Down on the riverbank, Sadie, Hannah, Simon and Tucker were all a little the worse for wear.
‘I reckon we should go back to your gran’s place and grab another couple of bottles of something,’ said Sadie, stretching out like a cat in the dappled sunlight.
‘Yeah, but not any more of that champagne stuff,’ Tucker said, pulling a face. ‘That was totally foul.’
‘We’ve still got some drink left,’ said Hannah, holding up the bottle of vodka and Coke as evidence.
‘Yeah I know, but we might want some more later and you were the one who told us it was a piece of cake last time,’ said Sadie, flicking her dog end into the remains of the campfire. Her speech was slurred and thick. ‘We’ll go and get some more booze and then we’ll go back to my place, okay? And then Si here can ring up for take-out pizza or whatever it is he wants,’ she giggled.
‘I don’t know,’ said Hannah. ‘The party is supposed to have started at seven. Everyone will be there by now.’
‘Yeah, but just think about it. That’ll be better for us, won’t it? Everyone already being there will make it easier to get in and get something without being spotted. You know, slip in under cover of the crowd?’ said Sadie, illustrating stealth with a hand gesture.
Hannah considered the sense of what Sadie was saying. Thinking through her plan, it seemed complicated and muddy, which Hannah guessed meant that she was most probably drunk. Finally. She tried hard to suppress a big grin. So this is what it feels like.
‘So what, you mean like all of us go back now?’ she said. ‘To my Grandma’s, or just me and Simon?’
‘Oooooo, just me and Simon,’ Tucker whooped in a horrible imitation of her voice.
Hannah glared at him, or she would have done if she could have focused properly.
‘Shut up,’ she snapped. ‘You’re just jealous.’ Her bottom lip felt numb and her voice sounded as if it was coming from a long way back in her head and even though she was thinking the words before she said them, when they came out she was surprised by how loud they sounded. This being drunk business was weirder than she had expected.
Between them, Sadie, Tucker, Hannah and Simon had finished off the champagne and drunk quite a lot of the vodka, and when she closed her eyes Hannah was disconcerted to discover that the darkness was busy going around and around.
Up until she had closed her eyes, Hannah had been watching Tucker move slowly across the clearing, approaching Sadie very carefully, like she was one of those insects on the wildlife programmes that bites the heads off the male. Stealthily he had moved closer and closer, watching Sadie’s every move until he had finally slipped onto the ground alongside her.
Hannah tried hard not to laugh as Tucker very cautiously slid his arm around Sadie’s shoulder and then settled himself back on the log so that she had no choice but to lean up against him. Just when it looked like he might have got it licked, Sadie suddenly stood up, brushed herself off, took another swig from the Coke bottle and then settled herself down again on an upturned milk crate by the remains of their campfire.
‘Did you say there was going to be food at the party?’ asked Tucker, pretending not to notice that Sadie had moved.
Hannah nodded. ‘Yeah, they’re going to have a buffet and stuff and a wedding cake.’
‘Well, in that case, Simon, trouser your cash, mate. We’ll eat when we get there,’ said Tucker brightly. ‘You think your mum and dad would mind if we crashed your gran’s party, Hannah? You know, just like grab some food and that? We don’t need to stay for long.’
Earlier, the thought of them all going to the anniversary party had seemed crazy, but now it didn’t seem like such a bad idea. After all, they were her friends, weren’t they? And even if her mum didn’t really like them, surely she could see that they were cool and she should be allowed to have some of her own friends there. It was only fair.
The trouble was that the thought was slippery and hard to hold onto, like a fish in her head. The fish idea struck her as really clever and then really funny and then Hannah giggled so much she rolled off the log she’d been sitting on, which made her laugh even more.
‘So do you think they’ll mind?’ asked Tucker.
Hannah did a big panto shrug. ‘I don’t know. Probably they won’t be that happy about it, because it’s mostly all their friends and my grandma and granddad’s friends, but they’re hardly going to chew me out in front of all those people, are they? And it’ll be a laugh.’ Hannah replayed the words in her head. Had she really said that? There was no way to take it back now because the others were getting up and ready to go. And maybe it would be a laugh.
‘What are you doing?’ asked Hannah.
‘Well, it sounds like a plan to me,’ said Sadie, brushing herself down and twisting her hair back up into a knot. ‘And anyway we can’t go round my place for a while yet, because my mum will still be there with what’s-his-face, all loved up and snogging,’ said Sadie, screwing up her face. ‘Not that I mind, you know, what she does is her business but you know . . .’ The words faded away.
Hannah stared at her; she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have a mum who brought boyfriends home. But Sadie’s thoughts had already moved on.
‘So we’ll head up to your gran’s, see what’s going on there, get something to eat, mingle with the wrinklies for a bit, and then we can grab some more drink and bugger off back to my house. Okay?’ She paused to see if there was any dissention in the ranks and then said, ‘Sounds like a plan to me. Tucker, bring the booze.’
Tucker did as he was told. Hannah, sitting in the dust beside the log, wanted to explain that it probably, maybe, wasn’t such a good idea after all, but she didn’t seem to be able to concentrate on more than one thing at once, and at the moment all her brainpower was focused on trying to stand up. How come she had never had to think about standing up before? Her legs felt very odd. Simon, already on his feet, came over and slipped his arm through hers, carefully helping her to stand.
‘Are you okay?’ he whispered. He was grinning and looked really cute.
‘Yeah, of course she’s okay, why wouldn’t she be? Leave her alone, you letch,’ sniggered Tucker, with a big grin.
Simon coloured crimson. ‘I was only—’
‘Yeah, we can all see what you were doing, get your hands off her,’ teased Sadie. ‘Taking advantage of the drunk. It’s illegal, you know. You should be ashamed of yourself.’
‘I’m okay,’ Hannah said aloud, although she was anything but, and then, catching Simon’s eye, she smiled. ‘Thank you,’ she murmured, brushing herself down. ‘I don’t think I could have made it up without you.’ Which for some reason made her giggle all the more. ‘Sorry,’ she spluttered. ‘My legs and my brain have gone weird.’
‘Are you sure you’re all right?’ Simon asked. His anxious expression made her want to laugh all the more but she managed to hold it together and made an effort to straighten her clothes. Hannah felt wrecked and wished she had a hair-brush with her. ‘I’m okay. I just feel a bit . . .’
‘Drunk,’ said Sadie loudly.
‘Sick,’ Hannah muttered with horror as a great wave of nausea rolled over her. ‘Oh my God, I’m going to be—’ and clutching her stomach with one hand and clamping the other over her mouth, Hannah ran headlong out of their den into the rough grass beyond. In her confusion and panic she picked the wrong side of the bushes and a split second later she found herself teetering on the edge of the riverbank, the momentum carrying her over the edge down towards the water. Slipping and sliding, she slithered messily down the slope, down through the dense grass and the brambles and the bushes, down to the very bottom where she threw up all over her new ballet shoes. And then she threw up some more, and then some more, until she was dry heaving and it felt as if she might cough up her whole digestive system along with maybe her lungs.
Finally, after what felt like forever, Hannah slumped down onto the grassy bank, trembling, shaky and cold, her stomach still heaving miserably with little aftershocks.
God, if this is drunk you can keep it, she thought, closing her eyes and wishing the world would stop tilting so violently. Another great wave of nausea rolled through her and she dropped onto her hands and knees, wondering if she was going to die, and just how angry her mum and dad would be with her if she didn’t.
*
‘What on earth is keeping your mum and dad?’ said Sam, catching up with Suzie inside the tent.
‘They won’t be long. They said five minutes.’
Sam raised his eyebrows. ‘When was that, ten minutes ago?’
She painted on a smile. ‘Something like that. If they’re not here in another couple of minutes I’ll go and see where they’ve got to.’
‘Everybody is getting a bit tense. What are they doing in there? And what about your sister, where’s she? I thought she was supposed to be out here with the hoi polloi, charming everyone with all that starry-eyed thing she does?’
He sounded annoyed and Suzie couldn’t work out why. One of the most basic tenets of her relationship with Sam had always been that they were honest with each other: no lies, no secrets, just the bare bald truth and it had always served them well. When had they stopped? She kept trying to work out when truths had become half-truths and the lies of omission, and when secrets had started being hidden away and not shared. Although maybe now wasn’t the time.
Suzie had known for months that Sam was unhappy and worried but now realised with a growing sense of unease that she didn’t really know any of the details. How long ago was it that they would have sat together in the kitchen with a coffee or a bottle of wine and talked it all through, turning the problem this way and that, holding it up to the light, trying to find an answer?
‘I’m sure Liz won’t be much longer either,’ said Suzie. ‘She’s outside chatting to her new man. And Mum’s probably rushing around trying to find something to wear. You know what she’s like.’
‘I know what you’re all like. While you’ve been in the house, I’ve been having a chat with Matt. Apparently there are lots of things you haven’t been telling me.’
Suzie felt a rush of heat. What the hell had Matt said now?
Suzie held on tight to the smile. ‘Really. And what would those be?’ As Suzie spoke she tried to spot Matt in among the throng. People had started to mill around. The sense of expectation and excitement felt close to anti-climax and disappointment. They couldn’t hold off on the buffet for much longer: the waiting staff were busy setting out trays of food on the long trestle tables. But Matt was nowhere in sight.
‘He was saying how well the whole walled garden project is doing – saying it might be time to think about expanding, maybe diversifying.’
‘Right,’ Suzie said, nodding cautiously. ‘Well, it might be.’
‘I can see where he’s coming from but I was bit worried it was all too much, too soon, and that you’d be outside of your comfort zone. You know – pigs and chickens and God knows what else. That is the idea, isn’t it?’
Suzie felt the tension in her stomach easing and nodded. ‘The estate manager has been talking about it for a while now; there used to be stables and piggeries and chicken coops attached to the garden and I know they’re really keen to get them back into working order. It’s really just a natural progression of what we’re already doing.’
Sam nodded thoughtfully. ‘It used to be that you and I would have talked about it. It seemed really odd to hear it from someone else.’
Suzie swallowed hard; he was echoing her own earlier thoughts. She could see that Sam was waiting for some kind of comment and finally said, ‘You’re right, but we haven’t really had the chance just recently, have we? What with the party and everything, and the girls and you working late or me down at the garden.’
He nodded and then smiled. ‘No. You’re right. So is there anything else you want to tell me while we’re here?’
Suzie bit her lip; just how hard would it be to say, ‘Actually there is something else I need to talk to you about’? Instead she hesitated, caught on the brink; surely this was just the right moment to say something about what she and Matt were up to but she just couldn’t find the words. Suzie stared at him and then tried out a smile. ‘Why, what else has Matt been telling you?’ she said, hedging her bets. God, this was madness, why didn’t she just tell him?
Sam sighed. ‘Nothing. Look, why don’t you go and see where your mum and dad have got to? We really ought to let people eat.’
*
While all this was going on, Jack and Rose were upstairs.
‘So what do you think, Jack?’ asked Rose, standing in the bedroom doorway of their cottage and striking a pose. Even with the bedroom windows closed she could hear the sounds of the people outside and music from the marquee.
‘White linen trousers, grey silk shirt and that gorgeous black and white chunky necklace you bought me in Paris. Nice and stylish and not too wedding-y?’ She laughed. ‘Come on, you might at least look, Jack. Do you think I should wear a dress instead? Or what about a jacket with this? I suppose I can always nip in and grab a cardigan later if it gets cold.’ She did a little twirl. ‘Well? What do you reckon?’
Jack was in a world of his own, sitting on the end of their bed looking out of the window, watching the revellers in the garden below.
‘My God,’ he murmured. ‘There’s Jonathon Jacobs and Laina, oh and look there’s Phil and Rachel – fancy them coming up from St Austell. All that way. You know, I haven’t spoken to Phil for years.’
Rose bent down and kissed him. It wasn’t like him not to answer her, nor to be so preoccupied.
‘Well, you will in a minute. You need to get dressed. We’ve been up here for ages. You can’t spend the whole evening sitting up here people-watching in your underpants. We need to get back down there and say hello to everybody. I’ve put a shirt out for you and those nice new trousers. Now what do you want, your cream linen jacket or your navy blazer?’
Jack didn’t move.
‘What’s the matter?’ Rose sat down on the bed beside him and took hold of his hand. ‘We can’t keep everyone waiting. They’re our friends and they’ve come to see us and help us celebrate – and you have to admit that the girls have done a lovely job. They weren’t to know about all the other stuff.’
He smiled at her, his handsome face full of love and concern. ‘No, I know that, but I was just thinking that Liz is right, that we really should have said something to them before. After all, it isn’t just about the divorce, is it?’
She smiled at him reassuringly. Her Jack, usually the strong one of the two of them, looked almost at a loss.
‘No, you’re right,’ said Rose. ‘And as soon as tonight’s over we can sit them down and explain. It’s not like we can turn back the clock and undo what we’ve done. It wasn’t till I started to tell the girls about it that I realised what a big thing it was to them. To be honest, I hadn’t really considered it to be that important. Us being together has always been the big thing for me, the important thing.’ She caught hold of his hand and entwined her fingers with his. ‘And you know I never take that for granted, don’t you, not for one moment, not one second. Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life – and it could have gone so horribly wrong. I could have lost you forever.’
Jack glanced up at her and smiled. ‘Come on, you’re right, we shouldn’t keep people waiting.’ He paused. ‘You know that Suzie and Liz have invited everyone who came to our wedding, don’t you?’
Rose sat down at the dressing table to put on her lipstick, a generous ‘O’ of dark coral that she had worn all her adult life. She smiled to check the effect; her choice in lipstick was older than her children. ‘And?’ she said.
‘Oh come on, Rose, you know where I’m going with this.’ She blotted her lips on a tissue and dropped it into the bin before glancing back at him over her shoulder. ‘Of course I do, but I’ve no idea whether she’ll be here. It’s all been a bit of a blur since we got back. And actually, given the circumstances, I think the girls have taken it very well.’
‘That isn’t what I meant and you know it,’ said Jack gently. ‘How do you think they’re going to take it when they discover that they’ve invited my second wife to our anniversary party as well?’