WEEK 6 ● Day 3

READ 2 SAMUEL 11:6-27

Yesterday we talked about what happens when we’re the one who is betrayed. But what about when we are the betrayer?

While in my twenties, I dated a guy who (behind closed doors) was emotionally and verbally abusive. I was so wounded that when a guy I worked with spoke kindness and encouragement over me, I didn’t know how to handle it. Instead of breaking up with my boyfriend, I cheated. The fact that I’m even saying this out loud to anyone other than my family and best friend means that the Lord has done a lot of hard work helping me heal from the incredible shame that surrounded that short yet destructive season of lies.

I was the betrayer, and it still pains me to have done what I always said I’d never do.

1. Have you ever betrayed someone’s trust? What was your internal and external response in that situation?

 

 

 

2. Has your heart healed from the devastation you caused, or are you still struggling with shame because of it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today in 2 Samuel, we look at David, this man who has spent so much time leaning into God and learning to depend on Him . . . now becoming the betrayer. Let’s unflinchingly look at this hard story. Each of us is susceptible to shame and sin that ends up hurting everyone around us.

3. What did David do in 2 Samuel 11? Write a T for True or F for False in each square:

• Was working hard doing exactly what he should as king
• Saw a beautiful woman bathing and immediately turned around, knowing he shouldn’t look, and desired instead to be a man above reproach
• Forced a married woman to sleep with him
• Was honest in his sin and immediately expressed remorse, asking for forgiveness
• Lied so many times it snowballed into something he didn’t know how to get out from under
• Had someone killed/murdered

David’s desperate attempt to smooth over this horrible situation only made matters worse as the lies compounded. Have you ever found yourself stuck in that kind of vicious cycle? I once watched a show where the wife made the husband meatloaf once a week for years upon years because when they were newly married, he had fibbed and told her how much he loved it. The funniest part? She hated meatloaf too. So for decades, they both gagged their way through a dinner they didn’t enjoy, fake smiling all the while.

4. What’s the problem with even small-seeming white lies?

 

 

 

 

 

5. Have you ever been stuck in a cycle of compounding lies? What was the impact on your life and relationships?

 

 

 

 

 

Just as David’s lies began to snowball, ours will too. We tell ourselves that a tiny lie isn’t a big deal —and little by little, we get comfortable with those tiny-seeming lies. Suddenly, bigger ones become okay as we justify to ourselves that they’re “not that bad.” Like the proverbial frog in the pot of water, we don’t notice that our surroundings are boiling until it’s too late.

If you’ve had a long day and just feel like staying in to watch a movie instead of wading through traffic and going to dinner with a friend as had been planned, a fib like “I’m sorry I can’t hang out tonight, I’m just not feeling well” may seem okay. But what’s the true heart behind such lies?

6. What’s the real reason you sometimes tell a mistruth? Check all that may apply:

• cowardice —the fear of hard conversations and confrontation;
• selfishness —the intentional or unintentional belief that what’s going on with you is more important than the effect your lie has on the other person’s life;
• perfectionism —the desire to make yourself appear a certain way;
• pride —the unwillingness to admit when you need help or when things aren’t going as well as you want others to think they are (a very close friend of perfectionism); and/or
• greed —doing what it takes to get what you want because of an overwhelming desire for more.

7. What other, deeper reasons tempt you to lie?

 

 

 

A few years ago, I heard a speaker tell the story of a man who had just gotten out of prison. Walking aimlessly, without a place to go or anyone to talk to, the man came to a church and decided to go inside. He quietly made his way up to the front pew and sat and stared at the Ten Commandments, which were written in beautiful gold paint behind the pulpit.

As he read, the commandments that used to feel like demands suddenly felt like kind promises. Rather than reading an accusatory “You shall NOT LIE!!!!!!” yelled over him, the man sensed a gentle assurance: “With Me, you shall not lie.” In other words, God opened his eyes to understand the heart behind the commands.

I am reminded once again that if David had been seeking God, this story of Bathsheba would never have been written. But because the king’s eyes wandered off his heavenly Father and onto a naked woman, and then onto self-preservation, things collapsed around him. God longed for him to choose differently —and how much different things would have been had David sought God’s heart and walked away from the darkness of deception and betrayal.

But even if, like David, we choose the path of pain and sin, that is not the end of the story. Actions are what we do —not who we are. We have lied; we are not a liar. We have deceived; we are not a deceiver. We can choose to walk away, to change our actions, to ask for God’s forgiveness and step into a life of truth, kindness, honesty, and peace —no matter how far gone we may feel. Because we’re never too far for God. Nothing —not even our sin —can keep us from His offer of love and forgiveness.

Ask God to surface any places in your life where you have allowed deception or betrayal to rule your actions. Pray that He would meet you in those places and walk with you into truth and repentence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amen.