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“ Mommy I'm woke!”
I felt Jacobi's small hands shaking me out of just some of the memories that had lead me up to today. I'd been thinking two hours straight and my mind still wasn't clear about if I should fill Jeremiah in on the missing details between myself and Quinton. Had Quinton been able to find me the last three years he would have made sure Jeremiah left me. Had enough time passed for him to forgive me?
I stood up and looked in the bags Jeremiah had, just as I knew he would, there were a ton of snack for me to give Jacobi. I sat him up and chose a movie on the pay per view for him to watch and walked back into the bedroom to wake Jeremiah. Yes I'd kept some things from him in the past I was too ashamed to admit but there was no way I would let Quinton shame Jeremiah by telling every detail of what happened between us publicly. I wouldn't put him through that.
“Jeremiah, we need to talk.”
“ Okay bae, did you get a nap in?” he asked raising up in the bed.
“ No. I have too much on my mind to sleep.” I said wringing my minds. Jeremiah patted the bed next to him.
“ Come on, talk to ya man.”
“ This is serious Jeremiah. I need to talk you about some things with Quinton before we go to this custody hearing the day after tomorrow.” I said sitting in the armchair next to the bed.”
Jeremiah looked at me with an odd expression on his face.
“ What could you tell me? I was there remember,” he said.
I began wringing my hands nervously and looked at the floor.
“ Baby look. This entire situation has been crazy from start to finish. Now I did some thinking ad granted I wish you had just stayed in New York, what's done in the dark comes to light. The way we left Texas was crazy the whole nine yards. We've practically been hiding in New York so I just feel like this was meant to be. You and I are solid. Nothing in the world could tear us apart and though I don't want to I guess it's time to deal with this whole situation with Jacobi once and for all you know. No family court judge is going to give visitation to a damn rapist. We have good lawyers and with that tape, Leon has we got this in the bag. No worries.” he said.
“ Now that we are in Texas and can't leave for a minute let's just make the most of it.” Jeremiah leaned over, kissed me and walked out of the room to check on Jacobi.
I'd lost the tiny bit of nerve I had to tell Jeremiah that there was a 50/50 chance Jacobi wasn't the result of Quinton raping me without my knowledge. Yes, I was very confused during that time. Quinton manipulated me and unknown to me drug use was involved but every time I'd had sex with Quinton wasn't rape. After all, you couldn't rape the willing.
* * B * *
Quinton looked around his new condo smiling. Damn, I shoulda did this a long time ago. His mom and sister had jumped on the ball when he said he needed them to go shopping and to hook his new place up. He felt like God had smiled down on him once again and brought Mia back into his life For the past three weeks he'd been looking into finding a place to live and once he'd gone over his particular situation with his lawyer this morning he took it as a sign. If he wanted any chance of getting Mia back in his life he'd have to leave Terri for good. Get his own place to live because the courts would take that into consideration. It ain’t like I don't want my son even if I didn't have Mia but I want my child to have his mama and daddy in his life just like I did before my dad passed away. I don't want my son in no damn broken home and I damn sure don't want him being raised as another man's child like he has been. I know the only way for me to have Mia is to be in her life through my son. His mother had been frantic when she'd found out he been stabbed and had checked himself out of the hospital so fast but he didn't have time to waste. He had to deal with Mia fast or she'd be gone again before he knew it. Taking his son with her...again. He'd been caught off guard looking at his son today. Just as I thought, I knew the lil nigga was gon' be fine just like his daddy. He has Mia's eyes though. A son needs his father.
I walked into the bedroom that would be my sons. It was just about ready. My sister had done a good job getting it together while he was out today going over the details of his custody case with his lawyer.
I walked into the kitchen to take some pain medication. Surprisingly I was moving around pretty good as long as I stayed on top of my pain medication I was okay. Hell, I'm glad I had them to because now that I'm a father I can't be smokin' week like I used to. Shit, now that I ain’t over there with Terri I don't have too.
I sat on the sofa thinking about Mia. How could I still be in love with this girl as much as I was the day I first laid eyes on her? I know she gon' bring up that Sleeping Beauty an shit. I got something for her ass though. Rape charges my ass. I walked into my bedroom and pulled out the box I'd gone to my mama's house and picked up earlier. I'd kept it hidden away in the trunk of the car I had stored at my moms but now that I was away from Terri and in my own place I was going to drive it full-time. I'd stored this box in the trunk for three years.
I open the lid and sifted through all the pictures of Mia and I., Yeah that fuck boy Jeremiah came and caught me up in some shit and ruined the future I had planned for Mia and I, but God was smiling down on a nigga like me! Jeremiah ain’t did shit but delay the inevitable. I'm in this with Mia and my son for the long haul.
Shit, once I have my rights, I'ma change his damn name too. What the fuck is some damn Jacobi? I guess they trying to be Jeremiah and Jacobi, father and son. Fuck all that. Quinton Jr. daddy's coming for you.
* * B * *
I hopped in the rental and pulled out of the underground garage of the hotel. Mia didn't want me to leave her but I just told her I was headed over to the Eastside to see my brother Cedric. I hadn't seen that my older brother since the day I'd left Texas with Mia.
I was going over to see him but that wasn't the only thing. I just needed to get away from her, to be honest. Mia came in the room pulling up chairs and shit and I just got the feeling she was about to tell me some shit I DID NOT want to hear. I couldn't take much more of this shit.
When I tell you I gave up everything for this girl...I do mean everything. I was just getting off probation my damn self and getting my life straight when I met her and my life went in a totally different direction than what I had planned. Everything always leads back to Quinton. If that nigga was dead we could live our lives because at the rate this shit is going, his ass being dead would be the only way to get rid of him.
I'd already called Cedric to let him know I was in town so he was expecting me. I pulled into his complex and knocked on the door.
“ Ayyye boy!” he said grabbing me into a bear hug. Damn, I'd missed his ass more than I realized. Half the time growing up we didn't know where our mama was but we always had each other. Except for twice. When I messed up and went to jail and even then Cedric was there for me, letters, money on my books and three years when I left Texas for Mia.
We sat around and chopped it up awhile catching up before Cedric got serious. He sat quietly for a few minutes before he spoke.
“ Jay man what are you doing? Man you know I support you fully but this shit with Mia? All on the damn T.V.? Man when you gon' leave that situation alone huh? When is enough an enough?” he had a serious tone to his voice that he'd only taken with me a few times in my life when I was really messing up. As his younger brother, it did make me sit up a little taller in my chair and pay attention.
“ Man she didn't try to kill Quinton or none of what you been hearing on T.V. man trust me.”
“ Nigga, do you ever sit back and look at the shit you're doing behind this girl? Now I done kept quiet on a whole lot of shit but uh-uh. No more. I'ma school you on some shit you really need to know. Some thangs had you not been so fast to play Captain Save-a-hoe, and run your black ass off to New York City, you would have found out for ya' damn self.” he said taking a pull of the blunt he'd just fired up.
“ Man you just don't know what was going on, and the fact of the matter is this, I love Mia I think I've loved her from the day I met her. Thank you bye the way because if it hadn't been for you we'd have never met.”
Cedric twisted his face up.
“ Man if there was one thing in this world I could undo it would be the day I took yo' ass over there and you hooked up with that lying ass bitch!”
I jumped up and lunged to punch his ass in the mouth. Cedric was too fast for me though. That nigga had always been a fighter. Cedric could smoke a pound of weed and a gallon of hen dog but when it came time to fight he was light on his feet. Cedric twisting my arm around my back put his knee in my back for good measure and had my head mushed in the couch.
“ Nigga I don't care what you do out in these streets...when it comes to me you always gon' be baby brother. You better think twice about ever tryin' to raise up on me nigga before I forget you my brother.” he said giving my head a final mush and letting me up.
“ You don't even know Mia like that, don't disrespect the woman I love man. I wouldn't do that to you.”
Cedric sucked his teeth.
“ Man I just hate to see you going through all this. What the fuck is really going on? Mia got unicorns, rainbows, and skittles falling out her pussy or what? Because she running the hell out of that nigga Quinton and evidently she running the hell out of yo' ass too!” he spat.
“ Cedric I already told you what I saw! Why I had to get her out of there. We were going to be together anyway. That nigga was taking advantage of Mia, drugging her and I wasn't going to let her stay in that situation. So if that makes me a punk for loving her enough to be there for her and help her get away, I'll be that.”
“ What about all the time he was fuckin' her ass and she wasn't high on drugs?”
That stopped me dead in my tracks.
“ What are you talking about Cedric? He had to have been drugging her every time or she never would have been with him. That was her mama's man and he was taking advantage of her while her mom was at work.” I said adamantly.
“ Nah nigga that's what you walked up on. Make her tell you about all the times she was laid up with his ass cuz she just wanted the dick. Man, do you know how many times I saw them together? Ran into them out to eat and booed up? Are you forgetting that before you and this girl Bonnie and Clyded out this muthafucka, me and Quinton used to hang tough. I used to be over at Terri's crib damn near every other day Jay! So granted you may have seen some foul shit one time. I saw a couple many, many times my nigga. Hugged up, kissing, the nigga rubbing on her ass. Now I ain’t telling you that you didn't see what the fuck you saw. What I am telling you is there is more to it than that ONE night you saw that shit through a dark ass window. Hell I was sitting on Terr's comfortable ass couch in broad daylight and I seen the shit!” he said taking another pull of his blunt.
I broke out into a sweat, this my brother and I know damn well he ain’t sitting here lying to me. I was still in a state of disbelief.
“ Cedric man you sure?”
“ Just as sure as I'ma dark chocolate sexy negro...and I'm damn sure about that. Matter fact I'ma introduce you to my new girl. Gotta nigga thinkin' bout settling down an shit!” he said grinning.
“ Okay man. Look I'm out. I need to get this shit straight.” I said walking towards the door my mind was racing.
“ Please do. Man, I know you love her. All I want you to do is have all the facts. I mean you took off so fast and you had a plan and I admire you for stepping up for her, but I always thought you would question it a little more when you said she was pregnant and it was Quinton's baby. I know it only takes one time but that shit don't happen often. Also like I said I'd seen her with Quinton before.”
“ Why didn't you ever tell me you saw her with him?”
“ Nigga I didn't have any idea you were seeing her! I remember taking you with me that one day other than that shit. I don't be all in yo' business like that. I will say this though...I used to tease him all the time about fuckin' the mama and the daughter!”
“ Okay man, I'm out. Look out for me though because I may either end up back over here or need you to bail me out.” I said walking out the door. The entire ride back to the hotel I ran down what I'd seen her with Quinton.
Had she been seeing him more than the one time I knew about?
It was eight in the evening when I made it back to the hotel. I'd rode around for a while a million questions running through my mind. I'd never pressed Mia on the details of what had gone on in that house beyond what I saw for myself, I'd always felt like she'd been wronged enough. I did suggest she go to a rape counselor but she'd refused saying she just wanted to get out of Texas as far away from her mom and Quinton as she could and I'd handled that shit. She'd stayed at my place two weeks basically hiding her out from Quinton who had gone crazy looking for her. He'd go by my brother's place, caused a scene at her friend Rayna's house to the point her parents had called the police on him. I'd been saving up some money to buy into a shop where the owner was leaving and he liked my work.
I reached out to one of my boys I was locked up with and he extended himself to us. Left Texas with 20,000 to our name...hell my name but if I had it she had it. Some of it was illegal money I had before I got locked up and some I'd earned. Shit that was a lot of money in Texas terms but New York? That wasn't shit but we made it happen and were on to bigger things when she got discovered. Then she had to bring her ass back here. Like I always say though. What's done in the dark will come to the light and I'm about to shine a light all over Mia.
I walked into the hotel room and it was quiet. I could hear the T.V. in the bedroom though. I walked back and opened the door. Mia was in the bed reading a magazine and Jacobi was knocked out again.
“ Hey baby, how was your brother?” she asked looking up and smiling. “ The lawyer came by
, he's been down the hall working on my first case and he thinks it's pretty likely that will be dropped. It was self-defense he said and it's really everyone's word against each other and with the tape, they got from Leon...do you think it's funny if I call him Leon? I mean it's not like I really know him so I think it's best...,”
“ Close the bedroom door and come out here,” I said interrupting her. She sounded downright giddy and I was not in the mood.
“ What? What's wrong? Is your brother okay?” she asked walking right behind me closing the bedroom door.
“ Why are you worried about how my brother is? You never cared before. You never ask me how he's doing? Matter of fact you've never even asked to speak to him before, not even to say hello? Ever. Why the fuck you asking about Cedric today?” I asked looking her dead in the face.
“ What are you talking about Jeremiah? We always talk about Cedric,” she said.
“ No I talk about Cedric, I think you listen waiting for me to shut up ain’t that right. Sit down, Mia.” I said point to a chair I'd pulled out directly in front of mine.
“ Jeremiah, what's wrong with you? She said slowly sitting in the chair. “ Talk to me Jeremiah,” she said reaching out to touch my arm.
“ Yeah let's talk. So tell me exactly how many times did you fuck Quinton?”
* * B * *
I felt like my heart had just been ripped open and I was exposed. Exposed as a liar and a fraud to the only man who has ever loved me.
“ Jeremiah you don't understand, I was confused then, I had a lot of things going on...we weren't even speaking then and I just made a mistake okay? I made mistake it was wrong of me to do and I knew it and I stopped it I did Jeremiah! I think that's when he gave me those drugs and you caught him and saved me! Please believe me, Jeremiah, I didn't know how to tell you that, I just didn't know how to say it!” I said by that time crying, stammering and I truly felt like I was going to pass out. If Jeremiah left me I didn't know what I would do. I needed him in my life.
“ You didn't know how to say it? Mia, I found you in your house, drugged the fuck out with Quinton fuckin' your unresponsive body and you couldn't tell me that you had slept with him willingly? I've taken care of that nigga's baby from conception to now as my own and you felt the need to leave out that detail.”
I didn't think you would understand Jeremiah! I didn't know how to tell you and you saw for yourself he was forcing me!”
Nah, Mia, the shit ain’t that simple to me. I've gone over and over in my mind for years why Quinton seemed to be so obsessed with you and here it was all along clear as the nose on my face.” he said laughing.
“ Quinton is just as crazy about you as I am. I love the fuck out your ass. I'd kill for you, die for you, leave the little family I have for you and all along that niggas was going crazy because you gave him some of your loving. You spread your legs willingly and let him come inside you, what taste your pussy Mia, you rode his dick like you do mine? Suck his dick like you do mine?” he asked getting in my face. I'd never seen him look at me this way. Angry, hurt and disgust with me all over his face.
He pointed to the bedroom where Jacobi laid sleeping.
“ All this time you had me thinking he was a rape baby Mia? When you knew all the damn time Jacobi wasn't conceived by rape didn't you?” he asked grabbing my chin and turning me to face him. “ You took every bit of that nigga's dick inside you and you loved it.”
“ Please let me explain Jeremiah, I know I didn't tell you everything I'm sorry please forgive me, I love you, you know I love you, we have a family Jeremiah me you and Jacobi, I love you, you know I do!” I said sobbing.
“ We don't have shit,” he said walking into the bedroom. He came out a minute later with his suitcase. He started walking towards the door and I totally broke down begging Jeremiah not to leave us.
“Please Jeremiah, you said we could work through anything. I'll do anything.”
“ You've done enough Mia. You got me over here lookin' like a goddamn fool, taking another nigga's child from...hell I'm the one intruding on a family all this time. I'm over it. Go get back with your baby daddy and have a nice life Mia...oh and fuck you.” he said walking out the door.
I dropped to the floor in shock. My only saving grace at that moment was that Jacobi had remained asleep through all the yelling. I was numb.
Jeremiah had left me, left us and he said he never would.
* * B * *
I met with my lawyer and Reginald the following morning but I called Leon and his family and said I couldn’t meet with them until after the hearing about Jacobi.
Leon was very understanding, I don't think the new about me was going over too well with his family. I didn't really care my own family was torn apart due to my own lies. I hadn't slept or eaten since Jeremiah left. Reginald didn't think I was functioning well so he hired a nanny to help with Jacobi until we were able to return to New York.
The day of my custody hearing I called Jeremiah cell phone to find he'd had the number changed. I took the stand and I don't know what I was being asked really or what I answered. Quinton was there with his lawyer and his three-piece suit on ready to rake me through the coals and expose me for a liar. I'd already been exposed. There was nothing more that he could do to hurt me. Because if I didn't have Jeremiah in my life I didn't have anything. I'd been ready to come in this court-room and do battle for my son. Fight for my family but it's gone. My family is gone. There is no more me, Jacobi and Jeremiah. I thought tears streaming down my face.
“ Excuse me Ms. King can you answer the question? Would you like a tissue?” Quinton's lawyer asked.
“ Quinton can have him,” I said choked up. It killed me to say it but I couldn't take care of him right now. I was too fucked up maybe he was better off with Quinton.
“ Excuse me?”
I leaned into the microphone and looked at Quinton.
“ I said his father can take him. I can't fight right now I just can't do it.” I said. I was numb.
* * B * *
Mia looked crazy as hell walking into the court-room this morning. I looked around for that nigga Jeremiah but he never showed. I could see her crying on the stand and I didn't feel as good about it as I thought I would. Then when she didn't want our son. I knew I had to stop this shit.
“ Postpone this shit!”
“ What? The balls in our court Quinton. She's handing your son over to you on a silver platter!” my lawyer said excitedly.
“ I said stop it! Excuse me, judge! I want to withdraw my case or whatever it is. I think my son's mother and I can come to an agreement about our son without the courts. Can I do that? Please your honor?”
The judge looked over at Mia who clearly looked like she was having a nervous breakdown.
“ I think that would be best for now. I don't think the plaintiff looks well today. Perhaps she's not feeling well and since we have the well-being of a child at stake I'm postponing the hearing today.” she said.
Everyone looked around unsure of what to do but they had to move quickly because the room was needed for another case.
“ Mia, what the hell is going on with you? Are you on drugs? What the hell you mean I can have him?”
“ Isn't that why you brought me here Quinton? To break me down, take my child away from me, leave me with nothing? I don't have any more fight in me Quinton. So if you want to hold our son over me, use him to control me...just take him. You can have him. Come by the Sheraton tonight and I'll have him ready for you.” she said walking to her lawyer and some other man that was with them.
I just stood there in shock for a moment. I'ma go pick my son up tonight we'll talk then.
* * B * *
Reginald was the first to speak on our drive back to the hotel.
“ Well umm, maybe that's what you need for a minute? A break, you had a lot going on we can just get things settled her and get game to New York. You can throw yourself into finishing up this album. You know take your mind off of everything.” he said. Reginald didn't know what the hell had gone on with Mia and Jeremiah but he was glad he was gone. It was easier to work with a single artist. Mia didn't realize it but it would be good for her career to have her son settled down with his father anyway. Kids didn't need that fast life. Her baby daddy was a good-looking dude, wonder if he can sing? I can make a ton of money off his ass. Throw a auto-tune on his voice, he already had the looks. Who knows?
Mia just looked out the window not saying a word. I have to get away from Texas.