The Day Of Getting Even
I thought my head was somewhere else when I awoke. It swam and tumbled as though I were hanging upside down. I squeezed my eyelids together, and the up and downess faded. Altitude sickness. I fumbled amongst the tight sheets and came upon my Synthbag caught around my feet, which I unravelled and nimbly opened up. I took out a Soother, placed it on my temple and sighed as it sank into my brain. It was not quite time for the moon to be forgot and in the dimness, I gave myself up to curiosity. I wriggled free from the constraining bedclothes, knelt, gripped onto the edge of the platform, and saw row after row of snoozing teenbulls. In the flattering light, they looked all innocent and noble.
I came over all-woozy, leant against the wall to compose myself and got a feel of its texture. Several knots dug into my back and I moved myself over their gnarled surface, positively sighing with relief as the knobs scratched itch after itch I didn’t even know I had. I let out a sigh, then remembered Wirt’s anguished face and the marks of ruffing up upon his soft flesh. Out there all a-cosy and sleeping the sleep of the blameless, were several males as guilty as an Agro filching a bub.
I bit my tongue before a yell of “sissy’s all” escaped from my lips, and noticed a grey-bearded figure mosey towards the sleeping Nearlys. My high position made it difficult for me to see exactly where he was headed. I raised myself slowly, so as not to allow the altitude to get the better of me again, and stood. I inhaled the smell of corruption that swirled around the room like smoke from a dreampipe. The ‘dult fairly reeked of skank design as he scuttled amongst the resting teens. A red-hot anger began at my toes and crept up and up my limbs until all I could think of was revenge.
Time for me to keep my promise and fetch them all some beastie flesh.
Quiet as a Monk’s fart, I slithered down the ladder and tiptoed outside. Gaining in belief of my unseen exit, I hid behind a tree, dug a hole in the dirt and made a much-needed plop. This outdoor toilet doings was not something to be relished, but there being no indoor means of relief. I hardened my finer sensitivities and thought it good experience for when I began training as a Backpacker. I kicked some dead leaves over my droppings, took off my Synthbag, pulled out a Moister and refreshed my sleep-blocked face. Then unplugged myself, noting that my sponge was dry and the reddiness a thing to not think about until next month.
The ground had a light frost upon it and a hazy mist twisted around my legs. I would have to wait until the sun sucked it up before I sang my song. I could not afford said fogginess to stick upon my vocal chords and diminish the intensity of my tune. They named me well although I do deny it. I am ‘The Catcher of Birds’ and as it is my calling, I must do right by it and poor Wirt. They would have their meat and choke upon it.
I headed back to the Oakhome and saw Wirt dart from the entrance. Aiken chased after him, his skirt all hanging loose.
Son-of-a-Peado!
I raced after, taking one of the vombombs that Orva had given me from my trouser pocket. I hurried close enough to see Wirt stagger and fall. Aiken, mitts all ready, kicked him in the ribs and spat upon his face.“Coward!” I shouted and threw.
The tiny ball landed on his neck and burst. Aiken swatted at the entry point thinking it perhaps a gnat. But I knew better and so did Wirt. When Aiken’s mouth dropped open and he squirted up his guts, I ran to Wirt and pulled him up. His nose was all bloodied and there was a gash across his cheek. I turned to Aiken who by now was lying on the ground twitching and clutching at his belly. He groaned and writhed and I spat upon his face.
“What have ye done?”
“Nothing that won’t wear off before too long.”
“They’ll come for me. They’ll teach me a lesson. They”ll...” Wirt didn’t finish his speech. He fell to his knees and blubbed and blubbed. I knelt beside him and took his shaking hands in mine.
“It’s nearly time for me to get some meat. When I do, stay close. So close we are as one. You will do this?” By way response, he laid his head upon my shoulder.
“Good. Now we must go back.”
“But they’ll know. Aiken will be missed.”
“Not so much. If they ask, I’ll say I saw him go for plops.”
Wirt raised his head and despite the muck and spittle that ran down his chin, he gave a whisper of a smile to me. I wiped his face with the sleeve of my tunic, rummaged in my Synthbag and handed him some Sterichoc.
“Ye sure ye want to part with such a treasure?”
“Keep stum about this. It’s Sterichoc.”
“I believed that to be a lie.”
“No, all true. Self-replicating choc. Or it would be, if I had the DNA and the 3D imaging device. But I have enough to keep me indulged for a while, I think.”
Wirt sniffed the sweetness and gulped it down in one.
“Such meltiness and sweet-sweet flavour. This truly is a wonder of wonders.”
“Time for glorifying later. Up we get,” I said and we walked back to Oakhome, the groans of Aiken fading in the mist.
We paused outside the entrance. I peered in through a small gap in the cloth hanging and saw the males sitting around the cauldron, eating. I squeezed Wirt’s hand for a sec and went inside. The great fire whooshed with warmth when we entered and a pleasing smell of oatlys wafted towards us. Both our guts grumbled with hunger. Wirt took his place next to a hairy-faced teen, grabbed himself a bowl and ladled a great splat of the porridge into it. Brennus lifted his head and gestured for me to sit.
“Welcome, Adara. Here, eat our humble chow. Then set to work.”
“Don’t mind if I do,” I said all bold. He handed me a large portion. I took it, sat next to him and scoffed down the proffered goo.
“What tune will ye sing to bring down the birdybirds?”
“The only one I know. Not much to choose from since their voices are not so often heard, what with them being so aloof. They tend not to hover close to where those that would capture and eat them dwell. Santy Breanna told me once, that birdies used to land and folk would put out food for them to feed upon.”
Brennus laughed and slapped his thigh. “Today we eat meat! Today we frolic with the knowhow of having ourselves a real life birdy catcher. Others will take note and our tribe will be great and honoured. Ladies will flock to our abode once more!”
A great cheer and clanging of bowls ensued to Brennus’s false claims. I caught Wirt’s eye and gave a look as if to say “Get ready” and stood. All rose with me, and Wirt, clip-clopped to my side. I waved my hand in the air and hurled my breakfast bowl against the wall. It smashed in two and all gave out an excited whoop and walked towards where I stood. I stayed them with raised open palm and began to sing.
I warbled loud and clear, a savage sound that came from beneath my bowels. The fire retreated back inside itself, as though scared of what was to come. I backed away towards the opening, felt Wirt’s fingers grip tightly at my pants and raised the volume. The males turned white when my singing reached an almost scalding intensity. I stepped outside and felt the cold air bite into my skin
The sun had risen and dried up the ice and haze revealing swirling black dots high above our heads. I softened my trills so as to listen to the song of the gathering birdybirds. I gazed upon their swirling shapes, free and boundless and wished that I could see them all up close and watch them peck and frolic.
My sentimental musings ended when the males appeared armed with clubs and nets. Eyes wide with eagerness, they tilted their faces up towards the sky and for a moment all stood still and silent, ears tuned to the birdy voices peep-peeping above. But the sweet sound was torn apart by a roar of joy as the males became aware of the enormity of what they were witnessing. A mighty flock of birdybirds circling overhead. They raised their weapons and one by one began to chant the word, “Meat.” They stamped the ground, clapped their hands and shouted into the air. Almost too loudly, for it nearly drowned out my soft singing. When I was sure that they were near to fever point, I switched my frequency.
The slavering males, blind to all but their own impending gratification, did not notice the increased size of the big-beaked things that began to descend, or the retreat of the smaller, edible ones. I pulled Wirt close to my side, waited until the sky was almost black with wings, and then gave forth a sound most pure in its intent. A note that caused the predatory birds to dive.
My mouth ran dry and I held onto Wirt with all my strength as raptor after raptor plunged into the gathered males. Their talons tore, their razor beaks slashed, and I swear I saw an ear or two come off. Despite attempts to fend off the resolute birds of prey with their sticks, the Nearlys and ‘dults fell heavy under the weight of so many. I gave in to gloat at the sight of these big proud males, that only the night before saw fit to defile a gentle creature for their sick needs; squealing like a girlygig with a tangle in her hair.
I smirked as they lay huddled in one great lump of fear, all weeping like the yellow-bellied brutes that they were. Their hands were torn to shreds from paltry attempts at shielding their faces from the relentless strikes of owlets, buzzards, eagles and smaller raptors. Only Brennus remained standing, swishing his great cudgel this way and that, hitting nowt but air.
The ground became red with their blood and I moved my feet away from its sticky flow. Wirt trembled and I gripped his wrist. He took in a shuddering breath and whispered into my ear, “I cannot bear to watch.” I let him turn away and stood steady for a while longer.
How pitiful and shrill were the shrieks from these less-than-males. How satisfying to witness their downfall in all its glory. “Let us away from this scene of carnage.” Wirt nodded and headed towards the woods. I followed and amidst the cries and sobs, heard Brennus yell in defiance.
“Down some if ye can. We must salvage something from this horror. I promised ye all some meat and that is what we shall have.”
I stopped, ready to return, ready to bring forth more if this fearless and foolish male believed that he could win, when a shaky voice cried forth, “Nay, wait! These are not birdybirds. These are hawks and bigger. We cannot eat this meat.”
So right he was, for raptor meat like all other flesh from animals, is poison to all hominids alike. I let out a “Ha!” and spid-sped into the forest in search of Wirt.