FORGIVE ME FATHER FOR I HAVE SINNED

“How long since your last confession?”

“Uh … like thirty years at least.”

“What do you wish to confess?”

“When I was eighteen years old I passed up a chance to see Econochrist, Filth, Sam I Am, and Green Day, so that I could go see Social Distortion instead.”

“Leave.”

“Excuse me?”

“Leave this holy place now, ya bastard! Go from here, and never return. May your soul burn in eternal hellfire!”