Maddie walks through the gates, up the path, up the steps, up to the school’s wide double doors.
Noah isn’t at her side. So she doesn’t have to worry about him, doesn’t have to hear the rumble of his voice on a bad day when he’s counting aloud or the regular sound of his breath on a good day when he’s happy to keep the numbers inside his head.
She doesn’t have to watch from the corner of her eye to make sure no one is messing with her brother. The only person she has to worry about now is herself. That’s the way it’s been for the last six weeks – forty-three days where it’s just been her and her parents. Forty-three days, and in all that time they’ve only seen Noah five times, for a grand total of ten hours.
She stops in the corridor, letting the others flow around her, no pattern, no routine, no need to keep walking at a regular measured pace. She’s on her own. How many times has she wished for this, allowed the guilty thought that life would be so much easier if it weren’t for Noah. But now, now there’s a gap at her side where her brother used to be and all Maddie wants—
A bump from behind and she stumbles forward.
‘Sorry, hey.’ It’s Kyle Blake and two of his friends. ‘Didn’t see you there without your brother. So, what’s new, Mad Dog?’ He laughs and his friends do too.
Don’t answer, that’s what Maddie tells herself, they’re not worth it, but anger wells fast and hot. The same anger that filled her when those bullies converged on Noah and mocked and prodded and tried to get a reaction from her gentle brother.
Kyle Blake hasn’t moved on. He’s standing in front of Maddie, eying her up and down, a slight smile on his thin face.
Maddie stares straight back at him. Don’t. Don’t answer him, she tells herself. But she can’t help it.
‘How are you doing, Kyle?’ she asks sweetly. ‘How’s your elbow?’ She doesn’t drop her gaze. ‘Are you going to be out of action for long?’
‘Another six weeks,’ he says, his voice a snarl. ‘Thanks to your brother.’
‘Thanks to Noah?’ Maddie says. ‘I reckon quite a few kids here are giving thanks to Noah.’
‘What d’you mean?’ He has to ask the question.
‘Well, it’s obvious isn’t it?’ She takes a deep breath to keep her voice steady. ‘You won’t be able to shove the little kids around half as well with only one arm.’
There’s a murmur of agreement from the students gathering around, eager to watch this peculiar standoff.
‘It’s easy, isn’t it?’ says Maddie. ‘Easy to pick on the little kids, or people who are different, like my brother.’
‘Your brother?’ He’s sneering now. ‘Your brother’s a psycho. Everyone knows that.’
‘My brother wouldn’t hurt a fly. He’s O … C … D, Kyle.’ Maddie spells out the letters as patiently as a primary school teacher. ‘Do you even know what that means? Do you know the prison he lives in? His life is one big set of rules and regulations, one huge battle, from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to sleep. And even then, he never really relaxes. Can you imagine what that’s like?’ Maddie moves a step closer.
Kyle is cornered and the wall of people around them is growing deeper.
‘I don’t have to listen to this sh—’ he tries to say
‘Oh yes you do,’ says Maddie. ‘You have to hear this from someone. If your parents can’t say it, I can. You’re a bully.’
‘Yeah right, your brother—’
‘Oh please. Give me a break. Your parents might buy that bullshit, and even Mr Reynolds. But you and I know different.’
Maddie stops, draws breath, looks at him quizzically. ‘So what’s it like?’ she asks.
‘What’s what like?’ Kyle tries some swagger. ‘What’s it like having to talk to a psycho-bitch like you?’
His friends snigger, but the rest of the students are quiet.
‘No, what I meant was, what’s it like being you? Do you actually like being mean to people? Do you like making them scared? Do you go to bed at the end of the day thinking, “Nice, Kyle, job well done”?’
Maddie’s in full flow.
‘You’re cracked. I’m outta here.’ Kyle tries to shoulder his way through the crowd, but Maddie’s next words stop him short.
‘That figures.’
‘What?’
‘When the going gets tough, guys like you can’t handle it.’
Kyle steps up close. ‘Listen—’
‘Listen who?’ She smiles at him sweetly. ‘Bitch, slut, slag, pyscho? How about Maddie Mad Dog? Is that who you’re talking to? Go on, then.’ She smiles again. ‘I’m all ears, waiting for the great and brave Kyle Blake.’
‘You’re as much of a freak as your brother. You should be locked up with him.’
‘Nice, Kyle. Very nice.’ Kyle is so close to her now that Maddie has to tilt her head up to look him full in the face. ‘I’d rather be with Noah than anywhere near you.’
There’s surprised laughter from the gathered crowd and Kyle’s face darkens. He opens his mouth but Maddie’s back in there before he can say a word.
‘You know you bullied him. Noah could wipe the floor with you with one hand tied behind his back, but you knew he’d never retaliate. So you went for him. Every time you saw him. Day after day. Just like you go for anyone you think is weaker than you, or different, or smaller. People who can’t fight back, especially when you’ve got your backup buddies.’ Her lip curls as she looks at the boys standing behind Kyle. ‘Don’t you realise? Hanging around with people like Kyle doesn’t make you better than anyone here. It just makes you …’ – Maddie searches for a word – ‘pathetic.’
‘Why don’t you just shut up,’ Kyle says, and the boys behind him nod. ‘Shut up and get lost.’
Maddie laughs. ‘You don’t scare me. You and your mom and your dad, you think you’ve won. But all three of you are just bullies.’
She stops. She feels like she’s going to be sick, but Kyle Blake and his henchmen can’t see that. She wants to rush to the bathroom and puke her guts out, but they’re not going to see that either. Instead, she turns away from Kyle Blake and leaves him yelling after her.
‘Hey, Mad Dog. You’re a whack job, you know that? Just like your brother.’
Maddie walks through the students gathered three-deep around her. Someone touches her on the shoulder, another gives her a thumbs-up as she walks past. A small girl squeezes her hand.
Maddie keeps walking. It’s only when she gets to the corner that she breaks into a run, heading straight for the girls’ toilets.