The Chatter Of Chickles
We stepped outside and walked towards the open courtyard that held the veggie beds and fruit bushes. I could not help but be gladdened by the lushness of my surroundings. Trees and ferns are all well and good, but they loom all haphazard and tangled like. Here all things green grew in such neat rows, that it caused a soothe to the eye and heart. Back home all I ever saw was concrete and stone. On special occasions some straggly plants were plopped into a dull container by way of brightening the place up a bit. All it did though was to accentuate the blandness of the place. Not so here. Here, all was leafyiness and colour.
“I see you are admiring our crops, such as they are.”
“I am indeed Odelia. They are a welcome sight and distract the thoughts to lighter themes.”
“Really? And what insignificant subject are you thinking of now?”
“Oh, nowt in particular.”
Odelia put her arm around my shoulder and drew me close. She reached out, grabbed Wirt’s elbow and pulled him beside her. We stared at each other and Odelia gave us a mischievous grin. “I am wondering, Adara, do you have a beau where you reside?”
I pulled away and said all indignant like, “No I do not.” Then I looked at Wirt and turned my back before my face caught alight.
“How sad. Still I am convinced such a lonely state can be fixed without resorting to a search far off. Eh, Wirt?”
Wirt coughed in an exaggerated manner and I felt certain my hot cheeks would set fire to something, so intensely did they burn.
“Come, Adara, I but jest with you. Let us attend to the purpose in hand, that of retrieving our lost henyhen.”
Her words soothed my abashment and when my skin cooled, I turned to my companions. Wirt rubbed his eyes and made the coughy noise again whilst Odelia lifted her shoulders and chuckled.
“So,” I said in as calm a voice as I was able, “I am familiar with the song of birdybirds and raptors, but I have never heard the sound a chickle makes. If you could perhaps give voice to resemble said noise, then maybe I can choose a suitable note.”
“Oh, I do not need to do such a thing. Here, follow me and I shall take you both to the chickle coop where you can listen to their voices.”
She walked a few steps ahead, turned and used her forefinger to beckon us on. I walked onwards and felt Wirt’s breath upon my neck. Odelia linked arms with us both and we sauntered all-casual through the plant patches towards an area of shrubbery and flowers. We stopped in front of said flora and Odelia knelt down. She whistled faintly and I thought she had become addled. I’d heard of folk singing to plants and embracing trees, but I had never heard of whistling to bushes.
I was about to say something along those lines, when I saw a movement in the undergrowth. A soft high- pitched whine followed and Odelia pursed her lips once more. There was a loud rustling and much shaking of leaves, then out jumped a snarling Wolfie. I leaped up and backed away from its ferocious teeth and growls. I called to Wirt and Odelia to do the same, but they just guffawed and took to rubbing the beast’s ears.
“Come Adara, be not afraid. Look closer and you will see that this is not a Wolfie, but a dowgie. Come, let it sniff your hand and become a pal,” Odelia said and buried her face into the creature’s furry neck.
I almost choked at the sight of a Lady making sport with a dreaded beast, and near fainted away when I saw Wirt bend low and let the thing wash his face with its tongue.
“Yeuk, in the extreme, Wirt. That Wolfie’s drool must smell vile.”
“Nay, not so much. Come, it’ll do the same to ye.”
“Yes, Adara, please do make acquaintance with our dear Bliss. She is no beast, but a soft little dowgiewowgie. Aren’t you my pet?” Odelia said and kissed it upon the lips.
“Are ye afraid or something? Can ye not see the thing is no threat? Come, give her a pat at least.”
I vowed to myself that although I would show courage and touch its head, I would under no circumstance allow the slavering creature to drool upon my person. I slow-stepped over to where they squatted. The fluffy hound gave a “ruff, huff” sound and I came over all a-feared.
“Do not cringe so. She is as tame as a that pebble under your foot.”
“Eh, if you say so.”
“Go on, stroke her head.”
“Aye go on, Adara, she’ll not bite.”
I let my trembling hand hover above the pooch’s head, closed my eyes and patted the rough fur on its head and neck. The thing gave out an explosive grunt and I pulled back my arm and stepped away. “There I have touched the thing. Shall we go to the chickle house now?”
“If that is what you want,” Odelia said and stood. The bitch got up too. “You stay now Bliss, stay. Good girl.” Bliss sat on her bottom and wagged her tail. To my relief, she did not follow when we left her to continue our journey to the where the chikkles abided.
“The coop is not far, just around the back of the bathing house, which you may use when we are done.”
“Good, fine, let’s get on then,” I said and walked all fast-like to the building Odelia pointed at.
The unadorned hut stood at the far end of the courtyard, directly opposite the Meetinghouse. It was raised from the ground by four wooden struts, leaving quite a large space beneath. I tilted my head and peered into the dark gap to see if more dowgies were hiding, and to my relief saw nowt but blackness.
We passed the front and went round the corner of the bathhouse to an enclosed rectangled area. Metal posts no higher than my waist, supported a thick mesh stretched between them that formed a cage-like structure. In the middle of the place was a long wooden box with a sloping roof, and all around that were a dozen small birdies with tiny wings and stumpy legs. I watched them dig their beaks into the earth and scritch- scratch the soil with their talons.
“Chickles,” Odelia said. The birds raised their heads on seeing us enter and gave forth a low chuckling noise that sounded as if they were telling jibes to each other and could not help but snicker at their own jollities.
“Do you eat these fowl?”
“Oh no. They are our companions. We only take the eggs they lay.”
“I have never tasted real negginegs. Just the ones that come in powder form.”
“The packet stuff has not a trace of egg in it, you know. It’s made from corn flour, yeast and soya. I can assure you that the taste is nothing like that of real yolks.”
“Do they cough them up?”
Odelia put her hand over her mouth to hide the grin that spread across her face at my dumb words. “No, they squeeze them out from their behind.”
She bent down, plucked a hefty brown feathery thing from the ground, swivelled it around, put its head under her left arm and lifted up the rear of the bird. Then to my and no doubt Wirt’s utter agahstness, she parted its plumage from around its bot and said, “Do you see that little opening?”
We nodded quickly lest she had a mind to poke the thing in our faces for a better look.
“When the chickle is about to lay, said tiny gap expands and out comes a nice big egg.”
“What? Eggs get plopped out like... Plop?”
“Sort of,” she said and carefully placed the bird back onto the floor. It ruffled its feathers, gave out an indignant “Buck, buck, buckaw,” and then strutted off.
“As you saw, their seed, for want of a better word, escapes from a place not that dissimilar to your reddy opening. In fact, their eggs are ejected much in the same way that all ripe fems ova are.”
I touched my belly and wondered if chickles felt the same heavy pain that I did each month. I looked to Wirt and his face resembled a slowly rotting peach.
“Yeuk in the extreme,” he said. “Will ye cease describing in utter detail a subject that churns my tum?”
Odelia laughed and Wirt turned away from the chattering birdles. I stood for a sec and tuned my hearing to their sound. It was full of clicks and short sighs and was the cosiest noise I’d ever heard. The bird song I was more used to had an eager quality to it that smacked of fear and menace. But no such angst filtered through these creature’s soft peeps.
Odelia knelt amongst them and beckoned to me to lower myself too. I did and remained quite still. After no more than a few secs, they came to me and set to scratching and clucking around my squatted form. I bent my head, closed my eyes and let their jabberings fill my brain. When I had listened to more than enough, I set to mimicking their chatter. The busy birds ceased their machinations and stared at me. I clucked again and they answered with a similar sound. After a few more attempts at communication, I sat back on my heels and in their own language, asked them to come right up to me.
Wirt opened his mouth wide and Odelia clapped her hands at the sight of chickles swarming towards me. They cluck-clucked all friendly like and stopped. I reached out and a small white one bent its head. I put my fingers against its neck and stroked. The thing made the sweetest little chuckle noise and I became quite lost in its gentle guttural clicks. Its plumage was so soft that I thought I’d put my hand into a cloud. It remained that way for a bit then raised its head, cocked it to one side and gave me a penetrating stare as if to say, “And what about our dear friend who’s missing?”
I rose and looked to the sky. Then closed my eyes and focused on an image of a chickle. All went quiet. I took in a deeply breath and let out a, “Buckaw-buck-buck-buckaw,” several times. Then faint and in the distance-like came a response not too dissimilar from the sound I made. I clucked again and the answer came back louder.
The henlets became quite excited and joined me in calling until the air was filled with the sound of rapid “buck-buck-buck-buckaw.” With a flurry of red-brown feathers, the missing chickle appeared above the hedgerow and landed with a soft thud at my feet.
Wirt and Odelia hugged each other and I stroked the silky downiness of the birdie. The other chicklets gathered around their pal and nudged and bumbed her until she flapped her stubby wings and strutted off to the far corner of the enclosure. The others trundled after her. I shook my head and sank to the floor. Three encounters with real-live animals in one day! I confess that I was overcome and let a tear stray down my cheek. Odelia fairly flew to my side and helped me up.
“Ah, so much to take in. So much you have learned and achieved.”
I sighed, wiped my forehead and noticed a creamy residue on my hand. “Euk and yack. Is that birdie plop?”
Wirt and Odelia nodded.
“I know what you need, a bath. All hot and steamy, and filled with scent. Many a thank you for bringing our chickle home. We will all be forever in your debt. Come, to the bathhouse,” Odelia said.
We took our leave of the birdies and made our way to the bathing house, which was but a few steps from the chikkie coop. Following Odelia, we walked up eight steps before she opened a rather plain black door. All was dark and I wondered why there were no windows. Odelia lit some giant golden candles that were held in what looked like an overturned flower head that hung from the ceiling. They were goodly candles indeed and soon the room became a fiery glow. Wirt and I entered and she closed the door. Everywhere I looked was splendour and opulence.
In the middle of the red tiled floor was an extensive bath sunk deep into the ground, Ancient Roman style. Spiky black mats where placed around it to prevent tumbles from wet feet. The walls were all hung with multi-coloured tapestries depicting males and fems cavorting and the like. Some in so much detail, that I was forced to lower my gaze. I felt Wirt nudge me in the ribs.
“I have nowhere to look to avoid my eyes being flashed with pics of immodest acts,” he said.
“That is not a worry to me as much as the fact that there is but one place to sploosh.”
“Let there be no shyness between ourselves, for we are as like sisters all,” Odelia said and twisted on a silver tap shaped like an eagle’s outstretched wings. Steaming water flowed from out its spout and she took a green bottle from behind an arras and poured in the scented liquid.
“Come. Disrobe and plunge into the bath. I will bring absorbent cloth for you to dry your skin when finished. Go. Do not hesitate.”
I stared at Wirt and he at me. Odelia giggled, shook her head then left us wondering where to fix our eyes. Wirt coughed and smiled.
“I have never seen a fem without her attire.”
“And I have never ogled a male without his.”
We looked to the floor then into each other’s eyes, and I felt a strangeness pull at my belows. I gulped and so did Wirt.
“Perhaps we can close our spyholes.” I blabbed all-quick like.
“I like ye scheme. This we will do”
I shut my eyes and trusted Wirt to do the same. I took off my garments and heard Wirt’s heavy skirt land upon the floor. I summoned up all of my pluck and stood straight.
“Take my hand, Wirt,” I said. He did and together we leapt into the hot and dreamy water.