Those with extensive experience at almost anything soon realize—and will often advise—that the best way to learn what to do in a particular situation is to consider what not to do. Want to live a healthy lifestyle? Here’s what not to do—don’t eat too many carbs and don’t sit on the couch all day. It’s a surprisingly simple formula for success in many aspects of life.
So it is for negotiating. Whether you’re an experienced negotiator or are the new kid on the block, negotiating can be intimidating, confusing, and even frustrating. You are bound to make a few mistakes along the way. It’s a natural part of the process of learning and perfecting your technique.
Even the most experienced negotiators learn from every negotiation. Like a game of chess, every negotiation unfolds differently, and there are lessons, nuances, and style points to be learned. You’ll learn over time as you negotiate again and again, just as you honed your parenting techniques or leadership style after years of experience. Some of these corrections will happen “over-the-board” during every negotiation.
These fine-tuning efforts will happen naturally. That said, it’s worth taking a few minutes to study and internalize some of the more common, and more serious, negotiating mistakes and pitfalls so that you can avoid them. Those mistakes and pitfalls are summarized in this chapter.