THE MONEY MEN
Kenny Dalglish calls
his goals tap-ins until
we come to the end
of the season and
we’re talking money.
He’s a money-grabbing cockroach.
I own two pot-bellied pigs and
they don’t yelp as much as him.
Maradona was the highest-
paid handballer in history.
No wonder he met me at the
airport; the taxi fare would have
tipped the club into bankruptcy.
Half a million for
Remi Moses? You
could get the original
Moses for that, and
the tablets as well.
I get on a train and sit in second class
and people think, ‘Tight bastard,
all the money he’s got and he sits
in second class.’ So I think, ‘Fuck
them’ and I go to first class. And
then they say, ‘Look at that flash
fucking bastard in first class!’
They offered me a handshake
of £10,000 to settle amicably. I
told them they would have to be
a lot more amicable than that.
My problem with Paul McGrath
was whether to give him appearance
money or disappearance money.
The Sheffield United Board
have been honest with me.
When I came here they said
there would be no money and
they’ve kept their promise.
Premier League football is a multi-
million pound industry with the
aroma of a blocked toilet and the
principles of a knocking shop.
Tony Cascarino was the biggest
waste of money since Madonna’s
father bought her a pair of pyjamas.