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The feel of his arms wrapped tight around Penny gave comfort and strength, and the hard body pressed against hers almost didn’t seem like it belonged to a man of their age. An overwhelming sense of safety washed through her. The quiet moment offered the space she needed to collect herself, though with his cologne filling her nose and assuring her it really was the man she’d vowed to cherish, her head spun and her heart raced in her chest.
Her husband. Alive and here. Somehow, he’d found her, just as she’d dreamed night after night. Her throat tightened as a sob tried to escape. For so long, she’d believed she’d made the worst mistake— done for the right reasons, but a colossal error nonetheless. How did she get so lucky?
She didn’t want to lift her head from his shoulder. Right now, this moment with its stillness, was perfect. In it, she didn’t have to confront the truths of her actions and the secrets he needed to know. She could simply soak up his strength and pray it gave her enough courage to face the hard road ahead.
She could scarcely face him. The care in his touch and the haunted look in his eyes filled her with guilt. How did he find her? How long had he known she was alive? Turning her face to him, she took in the dyed black hair and goatee. Her hand moved on its own, rising to press against his cheek, bringing those blue-gray eyes to hers.
Her breath caught in her throat when he smiled. “Penny,” he breathed.
She swallowed but her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. His smile grew wider and a hand smoothed down her hair. Deep crinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes. So much time had passed them by unnecessarily and it was all her fault. The hurt she’d caused sat like lead in her gut and brought tears to her eyes. When they spilled down her cheeks, he grew concerned.
His hold on her tightened and the bruises on her body sang. “Hey,” he said softly, thumbing away her tears. “It’s going to be okay.”
She couldn’t stop the waterworks now that they’d begun. “Sorry, it’s all a bit overwhelming. I thought you were dead.”
He gave a lopsided, apologetic smile. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“You thought I was, too.”
Like a knife through her heart, sadness touched his features. Penny squeezed her eyes closed to avoid the heartache staring back at her. Boy oh boy did they have a lot to talk about. To his credit, Damien held her against his chest in quiet. He breathed at her ear, his soft lips touching her with an intimacy she hadn’t known in so very long.
Suddenly, she wondered if he’d found another love, if he’d found someone to replace her. Twenty-three years was a long time to go without.
The thought caused so much pain in her stomach she almost doubled over. Damien asked if she was unwell, but she shook her head and buried her face against him, unable to face him or the awful possibility that he loved another.
“I’ve got you now. You’re safe,” he whispered, rubbing gentle circles over her back. “We’ll sort things through when you’re ready.”
Sort things through, he said, like she hadn’t put their family in danger, or torn it to shreds trying to protect what they’d built. What had her leaving done to him? “I am so sorry, Damien.”
“Shh,” he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “There’s no need for that.”
She pulled back to gape at him. “Of course there is. How can you sweep it all under the carpet?”
With a shake of his head, he leaned back. His smile had gone and his eyes were dark. “I’m not. I’d just, well,” he sighed. “Hell, Penny, I don’t know what to think right now. Part of me wants to talk but my mouth won’t work. This is neither the time nor the place. There is so much going on in my head.” As expressed by the lost look in his eyes. “For what it’s worth, I know you’re sorry. I am, too, but all I can focus on is getting you home.”
Home. Penny didn’t even know where that was. She hadn’t had an apartment in years, having spent most of her time with the organization, moving from one temporary accommodation to another to avoid the conflict battering whichever country they served. Sometimes it was little more than a cot in the staff lounges of the hospitals they worked in. Even when they returned to the headquarters in Switzerland, she lived out of hotel rooms. She’d never wanted anything permanent, not since she’d left Australia.
The others invaded her thoughts. “Bec? Francois? Christopher?”
He nodded. “All taken care of. They’ll be going home to their loved ones soon.”
More tears welled in her eyes. “Thank you.”
“You will come home with me, won’t you?”
The pull of her old life was impossible to ignore. Before she could answer, he blinked and a tear rolled down his cheek. “I’ve got you back. Please don’t disappear again.”
His words tore her heart in two but the press of his lips against hers stilled her thoughts. Despite the passage of time, he was as handsome as ever. The glide of his lips brought memories flooding back and she found herself clutching at his shirt to draw him closer. Familiarity of touch and taste woke every part of her and aroused a longing deep in her soul.
She’d lost track of many times she’d gone to sleep dreaming of his every kiss, of the way his touch filled her with such heat she thought she’d explode. His slow burning passion ignited her own and she reached up to brush her fingertips to his face.
Drawing back, he breathed heavily against her. “I couldn’t bear to lose you again.”
Saying sorry again didn’t feel like enough. Instead, she touched his cheek and nodded. “Home sounds wonderful.”
“We have so much to talk about, Penny, but we have all the time in the world. Right now, you need to eat. You need to get your strength back.”
As if in agreement, her stomach growled. He broke into a wide, happy smile and the delight in his eyes chased away the coldness in her chest. Without another word, he scooped her into his arms and left her room. Carried through the wide halls and down a large, spiral staircase, she tried to take in her surroundings but it was all a blur. Gratitude swelled inside her but when they entered an enormous dining hall, she wanted to order him to take her back upstairs.
Half a dozen faces turned toward her. Curious stares made her feel self-conscious. Damien carried her toward a group of five men she recognized from earlier. Each of them smiled with bright eyes and cheerful welcomes. From their body language, she understood them to be loyal to Damien and when he placed her on a chair amongst them, the wariness left her.
“These are the men who helped free you. Riley, Gabe, Ben, Hollywood, and Magnus.” He pointed at each as he introduced them. As he named them, they leaned forward with outstretched hands. “If you need anything, you just need to ask.” Damien leaned down to her ear. “If I’m not by your side, please make sure one of these men are. Excuse me for a minute.”
She watched Damien walk away but her attention was quickly drawn to the big Maori who scooted his chair next to hers. At almost three times her size, he smiled warmly.
“Ben, right?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Please, call me Penny. I take it you were all in the Army with Damien?”
The bald New Zealander nodded as Gabe excused himself. “He was our commanding officer.”
Damien had been a cop when she left, but she had kept tabs on him. His move to the military came out of the blue and surprised her. It didn’t matter what career he pursued; he would have been good at whatever he did.
“Where did you all serve?”
“East Timor.”
“And you still serve him now?”
Ben pulled a face, looking lost for words. “Hard to explain.”
A long story. One she understood inspired a lifetime of loyalty. “Perhaps one day, Ben.”
He answered with a curt nod. “He’s a good man and I owe him my life. We all do.”
Now she did too, but if she were honest with herself, she owed him far more than that.