CHAPTER 12
Taking Different Roads

“Maybe it would be good and fair to Ian if people knew how much love there was between us and what a simple romance it was. We just met and we fell in love and we were very attracted to each other and fell immensely for each other and cared for each other and it could not be prevented. Ian needed me in his life. Love takes people by surprise and it is so chemical when suddenly two people click together.” – Annik Honoré



Annik Honoré1 has maintained an almost complete silence about her relationship with Ian Curtis for these past 25 years. When Lindsay Reade re-established contact with her at the start of the research for this book, it seemed unlikely that she would break her silence. Her response was understandably guarded. She was clearly a private person albeit warm, friendly and kind but really she wanted to leave things at that.

In a letter to Lindsay, she wrote: “I was thinking that I am outside the official story of Ian’s life and do not mind staying like this. I am shy and discreet and have accepted I was not appreciated by Joy Division’s following. Everybody seems to have accepted Debbie’s version and taken it as true and honest and I have come to terms with it. I have come to learn that there is no such thing as the truth or else there are several truths. It all depends from whose point of view you see it and everything is so subjective.”

Shortly after this she sent what she hoped would be a definitive e-mail on the subject of her relationship with Ian: “Ian and I were certainly very close emotionally and felt a lot for each other. I think I just came at the right time when he was in need of comfort, affection, tenderness and that my presence was soothing to him. He was very gentle and very soft and very caring. I think the fact that I was a foreigner was part of the attraction and also the fact that I was very kind and maybe more kind of refined than girls he had met before. Our relationship was very platonic and very pure and romantic but also quite abstract. He felt quite diminished by his disease and quite frightened of how it would evolve. He never said much about Debbie and the little he said was that they had grown apart and that their relationship was over and was even before we met. I must say that at 22 I could not imagine being married, let alone having a child. He told me how much he loved his little daughter and how lovely she was but again it appeared all very unreal. He seemed afraid to hurt her and not being able to look properly after her.”

There was much more in this e-mail but it seemed to be pretty much all Annik wanted to say on the subject. Prior to this contact, she had given a copy of Ian’s letters to a screenwriter named Michael Stock and had answered his questions because he seemed genuinely interested and wanted to have a more clear understanding of who she was and what had occurred between her and Ian. Because he was a complete stranger, it took Annik some time to agree but she was assured he had the support of the band and he came recommended by Michel Duval (who ran Factory Benelux born in Brussels in 1979 and Les Disques de Crepuscule with Annik after Ian’s death). Michael Stock wrote a screenplay for a film about Ian’s life but seemingly it never got off the ground.

Subsequently, another movie screenplay – entitled Control - was mooted and producer Todd Eckhert wrote to Mark Reeder with a plea that he needed to contact Annik and asked if Mark could help him. Mark thought that if a film was going to be made about Ian, then it ought to contain an accurate portrayal of Annik and not just the impression of her that Debbie Curtis might have imagined. Mark hadn’t spoken to Annik for over 21 years and was quite stunned when Todd called him on the phone and, as they were talking, at that very moment he received an e-mail from Annik. He responded by suggesting to her that this was her chance to tell her side of the story. Her initial reluctance wavered when he impressed upon her his belief that talking about it would help her to put the affair behind her and hopefully put her mind at rest.

As a result Annik was persuaded to meet with the director and screenplay writer of the movie, even though she was not, in principle, particularly in favour of the film being made and would have preferred her relationship with Ian to remain a private matter. “I really do not understand why people want to do a movie about Ian’s life,” she says. “It is different with a book but why have someone to play his part and only guess and imitate who he really was? He wanted peace. His life was not a film.”

Later, having read two different drafts of the screenplay Annik would say: “I do not care about any movie. All I hope is that my name is not in it because as I clearly said to Todd I do not relate to any of the dialogue so I don’t see why it should be in my name. All I can see is people wanting to make a movie, just a movie and they seem to feel very righteous that they know it all.”

Mark Reeder, who would go on to have a relationship with Annik after Ian’s death, begs to differ. “I think it’s important the story is set straight for her and her kids too. This is as much her story as it is Ian’s, Debbie’s and the band’s and Factory’s. She is certainly not a groupie, nor is she the kind of person to wilfully want to destroy someone’s marriage or an on-going relationship, as she is actually much too diplomatic. She was always under the impression that Ian’s marriage was virtually over, as this is obviously what Ian had led her to believe. It would be really nice to finally clarify her position in this poignant story. She is a very, very sensitive, lovely person.”

Annik Honoré was born on October 12, 1957, in southern Belgium where she grew up. She was a tomboy when she was young, an outdoor girl who spent much of her free time playing with her dog in a forest near to her home. English was her favourite subject at school and after secondary school she went to a language college for two years, learning English and Spanish. After leaving without sitting her exams, she decided she’d had enough of the countryside and at the age of 20 came to live with a friend in Brussels, where for a few months she worked in an office which wasn’t to her liking. She spent most of her free time listening to rock and pop music, her tastes coinciding with the kind of artists that were championed by New Musical Express, and travelled to Paris, London and Amsterdam to see concerts, including Patti Smith, Siouxsie & The Banshees, The Clash, Generation X, Iggy Pop and David Bowie. Because of her huge enthusiasm for music, she became involved with a Belgian magazine/fanzine called En Attendant.

Since none of the artists she liked ever seemed to play in Brussels Annik decided to relocate to England. She had already visited the country once, spending six weeks of a summer holiday in London attending a college near Sloane Square to improve her English. At the time she’d rented a room in a house in Delvino Road in Parsons Green and so in 1979 she got back in touch with her old landlady. There were two rooms that she rented to students, one small one and a larger one with a bathroom. The larger one wasn’t available but Annik took the small one on the understanding that after the holidays, when the larger one became free, it would be hers. This is where she lived for a year and where Ian Curtis came and slept over once or twice. When she first arrived in London she didn’t have a job and didn’t know where to start looking for one, though she thought initially she might sell jeans on a market stall. The landlady, Miss Freeland, told her about someone she knew at the Belgian Embassy whom Annik might ask about a job. She arranged an interview and it turned out they needed a French speaker. She met the Chancellor, took tests in English, French and Dutch and was duly employed there, beginning in September 1979. She was 21.

Annik first saw Ian on the night of August 13, 1979 at the Nashville Rooms in West London. Because she liked the album Unknown Pleasures so much, she had travelled especially from Belgium to see Joy Division play there. They made a very strong impression on her and she decided to request an interview with Joy Division for the En Attendant fanzine.

“I loved Unknown Pleasures,” she says. “The very first time I heard it, it really moved me. It was very powerful. I had never heard anything like it. Joy Division had style and were simple at the same time. The music and the voice were so intense, they just hit me. Ian’s voice was deep and sombre and the lyrics seemed meaningful. There was an urge to it. I knew I had to see them and that I would not be disappointed.”

Annik, together with a friend named Isabelle, approached the sound engineer at the Nashville Rooms and asked if it would be possible to speak with the group. She then spoke to Rob Gretton who was quite happy for an interview for En Attendant to take place, especially since the fanzine was published abroad. Annik met the band briefly and as they were due to play in London again in two weeks’ time – on August 24 at Walthamstow Youth Club – the interview was arranged for then. This gig was the second at this particular venue, the first having taken place on March 30. Both gigs came about after the band met Dave Pils and Jasmine at the fateful Hope & Anchor show. Jasmine was the youth club organiser and she arranged the gigs. Because they were unable to afford hotels, the group stayed frequently with Jasmine and Pils, who lived in Walthamstow, when they were in London, as they did on this occasion. Dave Pils also became part of the Joy Division road crew, at least for the London gigs at this point.

The interview with Annik and the band lasted four hours and she still has a two-hour tape in her possession. The atmosphere on tape seems very friendly, funny and cheerful. Ian and Steve’s strong regional accents stand out and, to a lesser-trained ear, their voices sound quite similar. Ian’s voice is the more high-pitched, which is odd, considering the depth of his singing voice. Someone says “Mee gee-taahhr” for “my guitar”. They are clearly enjoying the attentions of this beautiful foreigner, who was asking rather unusual questions for a rock interview, and it began with a discussion about Siouxsie & The Banshees. Annik was a huge fan and actually went to around 100 of their gigs. Rob’s comforting and amusing drawl rambles away. There is no mistaking him. Ian asks Annik what she thinks of films. Barney asks if she has a favourite. She mentions Woody Allen. “Do you like horror films?” she asks the group. “Some are just laughable,” replies Steve. Ian says something about the film Eraserhead - that it got him thinking. Rob makes a joke about the chicken in this film (when all the blood comes out of it) and compares it to a visit to a chip shop.

Later on Annik asks: “Do you believe in love?” Someone breaks into a song: “I believe in…” (Buzzcocks). Annik wonders what the boys think of make-up. Although Ian admits to having worn it when he was younger, he says he likes girls who can look attractive without any. At one point in the interview, after Rob has been light-heartedly discussing the ethics of religion, a kettle is heard to be merrily whistling away and Jasmine makes tea. (Annik remembered what a lovely girl she was.) A few moments later there is another comforting sound as Bowie’s album Low is put on the turntable. This was Ian and Annik’s favourite album. Everyone sounds happy and ebullient in the way that only the young can be, when life holds so much promise, when disappointment is just a word and death is so far away as to be unimaginable.

Later Annik would remark about this interview: “We talked about marriage, children, love, death and health without having any idea that two months later we would go out together. It was then that I found out more about him being epileptic, although I thought he was after seeing him on stage, being married to Debbie for five years, Natalie. All the ‘problems’ or ‘difficulties’ were approached without knowing they would become such obsessions in our lives, such barriers.”

According to Terry Mason, after this interview the whole band slept on the floor, on sisal matting, all in the same room.

The relationship between Annik and Ian developed slowly after this first meeting. They became friends gradually, meeting one another at various London gigs and certain regional shows. Their next meeting was at the Leeds Sci-Fi Festival on September 8, and by this time Annik was living in London.

Her enthusiasm for music in general and for Joy Division in particular was huge and, with a fellow enthusiast called Michel Duval, she began making tentative arrangements for the group to play their first gig abroad, at a venue called Plan K, which was about to open in Brussels.

And a spark had been lit between her and Ian. Annik: “There was some electricity in the air every time we would see each other, every time we looked at each other.”

It is a measure of Joy Division’s speedy rise to prominence that gigs were now beginning to flow thick and fast, leading towards a full-scale commitment during October when they would support Buzzcocks on a full-length British tour.

On August 31, the band performed at London’s Electric Ballroom, a venue whose size reflected the fact that they were becoming established on the London circuit, this being the kind of venue that would host shows by bands like Siouxsie & The Banshees. Terry recalls that because of Joy Division’s increased status the promoter at this gig provided something they had not really seen before – a rider! Because they were from ‘up North’ it included cans of Mackeson stout, a drink favoured by the elderly. To everyone’s surprise, Barney was quite partial to it.

There was an eclectic bill that night featuring sets from Scritti Politti, Monochrome Set and A Certain Ratio, thereby placing four of the most intriguing bands of an intriguing era on the same bill. It was also the occasion of Joy Division’s largest singular audience to date, with reportedly 1,200 stuffed into the famous Camden Town venue. The restlessness of that particularly vociferous crowd during the support acts also offered a strong hint of Joy Division’s impending advancement. As Ian danced at the front of the stage, the mood changed from edgy restlessness to a bouncing and adoring mass.

The next day, September 1, saw the band recording two songs for BBC2’s Something Else television programme, which was broadcast on September 15; ‘Transmission’ followed by a frenzied rendition of ‘She’s Lost Control’. This was filmed on Oxford Road in Manchester and the group had to be there by midday which meant an early start after a very late gig in London. The group were all somewhat the worse for wear, not least because of the new found luxury of a rider, which was unlikely to be conducive to Ian’s health.

Something Else was one of the first of the so-called ‘Yoof TV’ shows, a mix of music and chat, fun enough to enliven a Tuesday evening though dogged by the technical shortcomings of the day. Television at the end of the Seventies had an infuriating inability to effectually present a ‘live’ performance by a rock act in anything approaching a flattering setting.

As with so many similar recordings, and most local television encounters with rock music, each instrument would be separated to create an overall diluted effect1. As such, when Joy Division fans across the country who had been entranced by the band’s mesmeric live sets settled down to watch their favourite band on television – more often than not overseen by curious and unimpressed parents – they witnessed little more than a band battling against the tide.

Joy Division was on with The Jam (performing ‘Going Underground’) for this half hour programme. As the camera swung to catch Tony Wilson enthusiastically exploding with superlatives about them, it also caught a confused Steve Harley from Cockney Rebel, who, in an unbecoming and unexpected lack of grace, could only utter, “These kids can’t play their instruments.”

Even if true, Harley missed the point by a country mile. And Steve Harley of all people – a former rock journalist. Surely he should have known better than that?2 Not that his comment appeared to phase the band who approached the show with a display of almost wide-eyed innocence. Nevertheless, true to form, Hooky would later state that he thought Harley was an “… arrogant old twat”. Almost a compliment, really.

The alternative event of the year in 1979 was Futurama at Queen’s Hall, Leeds – in a big old indoor market hall – which followed on September 8. To many who attended, however, Futurama was a full-on nightmare of hideous proportions. The entire population of post-punk Britain, it seemed, was crammed into a giant bean can and draped across a singularly uninviting floor. It was Leigh Festival in reverse. Back then, all space and light; at Futurama, black and crammed, twelve angry drinkers deep at every bar, sallow speed-freak faces clutching beer cans and hollow sexist whooping as Altered Images, fronted by Clare Grogan, took to the stage. Many understandably questioned the use of the phrase ‘scifi’ in the context of this event, for this was a positively Dickensian scene. Nevertheless, it was refreshing to see bands like A Certain Ratio performing before a huge and swaying crowd, even if the days of spitting at bands had not entirely receded. It was one of ACR’s finest gigs, if memory serves. They injected a ferocious funk into the dead shell that was Queen’s Hall.

Jeremy Kerr from A Certain Ratio recalls the event and the era with special fondness: “It was one of the great things about that time. The fact that there were genuinely a great many interesting bands but also that there were people in place who would allow us to play in some of the most extraordinary places. We will always be grateful for that period, for being given the chance to play to so many people. 1979 was an excellent time all round. I am not sure we all appreciated how lucky we were.”

At Futurama, Joy Division performed with supreme confidence that immediately distanced themselves from the remainder of the bands on a huge two-day bill which featured just about every act of the post-punk genre, be it Scritti Polliti, Cabaret Voltaire, Gang Of Four, The Pop Group and the surly, defiant Public Image Ltd. For sheer attitude alone, Pil would claim the gold medal, but few fans who left that vast and soulless venue were in any doubt about the leading act of the day… it was Joy Division and by a big margin.

“We were second on the bill to Pil,” says Terry. “John Lydon had us cleared from the back stage area because they were so big yet when the reviews came out we were the stars of the show.”

Although the Festival is remembered by all who attended as a fairly grim experience, there was an intangible presence about Joy Division and, in particular, Ian Curtis at this point in their career. His charisma simply grabbed the attention, and while the edginess of his performance may have been in part due to his apparently worsening condition, it certainly racked up the tension. Many who stared at him in wonderment were lost in twin states of curiosity and admiration.

Joy Division’s set on this occasion – ‘I Remember Nothing’, ‘Wilderness’, ‘Transmission’, ‘Colony’, ‘Disorder’, ‘Insight’, ‘Shadowplay’, ‘She’s Lost Control’, ‘Atrocity Exhibition’ and ‘Dead Souls’- would surface on numerous bootlegs which, for the most part, captured a band in ferocious form in front of a massive festival-sized crowd.

Following Futurama, on September 22, there was a return gig at the Nashville Rooms in London’s Earls Court, and for Barney, Hooky, and Steve, who were all still in full-time employment, this meant a half day off work followed by a return to work the following morning. At this point the group were still using the van that had been purchased by Hooky and taken on the European holiday in 1978, and it had carried the gear to all Joy Division gigs since. He and Terry generally shared the driving between them, and although it wasn’t pretty or fast, it still carried them wherever they needed to go.

“The weekend before I’d been helping Hooky and his brother Chris put a new clutch in the van,” recalls Terry. “We were coming home from the Nashville Room gig on the M1, the van was probably struggling to do 55, something like that, cos it was knackered and just as the M69 joins the M1 or where it joins the M6 we noticed this truck was coming on by the slip road and the thing just hit us – smack into the back of the van. Fortunately the van had shit tyres. If it had tyres that had any grip we would have turned over, as it was we slid from one barrier to the next (the central reservation barrier to the one at the side). The back doors flew open and the equipment started flying out of the back. The rest of the band were coming behind in Steve’s car and Steve’s seeing his drum kit came flying out of the van and almost hit his car.”

Hooky was driving at this point with Terry beside him in the front. A roadie called Twinny usually travelled in the van with them but fortunately for him he wasn’t present that night. “Twinny would have gone in the back of the van with the equipment cos he could sleep anywhere,” says Terry. “If he had been there he would have gone out of the back and been dead.”

As a result of the accident Steve needed to acquire a new drum kit. “Hooky lost a bass cab out there,” says Terry. “It was the first stuff that we had so Steve’s drum kit wasn’t in flight cases – which we had later on – they were just in fibre cases so going from nought to sixty miles an hour on concrete didn’t do them any good. He had these sort of elliptical drums. It turned out the truck driver had just fallen asleep. The tractor units of artics rock a bit and it must have rocked him to sleep. He kept saying there was no need to worry about calling the police and there was nothing much wrong with the van. We’d almost been killed, there was equipment all over the road, and this truck driver didn’t think we needed to bring in the police.”

The van was written off, Steve’s drums and Hooky’s bass cab were fire-wood, but no one was hurt – not even a claim for whiplash!

After this accident the band decided to purchase flight cases for their equipment. Terry Mason recalls this being another excuse for them to exercise their endearing sense of fun, specifically on the slight incline of Little Peter Street, outside TJ Davidson’s rehearsal rooms. “Once you’ve got flight cases the first thing you realise is how much fun they actually are,” says Terry. “They’re made to be safe and built to protect the things inside so they made good toboggans on the street. Ian hated foam rubber so it was weird that he got in one. There were these little kids who used to hang round TJ’s and we’d put them in, close the lid and roll them down the road that TJ’s was on. There mustn’t have been many cars about then.”

1 Pronounced Honourey

1 This was no different from each instrument being miked up separately for live shows. The challenge was that TV recording engineers had been trained to produce a ‘clean’ sound and would have built up a ‘traditional’ sound mix, i.e. vocals and guitar up front.

2 Ironically, Harley was a one-time idol of Ian Curtis, who had previously cited Cockney Rebel’s ‘Judy Teen’ as one of his favourite songs. Nor was Ian alone in this. Hooky, Terry and Barney had all tried to see Cockney Rebel at Salford University but had been refused admission as it was a Student Only gig, this refusal perhaps helping shape the band’s negative attitude towards college gigs.