WEEK 2 ● Day 3
READ PSALM 56
My husband and I have six kids: two biological “blondies” and four children from Ethiopia. As you can imagine, life is full and fun and full of laughter . . . but it’s also full of healing and trauma and loss.
As I mentioned earlier, my season of darkness that corresponded with writing this study was when one of our children decided he didn’t want to be in our family anymore. He’d been with us for several years, but his previous independent life as a street kid made it hard for him to comprehend what a healthy, loving family with rules, boundaries, and expectations looked like. He fought it and fought it until he walked away. Our son’s fear of losing control overruled, and he decided to take life on his own shoulders.
His story of moving through that time is his own to tell, but as we explore what it means to say yes in the darkness, I can say that my experience in that season resonates with the pain and fear we see from David in this week’s psalm.
1. As you read Psalm 56, underline the parts that stand out to you the most, jotting notes in the margin as to why they do.
1-4 Take my side, God —I’m getting kicked around,
stomped on every day.
Not a day goes by
but somebody beats me up;
They make it their duty
to beat me up.
When I get really afraid
I come to you in trust.
I’m proud to praise God;
fearless now, I trust in God.
What can mere mortals do?
5-6 They don’t let up —
they smear my reputation
and huddle to plot my collapse.
They gang up,
sneak together through the alleys
To take me by surprise,
wait their chance to get me.
7 Pay them back in evil!
Get angry, God!
Down with these people!
8 You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn
through the sleepless nights,
Each tear entered in your ledger,
each ache written in your book.
9 If my enemies run away,
turn tail when I yell at them,
Then I’ll know
that God is on my side.
10-11 I’m proud to praise God,
proud to praise GOD.
Fearless now, I trust in God;
what can mere mortals do to me?
12-13 God, you did everything you promised,
and I’m thanking you with all my heart.
You pulled me from the brink of death,
my feet from the cliff-edge of doom.
Now I stroll at leisure with God
in the sunlit fields of life.
Gah —I can sure relate to David’s psalm! I’ll bet you can too. If we read the first section of this psalm in the ESV, we see stark language like “enemy” and “attacker,” and that’s part of why this psalm hits home for me. In that hard season with my son, Satan was an ever-present assailant and adversary. I did feel trampled, oppressed, and attacked. I was being lied to and lied about, and I was overwhelmingly brokenhearted by it all.
2. Have you ever been in a situation that left you grappling with loss and darkness? What emotions did you wrestle with?
But even when we feel surrounded by enemies, spiritual or otherwise, this psalm points us to a larger truth: We are not forgotten or alone.
3. What does Psalm 56:8 (ESV) say about our tears?
4. What do you think that means? Why would God do such a thing?
God saves our tears because they’re important. The honest expression of our pain means something. The Creator of the universe recognizes that we’re struggling —and He loves us so much that He doesn’t toss our tears away. He keeps them close because He sees their value. He knows they came with a price. And He cares about how we feel, act, and endure.
You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book?
I’m not sure what the word tossings means —are you? Let’s head to the BLB and find out more about what is going on here. Go to Psalm 56:8, and click on Interlinear. Scroll down to find this portion of the verse.
This Interlinear section uses the phrase of my wanderings. Huh. Okay, wanderings is a little more clear than tossings. But let’s continue on, jumping further down the bunny trail.
5. Tap on nowd (נוֹד, pronounced node) and share defining words below:
Well, the definition isn’t illuminating much for us, right? Now what? Let’s head back, and instead of clicking on Interlinear, tap on Text Commentaries. Choose your own adventure and decide which commentary you’d like to read. Let’s see what theologians have to say about this section of our passage. (Just make sure that as you scroll down, you select one that says Psalm 56.)
6. Write the essence of what the commentary you chose says about verse 8:
These thoughts and insights are from
7. How does this explanation help you in the darkness of the struggle you shared above?
Our heavenly Father counts our wanderings. I love that. In fact, whenever I hear the word wandering, I immediately think of that famous line from The Lord of the Rings: “Not all those who wander are lost.”[1] I feel like it applies here perfectly. Though David probably felt lost, the Lord knew he wasn’t. “God numbered all the weary steps he took.”[2] And He numbers each weary step we take, as well. After my son left, when I thought my devastation would consume me, I needed to remember I was not alone in my pain and grief.
You’re not alone in yours, either.
God counts our wandering steps, He keeps our tears in a bottle, and He records it all in His “book of remembrance” (Malachi 3:16, ESV). He writes down all the details, all our circumstances, all our loves and losses. He pens the duration and how they will conclude . . . making notes on the whys and what He’d like us to learn through each experience. He writes it all down because nothing happens without His permission. Yes, even the hard stuff. Because somehow there’s strength, hope, and faith to be learned through it. God doesn’t cause suffering, but He does use our pain to change our perspective. As C. S. Lewis wrote, “Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”[3]
David’s time of running from Saul had a purpose, rousing him from a comfortable life and calling him into closer relationship with God. In fact, not long after this time in 1 Samuel, David’s trust and friendship with our heavenly Father took a dramatic turn. (We’ll talk more about that in the upcoming weeks.) But just remember —those steps you’re taking? He’s counting them. Those tears? He’s saving them. And each moment is being written in His book for a great and meaningful purpose. Find what that purpose is and cling to what He’s doing . . . as difficult as it may be in the moment.
Pray through the remembrance of a time you went through something incredibly hard —but now that you look back, you see that you needed to experience it. Or that the Lord brought something good from it. I’ll start it for you . . .
Lord, it didn’t make sense, and there were times
I was angry while wading through
the confusion and grief, but . . .
Amen.