WHISTLE-STOP TOURS

What whistles
and licks Alex
Ferguson’s arse?
A Premiership
referee.

Anon

I’m trying to be careful what I say,
but the referee was useless.

David Jones

The referee was booking so
many people I thought he was
filling in his lottery numbers.

Ian Wright

Football is a game with 22 players,
two linesmen and 20,000 referees.

Bob Monkhouse

After the match an official asked
for two of my players to take a dope
test. I offered them the referee.

Tommy Docherty

 

I’ve seen harder
tackles in the pie
queue at half-time
than the ones
punished in games.

Former Falkirk chairman George
Fulston on overly strict referees

I used to play football in my
youth but then my eyes went
bad so I became a referee.

Eric Morecambe

The trouble with referees is that
they just don’t care which side wins.

Tom Canterbury

I never comment on referees and
I’m not going to break the habit
of a lifetime for that prat.

Ron Atkinson

Can anyone tell me why they
give referees a watch? It certainly
isn’t to keep the time.

Alex Ferguson

If the fourth official had done his
job it wouldn’t have happened, but
I don’t want to blame anyone.

John Aldridge