Chapter 24

Singh and Hannigan proved their worth as far as getting through the airport was concerned. Meredith and Kostya checked themselves and their bags in without a hitch, although for a moment they worried something had gone wrong when the attendant called over her shoulder for a supervisor. Her mind panicking, Meredith debated whether they should cut and run, but Kostya remained completely calm. Eventually the supervisor looked up, flashing them a huge smile.

“It appears that an anonymous benefactor of Humanitarian Relief International has donated his airline miles to upgrade any volunteers traveling for them. We’ll upgrade your flights to first-class right away,” she told them.

“Do you think our benefactor is named Ethan?” Kostya’s lips twitched into a crooked smile.

“It certainly sounds like something he’d do.” Meredith let out a shaky laugh, still shuddering. “And I’d imagine the bill is going straight to the State Department.”

Flying first-class, they had flat-lying seats for the international flight from Washington Dulles to Amsterdam. Each seat, set at an angle for privacy, gave each passenger aisle access and the ability to lie down to sleep. Although very nice for comfort, it really wasn’t set up for talking. Kostya didn’t ask about Scott, and Meredith didn’t volunteer. He had to have heard about the scene in the Senator’s office by now. Surprisingly, the end of the year-long relationship wasn’t upsetting her. With Scott caught in the act, she should have felt betrayed, angry, or deceived. Instead, all she felt was relief. In some ways, her reaction was troubling, but in other ways it made the split easier to handle emotionally.

Yet, if anyone had asked her whether she thought they would break up a week ago, she would have said no. Now, it seemed like it was inevitable. She never loved Scott, and Scott only loved himself.

Her relationship with Scott did keep pressures to date and find a significant other at a minimum. Now that she and Scott were over, it was just a matter of time before the press, her parents, and everyone else was asking what was wrong with her.

Maybe she just didn’t want to find someone.

Maybe she had already found him.

She peeked at Kostya in the pod in front of her. He had finally succumbed to sleep. The last time she had watched him sleep was five years ago lying on the soft, white sheets in the hotel in Kiev. Overheated from their lovemaking, they had kicked off the thick comforter and faced each other on their sides, talking and kissing until sleep came.

The memory of that night comforted her as she tried to cozy into the too-small blanket provided on the plane. She dropped off thinking of Kostya’s touch that night in Kiev: hands and fingers falling through her hair, pulling at her waist, cupping her jaw, and brushing her lips.

When she woke, Kostya was already awake, his seat was up, and he was reading. She blinked her eyes.

“What time is it?”

Kostya rotated in his seat. “Washington time, it’s about four-thirty in the morning. Local time in Amsterdam, it’s ten-thirty. We’re about an hour from landing.”

“Hmm,” she breathed out as she sat up and stretched her arms. “Could you reach my purse?” She pointed to the overhead compartment.

Kostya stood, opened the compartment, and retrieved her purse. She thanked him and scooted past to go to the restroom. A few minutes later, she emerged with her hair combed and fresh make-up applied. As she passed Kostya, he looked up at her. His blue eyes ignited into hers, sending heat through her. She stopped and stared for a moment, melting in the warmth the reaction between them created.

“Excuse me, miss,” a too-cheery voice said. “Please take your seat. We will be arriving in Amsterdam in just a few minutes.”

Meredith stepped aside into her seat’s pod. Adjusting her seat upright, she sat and buckled her seatbelt. Sighing, she leaned her head back and waited for the plane to land, trying not to think about Kiev.

The layover and flight from Amsterdam was quiet. Both Kostya and Meredith knew that the biggest hurdle for their false identities would be arriving in Kiev, and the possibility of the credentials failing or someone recognizing Kostya weighed heavily on their minds. As the plane began descending, Kostya took Meredith’s hand and entwined his fingers into hers.

“It will be all right, you know.”

She looked at him, trying to smile. “I wish I could be as sure as you are, Kostya.”

As they left the plane and headed for baggage claims and customs, he continued to hold her hand, looking back at her with encouragement. Stepping up to the line for customs, they were silent, only speaking when they were asked questions. Kostya, being the native speaker, spoke for both of them when possible, but Meredith’s Ukrainian was passable when she needed to speak.

A few hours after landing, Katya and Ivan Jovonvich had been cleared to enter Kiev. As they wheeled their bags out to the taxi stand, Meredith sighed in relief.

“I think I held my breath the entire time we were in Customs.”

“Have faith in Mr. Hannigan,” Kostya said. “TRUST is doing all they can to help us. We should be fine.”

“I hope so,” she said, attempting to convince herself.

****

In the morning, they were to take the train to Cherkasy, so Meredith and Kostya were on their own tonight in Kiev. Just being in this city again created a palpable tension between them, a feeling that neither one of them wanted to lay claim to but swirled all around them. The weather turned stormy, making outside activities uncomfortable, but the snow and cold brought them closer as they huddled together on the way to their hotel. They checked into the hotel and spent an hour or so freshening up. They didn’t want to wander too far, due to the storm, and decided to eat at the hotel’s restaurant for dinner.

The hostess led them to a table close to the huge two-sided fireplace set in the center of the dining room. The large stone hearth stretched out at least eight feet across, and the stones arced into the chimney, leaving a tall space for the fire. Meredith could see the other patrons on the other side of the fireplace, but their faces were indistinct, blurred by the smoke and flames rising to the chimney. Kostya didn’t seem as affected by the cold, but Meredith relished the warm fire as it melted the cold that had ached in her bones since they stepped outside in Kiev.

They sat at a square table set at a diagonal, so that both Meredith and Kostya could face the fire. Snow had made scheduled food deliveries impossible, the hostess explained, so dinner would be a selection of rustic comfort dishes made with their pantry items. She handed them paper menus printed just for the night that offered a selection of soups and stews, a few pasta dishes, and a variety of breads to accompany their selection.

“This menu is just right for a cold night,” Meredith said in slightly accented Ukrainian, pleasing the hostess, who curtseyed slightly and left.

After a few minutes, the waiter came to take their orders, and they both ordered the goulash, a dish of noodles covered by meat braised for hours in a rich sauce, and vodkas as an aperitif.

“The weather is different than the last time we were here together,” Kostya said.

“There’s a big difference between November and July,” Meredith responded. “I don’t mind the cold if I can curl up by a fire, though.” The waiter put down their drinks. “And a few strong spirits don’t hurt.”

Kostya nodded in agreement. “The Ukraine can be a harsh country, but she is always beautiful.” Kostya stared into the fire. “She has suffered, yet she always sustains.”

“To the Ukraine. May our efforts sustain her.” Meredith held her glass up.

Kostya clinked his glass against hers, and they both drank. “Another?” he asked quietly. When Meredith nodded, Kostya signaled the waiter for another round.

“I hope you’re not going to try to get me drunk to have your way with me,” Meredith teased. “I’m not that easy, you know.”

“It only took me three days last time.” Kostya grinned proudly.

Meredith blushed slightly but leaned in toward him. “Or did it take me three days to win my way with you?”

Now Kostya’s face reddened as the waiter interrupted to deliver their dinners and fresh drinks. Kostya immediately sipped his and ordered another round. Meredith smirked at him as she took a bite of her goulash.

“It’s really good,” she said, licking some sauce off her lips. He leaned into her and cupped her jaw in his hands. With his thumb he rubbed some of the sauce off her chin, just below her lip.

Meredith melted into his hand, wanting his touch, wanting his kiss. She looked into him expectantly, but with a sparkle in his eye he dropped his hand to eat his own goulash. Meredith swallowed from her drink and ate.

By the time their meals were done and Meredith and Kostya both had too much to drink, accidental touches and vague flirtations had led to purposeful gazes and little doubt of what they wanted next. Kostya signed for the bill, took Meredith’s hand, and headed to the elevator.

Standing and leaning against the walls opposite from each other, Meredith bit her lip thinking about sharing the night with Kostya again. Would it live up to her memories? Would it change anything? Her mind was fuzzy and she was warm and her stomach was all fluttery and Kostya was taking her to their room.

They stepped out of the elevator and Kostya took her hand. Meredith followed, giggling in her mind. The door to their room opened and Kostya pulled her inside. Falling into his arms, she brushed her lips on his.

“I’ve wanted to do that for days.”

“Then do it again. You have a lot of catching up to do.” He grinned.

With each step through the room, they discarded the barriers to their act of love. By the time they reached the bed, there was nothing between them. Kostya pulled back the covers on the bed, and his hands guided Meredith’s head to the pillow while his body pressed his hardness against her.

“Mmm—Kostya.” Meredith hummed his name as he ran his hands up her side around to her back. She molded to his body, opening herself to him and mirroring him caress for caress, kiss for kiss. The alcohol had relaxed her, and her muscles were completely pliable to his will. She pressed into his warmth as his lips traveled under her chin and down her neck leaving her dazed and dizzy.

“Oh,” she moaned, and her head spun as her pulse accelerated. The dimmed lights shot rainbows across the room, so she shut her vodka-weighted eyelids. “Kostya—”

“Meri.” She heard Kostya’s voice, filtered through her drunken haze. Her arms held him limply, and she nuzzled into his shoulder, breathing deeply. “Meri?”

“Mmm—”

****

Awareness came in stages for Meredith. Turning on the bed, she felt warmth and instinctively nuzzled into the embrace. Yet, something wasn’t right. And she needed coffee. Strong coffee.

Opening her eyes, she observed the unfamiliar surroundings. Kiev. I’m in a hotel in Kiev. She was satisfied by the realization, then puzzled at the feeling around her.

Someone else is in this bed, and I think I am naked. Through vodka-fogged memories, she deducted that there was only one person who could be next to her.

“Kostya?” she spoke gently.

“Mm-hmm,” he answered.

“We…we slept together last night?”

He sat up on one elbow looking at her. “Are you asking a question or making a statement?”

“Oh,” she ventured. Looking on the nightstand, she saw a three-pack of unopened condoms. Her eyes widened. “We didn’t, um… We didn’t use protection?”

He rolled onto his back. “No. I didn’t think it was necessary.”

Didn’t think it was necessary! What the hell! She took a deep breath and tried to stay calm.

“I guess I shouldn’t worry until there’s something to worry about.” Her voice shook.

“No.” He paused, his lips twitching. “Would it be bad? You know—would it be bad for us to have something happen?”

“Something? You mean a baby?” Meredith propped herself on her elbow.

“Our baby.” He gently rubbed her shoulder and arm.

Meredith felt the prick of tears in her eyes. Fear, anger, desire, and love assaulted her senses. For a moment she imagined having a family—Kostya and their baby. Her heart lurched. She couldn’t imagine anything that would bring her more joy. But this was real life and reality had to come into play sometime. Five years ago, she walked out of a hotel room knowing she could never make a lasting connection with this man—this perfect man who lived halfway around the damn world. Their differences were so much greater than what anyone could expect love to overcome. Yet, her spirit vibrated with the intensity between them. And even though they were here again today, and it seemed that the fates were trying to tell them something, she had to consider what was really practical. Could she and Kostya make a life together? Would the life they chose be fair to their children? She breathed deeply and sought his gaze.

“Where would we live? How would we choose whose dreams to follow?”

“We could make new dreams together. We could find our way through our love.”

Meredith’s insides lurched with hope, but she knew it was hopeless. “The connection we have is indescribable. With you I feel like I feel with no one else. Even now, five years later, I have been craving your touch, your love. But things have not changed. I couldn’t ask you to leave the Ukraine any more than you could ask me to leave America.”

“So we split time between the two. Our babies learn English and Ukrainian. We live in New Orleans or Washington, or wherever you want during the winter and come to the Ukraine in the summer.”

“Is this about a hypothetical baby or about us, Kostya? You haven’t said what you want our relationship to be.”

“Of course we would get married.”

“Wait. Is that, ‘Of course we would get married because I love you and I can’t live without you’ or ‘Of course we would get married if you are pregnant’?”

“Meri, I love you. Of course we would marry.”

Meredith sat up with the sheet around her. “Well, that is the proposal every girl dreams of,” she said sarcastically. “The foregone conclusion.”

“Let’s just go back to where we were ten minutes ago and start over.”

“I’m not sure I want to take that risk, and since it’s not necessary to use condoms, we probably shouldn’t risk going back to any more of our past events today.” She twisted out of bed, wrapping the sheet around her. “I’m going to shower and pack for the train.” She walked across the room toward the bathroom.

“You’re misunderstanding,” Kostya said, rising out of bed and turning her to stop her. “We didn’t have sex last night. We were headed there, and you passed out. But, Meri, when the time is right, you won’t stop me—not from making love to you, not from marrying you, and not from making beautiful babies with you.” Stripping her of the sheet with one hand and weaving his hand through the back of her hair with his other, he pulled her into his kiss.

No longer able to sustain denials or excuses, Meredith fell into Kostya’s embrace. The pure energy of their touch blasted the artificial walls that she had built between them. Never one to break the rules, she found herself out-of-control and senseless. Her sole focus became Kostya and never letting him go again.

More powerful than the drunken kisses from the night before, Kostya dominated her effortlessly, and she was seduced into sweet compliance. Under his spell, she followed him as he led her back to the bed with sweet touches and savory kisses.

“Help me remember,” Meredith whispered as Kostya lowered her, his hands easing tensions with heat and motion. “Help me remember what we had that night. I’m afraid I’ve nearly forgotten.”

“You’ll never forget, dushen’ka. No one can forget a love like ours.”

“Then take me there again, Kostya. I can’t live without it any longer.”

Together they created an undulating rhythm of opposites. As he rose, she fell. She touched and he held. Her breathlessness was met with his fullness. Her softness joined his hardness.

And a memory would never be enough again.