Chapter 12

The Brownie

We rode on the largest of steeds, which Mums called a Plymouth Fury. The Fury hungered, so we stopped at a special stable, and the stable boy fed the Fury the stinky juice through its small mouth. The steed galloped, and my hair whipped in the wind. Mums wore a hat, to tame her tresses, and odd spectacles. Sight helpers, we called them, though her lenses were dark. Perplexing.

The Fury spoke and sung, but did nae answer questions. Mums said it was the radio. Perhaps Fury’s ears ailed. The odd creature had a hooplike device instead of a bridle with which Mums directed it, and she poked down with one foot to the right when she wanted to go and to the left when she needed to stop.

“Is the market far, Mums?” I shouted over the grumblings of the Fury.

“The French Market is not, but I need a few essentials for the house that aren’t available there. Toilet paper is one of them. Don’t let me forget, Winni!” Mums said, pointing her finger in the air, as if there was a yellow ribbon tied around it. Someone crooned “Wooo hooo witchy woman,” going on and on until, having picked up the words, I sang too. The steed had a lively voice, and I liked the way I swayed as we took the corners of the grand road. Mums was giggling and joined us.

This Earth was an amazing place full of wonderful things to explore. We pulled up to a massive keep with big lettering I couldn’t read. I tried to sound it out, until Mums helped me.

“Schwegmann’s!” She smiled and laughed with me over the interesting name. She called it a grocery store, and said if I liked the kitchen sink, they had everything but. That, I didn’t understand, but I was interested to see this sh-weg-man.

***

As we left the Fury and entered the keep, I almost lost my senses. Glassy-filmed, covered food of every kind imaginable, and some that you couldn’t even imagine, all for the taking! Mums grabbed a metal monster to carry our purchases. She plopped this and that in, filling the belly with skinned, cut, and deboned meats. The bird she bought had nae a feather on it, and the fruit lie round in piles! Glorious that, but with all the work preparing food done, what would she be needing me for? I worried. Mums pondered what else she needed and I supplied the toilet paper words she was looking for. She gave me a sturdy squeeze, and we waited in a big queue at the front of the keep.

The lady behind the small table poked and prodded at a prickly little box that beeped and buzzed its annoyance. Finally, Mums grabbed something from her pouch and bartered with her signature as she ripped the parchment from the stack. She handed it to the lady who looked bored, but I couldn’t imagine why? In all of my own excitement, I had come near wetting my knickers.

On the way home, Mums opened a bag of something she called Ruffles. They were lovely, crunchy things with lots of Kalvanian salt. I had a bit of the salt in the castle, but used it sparingly, since its price was so costly. Not wanting to appear greedy, I tried not to overindulge. Mums then popped the cork of something fizzy and told me it was a knee-hi, but I saw NEHI printed on the bottle. I followed her lead and took a big drink as we took off in the Fury. It tickled my nose, and I almost spit it out, laughing. What a wonderful world this was, and it was only my second day here. I first drank with giddiness and then with guilt because I enjoyed myself so much. The princess must be worried.

We visited the French Market next, and I was more at home with all the goods displayed by the vendors. Here, I would have felt more on my feet if I had known what we were bartering, but Mums kept digging in her bag for more parchment. In a whirl of time we had a plumper blue and yellow keekee with long blue tail feathers. The other had been scrawny and white. Convincing Sammy would be a challenge. Maybe the poor dear wasn’t so bright? I would try to ask before I made any more stews, and to think the cat in the alley would have all that keekee to itself.