“There’s nowhere to put the mug.” The excuse sounded lame to Maya’s ears and she winced. Would Alex see right through her?
Alex rose from the porch swing and walked to the other side of the porch, where there were two chairs and a little table. He picked up the table and brought it over and placed it on the side of the porch swing. He set his mug down, smiled at her and said, “There you go.”
Okay, he’d made it hard for her to not acquiesce. It would be rude to move all the way across the porch to the set of chairs, especially now that he’d gone to the trouble to move the table. Besides, there was a part of her that really did want to sit next to him, to lean into him, to let him be strong for her and for Brady. Maybe she could absorb some of that strength.
When he resumed his seat on the swing, she carefully sat down. She held her mug in both hands. She heard his soft chuckle. She glanced up at him.
“Now, that wasn’t so hard,” he said. She shifted and put her mug on the little table. Sitting back, she tried to relax. His arm came across the back of the swing and his fingers gently touched the top of her biceps.
For a moment, she held herself still, then gave in to the overwhelming need to melt against him. She liked this. It seemed natural and right. Comfortable, yet thrilling. With the toe of his cowboy boot, he sent the swing gently rocking back and forth.
They were content to sit there, the quiet of the Colorado night wrapping around them with the stars twinkling in the heavens like little diamonds against black velvet. The air had turned crisp and cool, indicators that winter was fast approaching.
“Are you cold?” he asked.
She should have been. But she wasn’t. The hot chocolate had warmed her from the inside and being this close to Alex was warming her from the outside. She was content. At peace for the moment. She lifted her face to his. “No, I’m fine. This is nice. It’s been such a crazy, stressful day.”
Moonlight crossed his face, adding strong lines and shadows to the angles of his cheekbones and jaw. The moon’s glow softened the harshness of his dark hair and illuminated the depths of his eyes. Emotion welled within her, clogging her throat. She tried to sift through all that she was feeling, hoping to grab onto one that she could express without putting her heart at risk. She wanted to express to him her gratitude, her affection, her respect and admiration. “I know I’ve said this before, but thank you. I’m so grateful you brought Brady and me to your home. You’ve been so welcoming. I feel safe here.”
“I’m glad you’re here and that you feel safe.” He brushed back hair from her forehead. And tucked it behind her ears. She shivered under his touch. “I’m here for you, Maya. Whatever you need. Whenever.”
It wasn’t a declaration. She shouldn’t feel so giddy. She wasn’t quite sure what his words meant. Her heart heard a promise. She wanted to grab hold with both hands and hang on. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t brave enough. “I’m so grateful for your friendship.” Her voice sounded strangled. She cleared her throat.
The intensity in his gaze unnerved her. “I’m glad to hear that. Because I care deeply about you, Maya.”
And here she thought he had no feelings for her. Apparently, she’d been wrong. Her heart fluttered in her chest. To cover her reaction, she reached for her cocoa. Though it was cool, the sweetness burst on her tongue, heightening her already tightly strung nerves. He cared about her. Deeply. She wanted to pump a fist in the air, dance a jig and laugh with joy. Instead, she tamped down the crazy delight. Caring was a long way from loving, right?
He made little circles on her shoulder with the tips of his fingers. “You know when this is all over and life goes back to the way it should be, I’d really like to get to know you better. Maybe move out of the friendship zone. Go on a date or two or a million.”
She choked a little on the cocoa. She sat the mug down. “You would?”
She bit her bottom lip. She wanted that also. To get to know him, to explore these feelings that were crowding her chest and making her heart race. She wanted more. She wanted love and family. But she’d already decided those things weren’t going to be a part of her future.
She shook her head. “I just... I just can’t face any more loss.”
His eyebrows dipped together. “Maya—”
She placed two fingers against his lips, stopping his words. She had to tell him. Explain where she was coming from. She couldn’t handle it if he said anything more that would make this harder. “If I let myself fall for you, really fall for you, then I’m opening myself up to pain. I just can’t risk it. I don’t have that kind of courage.”
For a long moment, Alex didn’t say anything. Gently, he traced the line of her jaw. “I understand, Maya. There are no guarantees in life.”
Surprise washed over her that he would voice what she’d been thinking. She’d never been so in tune with anyone before.
“Life can change in an instant,” he continued, his voice low and drawing her in so that all she could see, hear and feel was him. “We have to grab a hold of the joy and the love that we can, now, before it’s too late.”
His words echoed her earlier thoughts. Such a strange sensation. Intellectually, she agreed with him, but emotionally, deep in her heart, fear dug its sharp talons into her. “Is that what you’re doing with your father?”
Alex drew back. His expression closed to her. “That’s different.”
She hadn’t meant to ask the question or to send him emotionally retreating, but now that she had, she pressed forward. “Why? In what way?”
“Your parents loved you. Their deaths were a horrible tragedy. But it wasn’t their choice to leave you.” There was a sharp edge to his tone.
“You’re right, it wasn’t their choice to leave me. It was an accident. No one’s fault.” She repeated the mantra she’d relied on to get her through the worst of her grief. “God was with them. Just as He was with me and Brady. Just as He is now.” It had taken her a long time to get to a place where she could see the truth. And to feel God’s presence. “It would have been so easy to be angry at Him for taking them away from us.”
“It’s really good you can see that.”
There was a tone of respect and admiration in his voice that made her want to cry. Because she also heard the hurt that he carried in his heart. She’d glimpsed his wound before and it tore her up inside.
She placed a hand on his chest. All his strength, warmth and resilience was right there, beating steadily beneath her palm. “I know your father wasn’t there for you when you were young and you resent him. Resent his lack of parenting. I can only imagine how that made you feel. But you have a second chance with him now. A chance most people don’t get.”
He closed his eyes for a moment as if shielding himself from her words. “You don’t understand.”
Thinking about his earlier statement that her parents had loved her, she realized that at the core of Alex’s pain was the belief he had not been loved. “You’re right, I may not understand what you are feeling. It must have hurt horribly when your parents’ marriage broke up. I know you said you never felt like you belonged in either of their homes. I would imagine you questioned their love for you. But, Alex, you did belong and you do. You belong to this town. You belong to the people of this town. You are loved. And now your dad is back in your life. I can see that he is wanting to forge a bond, a relationship with you.”
“I’m trying.” The defensiveness in his voice made her heart ache.
“You’re still so angry. You won’t heal until you let that go.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “That’s easy for you to say. I just don’t know how—”
Brady burst out the back door. “I think I decoded the map. I know where the treasure is.”
Maya’s heart leaped into her throat. Finding the treasure would put an end to this masked-men nightmare once and for all.
She met Alex’s gaze. Would it also mean the end of them?
Seeing Brady’s excitement revved Alex’s blood and chased away the angst of where the conversation with Maya had veered. Talking about his father and the past wasn’t productive. He couldn’t change what was or how he felt toward his dad. Alex knew Maya meant well and maybe shifting the direction of their conversation away from them had been her way of telling him she wasn’t interested in more than friendship.
Because she was afraid to risk her heart.
A sentiment he completely understood. He’d never thought he’d come to a place where he was willing to let someone in again but that was before a certain dark-haired beauty had entered his life.
Unsure what he could do to change her mind, he instead focused on the matter at hand. “That’s great, Brady. What did you find?”
“You have to come see,” Brady said, disappearing back inside the house.
Alex rose from the swing with anticipation making the small hairs on his arms rise. This could be the end of the whole treasure-hunting fiasco. If Brady had found the treasure, they could look for it tomorrow. And hopefully solve the mystery of the masked men.
Alex stretched out his hand to Maya, who still sat on the porch swing. “Are you coming inside?”
She gripped his hand with icy fingers. He frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a chill?”
She gave him a weary smile. “I’m warm enough. Let’s go and see what Brady has discovered.”
Inside the house, they found Brady and Frank sitting at the dining room table. A pile of papers sat next to the computer.
Surprised to find his father still up, Alex said, “Dad, I thought you went to bed.”
“I was getting ready when Brady needed help with the printer.”
Brady fanned the pile of papers. They were printed copies of the pages from inside Ned Weber’s notebook.
“The kid’s amazing,” Frank said. “So smart.”
Alex had no doubt. Brady had Down syndrome, but the kid had a keen intellect and needed to spread his wings. Focusing on the pages and still unable to decipher them, Alex said, “Show me what you have.”
Brady put his hands on the table like he was holding court. “Okay, here’s where it gets really interesting.” He gestured to the pages on his left. “These notes are from all the places where he’d been hunting and not found the treasure.” Brady gestured to the notes to the right. “These are the places he has yet to explore. He made notes about the different locations and the possibilities of where the treasure might be buried.”
Alex stared at the pages. It was all gobbledygook to him.
Brady picked up the pages in the middle. “This part talks about his search on Eagle Crest Mountain.”
“But he didn’t find the treasure,” Alex stated. At least they hadn’t found any sign of the treasure, so whoever killed him and burned down the sheriff’s station to acquire the notebook hadn’t found it on Weber.
“I think he might have found it,” Brady’s voice rose with enthusiasm. “And I know where to look for it.”
Maya gave a sharp intake of breath. “You are done treasure hunting. It’s Alex’s turn.”
Brady’s face scrunched up. “But he doesn’t need the treasure. I need the treasure.”
A pained look spread across Maya’s face. “Brady, no amount of treasure is going to convince me to let you go to that camp. Honestly, you need to let that go. You’re too young.”
Brady jumped to his feet, the chair tipping over behind him and the pages he held fluttering to the floor. “I’m not too young. I’ll be sixteen soon. Sally Mortensen down the road is only ten and she went to summer camp this summer.”
Maya reached out a hand to her brother. “Brady, you have to understand—”
“No, I don’t understand.” He turned and raced down the hall to his room, slamming the door behind him.
Maya’s shoulders slumped.
Compassion filled Alex. He knew how much the camp meant to Brady and he also understood that Maya wanted to protect him by keeping him close. “Maya,” he said gently. “He would be going to a safe place where there would be people he could relate to and who would relate to him.”
She stood, her dark hair swinging with the movement and her dark eyes sparking. “You don’t know anything about it. Stay out of it.” She stalked off and went into the bathroom, closing the door with a sharp click.
Alex heaved a sigh. He hoped he hadn’t just blown his chance to convince her to let Brady attend the camp.
“She’s struggling to come to terms with the fact that her little brother doesn’t need her in the same way that he always had,” Frank stated.
Alex sent his father a sharp glance. “I know that. She raised him and he wants to fly the coop, even for a short time. I get that it’s scary for her.”
“It’s scary for every parent when their child no longer needs or wants them,” Frank stated softly.
Anger ignited deep inside of Alex. “What would you know about it? There wasn’t a lot of parenting going on from you.”
Sadness filled Frank’s eyes. “I know I wasn’t a good father to you. And I regret that more than I can even begin to explain. But I did love you. I do love you. You are my son and I have only wanted the best for you.”
Alex didn’t want to hear this, didn’t want to feel the cascade of emotions marching through him at his father’s words. Loved him? Alex felt anything but loved by his father.
Focusing his gaze on the papers now lying on the floor, Alex reminded himself that those pages contained the location of the treasure. That was what he needed to be thinking about, not dredging up old pain with his father.
“I was a drunk. And I was angry.” Frank’s tone held no self-pity. “Honestly, I was afraid that I would take out my problems on you.”
Alex jerked his gaze to his father. He’d never heard him own up to his drinking. Not even when he’d arrived on Alex’s doorstep, telling him he was sick and needed a place to recuperate. It had taken Alex some digging to discover that his father had liver damage. Cirrhosis, the doctor had said.
“You could’ve made a different choice,” Alex said.
“I wish I had made a different choice. But I was weak and hurt. When your mother left—”
Alex held up a hand. “What are you talking about? You’re the one who left.”
Frank sighed. “You don’t remember that time in our lives. You don’t know what happened. It’s not my story to tell. All I can share with you is my side of things. Someday you’ll have to ask your mother. But she did leave. I didn’t know how to handle it so I sought comfort in the bottle. And that made me a bad man and a bad father.”
Alex’s heart twisted. He didn’t remember his mother leaving. He remembered them fighting, he remembered the stench of alcohol. He remembered his mother holding him and telling him everything would be all right. But it never was. He always blamed his father. Alex had never considered his mother’s role. In his mind, she had been the victim. But now, Alex could see that maybe...maybe they were all victims of circumstances that no one handled well. But his parents had been the adults. They should have protected him, done what was best for him, their child. He would never make that mistake. “It doesn’t matter now, Dad. It’s in the past.”
“I wish it was that easy. But you’ve never forgiven me. And I can’t forgive myself.”
A strange feeling ripped through Alex’s heart, crawling up his throat. The back of his eyes burned. His father’s words opened up a deep wound, one Alex thought he’d cauterized a long time ago.
The craving for family, for a place to belong, with people to belong to, welled up so strong that he thought he might drown in the tidal wave of emotion. He didn’t know what to do or say. How did he make this overwhelming sense of hurt and pain go away?
“I hope one day you will be able to forgive me,” Frank stated sadly. “But more than that, I hope you can open your heart so you can see what’s right in front of you.” With shoulders slumped, Frank headed back down the hall toward his room, leaving Alex alone.
His father’s words assaulted him, popping against his chest with the force of a paintball gun. He flinched, rubbed at the spot over his heart and lifted his gaze heavenward. Lord, what do I do now?
Not really expecting an answer, Alex picked up the papers from the floor and set them on the table. He stared at the undecipherable symbols, which looked to him like scratch marks. He couldn’t make heads or tails of them. But Brady had figured them out. The kid was amazing, just as his father had said.
The swell of affection for Brady filled him, and on its heels was a swell of love for Brady’s beautiful sister, Maya. Alex’s heart raced making him shake. He was falling in love with Maya. Falling? Ha. He’d fallen right over the cliff into the messy abyss of love. And he had no idea what he was going to do about it.
He gathered up all the pages, putting the ones that Brady indicated would show the way to the treasure on top. Tomorrow, he and Brady would map out a route and Alex would hunt down the secrets buried in the mountain, putting an end to the threat against Maya and Brady once and for all.
Then he hoped and prayed he would be able to persuade Maya to let Brady spread his own wings, as well as convince her to take a chance on him.