The Book of Romance

Song of Solomon 4:1–5:1

I vividly recall the drive that my wife, Teresa, and I made from the church where we were married to the motel where we were to spend our wedding night. Mostly I recall that drive as a blur. I started out at the speed limit of sixty-five miles per hour, but the more we talked about the wedding being behind us and the honeymoon being before us, the faster I drove. Soon I was doing seventy-five miles an hour. And the more we talked, the more the pedal went to the metal, and the farther away she scooted. Finally I was doing about ninety miles per hour, and Teresa was clinging to the car door on her side, eyeing me warily! Predator and prey!

What a wonderful moment when you finally get to the honeymoon . . . at last. Couples tend to arrive at that moment exhilarated in their emotions, exhausted from the wedding, and energized by passion. They have made it in purity through what very likely have been years of dating, courtship, and engagement. They have experienced the holiness of a wonderful wedding ceremony. And now, all of the passion they have kept in check can be expressed.

As much as a couple may be eager for, excited about, and ready for sexual intimacy, questions and hesitations sometimes loom about sex. Ah, sex. It is the hope and desire of every young person. It is also one of life’s greatest mysteries and secrets.

WHAT DON’T YOU KNOW ABOUT SEX?

Once upon a time there was a man who visited a community of people who lived by a river. As evening approached, he was invited to sit down by the river and enjoy a cool beverage and then dinner with the people. While they ate calmly and pleasantly, a fourteen-foot crocodile suddenly came up out of the river, chomped off the arm of the man sitting closest to the riverbank, and then slipped silently back into the dark waters. The people were alarmed and shocked, but they quickly recomposed themselves. Those closest to the man bandaged him up the best they could and transported him to medical assistance. Then they resumed their eating, drinking, and conversation—picking up right where they left off without any discussion of the incident.

The visiting man was horrified that the evening continued as if nothing had happened. Each time he tried to mention the tragic and violent act, someone in the group quickly changed the subject. He made one final attempt to bring the incident to discussion: “A man just lost his arm to an enormous crocodile that came suddenly out of the river. Didn’t you all see that, or was I imagining things?”

Someone in the group replied, “Yes, we saw what happened. A number of people are attacked each year in our community by crocodiles.”

The man then looked closer at the group and sure enough, he spotted people who were missing hands and feet, fingers and ears. “Can’t you do anything about the crocodiles?” he asked.

Another in the group replied with embarrassment clearly written on his face, “It is impolite in our culture to talk about crocodiles.”

The visitor to the community was stunned into bewildered silence.

At times I feel as he did when I see how the church deals with sex. So many people within the body of Christ seem to be wounded and maimed emotionally and psychologically by issues and problems related to sexual intimacy, and yet nobody in the church wants to discuss these issues. Sex is off-limits, something we just don’t talk about in polite company, much less the holy company of fellow saints.

Where do most people learn about sex? On the wall of the rest room at the local gas station? On the playground? From a book or magazine that one discovers at a friend’s house? From an R-rated movie?

Most of the information young people receive about sex does not come to them in a straightforward informational style, much less with an explanation about why a person should wait until marriage for sexual intercourse. Those who have sex education in the public school system are given factual and biological information, much of it about the physical mechanics of sex and the physical anatomy involved in reproduction, but they are not told the full truth about the emotional and psychological aspects of sexual intimacy. They are not given instruction as to the appropriate context for sexual intimacy. Information without moral context is a time bomb waiting to explode.

I know a number of parents who have fought vigorously to keep sex education out of the public school system, and some who have sought to keep sex education from being a part of the curriculum in their private Christian schools. Their reasoning is almost always the same: “We want the privilege as parents to tell our children about sex.” But some of these same parents never seem to get around to having a straightforward, no-holds-barred, all-questions-appropriate-to-ask conversation in which sex is discussed fully, freely, and without embarrassment. Their version of sex education tends to be, “My advice is that you not do this until you are married.” That’s not much of an explanation to young people who want to know all of the what, when, where, why, how, and with whom details.

Planned Parenthood has determined from its polls that only 5 percent of the women who seek their services have ever had a parental conversation about sex. Even those parents who do prepare for sex-related talks with their children often discover that when they finally get around to having the discussion, they are a couple of years and a few experiences too late. I know of very few churches in which sex is discussed with youth groups or in Sunday school classes, much less from the pulpit.

And meanwhile, the crocodiles of inappropriate and ungodly sexual behavior are leaping out of the river of our society and taking giant chunks out of God’s people. Emotions are being shattered, lives are being deeply impacted, and serious psychological scars are being formed—all for the want of lack of information and lack of understanding about God’s plan for intimacy.

Thank God that we have His Word on the subject!

APPROACHING YOUR SPOUSE

In Solomon’s era, the tradition regarding marriage was that the formal union of the couple happened in a public area, and then during the wedding reception, the bride and groom retired to a designated room where they consummated the marriage sexually. This custom has continued through the centuries, by the way, and still is the norm in many ultra-orthodox Jewish settings. When sexual intercourse was completed, it was then customary for the sheet on which the couple lay to be brought out for examination by the elders present at the wedding. They were looking for bloodstains that resulted from the virgin’s hymen being penetrated. Bloodstains were considered a dual sign—the marriage had been consummated and the young woman indeed had been a virgin. If no blood appeared, the father of the bride could be in serious trouble because he could be charged with failing to maintain the virginity of his daughter. The dowry, monetary compensation, and sometimes an end to the marriage could all be brought into discussion at that point.

In Jewish cultures, once the marriage had been consummated, the couple might return to the wedding festivities to continue partying with their families and friends since wedding feasts often lasted a week or longer.

In the Song of Solomon, the bride and groom were alone, at last, in the bridal chamber. They were there for one purpose, and they both knew it. The bride still had on her veil and embroidered wedding cap to hold it in place. Solomon told her, “Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold, you are fair! You have dove’s eyes behind your veil” (Song 4:1).

He was a smart man. He knew that sex for a woman always begins in her mind, a woman’s most sensitive sexual organ. A woman doesn’t feel the same pressure or insistent urges for sex that a man feels. She gets ready for sexual intimacy through what she thinks and feels, and to a great extent, she thinks and feels the way a man leads her to think and feel. Nothing calms a woman’s fears and excites her passions as much as having a man tell her how wonderful she is. The man told the woman, who just a couple of chapters ago was complaining about her dark skin, how fair she was to him. He liked what he saw, and he told her so. He appreciated her, valued her, acknowledged her beauty, built her up. And he looked deep into her eyes as he spoke. It was a wonderfully intimate moment between the two newly married people. He looked into her soul as a prelude to exploring her body. Solomon has been called the wisest man who ever lived, and in this moment, he exhibited wisdom. He knew how to reach the innermost depths of the woman he had married.

He then began to undress her, starting with her wedding cap. As he removed it from her, the locks of her hair tumbled down freely and sensuously. Many Jewish women have very curly hair, and that is the image depicted here. The locks of her hair were a little wild, a little disheveled, cascading down over her shoulders, just like a flock of goats playfully skipping down the mountains of Gilead. The mountains, on the east side of the Jordan, were known for their excellent grazing land. They were considered a blessing and were occupied by countless flocks and herds. The image is that the man was nuzzling the hair of the woman, his face fully into her long curly locks of hair.

Next came the removal of her wedding veil so that Solomon for the first time had a full view of the face of the woman he had married. In our culture today we would find this nearly unthinkable that a man might marry a woman whose face he had never seen fully. Yet that was customary in Solomon’s time, and in fact, is still the custom in a number of very strict Muslim communities. A woman’s beauty in those communities is considered to be solely for her husband’s pleasure—he is the only man apart from her brothers and father who really knows what she looks like. A man is not allowed the privilege we American men have of shopping around for a wife like customers staring into store windows.

Solomon began to tell her that he liked what he saw. And the good news was that she was responding to him with a wonderful open-mouthed smile of pleasure. How do we know that? Because he complimented her teeth. He said,

Your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep
Which have come up from the washing,
Every one of which bears twins,
And none is barren among them. (Song 4:2)

You and I might not consider that to be a compliment. If a man came to a woman today and said, “Your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep,” the woman would likely feel more offended than complimented. Solomon was noting that she had a marvelous smile, and that her white, even, straight mouth full of teeth was a delight to him. It spoke to him that she had taken care of herself and hadn’t been subjected to disease, abuse, or injury. It spoke to him of her delicacy and her genteel manner. I don’t know of too many women who would desire a compliment on their teeth, but I don’t know of any woman who doesn’t delight to hear the man she loves say to her, “I love your smile. I love the sound of your laughter.” Solomon appreciated her beautiful soul, her beautiful features, and her beautiful expression of joy.

Teeth are part of the mouth, of course, and Solomon was moving in for a kiss. He continued, “Your lips are like a strand of scarlet, and your mouth is lovely” (Song 4:3). This is kissing talk. He was tracing her features with his hands, but also likely tracing them with his mouth as he whispered his approval and appreciation to her: “Your temples behind your veil are like a piece of pomegranate” (Song 4:3).

She was blushing! He liked that. He could tell she was starting to tingle at his touch and respond to his close presence. He moved on down from her face to her neck and said,

Your neck is like the tower of David,
Built for an armory,
On which hang a thousand bucklers,
All shields of mighty men. (Song 4:4)

The woman was standing tall and straight before Solomon—no shame, no bowed head in disgrace. She had an inner strength of character that matched his own. She knew who she was, and as his new bride, she knew who she was in relationship with him. She was not embarrassed by what he was doing, and neither was she rigid under his gaze or his touch. Rather, she was ready for all that he had to say to her. She had a tilt to her head and a sparkle in her eyes, ready for him to explore her further. Such is the unashamed beauty of sexuality in its divine setting.

This bride might have been wearing a necklace that Solomon was undoing as he spoke those words. The “tower of David” was a military structure, and the mighty men in David’s army hung their shields on its exterior during peace times. It was a dramatic expression to all the people in the land that David was prepared for war but was presently at peace. Women’s necklaces at that time were often made of coins or hammered flat pieces of metal, row upon row like a multiple strand of pearls. The woman’s necklace might very well have looked like David’s tower, and she might very well have been like all that the tower symbolized—ready to spring into action to defend what she knew to be hers, and equally ready to be at complete peace with the man she loved.

Notice that up to that point a great deal of sensuality and romance had been going on. The man didn’t just jump out of his chariot and into the bedsheets of the closest motel and overwhelm the woman with his desire for her. He dealt with her tenderly, spoke to her, kissed her, made her feel special and desirable. He built a desire for himself within her mind and heart. He was being romantic.

There is an old, but true, saying: men give romance to get sex; women give sex to get romance. Solomon was doing the right thing by his bride.

What is romance? Most people don’t know what the word means or how it came into being.

During the times of the Roman Empire when Latin was the lingua franca—the official common language for all of the conquered peoples of the Western world—all formal documents were written in Latin, from wedding certificates to coroners’ reports to documents related to proclamations, historic events, and battles.

When the common people spoke, however, of love and poetry and heroism and chivalry, they did not use classic Latin; rather, they used what was called the vulgar tongue. It was the language common to a certain geographic area. It was the language used by the average man in daily conversation. The languages from the area eventually came to be called the Romance languages. They were the languages used for the telling of love stories and tales of chivalry, bravery, and valor. The term romantic, therefore, referred to informal talking and passion as opposed to formal writing and legal transactions.

Men, when you marry, you will sign a wedding license, and you will have a formal “Latin” relationship with your wife. You will be expected to be the family breadwinner, provide the life insurance, give all you can to your family, and take care of your wife until death parts you from each other. But your marriage, if it remains only a “Latin” relationship, will be sterile, boring, and rigid. A woman longs for the lingua franca of passion and romance. Solomon knew that, and he used “romance talk.” He spoke to his bride in terms that she knew and appreciated, and to which she responded with sexual ardor. That’s right—a good marriage has a degree of “vulgarity.”

BUILDING PASSION AND DESIRE

Gary Smalley wrote, “Men are microwaves, women are Crock-Pots.” He’s right, as far as I’m concerned. A man can have sex just about any time and appreciate it in just about any form. A woman, however, heats up slowly. She needs time and tenderness to be ready for sexual intercourse.

Men as a whole seem to be able to appreciate sex as long as they are shown some appreciation and are given a green light. Women, in contrast, have a difficult time appreciating sex if it is completely void of kindness, appreciation, and gentleness.

That’s the way God made us. Men and women are different. If women had the sex drives of men, nothing would get done. The entire world would be having sex all the time. If men had the sex drives of women, we wouldn’t have a population problem.

Solomon was engaged in slow, romantic foreplay with the woman he loved. He moved down from her neck to her breasts, saying, “Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle, which feed among the lilies” (Song 4:5).

Solomon was undressing his bride and expressing appreciation for everything he saw before him. Fawns are young, sweet, and tender—baby gazelles. As I mentioned before, the gazelle is a sleek and graceful animal, very youthful in appearance—lean and taut and always on the alert. The woman’s breasts were youthful in every way. And Solomon treated her just as a person would approach a new fawn— touching her breasts tenderly so as not to frighten or overwhelm her. His touch was gentle. He was moving slowly and cautiously.

That’s a good strategy for every man to take, especially on his wedding night. A guy I knew in college told me about his experience with his wife. He married a girl who had never been kissed before he kissed her. She was extremely inexperienced and shy. He, on the other hand, had fantasized just about every fantasy a guy can come up with, and he was ready to experience all of his fantasies the first night. He told me he came roaring out of the bathroom of their hotel room on their wedding night as if he were Conan the Barbarian and poured out all of his passion on her. He said, “I scared her to death, and it took years of counseling for her to begin to open up and truly appreciate her passion and sexuality.”

Men and women tend to have different parameters about what they consider to be appropriate sexual behavior. How far can a man go? As far as he wants as long as his wife doesn’t feel demeaned in the process. If a woman has a problem with a specific sexual act or position, then a man needs to stop immediately.

When I conduct premarital counseling sessions, I make couples talk about what they believe is appropriate sexual behavior. I ask, “How would you feel about this? What about that?” Some of the couples are embarrassed, but they generally admit to me later that this is a very helpful part of our counseling time. It’s better to give some serious thought to what you like and don’t like, what you’d like to try and not try, and so forth before your wedding night.

It’s also important that both persons be willing to experiment and be flexible to the greatest degree possible in their thinking when it comes to sexual behavior. Sexual intimacy is not a formula. Some men discover that their wives respond to certain types of kisses and strokes more than to others, and they work up a little formula: “Do this, touch there, stroke here, kiss again, and so forth.” And generally speaking, these men are shocked when their formula doesn’t work one night.

Sexual behavior is intended to have an element of spontaneity, surprise, and experimentation to it. It is neither a prescription nor a recipe. A man needs to approach his wife with an awareness that she is a wonderfully creative human being who is subject to changes, whims, emotional highs and lows, and sudden shifts in mood. He is expressing love to a living, vibrant, ever-growing, and ever-changing creature.

Over time, a man will learn certain signals that tell him his wife is approachable. Watch for them. Some couples experience frustration in this area because they don’t have enough signals. One man told me that he knew whether his wife would be interested in having sex that night by what she wore when she came out of the bathroom and climbed into bed. If she was wearing a slinky nightgown, she was in the mood. If she was wearing flannel pajamas, she wasn’t. One woman said to me, “It’s in the aftershave. If he’s wearing aftershave, then I know he wants sex.”

Let me share with you a couple of verses of Scripture that I encourage women to memorize and I admonish men never to quote:

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Cor. 7:4–5)

Let’s deal with the last part of this scriptural passage first. The only time you should deny each other sexual pleasure is when, by mutual agreement, you have set aside a specific and designated time for concentrated fasting and prayer. As soon as that time is over, a normal sexual pattern should resume.

And now for the first part of this passage. Paul knew what men for thousands of years have known. Women do not have the same physical need for sex that men have. There are going to be times in a marriage when a wife must honor her husband by having sex with him in order to satisfy a physical need in his body. There will be times when a husband knows that his wife is only having sex with him because she believes it is the loving and right thing to do; her heart and emotions really aren’t fully desirous of sex in the way he is. According to Paul, there are also times when a wife may feel a need for sex and her husband may not feel that same need. I don’t know too many men who fit that description, but apparently such men exist, and in those cases, a husband needs to honor the need of his wife and give her the sexual satisfaction that she desires. The main point Paul was making is this: wives must put the needs of their husbands before their own needs, and husbands must put the needs of their wives above their own needs. Each must give sacrificially and generously to the other, in sexual behavior and in all other ways in a marriage. Marriage is mostly about giving, not receiving. Only the holy and selfless can truly be great lovers.

Years ago, young women in England were instructed that on their wedding night, they should lie on their backs and think of the queen, meaning that they were to endure sex so that they might conceive babies who would be loyal citizens to the queen and loyal soldiers in her army. What a terrible image! What an unfortunate lack of pleasure for women and for the men who had sex with them.

Thank goodness, the Song of Solomon gives us a much different impression of sex. The Lord desires for His people to experience joyful and mutual sharing and giving.

ALL NIGHT WITH HIS BELOVED

Solomon had this to say about his lovemaking to his bride:

Until the day breaks
And the shadows flee away,
I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh
And to the hill of frankincense. (Song 4:6)

He made love to his bride all night long. Their passion lasted until dawn. The “mountain” and “hill” could be the “hills of separation” in Song of Solomon 2—a reference to her breasts. Or they could be a combined idea of her breasts being the mountain and her genital area the hill. Either way, he was intoxicated with the delights of his wife!

Appreciating His Bride’s Body

In the opening chapter of the Song of Solomon, the woman said to Solomon, “Do not look upon me, because I am dark, because the sun has tanned me” (Song 1:6). What did Solomon say to her after they experienced a night of sexual bliss? “You are all fair, my love, and there is no spot in you” (Song 4:7). He appreciated her body. He praised her appearance and let her know that he found no fault in her.

One of the most painful things a man can ever do to his bride is to see her disrobed for the first time and then say something disparaging about her body. That deep hurt is likely to be one she never forgets. All women tend to be self-conscious about their bodies, and my wife has advised me that every woman has something about her body she would like to change.

Young man, your bride may not be a supermodel in appearance. But she is your bride. She doesn’t need for you to tell her she is the most beautiful creature in all the world. She’ll recognize that as a con and a lie a mile away. She needs to hear that she pleases you, and that as far as you are concerned, she is perfect in your eyes. A woman who truly feels cherished by her husband in all ways is going to give herself to her husband freely and generously. Remember that our heavenly Bridegroom sees us as being without “spot or wrinkle.” (See Eph. 5.)

Moving Toward a Mutual Climax Solomon continued in his passionate lovemaking:

Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse,
With me from Lebanon.
Look from the top of Amana,
From the top of Senir and Hermon,
From the lions’ dens,
From the mountains of the leopards. (Song 4:8)

Solomon was calling to his wife to move from the lowlands where the lions roamed to the mountaintops where the leopards lived. It is a clear description of sexual climax— moving higher and higher to the greatest emotional ecstasy possible. He wanted her not only to be one with him in a physical union, but also to experience the same ecstasy that he was experiencing. He desired for his wife to experience the same release in orgasm that he was about to experience. She was his sexual partner not his plaything. Another interpretation of this text is that Solomon is calling his bride away from everything in life that is frightening to the safety of his love. Or he is urging her to leave her life and become part of a new family. Such is the union that sexual oneness brings.

He continued,

You have ravished my heart,
My sister, my spouse;
You have ravished my heart
With one look of your eyes,
With one link of your necklace.
How fair is your love,
My sister, my spouse!
How much better than wine is your love,
And the scent of your perfumes
Than all spices!
Your lips, O my spouse,
Drip as the honeycomb;
Honey and milk are under your tongue;
And the fragrance of your garments
Is like the fragrance of Lebanon. (Song 4:9–11)

Everything about these three verses speaks of the most intense passion possible. His heart was beating faster and faster. He was kissing her deeply—what we would call a French kiss although it was nineteen hundred years before France was a nation. It was a genuine Hebrew kiss, deep and penetrating. Open-mouth kisses are one of the most sensual acts possible in a marriage union. Solomon was kissing her deeply and intimately.

And then the shift was suddenly to the fact that the woman was still a virgin. Solomon declared it to be so as if he was discovering in their very act of lovemaking that she was a virgin:

A garden enclosed
Is my sister, my spouse,
A spring shut up,
A fountain sealed. (Song 4:12)

In the Bible a man’s sexuality is described as a spring; a woman’s sexuality is described as a well. Solomon was stating very plainly that the woman had not experienced a man’s “spring” within her; her fountain had been sealed off. Her hymen had not been broken. What an exaltation of purity and virginity. How honoring Solomon had been to their sexual limits! But now was the time for that to change:

Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates
With pleasant fruits,
Fragrant henna with spikenard,
Spikenard and saffron,
Calamus and cinnamon,
With all trees of frankincense,
Myrrh and aloes,
With all the chief spices—
A fountain of gardens,
A well of living waters,
And streams from Lebanon. (Song 4:13–15)

The woman was fragrant and moist in her sexual passion as he was reaching sexual climax within her. Their union was complete. Solomon was in his garden.

For some time, the woman had been told not to awaken her passions until she could experience them fully. (“Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases” is a twice-given admonition in earlier chapters.) Now, what did the woman say?

Awake, O north wind,
And come, O south!
Blow upon my garden,
That its spices may flow out.
Let my beloved come to his garden
And eat its pleasant fruits. (Song 4:16)

The north winds are strong; the south winds are gentle. The woman wanted to be awakened completely in all her passion. She wanted to experience all of love there was to experience, and she wanted her husband to experience her fully. She delighted in sexual intimacy with her husband.

A young bride asked me as she sat in the bridal room awaiting the wedding ceremony, “Pastor Tommy, what do I do?” She was wide-eyed and a little scared. Suddenly she was facing the fact that within a few hours, she and her beloved young groom were going to be alone together and embarking on an experience of sexual intimacy. I thought to myself, Now is not the time to be having this conversation!

I said to her, “Whatever you are feeling, tell him.” That was the best advice I could give her at the time, and in retrospect, I have concluded that it was very good advice. A wife needs to respond to her husband by telling him what she likes and doesn’t like, how she’s feeling, and what she desires to feel even more strongly. Solomon’s bride had no trouble in saying to her husband what she wanted. She said, in effect, “Come and have all the sex you want. Come to my garden and eat your fill of my fruit.” She turned it loose.

If I had been able to think fast enough in that moment of crash counseling, I would have also told that young bride, “Consider that every part of you is free and available to your husband. Let him explore all of you.” A man is energized sexually by what he sees and what he feels. If nothing is withheld, he withholds nothing. Solomon’s bride was holding nothing back.

Great sex to a woman is tenderness. To a man, it’s responsiveness. The couple had deeply met their mutual needs.

IN THE AFTERMATH OF SEXUAL UNION

As the fifth chapter of the Song of Solomon opens, the couple had had their fill of lovemaking. Solomon was lying on his back, sighing deeply no doubt, as he said,

I have come to my garden, my sister, my spouse;
I have gathered my myrrh with my spice;
I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey;
I have drunk my wine with my milk. (Song 5:1)

Nine times Solomon called the woman “mine.” Such is biblical sex. The two were now one.

He was completely satisfied. He expressed a complete release of his passion. He was resting in bliss. In that euphoria Solomon called out in his spirit to those outside the bridal chamber, waiting for his emergence: “Eat, O friends! Drink, yes, drink deeply, O beloved ones!” (Song 5:1).

Some believe this is the voice of God, saying to the couple, “Enjoy My gift.” God indeed delights in what delights us. Others believe that Solomon was saying, in effect, “Party on, my friends. Have a second helping of the hors d’oeuvres. Have another glass of wine—in fact, have several. I’m going to be here a while. I’m in no hurry to put an end to this experience, and you’ll just have to be patient. You aren’t going to be seeing me anytime soon.” His beloved bride had invited him to come into her garden and eat to his heart’s delight, and Solomon was more than willing to do just that! He was full and relaxing in the pleasure he had experienced.

When sexual intimacy occurs in right timing and with the right person, from God’s perspective, it is meant to be enjoyed fully. Sex under an alias—in a dark corner, a backseat, or a motel, with a person other than your spouse—is never sex that can be enjoyed to the maximum because there will always be an element of guilt and shame associated with it.

Once you are with your beloved, however, and within the vows of holy matrimony, sex is meant to be a source of pleasure for both the man and the woman. There should be no sense of shame or guilt. Obviously that was the case for

Solomon and his bride. They were enjoying each other immensely. While their friends were partying, they, too, were engaged in their own private party, drinking deeply of their passion and sexuality. To those who think the Bible is against sex: on your most passionate nights you will not approach the romance, tenderness, and passion of biblical, holy sexuality.

Ah, yes, the honeymoon at last!

Questions to Think About or Discuss

1. What issues related to sex do you find difficult to discuss with your beloved?

2. What more do you wish you knew about sexual intimacy? To whom do you intend to go to gain this information?