‘IT’S A BEAUTIFUL MORNING. The sun is shining; it’s so pretty. I know how much you love the island in the winter. We have the trees all decorated and it feels very Christmassy. When you get better we can walk in the gardens.’ Gigi slapped her hand on the breakfast table. ‘Stupido! I never say things like that. Because we never walk together. Why am I even bothering? Okay. Okay.’
She took a deep breath, deleted everything and tried again, pressing ‘Record’ on the audio app on her phone. Take forty-five. ‘Oh, Papa, this is so hard. I barely talk to you face to face, never mind via a phone app.’
She stared out of the window and watched the lightning shadows of his horses galloping through the trees.
‘I hate to think of you lying there with all those machines around you, and with Dom not even being able to admit he’s your son. I wish I’d tried harder, Papa. I wish you’d loved me as much as I love you. I wish we could have been a proper family, instead of having so much distance between us. And I wish I could have trusted you enough to tell you about Leandro and how he was trying to blackmail me. I wish I hadn’t made that mistake in the first place but, well... I was lonely and he was fun at first.’
Lucas had been the polar opposite to Leandro. He’d been serious and uninterested in her and immediately she’d thought he was different. That was what had attracted her to him. His steadiness. His honesty.
She smiled at the thought of him. How many times had they made love in the last ten days? She’d lost count. Funny, she’d thought he’d hightail it back to Seattle as soon as he could break out of here but he’d stayed. Although she had a feeling he wasn’t here just to support her—the hospital work was part of the draw too.
‘I wish I could tell you about Lucas too...it’s actually really difficult. I don’t know what to do. I like him. I mean, I like him a lot. I’m having his baby, did you know that? Of course you don’t. We all keep secrets from each other. He’s...he’s lovely. You’d like him. Although if Dom hears about what we’ve been doing he might just kill him.’ She shook her head at the thought of all the complications this relationship brought with it—was it a relationship? ‘But, Dio, it’s nice to have someone here to keep me company instead of rattling around the place on my own like I normally do. I don’t think you realise how lonely it is here for me.’
The door opened and Lucas breezed in. ‘Hey, Gigi. You got up early.’
‘Lucas.’ She fumbled, trying to click off the app, almost dropping the phone in the process, which made it look as if she was doing something she shouldn’t. She laughed, trying to cover up her sudden awkwardness. ‘Um... You heard that?’
‘Just a muffled sound. Nothing really.’ He brushed a kiss on her head then helped himself to pancakes and berries.
She breathed out. Phew. ‘I’m trying to record another message for Papa, but I still feel silly talking into a machine.’ She pressed the ‘Delete’ button and then looked at him. ‘Binned that attempt too. I think I’m up to take forty-six today.’
He smiled, popping a berry into his mouth and putting a plate of food in front of her. ‘Eat. I know you won’t have and you need to. You’re doing great. Just say what you feel. Tell him what’s going on in your life.’
‘I don’t think Papa wants to hear about my everlasting nausea. Or about our child. Or about us. I’m basically hiding my whole life from him at the moment.’
Lucas’s eyes widened at the mention of us. ‘Just tell him what the weather’s like, that kind of thing.’
The recordings weren’t supposed to be a confessional, then. It had been a weird kind of therapy, though, just saying her feelings out loud.
Lucas looked out the window. ‘This place still confuses me, even after two tours. Remind me, where’s King Roberto’s suite?
‘In the Verde Wing at the other side of the palace.’
‘And Dom’s?’
She pointed towards the central dome and beyond. ‘Gathering dust over in the East Wing.’
‘So you generally mooch around here on your own?’
Had he heard her say she was lonely?
The last thing she wanted was him analysing that. ‘I have Maria and my staff. Friends you haven’t been introduced to yet. Growing up, Dom and I shared the nursery and then I moved into the Bella Vista wing. Oh, I spoke to him earlier and he mentioned something about the charity ball at your hospital on the twelfth and do I want to go?’
‘Oh? Interesting.’ Lucas frowned and she could see guilt slither back into his features. ‘He texted me this morning, too.’
Coincidence? Giada’s heart hammered. ‘Do you think he’s suspicious about where we are?’
‘I don’t think so. It was just a friendly You’re missing some fun times in the ER text. Fairly sure it wasn’t fishing for information...at least not in relation to you. More about when I’ll be back.’
‘And are you going to the ball? Back to Seattle?’ She’d known he would because he’d mentioned the charity event before they’d set off to come here.
An ache crept under her ribcage. This lovely bubble would burst the minute he stepped onto his plane and then she’d lose him to his life there. She’d tried to shield herself, of course, but he’d been too all-consuming to ignore.
As she expected, he nodded. ‘Of course. It’s the biggest charity event of the year and duty calls. I asked him to grab me a ticket. Are you going to go?’ He caught her gaze. Paused. Then, ‘Do you want to come? As in...with me?’
Her chest bloomed with warmth and excitement. ‘Lucas Beaufort, are you asking me on a date?’ So far, over and above their public outings, their intimate getting to know you had been in the confines of each other’s suites.
He grinned, scraped his chair back and came around to her side of the table. He pulled her up, twirled her round, sat down and pulled her onto his knee. His mouth found hers and his kiss was filled with promise. Interesting, after an already busy kind of night. He was insatiable. Grazie Dio. ‘It’ll have to be an incognito date.’
‘The best kind.’ She grinned. ‘And I can see Papa too. That will be wonderful. I’ll make arrangements for my absence. Yes, I have to make formal arrangements, I can’t just flit around like you do.’
‘Will we tell Domenico?’ His hands circled her waist under her blouse. ‘About the baby?’
She shivered at his touch and in anticipation of where his hands would go to next. ‘Not yet. After Papa’s operation. But he’ll definitely need to know before the announcement.’
‘Announcement about...the pregnancy?’ His hand stilled.
She thought about the way Bianca had looked at her the other week. ‘I was thinking in the New Year. I can’t just hide away until the baby is born, I need to be out working and I can’t risk more gossip and speculation. Women instinctively know when other women are expecting—it’s a thing.’ At his raised eyebrows she said, ‘They do, I promise. And, yes, just being the public face of the hospital is work for me. A royal endorsement brings in sponsorship. Outside the palace I’m always working. My life isn’t my own. It belongs to the nation and...’ he knew already but it had to be said ‘...so will our child’s.’
Lucas looked as if he’d swallowed a lemon at that, but he wasn’t the only parent of this child; they both needed to learn how to compromise. She steeled herself against his reaction. ‘I know, Lucas. I know, you have something to say about that too.’
But to her surprise he nodded. ‘Okay. Yes. I understand. An announcement early in the New Year. This is real, isn’t it?’
‘Yes. It is.’ She put his hand on her belly. ‘I was thinking...’
‘Oh, no.’ His head shot up and he winced jokingly. ‘Is that a good thing?’
‘Always. You’ll need to tell your parents too before the announcement is made.’
His mouth went flat and his eyes grew dark as he visibly shut down emotionally. ‘No.’
‘Lucas. Please. They need to know. I don’t think you quite appreciate the media interest.’
‘I’ve read the social media comments. I’m learning.’
‘So you’ll understand that your family will be bombarded by journalists. Their social media accounts will be scrutinised. They’ll be followed, hounded. Even if you don’t care what your family thinks about this child, you need to at least warn them about what’s going to happen.’
‘No.’
‘Lucas. Please. It’s not fair.’ He didn’t have to say that his parents hadn’t been fair to him because she knew they hadn’t. She turned round and straddled his lap. ‘If I could erase any of what they did to you, I would. I hope this child will be the balm you need to believe that families can be a good thing.’ His lip curled. She kissed it. ‘I know you don’t want a family, Lucas, but I guess...in some shape or form we will be one.’
And yet, despite knowing how much he didn’t want a family, she kept having this image in her head of the two of them with a baby and it looked so...perfect. So...everything.
Impossible.
He stilled. ‘How? How will we be a family?’
‘We’ll work it out.’
He blinked. Looked at his food then lifted her from his lap and sat her down next to him. There was a strange awkward silence as he filled a glass with orange juice. Did he even want to work it out?
Then his voice cut through her worried thoughts. ‘Who is Leandro?’
‘So you did hear.’ So much for this being a beautiful morning. It felt as if all the happiness she’d been feeling for the last few days was suddenly sullied.
Lucas stared at the plate of food. ‘Maybe a little.’
‘Leandro is in the past.’
‘I want to know what happened.’ After the emotionless response about his parents, this heated reply was interesting. He was all or nothing, a roller-coaster of emotions when it came to people he cared for and blankness to those who’d hurt him. Now his eyes blazed, which meant, she realised, he cared a great deal. ‘Is he the one who blindsided you?’
Not wanting to remember that episode of her life, she blew out a breath. ‘He was a big mistake I’d rather forget.’
‘But not enough that you mention him to your father.’
She inhaled sharply. ‘You heard it all?’
The lonely bit? The bit about her caring for him? Her heart hammered. He couldn’t... She wouldn’t... She didn’t want him to know how much she liked him, and give him ammunition to hurt her in the future.
His eyebrows rose. ‘I caught the tail end. Paulo stopped me in the corridor and asked about laundry. Then as he left I heard you talking. I didn’t realise it was with your father. I didn’t want to interrupt. Tell me about Leandro.’
‘It’s all been deleted anyway. Now you have to go to work.’
‘Tell me, Gigi. I know every time you’re thinking about him because I can see the pain and hurt in your beautiful face. Tell me. No secrets.’
‘This is all a secret.’ She waved her hand around the room, finishing with her palm on his chest, wishing she could scream to the world that she’d spent ten wonderful days with Lucas.
‘I meant...’ He took hold of her hand. ‘No secrets between us.’
So there was no escape, and he was right too: he’d been honest about his parents and that had helped her understand so much about him. Maybe, this way, he’d understand why Isola Verde was so important to her and why she was determined to do some good for her people.
She sighed, wrung her hands together and began. ‘Leandro...was the ultimate life lesson. I met him in Naples at a party. He introduced himself as the son of an old aristocratic family. Good breeding, of course. I liked him. By which I thought he was hot... Oh, the craziness of youth only ever attracted by good looks and witty words. Turned out he was liar and a cheat and he played me.’
‘A player played you?’ Lucas’s eyebrows rose. ‘Wow, Gigi. I’m surprised.’
‘You and me both. Turned out he was just a social climber who hadn’t been honest about his background. We’d been dating a few months and then out of the blue he proposed. I was shocked, you know? We hadn’t been serious; it had been fun but he wasn’t special to me.’
She thought back to Lucas’s proposal. Well, hell, they were two completely different scenarios. One empty question but with a backdrop of roses and champagne and a private plane to Paris, the other an off-the-cuff panicked question in a Seattle bedroom with takeaway pizza.
But even though Lucas hadn’t been wanting her to say yes, his proposal had at least been made with the best intentions. She sighed. ‘When I said no, we were too young, it was too sudden, he became difficult, angry, threw things. Nothing violent towards me, but because of me.’ She shuddered at the memory. ‘This was one time I was relieved to have Maria in the next room. I had him thrown out of the hotel, told him I never wanted to see him again and thought that was the end of it, but it wasn’t.’
‘He threatened you? Hurt you?’ Lucas’s hands fisted.
‘Not physically. A few weeks later I started to receive calls, no message or voice but replays of our conversations, of our...intimate moments. You know, the things you say when you’re unguarded, when—you know, in the throes of passion.’
‘There was a sex tape?’ Lucas’s lip curled and his eyes darkened.
Humiliation hummed through her. ‘I don’t know if there was a video. I don’t remember anything about a camera...ever. But there was a recording and enough to tie that voice, those...sounds to me. Pretty soon texts came thick and fast, belittling me, repeating things I’d said about my father. Then there was a request for hush money.’
‘Blackmail too?’ Lucas looked at her in disbelief but there wasn’t judgement, just shock.
She nodded, her mouth drying. ‘I paid the first amount, but he wanted more. I refused. Then he said he’d sell the story to the local press, but that he wouldn’t stop there.’
‘Total jerk.’ Lucas shook his head. ‘Gigi, I am so sorry this happened to you. Not all men are like that.’
‘I know.’ She’d just allowed herself to be duped by the worst sort. ‘I don’t know if the sale was made. I managed to keep it quiet, well—between me, Maria and a big threat of Royal action and a court case. Plus, after a little digging into his background we had a few more things we could use against him. He eventually got the message that we were serious and I haven’t heard from him since.’
Lucas stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. ‘I am so sorry, Gigi.’
‘Me too. I’d come so close to shaming my family, the Crown, the country. Remember, I already had a reputation as a troublemaker and party girl and Papa was at his wits’ end. I was reeling from the lucky escape I’d had by managing to keep it from him, always being on tenterhooks that Leandro would somehow get the recording to him. I didn’t know what to do; my head wasn’t clear for a while. I was broken and felt like I was going around in a daze.
‘Then, one day, I went for a drive around the city and passed the beautiful gardens that had been created in my mother’s memory down in the old quarter. There were children playing, people enjoying the flowers and the sunshine, smiling, laughing in a space where she would always be remembered as someone special. She’d done so much for the community and was adored by everyone, and it got me thinking that all I’d ever created was pain and embarrassment. What was my legacy? Trouble, that’s all. It hit me hard then... I didn’t want to be remembered for yet another salacious gossip story; I wanted to create something I could be proud of.’
Lucas’s eyes lit up as he joined the dots. ‘The hospital.’
‘Exactly.’ She nodded. ‘I dedicated a ton of time and energy to it and I’m damned proud of it. It was much needed and has already made a big difference to people’s lives. And while I hate that portrait in the foyer, it reminds me how far I’ve come.’
‘I can’t even...’ Lucas kicked his chair back and stalked across the floor. ‘Where the hell is that scumbag now?’
‘Long gone and I don’t care. You shouldn’t either.’
‘I want to punch him. I want to... Giada, I am so angry...’
He was so passionate about defending her, so ardent in his rage for her, it made her blood pound. She caught him and put her hands to his face. ‘Lucas, you are magnificent.’
‘I can’t...’ He shook his head, nostrils flaring as he swayed out of her hands. ‘How could anyone treat you like that?’
‘Because I let him. Because...’ Her heart stung with the memory of embarrassment, self-hatred and the very sharp wake-up call that she could not be the Silly Princess any longer.
She’d never told anyone about this before, apart from Maria, of course. But saying it out loud was freeing and meant she could place it firmly in the past behind her. She knew she could entrust it to Lucas. Seeing his reaction, she knew he was on her side. ‘I just wanted to be important to someone.’
He stared at her, so much empathy and affection in his eyes as he pulled her into his arms, wrapping her tight.
‘Hell, Giada, you’re important to me,’ he whispered against her throat.
‘Oh, Lucas.’
No one had ever said anything like that to her before. It was an understanding of who she’d been and how far she’d come. That she was worth something. He saw her, he heard her. He accepted her.
It was everything.
Something had shifted between them, something deep and profound. More, she knew it had taken him a lifetime to be able to say those words to someone. And he’d chosen her.
Her heart stuttered as she took his kisses and his ardent, passionate words.
And wished, with all her being, she could let herself believe him.