VAN GOGH, VINCENT
Vincent van Gogh’s mother painted all of his best
things. The famous mailed decapitated ear was a figment of the
public relations firm engaged by van Gogh’s dealer.
ROY BLOUNT, JR.
VCR
I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I
like about television is its ephemerality.
P. J. O’ROURKE
VEGETABLES
I have no truck with lettuce, cabbage, and similar
chlorophyll. Any dietician will tell you that a running foot of
apple strudel contains four times the vitamins of a bushel of
beans.
S. J. PERELMAN
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of
purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
FRAN LEBOWITZ
VEGETARIANS
Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat
that they can be classified as cannibals.
FINLEY PETER DUNNE
VICE
My only aversion to vice, Is the price.
VICTOR BUONO
He hasn’t a single redeeming vice.
OSCAR WILDE
VIOLIN VS. VIOLA
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a
viola burns longer.
VICTOR BORGE
VIRGINITY
Virginity is the ideal of those who want to
deflower.
KARL KRAUS
VIRGIN MARY
If I had been the Virgin Mary, I would have said
“No.”
STEVIE SMITH
VIRTUE
Virtue is insufficient temptation.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.
MARK TWAIN
Woman’s virtue is man’s greatest invention.
CORNELIA OTIS SKINNER
The love of money is the root of all virtue.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
Virtue is its own punishment.
ANEURIN BEVAN
What men call social virtues, good fellowship, is
commonly but the virtue of pigs in a litter, which lie close
together to keep each other warm.
HENRY DAVID THOREAU
What is virtue but the trades unionism of the
married?
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
VOTING
Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and
free than Christianity has made them good.
H. L. MENCKEN
I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
W. C. FIELDS
VOX POPULI
Vox Populi, vox humbug.
WILLIAM TECUMSEH SHERMAN