“OKAY, BUT IT STILL DOESN’T make sense.” Andrews stood about ten feet from his desk, looking like he was ready to argue the existence of gravity. Stacks of loose papers and manila folders were piled on the floor and his chair, but the surface of the desk was completely clear.

“It does. Just watch for a minute.” Jesse held a half-drunk bottle of Dr. Pepper between his thumb and index finger.

Nate watched from the doorway as he swung the bottle back and forth a couple of times before releasing it in a gentle arc through the air. It made one full rotation before landing with a thunk, right side up on the desk. Manny and Stevens cheered and Andrews looked like he was trying to figure his way through a magic trick. One of those saw someone in half or stab them with sabers kind.

“You try. Slowly.” Jesse held his hands up in front of him. “You’re lucky the last one didn’t break. You’re not supposed to throw it at the desk. Emerson’s gonna be pissed if you get his floor sticky.”

“That’s Mr. Southerland to you.” Andrews gave the kid the side eye, but it was a good-natured gesture.

Instead of meeting the comment with attitude, the kid grinned at him, ducking his head slightly in a gesture that managed to make him look both older and younger at the same time. Or younger might be wrong. Maybe it was more innocent, less prone to rage. Following the Southerland Security guys around had helped him lose almost all his wanna-be thug attitude. Partly because no one there was willing to put up with it, but maybe more importantly—because the reason he’d been copping it was gone.

Nate could tell almost from the beginning: the kid was looking for somewhere to belong. Making himself a family he’d never had. His mother Camille loved him and made him her priority, but there was only so much she could do on her own. In some ways, it reminded him of growing up with his gran. She’d done everything she could to look out for him, but in the end, when he was old enough, he’d gone off to find a tribe for himself.

For Nate, it had been his brothers-in-arms. For Jesse, it had been the dumbass thugs dealing drugs and playing with guns in the alley. They were barely more than kids themselves but as dangerous as a baby copperhead—and for similar reasons. They didn’t have the sense of proportion or the experience to know not everything was best met with violence. There wasn’t really anything Nate could do about that, but he’d never stop being grateful to Gabe and the other guys for giving Jesse a chance. And to the kid himself for being willing to take it.

Andrews muttered something that sounded a lot like I got this before tossing his half-empty bottle through the air. Instead of making an arc like the kid’s and landing on its bottom, it hit the edge of the desk and bounced off and onto the floor.

Andrews let out a stream of curses that would make a sailor proud, and the kid laughed so hard he doubled over.

“Seriously?” Nate stepped into the room, shaking his head at Andrews. The kid’s laughter had died down to a wheeze, but he was still having trouble standing up straight. Every couple of seconds, his shoulders would hunch, and he’d start all over again.

“You think it’s so easy?” Andrews shot him a look. “You try it.”

“Honestly, we’re supposed to be better than this,” he said, but he picked up Andrews’s bottle from its spot on the floor and went to stand where the kid had been standing when he made his throw.

Hedging his bets, Nate took two steps back, stretched his arms out to the side and paused for dramatic effect. Stevens hooted while Manny made drumroll sounds. He gave the bottle a few practice swings, feeling the weight of it in his fingers and then let go. The bottle sailed through the air in a graceful arc, making one complete turn before landing with a satisfying thunk on the edge of the desk.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” said Andrews.

Jesse put his hands in front of his mouth before letting out a long O and dancing in place. He looked even younger than before, and Nate crossed the distance between them, offering his fist for a bump.

“Where the hell do you learn how to do that?” asked Andrews.

“You’re kidding, right? It’s not like it’s hard.” Nate smirked at the other man and neglected to mention the hours he’d spent flinging bottles at his coffee table after he saw the video on YouTube. That was a sure-fire way to go from awesome to geek.

“Whatever.” He shook his head in disgust and then pulled himself up straight. His expression shifted from joy to discomfort so fast, Nate couldn’t tell which was stronger.

He followed the direction of Andrews’s gaze to see Camille standing in the doorway, holding a big plate of something baked.

“Hi, Camille,” Nate said, stepping toward her. “It’s good to see you.”

He glanced over his shoulder to Jesse. The kid’s expression was remarkably similar to Andrews’s: a mixture of happiness and discomfort. It made more sense for the kid. He’d be happy to see his mom and uncomfortable to have her in the same place as the guys he was trying to impress. That part, at least, was easy to fix. He’d worry about whatever Andrews’s expression meant later. Maybe the guy liked the kid’s mom. That could be really good, and not just because Nate was falling in love and wanted everyone else to be too.

Falling might be—was—the wrong word. He’d fallen in love with Becca. As in all in, think of her first thing in the morning and last thing at night, wanted to wake up to the taste of her on his lips, hold her when she was tired, shelter her with his body, love. The tiny four-letter word didn’t feel big enough to hold the way he felt.

He was just waiting for the right time to tell her. He didn’t want to complicate things for her while she was prepping for her case, and he wasn’t naïve enough to think his love wouldn’t be complicated, if for no other reason than because he worked for her brothers. He was okay with waiting as long as it meant there was a chance she might feel the same way.

“I thought maybe you guys could use a treat. Because you’ve been working so hard.” She smiled, her expression making it clear she’d seen them goofing off with the bottle. Her gaze was so warm and open, in a large part, he was sure, because of watching her son laugh. If Nate could see and appreciate the differences in the kid, it had to be a thousand times more powerful for her.

“You didn’t have to do that,” said Andrews.

Camille’s expression fell slightly, and Nate glanced over his shoulder, intending to glare at him. The other man looked miserable. There was definitely something going on there.

“Jesse, can you go tell Gabe your momma’s here.”

“That’s not necessary. I didn’t mean to interrupt or take up anyone’s time.” Andrews, the kid, and Camille all looked miserable.

“Don’t be silly. If Gabe knew you brought baked goods and we didn’t let him know, we’d all be in trouble,” said Nate.

Both the kid and his mom visibly relaxed, and Jesse hurried off to find Gabe. Andrews was the only one who still looked uncomfortable, but Nate had no idea what to do about that. He took one of the cookies Camille offered him, groaning in pleasure at the crispy oatmeal and chewy raisins, and decided he could worry about it later.

––––––––

BECCA PUT THE car into park and climbed out. Spur of the moment wasn’t usually her thing, but Nate changed everything. He’d given her time to work, checking in with her first thing in the morning and a couple of times during the day, but he never made demands on her time. Since the night they made love—she couldn’t call it anything else—they’d managed to steal a few lunches and some knee-melting kisses but no real time. She missed him, and she didn’t want to wait any longer to see him. There would always be work waiting for her, but right now she wanted to spend time with Nate. As much time as he could spare.

She’d waited until almost the end of most people’s workday before packing up her files and telling her paralegal she’d be out for the rest of the day. Ignoring the woman’s stunned expression, she grabbed her bag and left before she got pulled in another direction. She’d debated texting Nate to let him know she was coming, but there was something so impromptu about her decision. Once she made it, she didn’t want to stop for something as ordinary as a text. If he was too busy to see her, she could always pester her brothers until he was free.

She really hoped he wasn’t too busy. She didn’t even know if he was at the office. What if he’d gotten called out on a job? She’d started to rethink the whole not texting thing by the time she walked into the lobby at Southerland Security. It hit her with a sense of pride every time she walked into her brothers’ building. They’d been such goofballs growing up. It kind of amazed her to see what they’d built for themselves.

“Want me to call back and let them know you’re coming?” asked Jane, sitting behind the reception desk.

“That’s okay. I’m here to see Nate. Is he in?”

She debated before she said it, but Nate never tried to hide that they were dating. She seemed more concerned about what her brothers would think than he was and that was just because she didn’t want them to make things difficult for him. And if they were going to do this, there was no reason not to let everyone know. She wasn’t ready to give a name to it, but her feelings for Nate were real and getting stronger every minute they spent together. She’d started out thinking she didn’t have the energy for a relationship, but she had the energy for Nate. He didn’t make it harder for her to do her job; he made it easier.

“He’s back in the main room, I think.” Jensen looked at her and smiled, but he didn’t comment, something she was grateful for.

“Thanks,” she said, heading down the hall.

She heard the laughter before she got to the door and heard a woman’s voice. It didn’t sound like Sophie, and she thought Berlin was still out of town. She didn’t want to think it was jealousy that made her hold back, but she paused when she got to the doorway.

Camille was holding out a plate of cookies to Nate. The home-baked kind. The kind women who did nurturing things instead of ice queen lawyer things made. Jesse was standing a pace or two behind, munching happily and smiling at his mom and Nate. They looked like a family. The kind of family a man who was interested in kids would want. They looked right together.

A band tightened around Becca’s chest. It wasn’t jealousy. Or that was just part of it. It was more feeling like an outsider. She was as isolated from the scene in front of her as she was by her position standing just outside the room. She hated herself a little bit for thinking it, but on a simplistic level, it was like the kids’ “One of These Things Doesn’t Belong” song. In this scenario, she was the thing.

Nate hadn’t talked a lot about Jesse except to say how grateful he was to Gabe for offering the kid an internship. Considering the help her brother had staying out of trouble growing up, it seemed like payback to Becca. But she didn’t need Nate to say the words to know he cared about the boy. He wouldn’t have been in the alley the night they met if he hadn’t. He put his physical safety on the line to look out for the kid. That wasn’t something a neighbor just did. It felt like so much more.

Camille laughed at something someone said, ducking her head to the side in a gesture Becca recognized as a classic flirting move. She’d done it herself more than once when she really liked a guy. Nate grinned in response and took a bite of the cookie she’d made. He looked happy, and the band on Becca’s chest tightened around her heart. She took one last look at the scene in front of her and made her decision.

She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to give Nate what he wanted. She didn’t know if she’d ever be ready for a family or if she’d be ready in time to still have one. She’d watched so many women she knew wrestle with infertility. She didn’t think she’d ever have the energy for that. And she’d always be the kind of woman who bought cookies at the grocery store, maybe the bakery on special occasions. Her oven was never going to get that kind of use.

She couldn’t take that from Nate. She wouldn’t. He might say he was okay with it now, but he’d resent her eventually. Better to get out before the I love yous and the fight with her brothers. This way, Nate got to keep everything he wanted, and she went back to what she knew. Work she loved. It wasn’t as if she were suffering. She was on track to do some good and to make partner. She hardly had anything to complain about. And if her throat felt tight, it would pass.

Without bothering to make her presence known—she had no trouble making the decision to walk away, but she wasn’t up to explaining it—she turned and headed back the way she came. Rather than explain herself to Jessica, she called her paralegal and let her know she was on her way back in and asked her to pull the last of the case files before she left for the day. With her phone to her ear, she pasted a smile on her face and waved as she left the building and headed back to her office and work.