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I could not let her go. Not when she wanted to fall apart. I was the only thing keeping her together. If I could loan her my strength, I’d give her every last ounce of it, if only to see that look wiped from her face.
Prince Kai was rushed to the palace ahead of us and into his rooms, where royal medics were ushered in to tend to the wound he’d sustained protecting Maisie. An arrow tipped with poison, poison that had been aimed at the back of Maisie’s head.
This was the third attempt on her life. The one behind it all was becoming bolder, or desperate. But why? Why would anyone want Maisie—or Odele—dead? Her life had never been in peril before, not in any obvious way, at least.
And now Prince Kai’s life was in jeopardy because of it.
I ordered guards about the palace, posting them at every entrance and every door. There would not be another attempt on her life. Not while I still drew breath.
I opened the doors to her room and guided her inside, closing it behind me. Guards awaited my orders on the other side of her chambers. Inside, with privacy, Maisie finally crumpled to the floor. Sobs racked her shoulders up and down. She didn’t care that I was there, that I was watching every move she made. She didn’t worry about repercussions, about my judgments, but cried freely in front of me.
“This is my fault!” She dug her nails into the quartz floors, causing them to crack and bleed. “Someone is trying to kill me, and because of me, Kai was hurt. He could d-die!”
I pushed myself away from the door and sank to the floor beside her. There was no hesitation in me as I pulled her into my arms. She went willingly, her body curling onto mine. I held her tightly, rubbing circles across her back.
“No, Maisie.” I tightened my arms around her. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Comforting someone was unfamiliar, and yet somehow it came so naturally. So many times I’d wanted to gift this, a shoulder to cry on, a word to lift spirits. There’d been no opportunity. How could there be? Princess Odele pushed me away every time I tried. So I’d given up. I’d hardened my heart, my soul, until I knew nothing but strength and quiet and anger.
To see Maisie this way was... crippling. It changed me. It hurt.
Yes, I compared them, a habit that was hard to break. I knew what Maisie was, saw all of her faults. I knew her, and so I knew that she was not weak. Not like Odele was weak. Maisie would never give up. She was righteous and kind in a way that had eluded Odele for so long.
It was only in this moment that I realized that what Maisie lacked, she made up for in other things. Stronger things. Like her desire to tear through the barricade of guards to reach Prince Kai. Her unwavering loyalty. The tears she shed for something that wasn’t her fault.
She wept in my arms and clung to me as if I was the only one able to give her comfort. So I held her just a bit tighter and murmured just a bit gentler until her sobbing ceased, and all she did was shudder against my body. It was then that her mind seemed to clear, and she realized just who was holding her.
She pulled away, prying her body away from mine until there was space between us. She swiped at her eyes, but no amount of scrubbing would hide the puffiness, the evidence of her turmoil. When she looked at me again, it was with a hardened expression.
“That wasn’t very princess-like.” She barked out a bitter laugh and got up from the floor, straightening her clothes. She assumed a straight-backed posture, tilted her head up. The perfect image of royalty. Just as I taught her. She looked down at me. “Thank you, Captain, but I am afraid you must leave.”
I got up slowly. “Maisie...” It was hard to admit that I was worried about her. Worried she would break again, and that she wouldn’t let me pick up the pieces.
“I’m sorry, Captain. I shouldn’t have done that. Rest assured it won’t happen again.”
What if I wanted it to happen again? What if I wanted to hold her and offer a brief comfort from the reality and death that plagued her? I shouldn’t want such liberties, not with her. But the moment I’d seen her cornered by death, something in me shifted.
And things I should have realized sooner were suddenly as clear as crystal in my mind.
“Maisie...”
Her eyes narrowed. “You are dismissed, Captain.”
My throat tightened with unspoken words I desperately wanted to say. Somehow, none of them came out. I swallowed, nodded, and bowed to the mer who had become a royal right before my eyes. It’s what I’d trained her for. To be cold. To be like Odele. Now that she was, something about it just didn’t swim right.
“As you wish, Your Majesty.”
Turning stiffly, I left the room. She didn’t stop me. She didn’t say a word or call after me as I closed the door. My hands tightened into fists. I longed to drive them through something. To pummel someone. My mind whirled.
All I could see was that arrow zooming towards Maisie. How I’d been too slow to get to her. If I hadn’t angered her, I would have been at her side, but I’d stayed behind in the shadows so she wouldn’t see me. So she would not be blinded by her anger again. In my mind, I saw the arc of the blade intended for Prince Kai’s heart.
He’d protected her in a way I couldn’t. I wanted to despise him for it. A prince was a better guard than me. I was breaking my promise to Maisie. The promise where I said I’d protect her like I couldn’t protect Odele.
What was I good for if not for this?
Anger pushing my tail, I turned through the hallways and made my way towards Prince Kai’s rooms. I knew this wasn’t the time for this. He could be on the brink of death, and I still pushed on.
Outside of his doors were the guards I’d posted there. They saluted me, but I found myself ignoring them as I rapped once on the prince’s chambers and opened the door.
It was a breach of etiquette, but this was an emergency.
It was dragon fury within the room.
A blur of bodies fighting, screams that were guttural, more beast than mer. Transfixed, I watched as Draconian advisors attempted to restrain their prince. He thrashed his tail, bucking and fighting against them and the medics. Blood flowed from his wound in thin tendrils. The poison was making him delirious.
I knew there had been something strange about him, this foreign prince. His demeanor was calm, almost too calm. Like he had a restraint on his inner madness. Here was the proof.
The prince stopped thrashing and there was an eerie silence. Slowly, creepily, Prince Kai turned his head to look at me. Madness rested in his eyes. A beast waiting to pounce. He saw me and smiled. The twist of his lips was rather alarming.
“Captain,” he purred. “What brings you to my rooms?” The voice didn’t seem like his own. It was the same voice he’d used at the park. Deep. Threatening. Like a whole new entity resided at the back of his throat.
“His Majesty is suffering from the effects of the poison,” a medic chimed in breathlessly. “He might say... things... and he refuses his medicine.”
The prince let out a low rumble that emanated from deep in his chest. He sat up in his ivory shell bed, pushing aside his guards with annoyance.
“What do you want, Captain?” He leaned forward, pressing his forearms against the bend in his tail. There was a dangerous gleam in his eye, a hungry look there.
I went deeper into the room. The scents of the place tingling my nostrils. It smelt like heat. Like medicine, and something else. “Why?” It was one question. One he understood. One I didn’t need to elaborate on.
Maybe because we both knew the answer.
The prince raised an amused, delicate brow. “Why wouldn’t I? She is my betrothed, after all.”
No, she isn’t. My fists tightened, and his eyes followed the movement before flicking back up to my face. A smile twisted his features.
I wanted to hate him. Perhaps a part of me already did because of who he was and who he had. The one mer in the world who could never be mine. And because he no longer had her, but the one he so obviously wanted wasn’t even a royal at all, and he hadn’t even noticed.
“Have you come to presume my feelings again, Captain Saber?” He leaned back in the cushioning of his bed, and winced. More blood flowed. He closed his eyes, silent for a long moment. When he finally did speak, his voice no longer held dragon fury. “I know why you are so angry with me, Captain.”
My eyebrows rose. His voice was becoming a whisper; he appeared to be in a dream-like state.
He opened his eyes, and they were feverish. “I pondered on it for a while, when I realized why.” He chuckled. “So obvious... the Captain of the Royal Guard is in love with the princess, too.”
My blood ran cold as he laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Until his laughter became coughing, and his eyes rolled to the back of his head until nothing was visible but the whites. Prince Kai’s entire body began to tremble, and his advisors and the medics scrambled to get to him, forcing a tonic down his throat.
I swam backwards, shocked at the sight before me, his words ringing in my mind. My back hit the door, and I fumbled with the knob. Prince Kai was gasping for water now, his whole body seizing.
You’re in love with the princess, too.
My eyes squeezed closed. I did not love the princess. Because the princess was really Maisie. And Maisie was someone I could never love.
When I opened them, I gasped out. “No, I’m not.”
But my words fell on deaf ears.
He wouldn’t have listened anyway. He’d come to his own conclusions, conclusions that were ridiculous, and yet they pained me. I realized then and there the impossibilities. The actions had been louder than any words he ever could have spoken. That Prince Kai loved Maisie in a way he never could have loved Odele.
No one heard or saw me leave.