Adam hadn’t been sure how Holly really felt when she’d talked about going back to the States. All he could see was that she had a promising future, one that didn’t include him, and that she was leaving again. He made a decision of his own, far more radical than the one Holly had made. Adam didn’t tell anyone about his decision, not yet – it was far too soon – but he began making enquiries to find out if there were any veterinary practices for sale away from Cuffingham.
It’s time you manned up, he told himself with no little emphasis. Holly is a grown woman and she doesn’t need protection from you all the time; that much is obvious and it’s time you accepted it. What was also obvious was that he didn’t want to spend his life in close proximity to the woman he loved if she didn’t love him back. Better to make a clean break entirely.
He would miss his friends, of course, but there had been so many changes over the past year or so that it wasn’t the same anyway. He was the only single guy left and there had been, or was about to be, such an influx of babies that people’s needs and priorities had changed.
Once he’d made up his mind he didn’t waste any time, and actually felt better for it. He may not be going to Australia as Steve had originally intended but he was definitely going to make a new start. Before Emma and Holly returned from London his investigations were well under way. There were two practical options for him to consider. One was a surgery where the present incumbent was retiring and the other was a partnership where expansion was taking place to accommodate a fast-growing practice. He looked into the details of both, having discarded several others as being unsuitable or too far from where he wanted to be, and decided it was time he took a holiday.
At least, that’s what he was going to tell everyone when he disappeared for two weeks to spend one in each of the locations, working in the practice to get a feel for it and checking out the surrounding areas. Neither was a million miles away from Cuffingham, both still being in the region though further north. No more than an hour’s drive away in real time but far enough away that he wouldn’t run into Holly practically every day of his life. Visiting his mother would be no problem and all in all it seemed to Adam to be the way forward for him.
‘So if you and Rachel could work half days each that would cover the period nicely.’
Rachel had already agreed and with his other locum eager to take on the extra work everything was falling into place very nicely. He had no intention of putting his own place up for sale until he was absolutely sure he’d found the right alternative. In one way he was in no hurry but in another he couldn’t get away fast enough. Not wanting to arouse any suspicions he behaved exactly as he normally did when Holly and Emma returned from the big smoke.
***
Adam’s behaviour towards her when she came home only confirmed in Holly’s mind that she’d made the right decision.
The Monday after she’d come home Holly was coming out of the hairdresser, where that lady had performed miracles on her unruly mop, when she bumped into Adam, whose strong arms managed to prevent her from falling over, as she would otherwise have done. She’d been trying to grow her hair longer but all that happened was the curls sprung tighter and the mass seemed to expand outwards without dropping onto her shoulders as she’d hoped it would do. Adam rubbed her head in what she took to be an affectionate brotherly sort of way.
‘That’s better. You were beginning to look like Worzel Gummidge.’
Holly managed with difficulty to hold back the tears that for two reasons sprang so quickly to her eyes. She was reminded immediately of their first meeting well over a year ago now, which bore no little resemblance to the current situation, except for the fierce anger of that occasion.
What upset her more though was the reference to the scarecrow, which made her remember the day they’d built a snowman in her garden. It had been one of the happiest times of her life; everything had been perfect that day. She still had the photo on her fridge, just as she’d said she would. Determined not to let him see her distress she replied promptly, ‘I needed to get it looking nice for my trip to Philadelphia. Can’t go there looking like a country yokel.’
***
It was Adam’s turn to be upset. Obviously she couldn’t wait to be gone. He changed the subject, asking if she wanted him to go with her when she walked Tubs later, acting as ever the friendly companion.
‘Great. I could take her now but I don’t want to upset her routine. She already seems somewhat mystified when I’m not in the shop every morning after we come back from our first walk. Not that I’m worried any more. I know she just curls up and goes to sleep when I’m not there.’
‘I’ll come round about five then. See you later.’
***
They were walking along the riverbank a few hours later and Adam was hard put not to tell Holly about his plans. Would she miss him? As a friend, yes, he was certain of that. But as anything else? He decided not to put it to the test. To avert this disaster he turned his attention and the conversation to her by now imminent trip across the pond, adding another brick in the wall between them.
Not to be outdone Holly waxed lyrical about her own plans and she seemed to be genuinely excited. It wasn’t as if it was going to be a hardship. Did what she was leaving behind hurt at all? Her enthusiasm wasn’t lost on Adam. He decided he’d been wise to keep his own counsel. It seemed she was destined to keep misunderstanding him.
***
Holly reached for her mobile to answer its insistent ring, sorry she hadn’t switched it to silent before they’d come out. Nobody else was around and the noise didn’t send birds to flight but it did jar the tranquillity of the late afternoon. She wasn’t sorry for long, though she was very upset.
‘Of course I’ll come. Have you called the doctor?’
‘Yes, he’s on his way and I’m in bed and Tom’s here. They haven’t lugged me off to hospital yet but, well, it’s more about the boys, and tomorrow.’
‘I’ll be right there. I’ll just drop Tubs off at home and come and collect them. Jake and Jamie can stay with me but they’ll have to share a bed. I’ve only got a double in the spare room.’
‘They’ll love that. Thanks, Holly. I’ll get Tom to put a few things together for them.’
Holly turned to Adam who didn’t bother to ask what was wrong. It was obvious from the half of the conversation he’d been able to hear.
‘She’s spotting. Hardly at all, she said, but you don’t ignore things like that, do you.’
‘Of course not. Don’t look so worried, Holly. It’s not uncommon and she should be fine if she does as she’s told and stays in bed.’
‘And you’d know all about it of course.’
‘Well it’s not that different.’
‘She’s a person, Adam, not a bloody horse!’
There was a somewhat chilly silence between them as they went home. Adam offered to take her over to Emma’s but she was so angry she said no and then, after he’d gone, regretted it. The twins were ready for her when she got there, excited to be staying with their godmother, something they’d never done before.
In the short time since Holly had spoken to Emma the doctor had been, prescribed bed rest, and left. She looked absolutely normal except for being in bed propped up by numerous pillows. Tom on the other hand was as white as the sheets that were tucked around his wife.
‘Are you all right for food? I grabbed something from the freezer when I dropped Tubs off at home. It’ll be fine if you pop it into the microwave, Tom. Just phone me if you need anything and I’ll go shopping after I drop the twins off at school tomorrow.’
‘What about the gallery?’
Holly turned away from Tom and looked sharply at her friend. ‘As if you had nothing else to worry about. I’m going to phone Sara as soon as I get home. She’s always saying she’d be happy to put in extra time if I need her. I know she isn’t doing any other work because she jumped at the chance to take over when I go to Philly.’
‘Philly! I’d forgotten!’
‘I can’t imagine why. I’d have thought it would be uppermost in your mind,’ Holly said smiling. ‘It’s not for another two weeks so you can stop worrying. If you still need me I’ll cancel but I’m sure you’ll be fine by then.’ Holly hoped she was right and Emma didn’t bother to argue. It would have been fruitless and she knew that her own health and that of the baby were the priority.
‘And after I’ve been shopping I’ll come over here so Tom can go to work if he needs to. From what you told me, the doctor said there’s no need for him to hang around. I can feed and water you as necessary. Is that okay with you, Tom,’ she said, turning back to her friend’s husband.
It was agreed that Tom would collect the twins from school next day, bring them home to see their mother and that Holly would then take them back to hers again for tea and to spend the night. He didn’t agree to go to work and nobody pressed him on it.
‘I’ll go down and tell them what’s happening and send them up to say goodnight to you. Don’t let them crawl all over the bed.’
***
Holly hadn’t had any house guests since she’d moved to Cuffingham and certainly two small boys weren’t exactly what she had in mind when she thought about entertaining. That said she had an enormous amount of fun with them, letting them help her with supper and allowing them to stay up a bit later than usual ‘as a special treat’ but the treat was probably as much hers as theirs.
She wondered how two seven-year-olds could possibly have greater manual dexterity than her but it was a fact. As they fell about laughing at her facial expressions when she tried so hard not to let the tower fall, she was satisfied the two games of their favourite Jenga had sufficiently entertained them. Bath time over, she tucked them both in, read them a story … then another one and elicited a promise that they would settle down and go to sleep or she’d put them in the kitchen in Tubs’s day bed the following night, something they found very amusing.
As she walked downstairs she reflected this might not have been the wisest thing to have said, but they must have been tired because she didn’t hear another peep from them until the morning.
She’d just finished packing their lunch boxes before settling down with what she reckoned was a well-deserved glass of wine when the phone rang.
‘It’s Adam. How is she?’
‘She seems okay. Tucked up in bed with strict orders to behave.’
For once they didn’t seem to have much to say to each other. What Adam didn’t know was that Holly was suffering agonies wondering if the trip to London had been the cause of Emma’s problem. It had been a pretty full-on visit and although Emma had insisted she was fine, was in fact the driving force when it came to trying just one more shop, and another after that, but Holly couldn’t help feeling guilty.
Who knew what caused these things? Why something should upset the balance? Certainly she didn’t. What she did know was that Emma had been like a woman driven. Could that be the reason? Was it in some way Holly’s fault, for not insisting they slow down? She couldn’t face the question because she couldn’t face the possible answer. So instead she turned on Adam, her pent-up emotions translating in her own mind that he’d likened their friend to one of his patients. He must have picked up the antipathy in her voice so, after hesitating for a moment, Adam said he’d phone the next day if that was all right.
‘Of course it is. I’ll tell her you called. Night.’
‘Night.’
She stared at the handset with dissatisfaction before laying it down. It seemed that they were further apart than they’d ever been.
***
Emma stabilised in the next few days but had strict instructions to take things easy. The twins stayed with Holly that first night, and the second as planned, but the short visits after school and the constant upheaval were causing their mother more distress than relief. Jake and Jamie were quite disappointed that their visit to Holly was cut short but luckily Emma wasn’t aware of that and the cuddles and hugs she got from them left nothing to be desired.
Sara continued to work at Art-e-Mis and Holly popped in and out during the day to get something to eat for Emma and bring her cups of tea. Unfortunately the patient was beginning to get a bit fidgety so it was decided, with the doctor’s permission, that she could come downstairs during the day as long as she stayed put with her feet up. With the television available and visitors popping in and out she became a much happier woman.
‘It’s lucky you have a large freezer, Holly.’
‘And that I enjoy batch cooking. It doesn’t seem worthwhile cooking here when there’s a mountain of food already available. I’d much sooner sit with you and catch up on the soaps.’
By the time Holly was due to leave for the States her freezer was practically empty. Emma was given the go-ahead to resume her normal activities as long as she didn’t overdo it, so the trip went ahead, with no little reluctance from Holly who was terrified something might happen while she was away.
‘In which case I shall have no hesitation in phoning and getting you back here, if for no other reason than that my family shouldn’t starve. I’m fine, Holly. Knock ’em out with those beautiful clothes we had such fun buying.’
***
With no Adam to take her to the airport this time, Holly booked a parking space and drove herself to Heathrow. The two had had little contact since Emma first became unwell. He, after phoning a few times to ask about Emma and getting short shrift, went around himself but only ran into Holly a couple of times. On the first occasion she disappeared into the kitchen, leaving him with the invalid, and on the second made an excuse to leave, as she had to get some shopping.
Clearly frustrated, he had run a hand through that gorgeous thick hair. Holly in this mood was apparently something he didn’t know how to deal with. If only he’d just taken her in his arms. But how was he to know? He was only a man after all, and one who’d been hurt before. The rift widened. If Emma noticed any strain between them she didn’t say.
As Holly parked the car, unloaded her baggage – the same that Kate had loaned her the first time – and wheeled it into the terminal building she couldn’t help remembering how nice it had been the last time when she’d had a man to help her. That and the fact that on this occasion she wasn’t as excited as she had been then, nor was she as nervous. Not blasé certainly but at least this time she had some idea of what to expect.
Not for her the companionable lunch with Adam, and he so concerned that all should go well for her. She pushed the thought aside. She wouldn’t allow herself to think about him. She jutted out her slightly pointed chin but it was a lonely soul who sat in the departure lounge waiting for her flight.