A month passed, and Dinah forgot what it’d been like to be lonely. As promised, Baldwin had stayed with her. He didn’t talk of leaving, and when Donald left after talking to them every day before they had lunch, he didn’t leave when Donald did.
Baldwin would often play music for her. Then sometimes they would read a book together or sit in front of her favorite window and enjoy the warmth from the sunlight when it wasn’t raining. But she found even the rain didn’t bother her anymore. It used to make her sad. It had reminded her of teardrops. Her father had been buried while it was raining, and she recalled the sound of her mother and aunt crying. Ever since, she thought of them when it rained, and it made her miss her family with a deep ache that stayed with her for days. With Baldwin, she found the rain didn’t have the sting it once did.
The nights also stopped bothering her. She no longer felt the need to hide the knife under her pillow. She had tucked it into the drawer in the small table by her side of the bed. She also didn’t feel the need to keep a close eye on the door to make sure it was closed. She did, however, keep the drapes shut at night and checked each room before going to bed for the evening. Even if she felt more certain that this side of the manor was secure, she didn’t want to risk abandoning her routine.
One morning when she woke up, the room felt chillier than usual. She shivered and brought the blankets closer to her chin. When she realized Baldwin wasn’t with her, she lifted her head from the pillow and saw that he was putting wood into the fireplace.
“I forgot to wake up and put another log in,” he told her as he glanced her way.
“Hurry up and get back in here,” she teased. “I’m cold.”
He chuckled. “You think you’re cold. You ought to be over here.” He moved the log with the poker until the flames in the fire grew stronger.
“You’re in front of the warm fire. I doubt you’re worse off than I am.”
“I assure you my back is not warm.”
She took a moment to appreciate the way he looked without any clothes on as he knelt in front of the fireplace. She used to be nervous about looking directly at him, but she had grown bolder as she’d gotten accustomed to having him around.
He put the poker aside and stood up. With a shiver, he hurried back to the bed and slipped under the blankets. He brought her into his arms. She snuggled against him. His chest was nice and warm.
“You’re not cold,” she said.
“You should feel my back.” He took her hand and placed it behind him.
She shrieked and brought her hand back to his chest. “How did it get so cold in the room?”
“I told you. I forgot to put another log into the fire last night. We’re going to have to stay in bed longer this morning.”
“What about breakfast? It’ll get cold if we don’t bring it up.”
He shrugged. “I don’t mind cold eggs. I don’t want to get out of this bed until this room is warm enough for us to get dressed.”
“You know it’s going to be cold when we get to the library.”
“Yes, but we can eat in here this morning. I’ll start a fire in there so that it’ll be warm by the time we have lunch.”
“Yes, I suppose that will work.”
He kissed her. “How did you do this before I came here? Did you eat breakfast in the library while you waited for the fire to warm the room? Or did you keep the fire going in there through the night like you do in here?”
“I never kept the fire going through the night in any other room but this one.”
She wouldn’t have dreamt of doing such a thing. Once she closed the doors for the evening, she didn’t venture into those rooms until it was daylight. She might dare to make a bold move now that he was with her, but even then, she hesitated to do so. It was best to light a fire in the morning and wait for the room to warm up.
“There were a couple of times I ate in here,” she admitted, “but most of the time, I dressed warmly and then ate by the fire. It doesn’t take long for a room to be comfortable once a fire is going.”
“No, it doesn’t, but things warm up faster when you have someone with you.” He brought his hand to one of her breasts and cupped it. “Though, I will add that I wouldn’t do this with anyone else.”
“I hope not. I don’t like the idea of you being this way with another lady.”
“You’re the only one.” He kissed her again, and this time his lips lingered on hers.
His erection pressed into her abdomen, letting her know he wanted to make love to her. More than willing to comply, Dinah rolled onto her back and urged him to get on top of her.
She closed her eyes and focused on him, doing her best to memorize the way his hands and lips felt on her body. He took his time in making love to her. It wasn’t always this way. Sometimes he was more anxious in his movements, as if he needed her so much that he couldn’t wait. Then there were times, like this, when he seemed to have all the patience in the world.
Regardless of how fast or slow he was, he was mindful of her pleasure, and for that, she knew this wasn’t just an act meant to satisfy him. This was an act of love and devotion. It was easy to know he had no intention of ever leaving her when he made love to her. She was assured he would always be with her. Even after they were done, and she was in his arms, she felt that assurance. If it was up to her, she’d always be in his arms.
When they were both satisfied, she snuggled up to him and allowed the peaceful feeling to wrap itself around her.
“If we stay in bed any longer, we won’t get up until it’s time for lunch.” Despite Baldwin’s words, he only tightened his hold on her.
She smiled. “Something tells me you don’t mind waiting for lunch to eat.”
He chuckled. “You’re right. Besides, it’s nice and warm in this room now. There’s no reason to rush out into the cold hallway.”
“I’m in no hurry to leave this room.”
“Then we will stay here for a while longer.” He kissed her, and they settled into a comfortable silence.
***
Two mornings later, Dinah opened the drapes in the hallway and saw that it was snowing. Excited, she ran to the bedchamber Baldwin kept his instruments in. They had moved his clothes and grooming supplies to her bedchamber, and he spent every night in there with her, but he did keep his three instruments laid out on the bed in the room she had originally designated for him to sleep in.
“What are you in the mood for today?” he asked as he sorted through his sheet music. “The violin, the clarinet, or the bassoon?”
She thought about it and decided the bassoon was best suited for a snowy day. “The bassoon.” With a grin, she added, “It’s snowing.” She waved for him to leave the room. “Come and see.”
She left him and hurried back to the large window. She unlocked it and opened it. The chilly air swept into the hallway, but she ignored it and put her hand out to catch a few flakes.
“Hurry,” she called out. “I don’t think it’ll snow for long.”
He came out of the bedchamber with the bassoon and sheet music. He shivered but went to the window. “Why do you have the window open?”
“I want to feel the snow on my hands. It’s one of my favorite things to do when it’s winter. Do you like snow?”
“I suppose so. When I was a child, I used to go outside and play with it.”
Curious, she glanced at him as she reached out to catch more snow. “How do you play with snow?”
“Well, you’re playing with it right now. You’re letting the flakes melt on your hand.”
“I like to see them up close.” She brought her hand into the hall, and the large snowflakes quickly melted. “It’s just like in the book I have where the girl is looking at snow. The flakes are gone much too fast. I wish they lasted longer.”
He chuckled. “You wouldn’t say that if you were traveling on a day like this. Snow makes roads slippery.”
“It does?”
He nodded and gestured to the sheet music. “You haven’t heard this song yet. I think I’ll play this one today.”
“What is it like to travel?”
“Boring. You sit in a carriage all day. Getting to your destination is the good part.”
“Is it?” She turned her gaze to the open land. “I think it would be nice to travel. I read books that describe different kinds of land. Some are grassy and hilly. Others are dry and brown. Then there are things called mountains and oceans. I’ve seen pictures, but they’re all in black and white. It’s hard to imagine the colors the books say they are.”
He turned his attention from the sheet music and focused on her. “Are you saying you would like to leave this manor?”
Right away, she knew how foolish the idea was. As long as the creatures were out there, she had to stay inside. It wasn’t safe to be out there if one was a lady. She used to wish she’d been born a gentleman since her brother could go back and forth to London whenever he wished.
She shook her head. “No, I don’t want to leave. I just wonder what the books are describing. Some images are harder to imagine than others.”
He was silent for a moment then said, “We could go outside. We wouldn’t have to leave this estate. We could just take a walk. We could go outside while it’s still snowing. You’d get a better appreciation for snow if you were out there.”
She glanced at the trees that were along the property. She could never make out specifically what was in them, but that’s where the creatures liked to be. Her gaze went down the front of the manor, and she leaned forward. The distance was a good one. If she was by the manor, she would be able to see a creature if it left the trees. But even so…
“Is such a thing safe?” she asked.
His eyebrows furrowed. “Safe?”
“Will something bad happen to me if I go out there but stay close to the manor? Will something follow me inside?”
She could tell by his expression that he had no idea what she was referring to. And why would he? None of the creatures had come to him.
“Snow will get on your clothes, and sometimes you can track it into the manor if it gets on your boots,” he finally said, “but it’ll melt. The worst that will happen is that you get wet and cold. It’s perfectly safe.”
In other words, he couldn’t answer her question. Only Donald could. She should ask him.
“Would you like to go out?” he asked. “I’m more than happy to play this later.”
“Not now,” she replied and shut the window. “We should get something to eat.”
***
Dinah waited by the window when Donald came up with the two maids. As the maids and Baldwin went into the library, she looked out the window. The snow had stopped falling, but there was a layer of it on the ground. The sky was still cloudy. It might snow some more before the day was over.
She put her hand up to the window. What might it be like to hold a handful of snow? Would it be as cold as the windowpane, or would it be colder?
“I believe this is the first time you didn’t stare after your husband as he went into the library,” Donald said as he approached her. “Are you losing interest in him?”
“Not at all. I very much enjoy having him around.” She turned to him. “You don’t have to take him away from me.”
“I have no intention of doing that. You two are happy together. It would be cruel of me to take him away from here as long as the marriage is beneficial.”
“It is beneficial,” she said. “It will always be that way.”
He offered her a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “All right. You don’t have to look so frightened.”
He didn’t know about her nightmare the other night. In it, Donald had talked Baldwin into leaving. She ran after them as they were on their way to the other wing of the manor. She begged Donald to let him stay, but he’d turn to her and said, “He has no use anymore.” Then the two disappeared.
She shivered.
“You shouldn’t stand so close to the window,” Donald said. “You might get ill.”
That wasn’t why she shivered, but she didn’t want to tell him about her dream. She hadn’t even told Baldwin about it.
She cleared her throat. “Will you be going to London soon? It’s not like you to stay around here for so long.”
“I’ll go at some point, but I have too much to tend to here.”
“What do you need to do?”
“I’d explain it, but you wouldn’t understand. These are matters that pertain to the running of the estate. It’s much too complicated for a lady.”
Since she had no idea what he did to manage the estate, she settled for nodding. All she’d really wanted to know was if he would be leaving—without Baldwin—anyway. If he left without Baldwin, she wouldn’t have to wonder if Baldwin was going to leave her. Baldwin would be forced to stay here.
“Is that all that’s on your mind today?” Donald asked.
Recalling the snow, she shook her head. “I want to go outside. I want to pick up the snow and feel it in my hands. Baldwin said it would be all right. He can go with me. We’ll stay close to the manor. Those trees where the creatures live aren’t close to here.”
“Do you really think going outside is safe?”
“Well…” She turned her gaze back to the snow. A rabbit was jumping along the land, and she saw the tracks it left behind. There were no other tracks. “None of the creatures are near the manor right now. It’s daylight. They don’t like daylight. They only come out at night. Baldwin and I don’t have to stay out for long. We’d only be out there for a short time. Fifteen, maybe twenty minutes. And we’ll be quiet.”
“I know you two would be careful, but it’s still good to question the wisdom of this idea. You saw something up here when you were getting Baldwin’s bedchamber ready for him. You were terrified.”
“Yes, but it probably wasn’t a tooth from the creature. It had to be something else.” She still couldn’t fathom what it was, but the more she had time to think of it, the more convinced she was that she’d mistaken it for a tooth.
“I’m sure it was something else, too. It’s what I’ve thought all along. No creature has been in this manor since you were fourteen. That’s all been due to your diligence. Nothing bad has happened to you because you’ve been careful. In being careful, you’ve also protected Baldwin. You have more than yourself to think about.”
She sighed. “So a creature might take note of us?”
“I know it’s not what you want to hear, but any time you go outside, you risk getting their attention.”
“What if we go to the other side of the manor?” She glanced at the trees. “Those trees aren’t on the other side of the manor.”
Donald took a deep breath then slowly released it. She tried to figure out what he was thinking, but it was impossible. Unless he was smiling or frowning, she had the hardest time knowing what he thought. Perhaps if she’d been around people more, she might be able to detect the subtle nuances in a person’s face that would let her know what he was thinking.
After a long moment, Donald shrugged. “I can’t stop you if you want to do it. You will just have to decide what you care about most and make the decision.”
The underlying edge in his tone told her what his expression didn’t. He was upset with her.
Her face warmed as the urge to rebel and do what she wanted regardless of what he thought rose up within her. She wasn’t a child anymore, but he seemed to be treating her like one.
Without another word, he went to the library. This time, she followed him. He and Baldwin had been engaging in too many private conversations, and she didn’t like it. If they were going to talk about her, which she suspected to be the case, then she had a right to be there.
Donald spun around. “What are you doing?”
“I’m done looking out the window,” she replied. “I’m ready to eat.”
“I wish to speak with Baldwin in private.”
“About what?”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “I don’t care much for the insolence in your tone. Is this Baldwin’s influence? Is he telling you to go outside in the snow and risk getting caught by a creature? Is he telling you I don’t know what’s best for you even though I’m your older brother and have been watching after you ever since our father died?” Before she could answer, he took a step toward her and whispered, “Because if so, I will take him away from here.”
The warmth of her anger cooled at once, and in its place was the icy grip of fear. “No, you can’t. I want to be with him.”
“You have all day and all night to be alone with him. I only ask to speak alone with him for a few minutes during the day. Do you really think I’m being unreasonable by asking for that?”
When he put it like that, it made her feel like she was being unreasonable. Something inside of her screamed that she wasn’t. Something screamed at her that something was wrong. Something told her that Donald was the one who was being unreasonable. But she couldn’t put her finger on how, exactly, she was being manipulated. And without being able to pinpoint how, she was at a loss on knowing how to respond.
All she knew for certain was that she didn’t want Baldwin to go. So, she would have to do what her brother wanted.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ll go back to the window.”
Then, without looking at him, she hurried back to the spot she’d been at when he had arrived. She waited for several long seconds before she dared to look back. He was in the library.
She turned her gaze back to the window. The snow was still sparkling up at her, inviting her to go out and feel it in her hands. She put her hand up to the windowpane and checked for tracks other than the rabbit’s. There were none. No evidence that the creatures were out there.
It’s daylight. They only come out at night. Besides, you’ve never seen a creature in the daytime. You’ve only seen it at night, and that was when it snuck into this wing of the manor.
She would have to look out the window tomorrow morning and see if there were unfamiliar tracks in the snow. Then she would know if the creatures were really out there.
Really out there? Where had that thought come from?
You think Donald is lying to you about something.
She released her breath and pressed her forehead against the window. For the first time since that night she woke up with a creature by her bed, she felt trapped in this wing of the manor.