Fourteen

“I not only respect you. I love you.” The words had echoed in Juli’s thoughts every day since Alan had walked out the door. She missed him with all her heart.

When she’d finally checked her cell phone, she’d noticed how many times Alan had called the night she’d stayed with Megan. He’d left a message on her home telephone, as well. She’d tossed his reasoning around in her mind, looking at it one way and then another, often accepting what he said then negating it. The issue had grown from the proverbial molehill to a mountain.

Alan had sent her another bouquet, and she wondered if he’d learned that from Tom. Again her trust wavered while she made two steps forward and one back. She’d been more depressed than she could have imagined. She’d talked often with Megan, who had told her Alan was a mess at work.

Yet Alan had kept his promise. He hadn’t called in twelve days, but she wished he would. Until the day he walked out, he’d never said he loved her, although her senses told her he did. One thing she knew for sure—she loved him with all her heart. So why had she let this drag on so long?

Because, to Juli, a relationship that seemed to be leading to marriage was to be taken seriously and with thought. She sensed God had led her to Alan, but she wanted to know it was true and not just her own desire. Megan and Tom’s relationship had progressed, and it gave her hope. Tom had begun attending church, Megan told her, and they had agreed to go slowly. From what she could tell, they were following the agreement no matter how much human nature tried to take control. Juli guessed they would be engaged before the end of the year.

While recuperating, she’d filled out her application for the university. Her father admitted the store had been surviving well without her being in it every day. She could still do inventory, ordering, scheduling, and overseeing. Computers were amazing.

Juli eased herself from the recliner, but overcome for a moment with dizziness, she grabbed a crutch and steadied herself then made her way into the kitchen. She had graduated from having her mother bring up food to preparing some things on her own. Doing things for herself felt good. When she opened the refrigerator, she felt the room rock. The refrigerator door swung back then slammed shut, hitting her and throwing her off balance. She toppled to the floor. They were having an earthquake, she realized as she struggled to right herself.

Before she’d pulled herself up, her mother’s voice sailed from the living room. “Are you okay, Juli?”

“I’m fine, Mom.”

Her mother appeared in the kitchen doorway. “It’s an aftershock.”

“I know. Can you help me up? The refrigerator door whacked me.”

On her feet again, Juli made her way back to the living room, where her mother turned on the TV. “How close is it?”

“An earthquake hit Morgan Hill.”

“That’s only ten miles from Gilroy.”

“Hush,” her mother said, waving at her.

Juli balanced on her crutch, feeling a rumble that knocked a picture cockeyed on the wall. She made her way to the chair, sat down, and listened to the newscaster.

“The last earthquake measured 4.5 on the Richter scale,” he said.

“Let’s watch the program downstairs, Mom.”

Her mother rose and clicked off the TV. “I want to call your dad and see if he’s okay.” She crossed the room to Juli’s side. “Let me help you.”

As Juli stood, another aftershock rattled through the building and sent the vase of flowers Alan had given her tumbling to the floor.

❧

Alan had been counting the days. Only two days to go and he could call Juli, and by then, he prayed, she would forgive him for his error and, most of all, trust him. On working days the time didn’t drag as much as it did on his days off. He’d cleaned his apartment twice in the past days, trying to find things to do that would take his time.

How had he spent his time before Juli? He couldn’t remember, but he knew his life had revolved around his work with an occasional date that always left him wishing he hadn’t gone. Dates seemed to set up expectations, but that had never happened with Juli. They met and fell into step like two old friends who’d been apart but had come together again. They shared so many things. Even their opposites seemed compatible.

Alan sank into his favorite easy chair, stacked the morning paper in a jumble at his feet, and reached for the TV remote. He never watched TV during the day, but he couldn’t stand the quiet any longer. He pushed the power button, and as the picture and voice came in, he stared at the screen. A 4.5 earthquake in Morgan Hill. He raised the volume.

“Aftershocks are being felt as far away as Gilroy with some damage being reported in some areas. Let’s go live to Ron Brice in Watsonville.”

Alan lowered the volume and grabbed his cell phone. He punched in Juli’s apartment and heard the answering machine kick in. He hung up and tried her cell phone. The phone rang three times followed by the voice-mail message. “Where are you?” he yelled into the air. He waited a moment, knowing it still took Juli awhile to get to the phone, and tried the numbers again. Nothing. She didn’t answer.

He snapped off the TV. He didn’t care how many days he was supposed to wait. If she didn’t answer, then he was going to her. He wouldn’t take a chance. Alan dashed from his apartment, jumped into his car, and headed up Highway 1 through Castorville then took Highway 101 toward Gilroy. He switched on the radio and listened to the news accounts—one bridge was down and a few buildings damaged. He pushed the button for another station.

Traffic slowed going into Gilroy, and he took a cutoff to Juli’s house, hoping he’d made the right decision. When he arrived, everything looked normal, but as he stepped from the car, he felt the rumble from an aftershock and waited for it to pass. He darted toward the staircase and rang Juli’s bell. He tried the door and opened it, calling as he did. No sound.

He ran down the steps and headed for her parents’ front door. Before he rang the bell, Mrs. Maretti pulled it open. “She’s in the family room, Alan.”

“I’m sorry, but I heard about the earthquake, and I—”

Her mother nodded silently and gestured down the hall.

“Thank you.” He hurried past the open staircase and stepped through the family room archway.

Juli was seated in an easy chair, her leg propped on an ottoman, but her back was straining forward. He guessed she’d heard his voice. Now that he was here, he felt foolish. “I was worried,” he said, his voice sounding hollow in his ears. “Are you okay?”

She shook her head no, and he faltered. “What is it?” He shifted to her side.

“I miss you,” she said, tears brimming in her eyes.

He knelt beside her. “And I’ve missed you so much.”

She opened her arms, and he fell into her embrace. Her tears dampened his cheek as he drew her as close as he could, whispering all the things he’d held in his heart for so long. Finally he pulled back and looked into her shining eyes. “Do you forgive me?”

“Do you forgive me?”

They needed no answer. He clasped her hands in his then wove his fingers through hers, something he’d longed to do since the day he’d walked away from her door feeling empty.

“I understand,” she said, running her finger from his jaw to his lips.

He kissed her finger and held it there so he could kiss it once more. “Let’s never let this happen again.” He lowered his hand and brushed her cheek.

“Never,” she agreed. “My devotional today really spoke to me.”

“What did it say?”

“ ‘Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You.’ I realized by trusting God I can also trust you with my whole heart, because He gave you to me in an amazing way. There we were at a soup kitchen, a place for giving to others, and that day the Lord gave me you.”

“And today I promise you my unfailing love.”

His lips met hers in the sweetest kiss she could ever remember, and when he drew back, she kissed him again. Kisses were meant for love, and so were they.