16:13
Noah can see his father is exhausted. His head suddenly sinks forward, like the weight of all he’s telling them is too heavy for his neck to hold. His mother, though, looks like she’s just starting to wake up.
‘And your sister?’ she asks. ‘Harriet?’
‘It was harder to track Harry down, but eventually Sebastian found her too. Harry and I made this our regular meeting place. Once a week, on a Sunday. We’re getting to know each other. Taking it slow. She’s been encouraging me to tell you the whole story, Kate. And you as well, Maddie, Noah. I told her I would, and I was nearly ready.’ Dominic looks at them in despair.
‘And then Kyle Blake and Greenhills happened and suddenly it was even more important that I tell you. But when it came to doing it, opening my mouth and saying the words … I was terrified. What if you walked out, Kate? What if I never saw my children again? What if I made their lives as difficult as mine when my father, my mother …’
His face is wretched, and Noah wishes his mother would reach for his father’s hand, say something to take the pain out of his eyes.
But then the waiter arrives with more coffee and Noah’s mother pulls the sugar towards her, opens two sachets and pours them into her husband’s cup. ‘Here, Dom.’
Something sweet, my pretties? For the shock?
The voice is high and fluting as a little old lady’s, tucked up in bed, welcoming Noah into a cottage in the woods.
Such a confusion of lies and secrets.
That’s right. It’s certainly confusing. And yet, it doesn’t feel chaotic. If anything, the more Noah’s father talks, the more it feels like things are slotting into place, making sense.
Noah waits though, just to be sure, to see if he needs to use his 5s. His right foot feels like tapping, but then his father starts talking again.
‘I wanted to pull both halves of my life together.’ His dad brings his palms together with a small clap. ‘Gabriel, meet Dominic. Dominic meet Gabriel, but then, with Noah in Greenhills and Ms Turner asking all sorts of questions – wanting me to tell her my deepest, darkest secrets – I panicked. I couldn’t do it. Not that quickly, that suddenly and not there, in her rooms. I swung between wanting to put it all out there, and wanting to bury it even deeper than before. I felt cornered, scared. And I was so cruel, Kate.’
Noah’s mother nods, but says nothing. She’s looking at his father now, her gaze unwavering. It’s not an accusing look, more a questioning one that asks, ‘And now? What more do you have to add?’ She wants the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, Noah thinks, and that’s what his father is ready to give.
‘I’d hear the words coming out of my mouth and wonder who this man was, why he was behaving so abominably to the woman he loved. I didn’t know myself, Kate. And I didn’t expect you’d ever forgive me for behaving the way I did … And then, when you told me Noah and Maddie were missing … It was one of the worst moments of my life.’
‘Mine too,’ says Noah’s mother.
‘I felt like it was all my fault. If I’d been there with you. If I’d kept a better eye on all of us …’