Day 40 / 20:16
‘Why don’t you just give up?’ Juliet asks, looking at his lopsided Family Tree. ‘Why don’t you believe him when he says he doesn’t know, or, if he does, he doesn’t want to talk about it?’
Noah can’t give up, nor can he use his stash of words to tell her how it feels to be gripped by this need to find out. The answers are out there, and until they are found his Family Tree will bend even further to the right, crowded on his mother’s side, underpopulated on the other. If only he had one name, one thread to pull at.
He’s trying to allow himself the words to tell her, but can’t force them past his clenched teeth.
Juliet steps up to him, pats him quickly on the back. ‘It’s okay, Noah,’ she says. ‘Seriously, it’s okay. I’ll help you, I promise. Maybe we can ask Maddie, too. We’ll both help you.’
After she leaves he sits at his desk and looks at his journal. He picks up (down-up-down-up) his pen, blocks his ears. He has to get his thoughts sorted out on this one.
If he writes it down, it might make more sense. He’s been kidding himself all along, he’s given up too easily. It isn’t his father’s fault he can’t finish this task. If Noah wants to find out more, it’s up to him to do more digging. Go deeper, head in a new direction. See what can be unearthed. See what, or who, emerges from the shadows. That’s his task, and Juliet’s set the idea free.