Less than forty minutes after hanging up the phone, loud music came blaring through the bedroom window, followed by a series of loud beeps. Carole Pope’s smoky voice came bellowing out from the car while Sarah was trying her best to sing along to “High School Confidential.”
“Meggie, Sarah’s here.” Meg heard her mom yell above the loud music.
“I hear her, Mom. I’m on my way down right now. And don’t wait up for me tonight, Sarah and I are going to Will’s house, and I’m spending the night at Sarah’s.” Meg yelled out the bedroom door so her mother could hear.
Shit, where is that lipstick? Yes, there it is. Carefully, Meg outlined her lips with liner and quickly applied a light pink shimmer of gloss before running her fingers through her thick dark hair. She took one last look in the mirror, grabbed her bright pink sweater, her purse, and headed for the stairs. She slipped into her black sandals at the entrance and made her way out the driveway.
After settling into the passenger seat of the Honda Civic, Sarah lowered her sunglasses and took Meg in from head to toe. “You look amazing, Meg! That shirt looks good on you. Where did you get it?”
“Oh, I got it at the mall yesterday, you like it?” Meg wasn’t used to flaunting her breasts, and the shirt was tight and showed off far too much cleavage for her liking. But it was daring and tonight she wanted to ooze sex appeal.
“Yeah, it makes you look like you have one hell of a rack. You know, you are going to give her a run for her money looking like that.”
Meg rolled her eyes at the thought of John looking her way with that bimbo on his arm; the idea of him being with what’s her name made her want to gag. In fact, she felt close to picking her ass up out of the seat and getting out of the car. Maybe I could go back to dream land where everything is so much better than the reality of not being with him. Sarah caught her hesitation and, with a frown, looked over to Meg knowingly. “Don’t even think about it, Meg, just stay in the fucking car and let’s go have ourselves a good time. Forget about him, forget about her. This is our night, and we are getting shit faced and getting laid.”
Meg swallowed her thoughts and turned to Sarah. “Okay, I know you’re fed up with me; you have listened to me go on and on about him since forever, but you know what? I’ve had it too. I’m as fed up talking about him as you are listening. No more wasting my every waking hour thinking about him. You’re right, and I can’t keep going through the motions anymore. I’ve just wasted two years of my life over some guy I will never have. Let’s go get our drunk on, and maybe I’ll work up the nerve to get laid!” Who am I kidding? Meg knew that wasn’t going to happen, but it sure felt good putting it out there! Sarah backed the car out of the driveway, and they were off to Will’s house at the other end of town.
On the way there, Meg thought dreamily about sex, trying her best to imagine being with someone other than John. Sarah talked about sex all the time. She loved sex. Hell, she thought everyone should get laid on a regular basis. “It releases stress,” she would say. “And do you know how many calories you burn during sex, Meg?” Meg smiled to herself, amused at how naturally her friend blurted these things out. What would it feel like to have an orgasm? Meg had tried masturbating a few times but gave up easily. She wasn’t sure what to touch or how to touch it. Sarah made it sound so easy, and out of embarrassment, Meg pretended that she touched herself whenever Sarah brought up the subject.
Sarah admitted she’d never had an orgasm with a boy during sex, at least not during intercourse. She said she had to help herself get to that point. Meg came to the conclusion that she might as well be a preacher’s daughter for her lack of experience. To Sarah, sex was just sex. There were no strings attached; she never allowed herself to get emotionally involved. But to Meg, it was something you shared with someone special. She didn’t want to have sex with just anyone; she wanted to have sex with John. Damn him. Just like that, her thoughts drifted back to him. She wondered what it would be like to be kissed by him, to be really kissed by him. She couldn’t even imagine how the sex would be. He was experienced, and Meg was willing to bet he was great between the sheets.
She had only been kissed once, when she was sixteen, by Will of all people! Meg wondered what it would be like to really kiss someone. One day, one day, I will understand what all the hype is about. Who knows, maybe tonight will be the night. After all, I can’t leave home a virgin. And that left her with only three weeks before leaving Door County.
* * * *
Sarah turned right into the driveway of Will’s house, and Meg took note of the familiar faces scattered about. It was a fairly small town where everyone pretty much knew everyone. There were very few secrets in little Door County, and Meg was sure the neighbors couldn’t wait for Will’s parents to get home so they could rat him out. She could hear them all now, those busybodies with nothing better to do, talking about how Will is such a bad ass and throwing a party while his parents were out of town. Sarah parked at the end of the driveway near the road. They both got out and made their way past the crowd toward the side of the house leading to the backyard. Will shouted from the balcony just off of the family room. “Hey, girls, get your sweet asses out back where the drinks are. I’ll be down before you get there.” And just like that he disappeared.
As they approached the backyard, the music grew louder. Will’s house was one of the largest in town. Both his parents had great jobs. His mom worked for the Government for Child Welfare and his dad was a cop in Door County. Will’s older brother Roger had moved out of town just over a year ago. He was four years older and quite a partier. Meg had lost count of all the times Roger had staggered through the basement door where her and Will had been hanging out.
* * * *
Meg’s thoughts drifted back to two years ago, when she and Will were sixteen. They’d just finished watching a movie in Will’s basement, and like always, they got carried away play fighting and wrestling one another to the floor. But this time was different. Will pinned Meg to the floor, and she couldn’t wriggle free. Then his face moved in closer and she could feel the heat from his mouth as he lightly brushed his lips over hers. They both stopped moving, and their eyes connected. Time stood still and a million thoughts went through Meg’s head. What just happened? Since when did you ever look at me that way? He moved his hand from her shoulder and with his thumb he caressed Meg’s bottom lip. It was the oddest feeling; she couldn’t breathe, and there was no time to think. Meg had never been kissed before. She recalled how quickly her heart raced in her chest, and before she knew it, his mouth covered hers. Before the kiss went any deeper, the door upstairs flew open, and they scrambled quickly to their feet, adjusted their clothes, and looked toward the top of the stairs. Roger staggered in drunk as hell.
He stumbled to the first step and mumbled something that sounded like “good night” before he turned and disappeared. Meg broke the awkward silence that followed. “Will, I’m going to get going; it’s pretty late and I’m sure Mom will be calling the entire county looking for me.”
She considered making a point of what a mistake it was that they had kissed but decided to let it go.She hoped the situation would simply blow over and be forgotten. .After all, Will had a girlfriend who was also a friend of Meg’s. What was I thinking? Julie is one of us, a good friend; she would do anything for anyone and she absolutely worshiped Will. Meg recalled feeling like such an ass. Embarrassed, she had slipped through the basement door before Will could respond. She had to get out of there.
The cool midnight air wrapped itself around her heated body; it felt good and she needed something to snap her out of the moment. She fetched her bike and decided to make her way to the local church in midtown. The parking lot was empty. Good. She placed the bike against the side of building before taking a seat on the church steps. With both hands over her eyes, she rested her elbows on her knees and tried wrapping her head around what just happened. That’s when a low and definite male voice caught her attention.
“Hey, Meggie Malone, you okay? What are you doing out this late at night? You know, it’s past one o’clock in the morning?”
Meg knew that voice; she hesitated before looking up. And when she did, she found John Lake standing less than three feet away from her with a concerned look on his handsome features. It just so happened that he was Julie’s brother, so there was no way she could share with him what had just happened. He would be pissed, and rightfully so.
“Christ, John, you startled me there for a second.”
John was going into his last year of high school, and Meg was just one year behind him. Her expression was blank, and she had no idea how to explain her midnight rendezvous but knew she had to think of something quickly.
“What brings you here?” she asked, hoping to shift the focus of the conversation to him.
“I was just on my way home and noticed you sitting here all alone and thought I would ask if everything’s okay. I usually don’t see anyone here this late at night.” His eyes searched the empty parking lot before turning back to her.
“Actually, I don’t come here that often. I just stopped for a quick break to catch my breath. I usually take a run at night, but tonight I decided to go for a ride instead. I’m sorry I’m just rambling on about nothing here.”
He smiled, that wicked beautiful smile exposing perfect white teeth. “You’re not rambling on,” he assured her with a grin. “So, you’re okay then?”
“Everything’s fine, like I said, I just stopped to catch a quick breath.”
“Well, it’s not every night I see a beautiful young girl sitting out here all alone looking as though she’s a million miles away. You want to talk about it?”
Now that captured her attention. Did he just call me beautiful? Shyly, she smiled back at him before looking down at her feet. After turning every shade of red, she smoothed her hands over the front of her legs. “No, I don’t want to talk about it, but thanks for asking.”
“It isn’t safe out here, you know. Old Man Don has been seen hanging around here lately, and no one really knows the extent of his craziness. You know, when his wife left him with the kids, he beat them something fierce. I can only imagine what he’d do to someone else.”
John took a seat beside her, and she could feel the weight of his stare, but he didn’t say a word. She wondered what he was thinking. A silent moment passed between them before they started talking about their plans after they were done with high school. John mentioned he would be taking a year off to hang out around town after graduation. He was working that summer and was promised the same job the following year if he was interested. Meg let him know her intentions were to leave Door County, and she had applied to U of T and NYU. The conversation was nice, not at all awkward like she expected it to be. He was funny at the right moments, smart, and, God, was he ever flirtatious.
This was the first time Meg had spoken to John alone. In the past, Sarah had always been there and made her fade into the background, watching him from a distance. She was a total coward when it came to John and froze in his presence, feeling completely starstruck around him.
When he turned to face her again, his gaze lingered on her mouth. God, I could get lost in those eyes. She was hoping he would lean in and kiss her. She held her breath and simply stared back at him. Being this up close and personal, she could see the beautiful color of green with specs of brown in his eyes. His full lips were sensual, red from the moisture on his lips and so freaking kissable. What am I thinking, he has a girlfriend, and I need to back the hell down before I go against my own rules of making out with someone’s man. She finally managed to turn and looked away uncomfortably. If only he were single. A long sigh escaped her.
He stood up and cleared his throat, holding his hand out toward her. “Come here. I want to show you something.”
Meg slid her hand into his grasp. His hands were calloused and strong, and there was no way she could resist. Without saying a word, she followed him to the back of the church. Is that running water or blood gushing through my head? His touch sent a warm shiver down her arm, and butterflies fluttered around in her chest.
His voice cut through the silence, and the sound of running water echoed in the background. “I come here sometimes to think.” John’s tone grew serious as he continued. Meg could tell he was about to share something important. “Or to get away from the old man when he starts yelling and screaming and before any of the real pain starts,” he continued. He shuffled his feet nervously. “I know people around here talk, and it’s no secret that my old man’s a mean bastard. When my older brother Billy left home a few years ago, I had to take over and watch out for Julie and my younger brother, Anthony. I can’t leave this town until I know the little guys out of the house for good. It was hard watching Billy take all those beatings before he left, and then the old man turned his hand on me. Anthony has two more years left before he goes off to college. Julie will be okay; she gets yelled at, and he’s strict with her, but he’s never touched her. He saves that for his sons. Thank God, because I don’t know what I’d do if he as much as laid a hand on her.”
John didn’t look at Meg. He continued to talk about his problems behind closed doors and stared blankly at the ground below. Once in a while, he scuffed his feet through the dirt and kicked at a stone. I wish I could make it all go away for you, John, you deserve happiness. Meg’s heart broke for him. He was a good person, and he deserved a happy home—somewhere to feel safe and loved, everyone deserved that much, she thought to herself.
Meg was familiar with the rumors around town about Ron Lake. He had a mean streak and most everyone was painfully aware of his bad temper. Will had told Meg some of the stories that Julie shared with him, and they weren’t pretty. Mrs. Lake was a petite woman. She stood back and let her husband run the home. She didn’t work and had been a housewife all her life with very little education. She kept to herself and did what she was told. Most people figured it was easier for her to stay quiet, rather than face the consequences of what her husband would do if she ever talked back or tried protecting her children.
“John, I’m so sorry,” Meg offered with empathy. He finally fixed his eyes on her and away from the hole he was staring into the ground. Clearly, this conversation was upsetting him. Although his eyes were a little glossy, there were no sign of tears. There was a definite bitterness in his tone and the look of a young man, a maturity that shouldn’t be there at such a young age, and he looked tired of fighting to protect his siblings.
“No need to be sorry, you didn’t do anything, Meggie.” He put his hand in his pocket, and Meg could see he was getting a little embarrassed.
She observed him for a bit, and in a soft voice, she said, “I know, but listening to you and hearing what you go through every day, it’s just wrong. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”
“Tell me something, Meggie Malone. How is it that we are both good friends with Sarah yet we hardly run into one another? You two are inseparable, yet whenever I’m around her, you’re never there.”
That’s because before now you never noticed me. “Yeah, funny that. I can’t figure that one out either,” she answered him in return.
Large spruce trees surrounded them, and they stood alone in a hollowed-out clearing, enough for maybe five people to hang out comfortably. Empty beer bottles and cigarette butts were scattered around the ground. A little grass grew along the edges, but most of the ground appeared to be covered with dark, packed soil. A large tree root exposed itself above the surface of the ground to their right. John walked over and pulled Meg down next to him.
He was still holding her hand when she became more than aware of the heat that had spilled from his body when their outer thighs touched. It was still quiet, only the sound of trickling water could be heard through the wooded area behind them. Meg hoped the pounding of her heart wasn’t nearly as loud as it felt. John broke the silence, he tilted his head ever so slightly to the side, and their eyes locked. “Meggie, I know I have a girlfriend and all, but I have this overwhelming need to kiss you right now.”
Oh my God, John Lake wants to kiss me! How could I possibly say no to that? John was popular, smart, experienced with girls. But Meg quickly reminded herself that he had a girlfriend. Should I say yes, or should I just walk away and forget this night ever happened. This guy could break my heart into pieces. I’ve fantasized about him like every other girl, but could I just kiss him and walk away? Would he ignore me tomorrow? Would he even acknowledge my presence? She couldn’t think any more, not with him staring at her like that. His jaw flexed as he waited for her response. Was he nervous? He couldn’t be. There was no way he was nervous, he knew his way around girls. And Meg was sure he had many before Lynn came along.
“John, you have a girlfriend and I know her, this is a small town and people will talk. I really should be getting home, it’s late.”
“Who will know, there’s just the two of us here.”
“I will; I’ll know and then how do I face you tomorrow, not to mention Lynn?” Clearly, I must be out of my mind…what girl given this opportunity would turn down a kiss from John Lake? Kiss him, just do it, Meg. Filled with regret, she wanted to give in to that tempting mouth of his, slowly she got back to her feet. John stood up along with her and wrapped his long fingers around her upper arm when she lost balance. Meg’s heart did a somersault at the feel of his hand on her. As they both headed back to the front of the church, Meg noticed John was quiet and subdued. She figured he was a little thrown off, and she was fairly confident that no-one had ever turned him down before now. Feeling like she’d lost the best shot she had of being intimate with him, she kept her pride intact and reached for the bike.
“Meggie, do you mind if I ride along with you? It’s really late, and I’d feel better knowing you made it home safely.”
She’d accepted his offer. Despite the fact that she had turned down the kiss, she didn’t want their time together to end. She wanted to be with him for just a little longer. Maybe forever. Less than twenty minutes later, they approached Meg’s house. She turned to him. “Goodnight,” Meg said regretfully, wishing he would ask her again to kiss him. But he didn’t. They hugged and held one another closely for a moment longer than they should have before letting go.
“Meggie, you are one of a kind, you know that?”
“What makes you say that?” She looked at him a little baffled.
He shook his head slowly, “You’re different than most girls around here.” With that he kissed her cheek, and said good night. “Good night, John.” Meg’s hand moved up to touch her cheek where the feel of his lips still lingered.
Meg struggled with the key, all the while feeling him stare at her back. She took one last quick look over her shoulder, and sure enough, he was watching. With a quick wave, she entered the house and made her way inside.
That night, Meg dreamed about John; and every night thereafter he filled her fantasies. There was something about him, something special. He was kind, strong yet vulnerable, and oh, so dreamy. It seemed everywhere she went after that night, he was there, but so was Lynn. Meg found herself aching to be with him, to be touched by him. There was a definite connection between them.