42

Alice Gendron had understood for some time that her daughter was no longer seeing Ameur. She was relieved. It was only a matter of time before Louise gave up this new religion of hers and their relationship could get back to normal. Besides, the two women were more and more on the same wavelength. They chatted a bit in the morning before leaving for work, and at night they would eat together most of the time.

A few nights ago Alice had even shared a humorous recollection with her daughter. She had almost missed her bus when her jacket caught on a piece of metal protruding from the bus shelter. “I thought someone was holding me back, and I was thrashing around for dear life. People were staring at me — I must have looked completely crazy.”

Alice convulsed with laughter as Louise, half surprised and half curious, listened to her mother, fascinated. “So how did you finally get loose?”

“Lucky for me, a man standing nearby figured out what was happening and unhooked my jacket. It was too much, let me tell you!” Alice finally managed to explain between bursts of laughter.

Louise laughed along with her, delighted to see her mother happy in her company.

“The bus driver waited for me. I was really a sight!” Alice shook her head and wiped a tear of mirth from her eye.

But happy interludes like that one didn’t last long. All Louise had to do was retire to her room to pray or be discovered reading the Qur’an in the living room for coldness to fall between the two. They would avoid each other’s eyes, Alice’s nostrils would flare, both their bodies would stiffen, and mother and daughter would become strangers once again, unable to speak to one another across the chasm gaping open between them.

Alice had come home from work early so she could take the rest of the day off. She felt like making the most of one of the last fine days of summer. She’d returned home, taken a shower, and, feeling fresher, picked up a book and sat down on the balcony.

Her balcony garden was a miniature work of art. It did everything a garden should: it was cool and calming and had an ambiance that was propitious for daydreaming. Flowers, herbs, and green plants thrived in clay pots. There was even a container of cherry tomatoes; the tiny red globes dancing in the breeze could have been rubies, half hidden amongst foliage suspended between the concrete walls of the city. Sitting on the balcony and reading went hand in hand. She forgot time and worry, escaping for hours on end only to emerge rested, relaxed, at peace and on the verge of sleep.

A few ice cubes floated in a tall glass of water. Alice hadn’t noticed the time go by — the novel she was reading had carried her off into another world. Suddenly she heard Louise’s footsteps in the hallway.

“Mum, are you there?”

Alice glanced at her watch. Five o’clock. Louise was coming home from work. Without moving, she replied, “I’m here, on the balcony.”

Louise joined her mother. The two women looked each other over. Alice quickly grasped that Louise wasn’t her usual self. She looked drawn. There was something on her mind. “How was your day?” she asked.

Not wanting to mention the meeting with Ameur, her daughter found a good alibi. “It’s terrible what I see every day. There’s so much suffering. One of my patients died. It was more than he could bear —” She stopped short and tears filled her eyes. How she would have liked to share her emotions with her mother, talk to her about meeting Ameur, about her feelings towards him, about the question he’d asked her before leaving . . . but her mother would lose her temper and their relationship would suffer yet again. Talking about work was less risky, a path with fewer pitfalls. Her mother would understand and give her advice.

“But, darling, that’s life. You do everything you can, but there comes a time when you can do no more…”

Tears were now running down Louise’s cheeks. She wiped them with the back of her hand. “You’re right, Mummy, I take everything too personally. I think I’ll go and lie down for a while.”

It was an excellent excuse for her to be alone. The afternoon’s encounter had thrown Louise’s plans into turmoil. Ameur’s face, his smile, his voice, his eyes — everything about him still drew her in. And she had thought she was immunized! Love still lurked within her, concealed in a writhing nest of emotions, but like a tamed tiger, it crouched, ready to pounce at the first sight of a chunk of raw meat.

Should I see him again or just turn the page? she wondered as she lay on her bed. Why would he try to talk to me if everything is over between us? Then a new thought flashed through her mind. What if he has something important to tell me?

Again and again she went over the encounter with a fine-toothed comb, analyzing every word, visualizing all the possible outcomes, imagining herself once again with Ameur, married and happy. Then she remembered the expression on Lama’s face. She hadn’t seemed too enthusiastic about her talking with Ameur. I should listen to Lama. She’s the one who stuck by me when he betrayed me, she concluded.

Alice’s voice shook her out of her daydream. She got up and looked in the mirror. She felt lost.

Her mother’s voice rang out again. “Louise, have you seen the tv remote?”

Shaking herself out of her stupor, Louise hurried out to the living room.