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The tears came unbidden, swarming from my eyes in the most annoying little bubbles. I swiped at them, but the harder I tried to push them away, the more came out. A part of me didn’t even know why I was crying so suddenly. Captain Saber’s words tipped me over that ledge I’d been so carefully balancing on, and into an abyss. Leaden tail weighing me down, I could do nothing but sink.
I lowered myself to the floor in the princess’ rooms, back leaning against the door as my heart betrayed me. Suddenly, it was all very overwhelming, crashing over me like a tidal wave. Doubts were but whispers in the deepest parts of my mind, growing louder now. Fast moving images like recordings from a conch bubbling. The marriage contract. Elias. The swing of an ax. Captain Saber. Odele. Prince Kai.
You are like the princess...
Elias. Kai. Tiberius.
“Gah!” I shot up and paced the room desperately trying to remove the thoughts that currently plagued me by the dozen. At the tip of that overwhelming peak were them.
Elias.
Kai.
Tiberius.
My body was a treacherous shell of a thing, and instead of being hollow inside, empty, my blood flowed and my heart pounded, my mind pulsed with thoughts of them.
Elias was my honesty. My greatest secret and my greatest truth. We were the same, him and I, or at least, the opposite sides of the same tarnished coin. Poor, longing for a better tomorrow, for a day when the waters of Thalassar no longer ran on currents of blood. We were matching blades set with different stones.
Prince Kai... My heart pounded just thinking of him. Dangerously beautiful. Like capturing the image of an erupting volcano. I’d be damned if I got too close to the heat of the Dragon Prince, but damned if I didn’t want to find myself trapped in the steel lock of his jaws. He was an impossibility. Because he had a duty to his kingdom to save them by marrying a princess. I was but an imposter longing for the greatest jewel of all in the dragon’s den.
And Tiberius... He was the hatred in the swing of my blade. The danger and the beauty that went hand-in-hand in the making of a weapon. The line separating enemy from friend was unclear. I could not deny that I saw something in him. Maybe it was just an illusion. Maybe I just saw what I wanted to see, but there was a goodness in him, just past a surface that I dared not scratch. Lest I find my heart falling into the betrayal of feeling something other than hatred for a royal soldier.
It wasn’t hard to fathom why all of these mermen invaded my thoughts—my heart. It was quite possible that I cared for them all. I mean, the proof was in the beating of my heart and the tears I shed. But it didn’t matter what I felt. Not for the Black Blade, not for the Dragon Prince, and certainly not for an infuriating captain. In the end, I would leave them all behind.
I went into the closet after barricading the door with a chair. Stripping down completely, I went for a simple camisole and nightgown. The material slipped over my body, hugging me like a second skin. That was all I donned before I made my way over to the tapestry, went through it, then the tunnel, and into the cove.
Ominous quiet greeted me. A light below beckoned, so I followed the soft glow of lava. But down by the cavern’s floor, the couch was empty, and there was no sign of Elias.
I picked up a globe, held the heavy weight of the cold orb in my hand, and turned slowly.
“Elias?” My voice echoed against the walls. That echo was my only reply.
Panic wrestled into the center of my chest. He was gone? How could he be?
A gasp tore from my throat. Had the royal guards found him somehow? I discarded that thought. If soldiers had found him in here, they likely would have awaited my return to arrest me for aiding him if they knew whose rooms this cavern led up to.
No, perhaps he’d foolishly gone out, thinking I would be none the wiser. He had left a conch playing on the recorder. I swam closer to the device. A conch sat mouth-down upon it. It twirled and twirled, but no image seemed to flow from it. I placed my hand over it, moving it slightly to fit on the centerpiece. As soon as I did, bubbles rose into a soft recording glow of gold.
I took a stroke back, eyes widening as Elias’ image appeared on the recording.
I’d never seen him in a recording before. It was strange to see his lively face a little devoid of color, like a phantom wisp of silver around his edges. He was looking into the conch record, but I felt like he was looking at me.
“Little fish,” he breathed, his voice strange and echoing. “Forgive me...” I lowered myself onto the couch, keeping my hands clasped tightly in my lap. “I should have waited for you to get back to say goodbye, but I couldn’t.” A pause. He ran a hand through his hair, and I swore he almost looked remorseful. “We both have things to do. I’m off to see some of my contacts...” Another pause. He was cautious about giving away too much, in case this conch fell into the wrong hands. “We will see each other again, little fish, but do not come looking for me.” His eyes looked up at me, and I swore I could feel his commanding presence in the room with me. “Goodbye.”
The bubble burst and fell into a tiny dusting of silver and gold, the device stopped turning, and only the quiet followed.
No tears came, and my heart didn’t break. Where sorrow should be, instead there was an unending loneliness, and a lack of surprise.
What had I expected? Elias was not a pet. He couldn’t have stayed here forever. He was the Black Blade. The merman of whispers and shadows. I shouldn’t have been surprised that the merman of shadows had slipped away into the night, leaving nothing but the trace of his darkness behind.
I ignored the rest of my duties that day. Even when Percival, servants, and guards came knocking, I called out from the confines of my room that I was feeling unwell. Of course, royal medics were rushed down, and they too went ignored.
Officially alone, I wallowed in words I’d wanted to forget. You are more like the princess than you know. Wear a face that wasn’t yours long enough and you became the one you were impersonating.
But I didn’t want to be like her. I realized, even as I told myself this, that Captain Saber had been right.
I’d possibly torn apart a friendship in Odele’s cousins. I’d been rude to the captain. And worst of all, I’d done nothing to help the mer of Thalassar escape the shackles of Selection. And how could I help them? I was in over my head. Why had I even thought I’d be able to do this? I was no closer to discovering secrets or saving anyone than I had been when I first started this whole charade. I was no closer to getting answers and no closer to the queen or her council.
Odele had worked to get everyone in her court to hate and mistrust her. The only problem was that I was now on the receiving end of it. No one would ever take me seriously because of her, and everything I’d wanted to accomplish would be for naught.
With that knowledge, I went to sleep and didn’t wake up till morning.
It was a knocking at the door that woke me. I tumbled out of bed, still half asleep and unaware of the hour. It was harder to tell in salt waters because of the depth and lack of sun or moonlight.
Rubbing my eyes, I reached for the handle and yanked it open. I was halfway through a yawn when he said, “Princess, I hope I didn’t wake you.”
My face heated into tones I couldn’t imagine. Hair floated towards my yawning mouth which I almost inadvertently swallowed. I spat the strands out and sputtered, “Prince Kai!”
He floated demurely before me. No longer did his eyes gleam with the promise of danger and adventure. His brown eyes were set intently on me, roaming from my mouth all the way down my body.
It was then that I recalled what I wore.
A thin nightgown that left nothing to the imagination. The material was see-through, and my breasts pressed against it.
With a groan, I covered myself, crossing my arms over my chest. The prince’s eyes followed the movement down there. He raised an eyebrow ever so slightly before his eyes found mine again.
His posture made it seem like he was unaffected, but the blush that suddenly sprouted on the height of his cheekbones told me otherwise.
“Prince Kai.” My voice betrayed the nervousness I was suddenly feeling. “Is there something you required?”
He was trying really hard not to look down the length of my body. I could tell. “Princess...” His voice came out in a breathy rasp. “Today our schedules coincide, and I thought we could ride around Eramaea. I’m still relatively new to your city and I thought a... tour...” His eyes wandered down, then back up. Like his gaze was being pulled over every inch of me by its own volition. His face flushed even more.
“Sounds great!” I took a stroke back, grabbing the door and easing it closed. “Let me just get dressed, yeah?”
His eyes were once again glued to my body. He tore his gaze away long enough to nod. With that acquiescence, I slammed the door closed and let out a soft screech of mortification.
Oh. My. Gods.
The prince had nearly seen me naked. I may as well have been with this nightgown. I yanked it over my shoulders and tossed it into a bundle on the floor. I’d thoroughly embarrassed myself in front of the Dragon Prince. Again.
And he wanted me to take him out on a tour of Eramaea, I thought bewilderedly, as I pulled out a dress from the closet. It was bright yellow. I didn’t even know anything about the city. It was as foreign to me as his own kingdom was. In all my life I’d never been out of Lagoona until the day Captain Saber had recruited me.
I yanked the dress over my head and smoothed it down my tail. I didn’t notice much about it except it was a tuft of material with long sheer sleeves. Running my fingers through my hair, I pulled it behind my neck in a chignon.
I took a look at myself in the mirror. I supposed I looked decent, though not entirely royal. It was... simple. No jewelry adorned my neck or ears, my wrists were bare, and I’d never felt less like a royal than I did at that moment.
It’s not like it mattered one way or another. I wasn’t making a difference pretending to be her, nor would I make a difference pretending to be myself.
After everything appeared to be tucked into place, I took a deep, calming breath and went to the door.
Prince Kai wasn’t waiting for me. One of his advisors was there, as well as a group of my own guards and his.
“We’re to escort you to the stables.” Kai’s advisor bowed to me. It was still bewildering that mer bowed, when everyone here was likely higher ranked than I was.
They led me down to the stables where Prince Kai was smoothing down the mane of a hippocampus tethered to a shell carriage.
He was staggeringly beautiful and a little out of place next to the fuchsia hippocampus. Red robes flowed from his body, embroidered with a gold and black dragon as well as a pattern of flowers. A black sash was tied tightly around his waist. There was a theme to his clothing that breathed elegance and power.
“Ready, Princess?”
He was looking at me with intent. Gone was the blush from his cheeks. In his eyes, there was a glow, so brief it seemed I’d imagined it. He gave me a smile that was both warm and cold yet innately his own.
“Of course.” A smile is what I gave, hoping he couldn’t see the nervous quiver in my lower lip.
His gaze went there for the briefest of seconds. Thankfully, he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he took my hand, bent over it, and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. Immediately, a feeling I’d grown accustomed to surfaced. Of nerves and a fluttering in my stomach and my heart.
“After you.” He helped me onto the carriage, an enormous shell that closed off at the top in a curve. I would have preferred an open carriage but didn’t argue as I sat in the soft cushioning. Kai settled in beside me, and at the snap of a whip, the two hippocampi took off at a steady swim.
My eyes stayed on the flicking of their long, serpentine tails. The beasts still unnerved me.
Kai pulled my attention back to him easily enough. “Where would you like to go?”
His question made my fingers tighten in my lap. I knew nothing of Eramaea. Nothing except that brief tour I’d been given by the Black Blade. Was it wrong, somehow, to take Kai to a place that could easily be deemed mine and Elias’?
I didn’t have a choice.
I stuck my head from the carriage space window and gave the brisk command to the driver. He snapped the reins as I pulled my head back in.
The rest of the way was spent in companionable silence. Words were on the tip of his tongue. I caught him looking at me with yearning, though it was obvious he was unsure on how to bring up a conversation.
Finally, he spoke, but his voice was solemn. “I heard you were inquiring about marriage contracts. More specifically, our marriage contract...”
Freezing, I tried to steady my sudden labored breathing. Gods. This was why I hadn’t wanted his guards trailing after me. What had they told him? Probably everything. I could only hope that he didn’t want to go to war because of my desperate inquiries.
“Princess?”
I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. My hands were clasped tightly in my lap, my back rigid straight. My heart jumped, and jumped.
“Do you wish to break our marriage contract?” he asked coolly, darkly, and in his voice I heard the traces of the dragon. Something dangerous that lived within him, that I’d caught glimpses of in passing.
Instead of answering, I looked out the window and saw we were in the same park I’d been at with Elias a few days ago.
“You can stop here, please!” I ordered the driver quickly. He pulled the beasts to a halt. I didn’t want to wait for Kai to hand me down, but he beat me to it, opening the door and swimming down. Instead of offering me his hand, though, he reached up in the floating carriage and grabbed me around the waist. He lifted me down easily. I had to hold on to his shoulders for extra support, in case my fin gave out and I fell.
When we were both steady near the ground, I found I could scarcely move. We stayed like that, hands on waist and shoulders. I could feel the water leaving my lungs, along with any traces of courage I might’ve had left. He was looking at me with that gleam of danger in his eyes. Still he didn’t let go, almost as if he was awaiting my answer and wouldn’t release me until I gave it.
An answer I couldn’t give him with honesty. I couldn’t tell him why I was really interested in the marriage contract, not without divulging every little thing. Who I was, and why I was here.
I let out the slowest of breaths. “I don’t wish to end our marriage contract.”
That seemed to be all the answer he needed, because his fingers slid slowly across my waist, a branding all on its own, and he smiled. “Good.” He bent down so that our faces were but mere centimeters apart. So close, our lips nearly touched. “Because I have no plans of ever giving you up.”
If only he knew. He would have no choice but to give me up, in the end.
Before I could say anything I might soon regret, I turned away from him, palms missing the heat of his touch as soon as I let go. “You don’t even know me...” I swam forward and Kai followed. Our guards fanned out all around us, keeping at bay the crowd that had suddenly formed to watch the both of us. Self conscious, I tried not to fiddle with my body or clothes. What a sight I must be next to the beautiful Prince Kai.
“You couldn’t be more mistaken.” His voice was at my ear, causing my fins to curl. I turned, throwing him a look over my shoulder. He ignored me and came over to my side. “What would you like to do today, Princess? I confess, I’ve not seen much of your city since I arrived.”
Neither had I. I glanced around the park. While children still played with their parents and schools of fish passed overhead, there was still a crowd forming. This wouldn’t be the most private of dates, but one look at Prince Kai told me that he was used to the attention. I’d just have to push through it myself.
A smile broke out on my face as I caught sight of a street vendor. I gripped the sleeve of his robes and pointed. “Want to try some real food?”
His response was to take my hand. It was so natural a movement, our fingers threading through the empty spaces. I tugged on his hand, heart thumping, as we went up to the vendor.
His stand was a shabby thing, but the food displayed there looked delectable. Crispy snakes and shrimp, with kelp and greens.
I inhaled deeply and smiled. “Can we have two please?”
The mer behind the stand sputtered, eyes widening. “Your Majesties!” He bowed so deeply, his forehead nearly touched the silt. “What an honor!”
My face flushed. This was all so new. Kai didn’t miss a beat. He held up his fingers, the ones that weren’t clasped in my own. “Two, please.”
The merman fumbled to skewer the food onto the long bill of a swordfish to form a kabob. Nervously, with shaking fingers, he handed them to us.
“Have you ever tried one of these before?” I asked Kai, turning to him. I was aware that the vendor was taking in the scene with curious, elated eyes. My sole focus was on the Prince of Draconi, and his curious expression as he took the food in.
“I haven’t,” he admitted somberly. He brought the kabob up to his nose and gave a delicate sniff.
“Consider it your initiation into Thalassar,” I joked, bopping the end of my kabob to his. Then, I took a ferocious bite, savoring the explosion of decadent tastes swirling on my tongue. I barely held back my moan. “This is so good!” It wasn’t princess-like to talk with a full mouth, but the food was just too good.
Kai took a bite, albeit a much smaller one than mine. I watched, waiting for his reaction. His eyes widened. “It is very good.” He took another bite with much more enthusiasm.
“The future queen and king like my food,” the merman breathed with astonishment.
I flipped him a thumbs up but continued digging into my food, Kai doing the same. Though we were being watched and trailed by guards, this almost felt normal. Like we were just two regular mer having a good time in the light of the waters.
When we finished, we discarded the garbage into a fisherman’s net hanging from a hook on the side of his table.
“That was fantastic,” I complimented the vendor.
He looked like he would burst on the spot. How something so little as a compliment could make the mer look this way. Happiness lit up his every feature.
“You may seek payment with my advisors.” Kai pointed over his shoulder, where I was sure his advisors were watching us with rapt attention and disapproving stares.
Kai tugged on my hand and pulled me away from the stand. We swam, mer following us. It wasn’t proper for us to swim together like this. Without a proper chaperone other than our guards, with our hands close together, and through the streets of Eramaea.
Neither of us seemed to care.
Because as the hours went on, and we continued to swim, try foods, and make idle conversation, it seemed like an empty void between us was filling with something I could not quite describe.