Maddie chats to Noah while her mom sips her tea and gazes into space. Thinking about Noah probably. Maddie doesn’t mind that. She’s glad it isn’t about her. She wouldn’t be able to handle that. The intense scrutiny, every move she made, every breath she took … okay, so that’s from one of her mom’s cds, but still. Maddie doesn’t mind all the attention being focused on Noah. Her mom loves her and that’s enough. Maddie stops. Rethinks. Her mom and dad. Her parents love her and that’s enough.
‘Maddie?’ Juliet’s voice is serious. ‘Noah’s got something to ask you. He needs your help.’
Then Noah’s explaining and his words are flying out of his mouth, pulling strands of story together.
‘It’s the Family Tree. Look here, I’ve made a rough copy.’
Maddie hasn’t heard him speak so fast, or so easily, in ages.
‘We have to be quick, Mads. Otherwise it will be time for you guys to go.’
‘Sure, Noah.’
Relax, she wants to say. Easy does it, bro, but instead she looks at Noah’s finger, jabbing at the sheet of paper.
‘That’s Dad’s side, Maddie.’
‘There’s nothing to see,’ she says.
A grin spreads across her brother’s face. Mom! Mom! she wants to yell, Noah’s smiling. But now Juliet’s talking.
‘Exactly!’ says Juliet. ‘There’s everything about your mom, about her family—’
‘And there’s nothing for Dad,’ says Maddie. ‘There never has been.’
‘There could be,’ Juliet’s talking for Noah now and he’s letting her. ‘Your dad says he can’t help Noah. He says his parents are probably dead. In fact, he won’t tell Noah anything. He says it’s none of his business.’
Maddie nods. ‘Yes, that’s what he always says and Mom says, “Leave it, kids, Dad doesn’t want to go there’.’’
‘So Noah’s stuck,’ Juliet continues, ‘but I told him not to be such a wimp. Your dad must have an id number. If we can find out what it is, we can get a lead, even if it’s only where he was born.’
‘We’re not sure if that would work,’ Noah’s joining in now, ‘but it’s worth trying. I wrote to him, Mads. I sent him an email … Well, actually, quite a few. I’ve been using all my Internet time on them.’
Maddie can imagine. Noah’s mega-persistent when he’s obsessing about something.
‘I told him it was really important. If I could leave it alone, I would. You know I would, don’t you? But I can’t.’ Noah’s talking even faster now and his fingers are starting their pre-tap tremors. ‘If I could get Dad’s id number, I reckon I can at least make a start.’
Maddie nods. It would be good to know if she has aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents on Dad’s side of the family. Interesting too. But if she never found out, would it bother her? Not much, she decides, and definitely not as much as it does Noah.
‘He wrote back,’ Noah’s filling Maddie in quickly, keeping an eye on their mother, ‘but he still says there’s nothing to talk about. He doesn’t want me “raking over the coals of the past”. That’s how he put it. He also said I had enough to cope with, trying to sort out my current problems, and adding this unhealthy obsession to the list of my complications wasn’t going to help me get better.’
‘Pretty harsh, hey, Maddie,’ Juliet says. ‘So that’s what we wanted to ask you. Can you find out your dad’s id number? Do you reckon you could do that?’
‘Me? I don’t know how—’
‘Could you just try, Maddie?’
Maddie looks at her brother.
‘Sure, Noah,’ she says, anything to take the worry off her brother’s face. He smiles, just slightly, and when Juliet elbows him he says, ‘Thanks, Mads.’
‘That’s cool, Maddie. Really cool. Okay then, I’ll let you guys chat for a while.’ Juliet gets to her feet, ‘Bye Maddie, bye Mrs Groome.’ And then she’s gone and Maddie and Noah are left alone on the lawn.
‘Noah,’ Maddie tries, ‘why is it so important to get all these details about Dad? Can’t you just start another project?’
Even as she asks, she knows the answer. It’s not the information that holds Noah in its grip, it’s knowing that the information is out there, waiting to be accessed and organised and contained. And once he knows for sure (absolutely and categorically) that there are no further roads to go down, he’ll be able to pack it all away. Their dad holds the key to Noah’s peace of mind.
Her mom’s standing now, but Maddie isn’t ready to go. She wants to spend more time chatting to her brother, letting him know how strange it is without him at home, how distant her parents have become. Noah probably won’t have any advice, but it would be good to share her fears with someone safe. Too much is happening too fast, and she’s being swamped by it all. It’s probably best for her to concentrate on one thing and worry about everything else later. And Noah is reminding her what that one thing is. ‘You won’t forget?’
‘No, of course I won’t.’
‘Thanks,’ he says, as if Juliet’s prodding him from a distance. ‘Thanks so much, Mads. See you next week.’ He looks up and says ‘Bye, Mom,’ and then he’s walking away before his mother has a chance to pat his shoulder. They watch as he walks up to the steps where Juliet is sitting, waiting for him. As he approaches, she stands and smiles at him. Noah says something to her, opens the door, and the two of them walk inside.