I’ve described negotiation as a game. There are rules, but beyond the rules are strategies and tactics to achieve your goals and do something important. Like any game, winning is the ultimate goal; that’s why you enter the negotiation in the first place. But unlike most games, we like to see the counterparty win too—a win-win. That’s not the primary goal of a negotiation, but it’s an important strategy. Letting the counterparty win too is a strategy that helps us get what we want, and it’s a strategy that helps everyone get through the negotiation more quickly.
But win-win isn’t the only strategy, and it doesn’t begin to cover the topic of tactics. As the saying goes, the “devil is in the details.” You must not only know your stuff but, like a good game-player, you must also be able to envision your moves—sometimes several moves in advance—to keep the game going your way. Like any game, it works best to have an all-inclusive understanding of the game so that you can be aware of what’s going on and gain and preserve your advantage.
This in turn requires preparation. It’s not just about the rules of the game per se. It’s about developing a thorough understanding of the question at hand, the topic of the negotiation. It’s about knowing the facts, understanding the nuanced “gray areas” and unknowns around the facts, understanding your team, understanding your counterparty, and even being familiar with the very “ground” or venue in which the negotiation will occur. Any shortfall in preparation in any of these areas can create awkwardness—which in turn may create weaknesses your opponent can exploit.
Before doing any research into the facts, figures, and dynamics of a negotiation, it’s important to visualize what you want out of the negotiation. If you’re negotiating for a bridge construction contract, you may have a dollar figure in mind, with associated construction times, crew deployments, and other details to go with it. If you’re negotiating with your fifteen-year-old about cleaning up his own dishes, you want to achieve that outcome, but you want to do it in a positive, nurturing way—no hard feelings. Sizing up these “musts” and “wants” all works toward setting goals, which in turn becomes a framework for the negotiation.
The essence is “seeing” the outcome. Try to imagine what a finished deal will look like, then work backward through the negotiation process, the back and forth, the give and take, all the way to the facts and information you’ll bring into the negotiation. Of course, you can’t visualize everything, but the vision will help you organize your thoughts and be better prepared to cover the gaps—the unknowns—when they come into view.
Organizing your thoughts around a vision of the negotiation will give both your research and your day-of-show performance some direction and purpose. It provides focus. It’s always better to start with something rather than nothing, and the more you have in hand through preparation, the easier the task, the smoother the process, and the more likely you’ll achieve the outcome you want—the end goal you visualized in the first place.
In contrast, if you walk into a negotiation unprepared, unsure, and undecided on what you hope to achieve, the counterparty—especially if a seasoned negotiator—will seize upon this opportunity to dominate the negotiation and make it all about her needs. Additionally, because you’re unsure about the facts or the final outcome you want, you’ll be unarmed in the face of the many concessions likely to be demanded of you.
To help determine the “end in mind” you want, you might start setting goals and strategies by asking yourself the following questions:
• What do I hope to achieve in the negotiation?
• What is my main goal? The best outcome?
• What are my secondary goals?
• What are my “musts” and “wants”?
• What can prevent me from being successful?
• What are the likely specific stumbling blocks?
• How can I overcome these stumbling blocks?
• What preparatory steps can I take to make the negotiation quick and successful?
Obviously these questions are at a very general level and can be modified according to the specifics of the negotiation. But they’re a good place to start.
Even the simplest of negotiations, like that with your adolescent son over doing his dishes, merit this treatment in part. Think it through. What are your goals and desired outcomes? What will get in the way of a successful negotiation? What are the likely stumbling blocks? Even for such a five-minute (or less!) negotiation, this thought process can help a lot.
About Setting Goals—Keep It Real
Set realistic goals. If a goal is too far out of reach, you’ll feel as if you failed if you don’t accomplish it, when in reality the goal just wasn’t attainable. A goal too far out of reach prevents the win-win. Why? Because your opponent can’t come up with anything good enough for your side without compromising his own position. It’s also important to be as specific as possible with your goals so that you can track progress toward achieving them.