FINAL YEAR DIARY: Auckland, 5 August 2015

Recorded via cellphone at the Auckland Airport Novotel, hours prior to departure for Sydney to play the Wallabies.

When the test in Samoa was first announced, I hoped I’d miss it. Not because I wasn’t excited about the opportunity to create history, but because I wanted to win one last Super Rugby title as a Crusader. That didn’t happen, and by the time the game came around I was way up for it. There’s something special about the first test of the year, and for it to coincide with our first-ever game in the Islands meant it was doubly special.

We landed to an incredible reception: utter chaos, with thousands of people at the airport to greet us. It was easily the biggest and most boisterous crowd I’ve witnessed outside of New Zealand, post the World Cup win. All in another country! We boarded a bus for the 40-minute journey to our hotel, and every village we passed through was a sea of All Blacks and Samoan flags and banners. The entire nation was focused on nothing else.

The following day we boarded a windowless bus for another parade through the streets of Apia. It was pandemonium of the best kind, and led us to a ceremony welcoming us to the country, which only served to heighten the sense of occasion. We’d all dressed in lava-lavas, which was fun, though Luke Romano will likely regret not keeping his legs closed while sitting in the front row. He gave the cameras an eyeful, which circulated widely on social media. The guys won’t let him forget that in a hurry.

On the day of the test we were very conscious of the heat. The only time I’ve ever played in similar conditions would have been pre-season games in Brisbane, which are very different to a test against a Samoan team as fired up as they’re ever likely to be. As we walked out the crowd were extraordinary — so passionate, which made you acutely aware of what a special and likely unique match it was.

The test itself didn’t live up to the occasion. The game’s proximity to the Super Rugby final — exacerbated by it being contested by two New Zealand teams — meant that there were a lot of new combinations, and some players gaining a cap who might never otherwise have been called up. But the selectors had no choice under the circumstances.

Our performance was also a function of their brilliant play. The speed of their defensive line meant I put up a few cross kicks to the opposite wing, what we call a ‘kick-pass’. These were signalled for by the wingers, and one came off in pretty spectacular style for George Moala, who brilliantly regathered my kick to score on debut. But otherwise it was an error-ridden performance, though take nothing away from Samoa — they were immense.

I think I played an okay game generally, though I was pleased with my boot, but was most happy to make it through uninjured, and to have had a good run at 10 for the All Blacks. Every game in the jersey at this point feels very special.

The following morning we flew back to camp in Christchurch ahead of the opening of the Rugby Championship against Argentina. With the arrival of the Hurricanes and Highlanders the squad swelled to 41, the biggest I’ve been part of, and we barely fit on the team bus. It was another goodbye in a year full of them. My last test in Christchurch, and perhaps my final ever game in the city. It was also my first All Blacks test there in some time, too, and I was happy to once again start at 10, and show some improvement. I’m not yet satisfied with my game, but just having time in the jersey and a prolonged period without injury is a great feeling after the past couple of seasons.

In the sheds after the game, Steve approached me to let me know I’d be missing the trip to South Africa. My immediate reaction was one of disappointment. Ellis Park is one of the most hostile environments in world rugby, and I relish the challenge of withstanding that onslaught. But I understood the reasoning, and felt fortunate to have had the first two starts of the season.

It also gave me some more time at home with the family. Young Fox is growing up fast. He’s four months old and rewarded his tired mum by sleeping through the night for the first time on 1 August. It was nice to have a brief spell where I was something like a normal dad, and able to get some sustained time with the children.

Despite missing the test, it wasn’t much of a break. Nic Gill thrashed me with my training regime, so I’ve been falling asleep more exhausted than ever. It feels good, though, and my body is responding well to the work.

I was as surprised as anyone when Lima Sopoaga was given the start over Beauden against the Boks. That said, he played brilliantly, and I really rate the guy, having roomed with him in Christchurch. He’s level-headed and asked all the right questions. I think he’ll have a terrific career and be a real asset to the All Blacks in years to come.

More than anything, I’m happy with the amount of game time I’ve had. Starting my third test of the year, as I will this weekend, makes me feel like the jersey, once slipping from my grasp, is mine again. In less than two months we’ll be into the teeth of the World Cup. I can’t wait.