It was almost dawn when Illyan arrived at The Manor. Esla had already retired to her chambers, and she had locked herself in her room to be alone.
She was overwhelmed with so many emotions that she couldn’t think. It was making her angry. She wanted to get rid of her emotions. She wanted to feel that blessed numbness she’d felt when Ellen turned. But the emotion was still too raw.
She sat in her chair, staring into the darkness. She kept trying to push the emotions out of her head, but the harder she tried, the stronger the emotions became. It was infuriating.
A quiet knock startled her. She thought it must be Ellen, alone and afraid, and she intended to teach her a lesson. Hastily, she threw open the door. But it was not Ellen, it was Illyan.
“May I come in?” he said quietly.
“No,” she said sharply, closing the door in his face.
Again, he knocked quietly on the door. Esla impatiently opened the door and glared at him.
“What do you want?” she snarled.
“I wanted you to come to my room so we could talk,” he told her.
“Forget it,” she hissed. “I don’t want to see you.”
She started to close the door in his face again, but Illyan’s strong hand came up and blocked the door. He pushed his way into her room and closed the door behind him.
“You’re my wife, and you will not keep me from your company when I wish to be in it!” Illyan growled at her.
“If I was your wife, I would gladly be in your company!” shouted Esla.
“To speak to me that way is treason,” Illyan reminded her. “I could have you banished for this!”
“Then do it!” she dared him.
“What has happened to you?” he asked. “You’re acting like Ayis!”
“Good!” Esla snapped. “She doesn’t take any crap from you, and I’m sick of playing he good little wife while she gets away with talking to you any way she wants!”
“She doesn’t get away with…” Illyan began.
“Don’t start that!” Esla screamed. “She gets away with everything! She screams at you in front of everyone and you do nothing! Everyone talks behind your back about how you let her talk to you. It’s an embarrassment.”
Anger swelled within Illyan’s breast. A lump filled his throat, and his fists were clenched so tightly he nearly drew blood from his palms.
“How dare you speak to me this way?” Illyan shouted back at her. “Why are you acting in such a manner?”
“You dare ask me that after all you have put me through?” she said, looking him straight in the eye. “You have some nerve!”
Illyan was dumbfounded. He could not understand why this woman who had loved him so deeply and so tenderly was now spitting nothing but venom in his face.
She had never spoken to him the way she had in the past few weeks. She has always been so sweet and so gentle. She’d been patient and understanding even when he repeatedly turned away her advances. Why now was she so bitter and distant?
“Esla, I need you,” he said quietly.
For a very brief moment, she thought he was trying to say he loved her and he wanted to be with her. It took her breath away. Then she realized he meant the same thing he always had… that he needed her gift.
“Forget it, Illyan. I’d rather die than help you,” Esla said, glaring at him with utter disdain.
Illyan sighed, and turned to leave. Perhaps he’d been wrong to try to get rid of her human emotions. He thought it would help her see more clearly, but now he realized that maybe those emotions really were the key to unlocking her true potential. What had he done?
Illyan found himself confronted by Ayis in the corridor. He rolled his eyes, not in the mood for more conflict. He just wanted to be alone.
“Not now,” he groaned, thrusting his palm into her face.
“I’m headed to my chambers,” Ayis told him, rushing past him as if he wasn’t even there.
For the first time, Illyan felt the strange sensation of loneliness. Even Ayis wanted nothing to do with him that night, and he felt the bitter sting as he closed the door to his chamber to spend the day sleeping by himself.
Meanwhile, Esla was flitting about her room like an angry butterfly. She could not sit still. She paced about the room frantically, perhaps trying to run away from her emotions.
The conflicted feelings in her head were driving her mad. She wanted so badly to run to Illyan and tell him how sorry she was. She still loved him so much. But her love was somehow turning bittersweet. Where there was love, there was now also hate. How could two such opposing emotions come together in one explosive moment? It was absolutely maddening.
She thought back to the moment in Abe Alver’s house when she’d felt his manhood against her leg. It had ignited a burning passion within her that she’d almost forgotten existed. All those years of trying to push her passion into the back of her mind as Illyan pushed her away from him had taught her to suppress it. But it was still there, like a dying ember waiting for a breath of life to bring it back to a full blaze.
She crawled into bed and pulled the covers over her head. If she could not make the emotions go away, she would just sleep. It was the only way she felt she could get away from it all. After an excruciating few minutes, she finally drifted to sleep.
At some point later in the day, Esla was awakened by the sound of her door being broken open. She sat up with a start, screaming in spite of herself. Sweat poured down her body – a rarity these days. The more her human blood was suppressed, the fewer things like this happened. She was drenched.
Illyan rushed through the open door and sat beside her. He looked concerned.
“What’s going on?” she asked, confused.
“You were screaming,” he replied. “I could hear you all the way down the hall! Are you hurt?”
She thought for a moment, and her mind was pulled back into the dream he’d just awakened her from when he burst through the door.
She saw the horrible, fat face, and those bushy, black eyebrows. She watches – helpless – as the stake was plunged into Illyan’s chest, and his body began to fall over the precipice.
“No!” she screamed, in spite of herself.
Illyan instinctively put his arms around her as he had on many occasions before. It always seemed to comfort her. For a brief moment, it did. She felt herself getting lost in his arms, and she felt that ember growing deep within her.
“Stop!” she yelled, pushing him away.
She scurried past him and ran out the door. Illyan tried to grab her arm, but she was too quick. Before he knew it, she was gone.
Illyan sat on her bed for several minutes. He half expected her to come running through the door and to jump into his arms as she’d done so many times before. But not this time. This time, she was really gone.
He headed back to his room. He thought he would give her some space, and that maybe she would feel better later. Still, he wondered what had made her scream so, and why she looked so terribly frightened when he’d kicked open her door.
That night, when it was time to feed, Esla was not there. Ellen had come out of her room at eight, as Esla had instructed her to do. She looked nervous and alone.
“Are you lost?” Illyan asked her.
“I…” she started to say. She didn’t know how to address him.
“Have you seen Esla?” Illyan asked.
“N… no…” Ellen said nervously.
“That’s strange…” Illyan said, his voice trailing off.
He turned around, disoriented and confused. Esla had never gone off like this. She’d always been there when he woke up. It was odd not having her around. He started down the hallway to go look for her.
“P… Please…” Ellen said nervously. “What should I do?”
“Return to your room and wait for your mistress,” Illyan instructed.
Ellen nodded, and she turned and headed back toward her room. She was very hungry, but she would not disobey her beloved mistress – not for anything in the world.
Illyan began to worry about Esla. She was so strange lately. First, she’d asked him to kill her, then she’d eagerly taken human lives with seemingly no remorse. He was happy to see her losing some of her humanity, but he was also afraid she might do something stupid and get herself staked. He still needed her gift for the coming war. Her petulant behavior was becoming dangerous.
Esla had gone into town. Standing outside the saloon, she watched the men walk by. She eavesdropped on their conversations, waiting for the right moment.
Finally, a drunk staggered out of the saloon and yelled back to a drinking companion, “Yeah, you better beat her ass good when you get home, Charlie! Can’t go lettin’ your woman back talk you that way!”
Esla’s eyes flashed with their usual fire behind her cloaked face, and she watched the drunk stumble down the road.
“Damned bitches,” he muttered. “Good for nothing women ain’t worth nothing.”
Esla pulled the front of her dress down to expose more of her breasts, and then she walked up behind the drunken man.
“Excuse me, sir,” she said sweetly.
He turned to face her, and his eyes slowly moved from her beautiful face down to her partially exposed breasts.
“Yes, ma’am?” he asked.
“Would you happen to know of a place I could stay for the night? I don’t have any money to stay at the hotel, and I just need somewhere to stay tonight. My sister was supposed to pick me up at the depot, but she never showed up, and I haven’t anywhere to stay,” she said, blinking bashfully at him.
“Where’s your bags?” he asked.
“Oh, I left them at the depot. The nice man there said he’d keep them safe for me until tomorrow,” she lied.
“Well, I reckon you can stay at my place tonight,” he said, eyeballing her like a piece of meat.
“Oh, I’d be ever so grateful,” she said, smiling angelically at him.
She followed him back to his smelly little shack. He stumbled inside, and he held the door open so she could follow him. He lit the lantern and placed it back on the table.
“Only got one bed, so I hope that’s okay with you,” he said, grinning slyly.
“I suppose it will have to do,” she answered. “But where will you sleep?”
“Well now,” he said, leering at her. “You see, that’s the thing. Ain’t no free rides in this town. The hotel costs a heap o’ money, and there ain’t nowhere else I know of to sleep.”
“Well, yes, I know,” she said, feigning stupidity. “That’s why I was asking you for a place to stay. It’s just for one night.”
“Yeah, I know it’s just one night,” he said. “But you figure on paying me somehow, don’t you?”
“Oh, yes, of course!” she said. “I can pay you as soon as my sister picks me up tomorrow. How much will I owe you?”
“Well, now,” he started. “I can’t really risk that, can I? By your own admission, you’re new around here. What if there ain’t no sister, and you leave tomorrow without paying me?”
“Oh, I see your point,” agreed Esla. “But however can I pay you?”
He grinned at her and moved closer. He put his arm around her and smelled her neck.
“Oh, I see,” Esla said. “Well, I don’t suppose I have any choice in the matter, now do I?”
“I suppose not,” he said, eyeing her lustily. “If you’d rather have a bed to sleep in instead of an alley.”
“Well, then let’s get to it,” Esla said, dropping her dress to the floor in one swift movement.
The sight of her naked body in the flickering lantern light excited the drunken man, and he eagerly threw off his clothes, hopping into bed. As she snuggled her bare body against his, she once again felt that deep longing to be with him. He was hairy, and he smelled like cheap liquor, but he was not altogether unattractive. She was overcome with lust.
He pulled her closer to him and fondled her breast. It felt exhilarating. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, and she found herself kissing him back. It felt incredible to be wanted so badly. No one had ever really wanted her with such passion before.
His touch, his kiss… it drove her wild. She again felt the rush of a hard manhood pressing against her leg, and she wanted desperately to touch it. He moved his head down and began to kiss her breast, sucking her nipple. She felt a strange tingling spread throughout her body. She wanted this.
But still, it was not right. As desperately as she wanted to feel what it was like, she could not betray Illyan. It was not this smelly, drunken human she wanted to be with. It was her husband.
The sickening crunch of flesh ripped through the room as her fangs sunk deep into the artery of his neck, and she heard the familiar blood-curdling scream as the pain overtook him. He struggled desperately against her, and finally went limp beneath her.
She dressed herself, and as she headed toward the door, she brushed against the lantern, knocking it off the table and onto the rug below.
“Oops,” she said, giggling behind her hand.
She closed the door behind her, and headed off into the night. She felt full and satisfied, and she felt no remorse.