7

Love Magick

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher.”—Socrates

The seventh Sephirah, known as Netzach, is less about the literal translation “victory” than it is about its Venusian qualities of love and sex, at least as far as practical magick is concerned.

In this chapter, I will be discussing love magick, i.e., magick to bring you love. This chapter includes a ritual to bring you exactly what you want as far as love is concerned, whether it be a lover, a spouse, or just a little bit of romance. Sex magick (i.e., sexual acts in a ritual setting), both solitary and with a partner, will be covered separately in Chapter 9 since Yesod is specifically attributed to the sexual organs.

Before we get into the actual ritual, let’s discuss matters germane to love magick.

Regarding Breakups

Many people turn to love magick after a disappointment, so let’s discuss the end of relationships before moving on to new beginnings.

Most of us have experienced a tough breakup, followed by intense feelings of sadness, anger, frustration, and even depression. Magicians are no exception. We are not immune to great losses in love or anything else, but we are better equipped to bounce back from difficult times.

How should I get over a broken heart?

Breakups are magickal times. Because they rock our world so hard, they end up shattering the ego-mind like few other things can. That’s why a good time to start new behaviors and thought-processes is after a breakup. Use your desperation in a positive way. Focus on your higher self for answers, not other people.

After all is said and done, a breakup will make you more powerful if you remember a few things:

1. Accept that the relationship is over. Don’t obsess; magicians are too self-confident to be stalkers. Hold your head high and carry on with dignity. However, you should make a place in your past for the relationship. Don’t try to block it out as if it never happened. Accept it as a building block in the foundation of your life and move on.

2. Understand that you are complete in and of yourself. Fill your own cup of good emotions before you go out looking for love. Don’t stand around with an empty cup and expect others to fill it for you. You are the source of your good feelings. Once your cup is overflowing, then spill your joy onto those around you.

3. You must have a goal or passion higher than just finding another person. This can include your magick and any other meaningful career, activity, or hobby you may have.

4. Be open to all of Layour emotions. After a breakup they will most likely vacillate wildly from day to day, sometimes hour to hour. If you need to cry, then go ahead and cry. If you need to destroy something, take some old dishes into the yard and smash them. Make this a venting party for yourself. There is no need to involve other people in every step of your healing process.

5. When your ego starts breaking, let it break. Pray not for love at this point, but pray for enlightenment, guidance from your higher self to lead you to better places.

6. Understand this breakup will only lead to something better. This is the time to instill new and improved thought patterns and behaviors. When things are “just okay,” we rarely have the impetus to make changes. The best time to plant new seeds and new behaviors is when we have hit rock bottom.

7. Be patient with yourself. Give yourself permission to heal for however long you need. Sometimes you may need to give yourself months (even years) to heal. It’s better to entitle yourself to more time than less. Don’t try to pack all your healing into a week or two. Let things take their course.

8. If things are really bad, go back to baby steps. Tackle a single day at a time. Find at least one pleasurable thing to experience per day. Having just one thing to look forward to, no matter how simple or mundane, can make all the “heavy” hours more tolerable.

Can I do a spell to get them back?

Unless you were the one initiating the breakup, this would most likely be your knee-jerk reaction. However, let me caution you strongly against doing such a spell. If you feel lost, alone, or desperate to get a person back, that neediness will seep into the spell, and you will most likely end up more depressed and push the person further away.

People are attracted to joy and confidence. As mentioned above, fill up your own cup of pleasure, and people will come to you to drink from it. The very act of performing a spell after you have been “dumped” will tend to create further weakness and dependency. Don’t chase them. Take a few steps back. Find other sources of joy and inspiration in your life. Use the breakup as an advantageous place to move forward. Grow from it.

Magick spells work best when we can let go and trust the universe and our subconscious mind to manifest our desires. Try to do a spell amidst the sorrow of a recent breakup and you will find it extremely difficult to let go of your intent. You will most likely just fuel the unhappy feelings you are having instead of doing any growing or healing. If you try to do a spell in such a state, it is likely to fail or backfire.

Should I do a spell to get a new lover right away?

Common sense prevails in magick as much as it does anywhere else. Your best bet is to focus on your daily rituals, such as the Equilibrating Ritual of the Pentagram, the Middle Pillar Ritual, and the meditations until you feel stable and centered again. Spend time specifically invoking your HGA (see Chapter 10), before you do a spell seeking satisfaction in another human. Plunging right into a spell could be a sign of insecurity and lack of confidence, but at least if you are willing to be open to a new and better partner, this line of action is certainly preferable to wallowing and doing nothing, or obsessing on the past.

On Confidence

Be confident! Don’t you hate this advice? Especially with regards to attracting the opposite sex? Trying to be confident sets up a catch-22, similar to telling someone “Don’t think about a red elephant,” and of course they do. If you are in your head thinking about your confidence level, how can you truly be in the moment actually being confident?

Instead, forget about being “confident.” Go out and be the Fool, i.e., just talk, joke, and have fun at everyone’s expense, including your own. Reach your “indifference threshold”—that point where you have done enough “dumb things” for the night that you don’t give a damn anymore. That’s when you can finally relax and “be yourself.”

Should I do a magick spell to get a specific person?

While this can work in some circumstances, such as when the person already likes you romantically but you yourself may not realize it, most of the time the answer is “no.”

Why not? First of all, people have their own True Will. Doing your True Will does not include forcing someone to love you who does not, so magick is not going to help you in this case. Most likely, you will just create an obsession within yourself.

What you can do is make a talisman for the universe to bring you someone with the attributes of the person you have this “crush” on. My experience has been that I get a lover that is better than the one I had in mind anyway. Magick is cool like that. So don’t get hung up with one person. That is a weakness.

That said, if you truly believe it is your True Will to do a spell for a specific target, then by all means, do so; just make sure you cast the spell from a place of centeredness and fullness.

On Vulnerability

“When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability … To be alive is to be vulnerable.”—Madeleine L’Engle109

Most people are afraid of being vulnerable, but it is actually a valuable experience. Vulnerability simply means openness, which is close to the Pure Fool state. When we are vulnerable, we are more likely to listen, to learn, and to grow.

If you can’t accept your feelings of vulnerability, which believe it or not, some people just interpret as feelings of “excitement,” you will close yourself off to any new adventures in your life, your career, or your art.

Trying to hide from your vulnerability will make you weak and afraid to make the bold moves required to make quantum leaps forward, not only in business, but in every single area of your life. Accepting your vulnerability will allow you to embrace new situations no matter how seemingly uncomfortable (first dates, job interviews, moving to a new city, etc.)

Vulnerability is openness and without a deep level of openness, it’s nearly impossible to experience intimacy, love, and friendship. Having a fear of vulnerability closes off a myriad of potential joys and possibilities in your life, while at the same time increasing your fear and dependence upon the ramblings of the ego-mind.

The paradox of vulnerability is that it is actually our strength. It allows us to connect with our True Self, which can never be harmed. It’s our ego-mind that is in constant danger of being humiliated or defeated.

So next time you are feeling “vulnerable,” don’t run from the experience. Notice the sensations. Accept them.

When you give into your vulnerability, you are not saying, “Hurt me.” You are saying, “I am unable to be hurt, so I am open to all experience and all possibilities.”

On Shallowness

Venus has many good qualities, such as beauty, charm, and refined taste—but the weakness of Venus is her shallowness. Be careful of focusing too much on superficial appearances when working with Netzach or Venus. As Agrippa pointed out, the symbol of Venus is meant to resemble a hand mirror. She can create a world around you, lovely and full of sights and scents, but skin-deep, shallow, and ultimately hollow.

Like all the Sephiroth and paths, understand that Netzach is only balanced by its relationship to the other spheres. Netzach lies low and off-center upon the Tree of Life, so care should be taken when enjoying the fruits of Venus.

Is there such a thing as soul mates?

To me this falls in the category of personal choice. My heart has gone both ways on this issue over the years.

Certainly the idea of soul mates can be a limiting belief—instead of being open to a myriad of possibilities with a variety of people, connecting with them in different, satisfying ways, we sit around waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right. This can make one miserable.

On the other hand, I’m a romantic at heart. So maybe … who knows?

Being Whole On Your Own

Whether or not you believe in soul mates, do not for one moment expect to have anyone love you if you don’t genuinely love yourself.

“Every Man and Every Woman is a Star.”

This quote from Liber AL sums it up. You are a complete being. You are the center of your own solar system. You should not be dependent on any person for joy and happiness. The magick and meditations in this book will help your confidence, your health, and your charisma. Focus on the work and allow the rewards to flow naturally to you.

When you feel complete within yourself, and yet still find yourself without someone to share your good feelings with, then you are ready to perform love magick.

Ritual to Charge a Love Talisman

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”—Rumi

This ritual is similar to the one given in Chapter 4, but is tricked out for love.

Step 1: Define your Intent

Choose an intent. Here are some examples:

“I am manifesting a loving, sexy, caring boyfriend/girlfriend.”
“I will manifest a person who reflects me best.”
“I will attract the qualities I most desire/admire in ___________.”
“My True Will is leading me towards romantic
bliss with the right person.”
“I am attracting a beautiful, intelligent woman into my life.”
“I am attracting a kind, stable, and handsome man.”

Or just keep it simple, and skip the full sentence. Simply using “sexy lover” can be a clear and effective intent for a love talisman.

Step 2: Decide where on the Tree of Life your spell belongs

Find which Sephirah (or path) best fits the type of magick you wish to perform. For love magick Netzach is a solid choice. So from Chapter 2 we get these correspondences:

7. Netzach

Color: Orange, Yellow

Scents: Benzoin, Rose, Red Sandal

Planetary influence: Venus

Metals: Copper, Brass

Step 3: Choose a material basis for your talisman

We could make our talisman on a copper or brass plate, but let’s think outside the box and use something else for our material basis.

A seashell is a receptive form, associated with the ocean, another feminine symbol. Also, the spiral form of the seashell makes it a microcosmic reflection of the galaxies. The beach tends to be a fun and romantic place, so that subtle implication is contained within the symbolism as well. There is some historical basis for this choice too. In Botticelli’s famous painting Birth of Venus (c. 1485) the goddess is born full-grown out of a seashell.

You can find seashells on the beach, or simply get them from a craft store which often carry a variety of shells. Choose a shell that suits you. There is no right or wrong. Just think through all symbolism, and make sure it works for you.

Step 4:
Turn your intent into symbols

Since we picked the concise phrase “sexy lover” to symbolize our intent, it’s a breeze to simplify it into a single symbol using synthesized script (See Chapter 4):

If you instead want to use a magickal alphabet to turn your intent into symbols, go right ahead.

Step 5. Prepare the
appropriate holy names

From the Appendix write down the God name, Archangel, and Choir of Angels for Netzach:

YHVH Tzabaoth	Haniel	Elohim

Also write down the Heaven, Spirits, and Intelligences of Venus:

Nogah	Qedemel	Hagiel

You can use these holy names as given, i.e., written in Hebrew, or you can convert them first. You may do this through synthesized script or by means of a magickal alphabet (see the Appendix for the many alphabets available to you). Alternatively, you can transform them into symbols using the Golden Dawn’s Rose Cross, a method I will now describe:

Rose Cross Sigilization

Rose section of the Rose Cross containing the twenty-two letters
of the Hebrew alphabet.

Rose section of the Rose Cross containing the twenty-two letters
of the Hebrew alphabet.

Sigilization just means turning something into magickal symbols. Here follows a method based on using the rose section of the Golden Dawn Rose Cross (see Chapter 6).

You may use a sheet of paper over the rose to trace it, or you may photocopy it and draw your shape directly on it, which you can then use on your talisman.

To use the rose, start with the first letter of your holy name and make a dot. Then draw a line to the next letter of the holy name, and continue in this fashion until the name is complete.

For example: To make a sigil of Haniel, you would use the Hebrew spelling of and come up with something like this:

Here are completed sigils for the holy names of Netzach and Venus, all of which we will use on our love talisman:

Step 6 (Optional):
Add any other appropriate symbolism you desire

Add a poem you wrote, or a traditional Greek ode to Aphrodite. In the following ritual I include Sappho’s “Hymn to Aphrodite” and some quotations from The Book of the Law.

Step 7: Decorate your talisman

Since we are using a shell, we aren’t going to be able to draw all our symbols on the outside. Instead, we will put it on a piece of paper. The shape of the paper will be round, to symbolize Nuit, the mouth of the cup, infinity, receptivity, and all the other things a circle brings to mind. It’s a far more suitable shape than a square piece of paper.

After you are done drawing the symbols on the circle of paper, fold the paper and stick it inside the shell. You may also include the appropriate scent, such as rose petals, or ground-up incense.

From the Appendix, we know the color, precious gem, and scents appropriate to Netzach:

7

Emerald

Emerald

Rose, Red Sandalwood, Benzoin resin

After you have filled the shell with what you feel is appropriate to your desire, seal the opening with hot wax.

On the outside of the shell you can either paint the appropriate color, or if you like the color of your shell, you can leave it as is. If you chose a shell that is conducive to any sort of writing, you could finish by adding the Venus symbol on the outside.

Step 8: Ritual Preparation

Temple preparation: Drench your temple in fresh flowers as best you can, including roses if possible. Wildflowers are acceptable. If you want to work out your symbolism in more detail, you could have dozens of random flowers scattered around, but then only seven red roses for around your circle. Now is a good time to use 777 (you can always find it online for free) if you desire more ideas for decorating your ritual, but this is entirely optional.

What to wear: Whatever you usually wear for rituals is fine, or go nude. If you want to get fancy, you would wear an emerald robe or something else of the appropriate color.

Day and time for the ritual: Friday is Venus’s day. Or look up online when Venus will be in the sky for your particular time and location. During a full moon is ideal if you can manage it.

The altar: The same thing goes here as with the wealth talisman from Chapter 4. You don’t need anything fancy, just somewhere to place your talisman during the ritual.

Candles: Use candles as you see fit. Plain white (for the divine influence) or emerald green (for Venus) is the best.

Incense: Rose incense, red sandalwood, or Nuit’s incense is best. However, if you bring in enough flowers, you won’t really need to burn incense for this ritual.

Bell: If you have a bell, ring it seven times to open the ritual and seven more times to close.

Music: This is a good time to use music of your choice. Silence is also good.

Other magickal items: Bring out anything that you consider holy or symbolizes the type of love you are invoking. When you are content with the state of your temple, you are ready to begin. Make sure you will have no interruptions!

Step 9: Ritual for Charging a Love Talisman

1. Perform a long relaxation ritual. Take some extra time to indulge yourself. A massage, bubble bath, or anything luxuriant is especially appropriate for Venus.

2. Perform the Equilibrating Ritual of the Pentagram.

3. In the center of your temple, facing West (for the element of Water), say confidently:

“Come forth, O children, under the stars,
& take your fill of love! I am above you
and in you. My ecstasy is in yours.
My joy is to see your joy.”110

4. Still facing West, draw a hexagram with Venus in the center:

First draw the upward-pointing triangle (starting from the right hand corner going counterclockwise), and then the second triangle (starting from the top left and going clockwise). Finish with the Venus symbol.

5. Point at the center of your hexagram. Chant the following names with passion:

YHVH Tzabaoth
Haniel
Elohim
Nogah
Qedemel
Hagiel

Imagine your hexagram and the Venus symbol growing brighter as you do so. Chant the names as many times as you like.

6. Hold your hands to the sky and recite the “Hymn to Aphrodite”:111

Beautiful-throned, immortal Aphrodite!
Daughter of Zeus, beguiler, I implore thee,
Weigh me not down with weariness and anguish,
O, thou most holy!

Come to me now! if ever thou in kindness
Hearkenedst my words, and often hast thou hearkened,
Heeding, and coming from the mansions golden
Of thy great Father,

Yoking thy chariot, borne by thy most lovely
Consecrated birds, with dusky-tinted pinions,
Waving swift wings from utmost heights of heaven
Through the mid-ether:

Swiftly they vanished; leaving thee, O goddess,
Smiling, with face immortal in its beauty,
Asking what I suffered, and why in utter longing
I had dared call thee;

Asking, what I sought, thus hopeless in desiring,
‘Wildered in brain, and spreading nets of passion
Alas, for whom? and saidst thou, “Who has harmed thee?
O my poor Sappho!

“Though now he flies, ere long he shall pursue thee:
Fearing thy gifts, he too in turn shall bring them;
Loveless to-day, to-morrow he shall woo thee,
Though thou shouldst spurn him.”

Thus seek me now, O holy Aphrodite!
Save me from anguish, give me all I ask for,
Gifts at thy hand; and thine shall be the glory,
Sacred protector!

When you read the hymn you are identifying with the forlorn poet Saphho beseeching her goddess to help her in love. This is an appropriate state to take when invoking the divine, so it is of no matter whether you are male or female physically. The Goddess is dominant—you wish her to come forth. You are the receiving vessel.

7. Perform the Middle Pillar Ritual as given in the last chapter, but imagine all the chakras to be emerald green and replace all the names with “YHVH Tzabaoth.”

8. At the end of the Middle Pillar Ritual, after you have circulated the energy to its peak, take a huge inhalation. Imagine all the energy in the world being sucked into your chest. Hold it in a moment. Then:

9. Begin to exhale as you imagine the energy flowing down your arms and hands into the seashell.112 Use your entire exhalation to fill the seashell with emerald green energy.

10. Before you inhale again, make the Sign of Silence.

11. Recite meaningfully:

“Then saith the prophet and slave of the beauteous one: Who am I, and what shall be the sign? So she answered him, bending down, a lambent flame of blue, all-touching, all penetrant, her lovely hands upon the black earth, and her lithe body arched for love, and her soft feet not hurting the little flowers: Thou knowest! And the sign shall be my ecstasy,
the consciousness of the continuity of existence,
the omnipresence of my body.”113

12. Perform a final Equilibrating Ritual of the Pentagram or just the Qabalistic Cross.

Step 10: Forget about your Talisman

Wrap your talisman in cloth (or something else you feel is appropriate) and put it in a safe place. Trying too hard to forget about it will only make you think about it more, so let it go as much as possible without obsessing. Instead ask yourself some questions:

What if you were born into this very moment with no preconceptions about your life or responsibilities? What would you do? Where would you go?

Exercise 7: Make a Love Talisman

This is optional, but even if you are in a relationship, you can always do a spell to make it more passionate and loving.

[contents]

109 . Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art, 1980.

110 . Liber AL, I. 12 & 13.

111 . T. W. Higginson, a translation of Sappho, “The Hymn to Aphrodite,” Atlantic Monthly, July, 1871.

112 . Or whatever you chose for your material basis.

113 . From the Book of the Law, I, 26. This scene is Nuit speaking with her prophet. Nuit is Goddess of the Night Sky and desires only pleasure for her all worshippers. In this way she is entirely cognate with Venus.