Mavis Montgomery said goodbye to her friend Hilary and drove home. She lived on Emery Street, close to the River Thames and to downtown London, in a quaint Ontario Cottage lovingly restored by her husband Pete. There was always a sense of pleasure opening the front door and stepping inside. There was so much of Peter Montgomery here in the character touches he had added to their home. As a talented craftsman in wood and plaster, he had restored the cornices and decorative woodwork of the Gothic style and made artistic roundels on the ceilings to match photographs he found in the Central Library’s archives.
She loved the home’s simplicity, spacious rooms and one–and–a-half-storey plan.
What she did not love was the silence; a silence that could not be filled with music or television or occasional visits from sympathetic neighbours.
Whatever she tried, the silence was deafening.
She volunteered at the courthouse for a time, despite her retirement from there only a few years before, but found the contrast between those busy hours and the dead air in the cottage to be even more oppressive.
It was Hilary who rescued her in the end. They first met when Hilary needed advice on how to deal with a particularly recalcitrant teenager who was making her grade 8 classes a misery for their teachers.
As principal of the school, Hilary had sought help and Mavis Montgomery was recommended.
The connection between the boy’s behaviour and the number of times his father had appeared in the court system soon provided Hilary with an explanation. Mavis soon devised strategies based on what she knew of the boy’s home life. He had been given too many responsibilities for his younger siblings while his downtrodden mother worked every hour she could, to keep the family together during her husband’s frequent jail-time absences.
Together they formed a plan. The boy was excused from some classes and given a coaching role with the physical education teacher, who was universally adored by the boys. This privilege came with responsibilities to keep the gym equipment stored properly, a task that was handed over by the teachers with the greatest relief. Finding everything in its place at the start of a lesson, accorded the boy genuine praise from the school’s staff and set him on the road to success.
That boy was now a teacher himself and a star athlete of Olympic quality and it was the beginning of a long association between Mavis and Hilary that extended beyond their retirements.
Hilary’s Mark died of a heart attack and Mavis and Peter stood by her until she had found her feet again.
The favour was returned after Pete fell from scaffolding on a house renovation, broke his back, and lingered in extreme pain for six long months in hospital. The friendship the two women had cherished, became something much deeper after sharing hours in Pete’s hospital room and anguishing over his inevitable deterioration.
The entire period had made such a blot on Mavis’s spirit that she was close to a clinical depression for many months and would have sunk beneath that mental weight had Hilary not come up with the idea of shared accommodations for mutual support and companionship.
At first, they were going to live together in Hilary’s home but after much discussion, they found the house that had been adequate for one was now becoming outdated and requiring significant repairs before it would suit the two women.
Hilary made enquiries of the local real estate companies and discovered the property had grown in value because of its location near a large new downtown facility as an adjunct of a popular college.
Apparently such homes as Hilary’s were needed as rental developments in which several students could share expenses while attending classes.
Hilary had an assessment done and was very pleased and surprised by the suggested selling price.
Mavis also decided to relinquish her heritage home for which there was always a market among buyers who respected the unique qualities of such rare, well-maintained buildings in good areas.
The shared home idea began to grow and shape when Mavis’s home drew competition from a number of interested buyers. Hilary put her home up for private sale and together the women drew up the beginning of their plan.
The Ontario Cottage sold first. Mavis removed her most precious personal belongings to storage and as soon as the new owners were ready to take possession she would move in with Hilary temporarily.
For now, Mavis could still appreciate her old home and love its memories without the feeling of loss. The new family would bring fresh life to this home. They adored the heritage features and could not wait for their own home in St. Mary’s to be sold. They begged Mavis to sell them some of the antiques that looked perfectly in place in the cottage and she agreed to do so. It was a comfort to know Pete’s work would be respected and valued into the next generations.
It was time to move on to a new phase of her life with all the excitement that created. She knew she and Hilary would manage together. They had known each other long enough to understand how to maximize the good points and minimize the lesser points of their characters. What bothered her now were the possible problems created by the new members of their co-housing plan. It had not been possible to frame a plan whereby one new person at a time could be incorporated. The large sum of money required for the future home purchase needed initial contributions. Mavis was aware this financial requirement would eliminate many women. She was surprised they had any interested parties at all and now she had seen the four women, her doubts only increased.
Hilary would have to take her concerns about the four very seriously or the plan could be in jeopardy.
Mavis knew Hilary had spent months doing a feasibility study on co-housing projects. She was a good researcher and had found a variety of sites online with advice and cautions in equal measure. She was convinced they could make this project work. Her conviction was what worried Mavis the most.
Hilary, once set on a course, was a force to be reckoned with. She was like an ocean liner that cannot be turned quickly or easily.
Mavis Montgomery acknowledged and accepted her role as the quiet voice of reason to steer toward safety whenever the ship of Hilary Dempster was venturing into dangerous waters.
The second bedroom was prepared for Mavis’s eventual occupation, but Hilary took over the smallest of the three bedrooms as her office. She set up files in meticulous order with labels denoting clear headings about communal living. She found convincing arguments on both sides and maintained a running total of pros and cons. That list, pinned to a handy bulletin board was now larger than she had believed when she started out but it was almost neck and neck and that was of some concern.
“Better to have too much information,” she told herself, “than not enough.”
Surprisingly, she discovered this was not a new idea. The co-housing movement began in Denmark in the 1960s and there were now models in Australia and the U.K. In 2012 a California architect published a handbook on senior co-housing and in Canada there was even a Facebook page called Cohousing For Creative Aging.
Hilary pored over the various models and housing styles across Canada and found some were most focussed on developing building plans for blocks of apartment accommodation with the features of shared areas and social community. She suspected these ideas might devolve into pseudo retirement home look-alikes unless there was stringent supervision.
The sources she felt most closely mirrored her own plan, were those who advised smaller homes for no less than four, and no more than six, women.
What was common in all the advice was the urgent need for a new way of aging in place that could cost less than the $3,000 to $4,000 a month of standard retirement facilities. Most telling was the fact that when the money ran out for these fees the residents were not guaranteed a bed. Another factor that Hilary had not previously appreciated, was that in order to enter these retirement homes, a woman had to give up most of her possessions. The rooms for residents were small to allow the space for the impressive common areas.
Co-housing benefits included many social and emotional advantages as well as the ability to retain equity in their shared home. Hilary was well aware of the legislation, municipal and provincial, that must be considered when setting up such a situation. She would need a forward-thinking lawyer to oversee contracts for each person. She had already underlined on her list the warning to be built into these contracts. As a popular Survivor television program decreed, a disagreeable resident could be ‘voted off the island’ by unanimous decision of the others.
As the thought struck her that it’s all very well to have information, but when the theory becomes a reality and the actual persons who might be her housemates for years to come have been presented, good decisions must be made. Hilary left her desk and wandered into her bedroom where she found herself staring into the mirror behind the door.
It was past time to confront her true feelings on the matter of co-housing. It was essential to be clear on the intent and the practicalities before things progressed too far to make reversals. She straightened her broad shoulders and sucked in her stomach; a pose she had always found helpful when dealing with troublesome children or feckless parents. That added inch or two made her feel more powerful and allowed her to loom over anyone of lesser height just long enough to impress them with her capabilities. Now she lifted her strong chin and confronted her facial expression. Did she reveal uncertainty in those grey eyes? Had her mouth assumed the thin line that indicated displeasure? Was her short brown hair flopping over her eyebrows as it was wont to do in moments of stress? Was her complexion the normal shade of fading tan or was the blush of nerves highlighted her cheekbones?
She made her outer assessment and nodded approvingly at her image. Of course she could afford to lose a pound or three around her middle. Not a major concern at the moment. With the amount of work that was before her in the next few months, pounds should melt away without too much effort.
All was as it should be. Her appearance at least had passed the inspection. But what about her mental state?
She had to admit there were uncertainties in moving forward with the plan. In plain truth, it was all about choosing the right partners. One person out-of-sync with the other five might not be too much of a disruption as she would always be in the minority. But two, combining their disagreements, could be a disruptive force. She thought of the project as an orchestra in which the very different instruments were blended into a beautiful sound by the composer’s musical score. Without the guiding score, the sound would be ugly and discordant. She wondered what the equivalent of a score would be in a co-housing situation. Perhaps the house rules would act as a guide for the inhabitants.
What bothered her was the thought that the orchestra analogy lacked a conductor to ensure all the musicians arrived with their instruments in the correct place and time. Was it going to be necessary to have a house mother to oversee the activities of the house partners?
If so, it would be an onerous task at best and the possibility arose of that person becoming more of a dictator. Hilary stepped away from her mirror. She knew she was the obvious choice for such a role but she also knew she was the one who would most likely act as a dictator. In her first post as principal of a school she had become so anxious for the school to be a success that she pressed too hard on her staff and caused a deputation to go above her head to the area superintendent. He was a wise man who believed in her potential and who gave her both good advice and a second chance. She never made the same mistake again and she would not do so now in far different circumstances. Hilary Dempster was content to conduct the start-up process as a ‘guide on the side’ but she was determined not to attempt the role of ‘sage on the stage’.
At the end of her pro and con list she made the following notes:
Choose house-mates very carefully.
Select a house mother even more carefully and only when absolutely necessary.
Self-determination among adults is to be preferred.