as well. Holly found herself smiling as she sat in the kitchen drinking the inevitable cup of coffee. Her thoughts had drifted back to the day last winter when she had first bumped into Adam. How off the mark she had been about him. How quickly they had both been to jump to the wrong conclusions.
She found herself wishing her parents were still here to see what had become of their daughter, that town-bred girl whom they would never have imagined would settle in the country. Now she couldn’t see herself living anywhere else.
***
‘Gordon!’
‘How are you, Holly? May I come in?’
It was the middle of the evening and she’d dragged herself away from the television to answer the door.
‘Of course.’ She stood back for him to pass in front of her. He’d lost weight; she could see that immediately. He had a bit of a haunted look about him as well and stood in the hallway as if he didn’t quite know what to do next.
‘Go on into the parlour. You know the way. I’ll make some coffee.’ Not just a good hostess, she needed the breathing space before talking to him, needed to quash the hostility she still felt on Phoebe’s behalf. Needed to remember that this man had once been her friend, had once nearly been more than a friend. He was still standing when she joined him a few minutes later.
‘Sit down, Gordon. You’re not a stranger here.’
He sat, taking the proffered coffee. ‘Thank you. I wanted to talk to you. Explain.’ He looked so miserable.
‘It’s been months, Gordon. You just disappeared. Couldn’t you have confided in one of us –’ she didn’t want to take it all on herself ‘– if you were in trouble? Wasn’t there something we could have done to help you?’
A shrug of the shoulders was the only response.
‘And why have you come back now, after all this time?’
He made a gesture with his head in the direction of his old home.
‘I’ve come back to collect a few things. There was no way I could face any of you back then. I didn’t think anything could be done to help.’
‘How did it happen?’
‘Addiction.’
‘You do drugs!!’
‘No, not that. Gambling. It just built up over time. It all started years ago with the odd bet on the horses – just now and then. Somehow, without me even realising, it grew to be every day. I moved from the track to one of those online poker sites. I won a few times and then I couldn’t stop, Holly. I kept thinking it would be all right and I’d recover the money the next time, or the next. The stakes became larger. I’m sure you understand the logic. A big bet and I’d get it all back, dig myself out of the hole. Trouble was, the hole just kept getting bigger and bigger. I think I was actually glad when they finally caught me.’ His voice broke on a sob and Holly found herself feeling desperately sorry for him.
‘Where have you been all this time?’ she asked quietly.
‘Wales. I’ve been staying at a centre where they help people like me. The police know where I am. I wasn’t hiding.’ He paused. ‘Just from my friends.’
‘And have they been able to help you?’
‘It’s like any addiction. I don’t think you’re ever cured, but I realise what a fool I’ve been. That’s one of the reasons I’ve come to see you. I don’t expect you to be able to forgive me but I’m hoping you’ll be able to understand.’
‘Help me to understand, Gordon. Tell me how you could steal from one of your oldest friends.’
‘When you’re in the grip of it you don’t think. I used to visit people’s houses. They’d invite me into their homes to see some of the things that were too big to bring into the shop for me to value. I didn’t just steal, Holly. I cherry-picked,’ he said with a voice of self-loathing. ‘It was the same at Phoebe’s. Somehow though maybe I had just a grain of decency left in me. I couldn’t bring myself to sell what I’d stolen from her.’
‘I’m glad of that at least.’
‘Adam knew, you know. At least, I think he did. He was in the shop once and saw something.’ Gordon went on to describe to Holly the incident Adam had previously told her about. ‘I resented him like hell. It wasn’t until later, when I’d got over the madness a bit, that I realised he’d kept quiet. I can only assume for the sake of our friendship. It was never the same after that though. I wish now he’d shopped me at the time.’
Gordon sounded bitter. Holly wasn’t sure she liked the way he was turning it round onto Adam, as if everything would have been okay if only he’d spoken up. She didn’t say so. What would have been the point? Gordon was already a broken man.
‘Why have you come, Gordon, really? What do you expect me to do?’
‘Expect? Nothing really. The hearing may not come up for months yet. Obviously I can never come back to Cuffingham, whatever happens. Even if they don’t throw away the key I imagine I’ll be put away for some time. The shop has been on the market for a while but it’ll probably take everything I own, everything I legally own, to pay my debts.’
Holly was surprised at this last. There was no For Sale sign and Steve, who might at one time have been the agent dealing with it, wasn’t there any longer to keep the rest informed.
‘Anyway, the sale seems to be going through. When they let me out I mean to go somewhere they don’t know what I’ve done and start again if I can. Maybe a little place near the centre where I go now. It’s been a lifeline to me.’
Gordon looked again at Holly, his eyes pleading for an understanding she was finding it so hard to give. What she did have was compassion.
‘Would you like me to talk to the others; tell them you’ve been here?’
‘I wouldn’t have asked you but yes, I’d be grateful if you could.’
‘Later, when it’s all over, let me know where you are, Gordon. Keep in touch.’
Relief was written all over him, on his face, in his posture as he stood up.
‘I’ll be going now.’ He drew an envelope from his inside pocket and handed it to Holly. ‘Please give this to Phoebe if you feel you can. I can’t take back what I’ve done but I want her to know how sorry I am that I let her down so badly.’
As she went with him to the door Holly could only think that the person he had let down most of all was himself. The first person Holly phoned was Phoebe though her instinct had been to call Adam. However, of all of them Phoebe was the one who had been most wronged and as such Holly thought she should be the first to know. The evening wasn’t so far advanced as to make it too late to ring and when she’d given her the details, Holly offered to drive over with Gordon’s note.
‘I’ll put the coffee on.’
It didn’t take Holly long to reach the Manor and, good as her word, Phoebe had the coffee waiting.
‘How did he look?’
‘Dreadful. I almost didn’t recognise him.’ Maybe a slight exaggeration but the change was profound. Phoebe was scanning Gordon’s message as they spoke.
‘Oh, Holly, this is awful. Poor Gordon. He obviously didn’t know which way to turn. Why on earth didn’t he come to me?’ She sounded quite cross.
‘Maybe he would have done if it hadn’t been for the fact that you were one of his victims; if it was only outsiders involved he might have. He was probably too ashamed. What does he say?’ Holly asked, having tried and failed to read upside down the sheet of paper Phoebe was holding on the coffee table in front of her.
‘It’s so sad, Holly. He says he knows I’ll never want to talk to him again; how much he always valued my friendship, all our friendships; that he feels as if he’s been cast adrift in an endless storm; that he’d like us to remember him as he used to be, before he got himself into so much trouble. Oh, Holly, we have to go to him.’
‘Well if you can forgive him I’m sure the rest of us can.’
‘I’ve been a member of this community all my life, Holly, and I’ve worked with people who have problems. Gordon is no worse and no better than anyone who’s got into trouble and can’t distance themselves enough to see the wood for the trees. Of course I’m hurt and of course it’s difficult. But it’s a sickness, Holly, and once you’re in its grip it isn’t quite as easy to get over as the common cold.’
Holly marvelled again at her friend. Here was a very special person. She hated to disappoint her.
‘I didn’t get an address from him. Just asked him to get in touch with me later, after the hearing. He did mention that he was in Wales.’
Phoebe smiled. ‘Trust me; I have connections. I’ll find him.’
Holly had no doubt she would.
***
It came as no surprise to either of them when the rest of the group made it clear that in spite of their disappointment they wanted to give Gordon all the support they could. Adam was relieved to find the cause was due to an illness, for that’s how they all regarded it, rather than the greed they’d initially thought. Good as her word, Phoebe was able to track Gordon down. Even Steve asked her to give the poor bastard his love when she went. He wanted to go with her but she told him gently she thought it best if she went alone.
The Sold board went up a few days later and once again it was Phoebe who first learned what was going to happen to Gordon’s old place.
‘Imogen!’
‘The very same.’
‘What on earth is she going to do with it? It’s huge. You’d need an awful lot of trinkets to fill a place that size.’
‘Furniture apparently. It’s what her parents do, wherever they live, and they’re helping to fund her now.’
‘Antiques?’
‘No, quite modern apparently but definitely upmarket. And she’s going to live over the shop so you’ll have a new near neighbour.’
Now that she knew Imogen and Adam weren’t dating Holly was looking forward to becoming better acquainted with this young woman who in her opinion seemed to embrace life with a smile. That she’d have felt differently if they’d been an item was something she chose not to question and she wasn’t yet prepared to face the reason why. She did find that she was thinking about Adam far more than she used to and that it didn’t have anything to do with Tubs.