Phoebe

1.

Can’t you hear that?

You tilted your head, hand cupped

around your ear, eyes closed.

At such times your face

never registers disappointment.

A phoebe cannot sing to you. Fact.

The little gray and black

flycatcher introduced itself

to the rest of the evening.

2.

I wonder if I’ll ever love this house.

It isn’t necessary that I do.

Someone used to. Someone

loved every brick. Our first summer here

we gave our daughter the best room.

I loved that summer;

the phoebe nested under the eaves

outside her window. We didn’t paint

the west side till the young had fledged.

So many, and they all survived.

3.

What’s beautiful?

One thing: the way a phoebe

hovers just above the grass:

Wings! The sun-glow through

spread feathers.

To care so little about gravity

that the Palisades, the vertical cliffs,

are “safe as houses.”

4.

My father, when he was almost sixty,

began to plan his next life

which he filled with various jobs:

shrimp boat captain, staff writer

for the Dick Van Dyke Show,

hobo. In places like Chicago.

He’d never marry (no offense)

and he’d never join the army.

He’d never own a house.

Maybe just a mud and feather

nest somewhere for a summer,

then south in the fall.

5.

Certain sounds

are lost to you now, after years

near a hammer drill,

a Milwaukee Sawzall.

A phoebe calls: it’s not necessary,

like supper and sleep.

It’s a small tear in your shirt,

which you still wear.

It’s not a whole life in two notes,

is it? It’s not melodic.

It’s information, a windblown claim,

a drop of rain that soon dries,

a gray stone giving its heat

to the evening.