Chapter 30: Love’s Sacrifice

Kazuki and Yuji made their way into Mumarch’s house, climbing over the pile of rubble as he had done. The remaining part of the house held what was left of the cooking area and the family room. A fire burned in the stove and a pot boiled on top, but inside they found only clear water. The family room was barren of any furniture it might once have held. Now there was only a jumbled blanket and a thread-worn pillow, to indicate where Mumarch had slept.

A framed picture sat on the floor beside the sleeping spot. A pretty tanuki[57] stood with a smaller version of herself snuggling in her arms. Beside them, a fawn-haired man smiled with his hand on the shoulder of a young boy who had his mother’s eyes but his father’s skin-tone and hair. The man in the picture barely resembled the one outside. Had he stained his hair to disguise himself for some reason, or had it been an effect of the dark magic he’d learned?

Kazuki spotted a book peeking out from under the blankets. It seemed to be a diary kept by Mumarch’s late mate, but then the writing changed near the end. Newer entries added by Mumarch included details on his lengthy studies of magic and things he’d learned from forbidden texts. They would need to try to find those books to seize them.

“What is it?” Yuji came to stand beside his brother.

“A diary. Mumarch wrote down pretty much everything he did, including killing Aya.”

“Does it say what he did with Karasu?”

Kazuki flipped to the last entries, hoping they’d been written within the last day or two.

Risa Half, Kisa Full, Twelfth Cycle, 219 AU

Tomorrow I will go to the human world and take the girl’s life. I will make Kazuki think Yuji defiled and murdered her. If he is any sort of man, it will drive him insane and he will kill his brother before Yuji can act on his newfound desire to “work things out.” Indeed, this change in plans is fitting. Just as our youngest went first, so too shall the king’s.

After a suitable time has passed, I will arrange to meet with Kazuki. I think it best to approach him as a friend of his late brother who was privy to his thoughts before his death, then use these ramblings to continue to drive him further into grief. Once I have him broken enough, I’ll arrange his death to look like suicide. No one will question it when he’ll have lost so many he loved.

Do not think ill of me, Safina, I am no ogre. I know that girl is a true innocent in all this. I will only scare her enough to ensure her fear scent fills the area. I have made a potion to kill her as quickly and painlessly as possible, so it will be as if she is asleep. I have no intention of bedding another woman, though I may have to touch her a bit when frightening her. Believe me, it will be no different than my touching the dirt outside.

The prince will be so shaken by her death that simply seeing her with her clothes torn will be enough to convince him. And I’ve already taken care of the child. The boy should be back in Throklana, running a fool’s errand where my pets will keep him safely out of the way long enough for me to get the deed done. By the time anyone realizes he was tricked, it will be over.

 

Risa Half, Kisa Full, Twelfth Cycle, 220 AU

Things did not go as I planned. The girl’s illness, I did not know it was of such a nature that running from me brought her to death’s door. I did not get to deliver the potion to her; by the time I realized what was happening it was too late. I was afraid to use it, for I wasn’t sure she could swallow it properly.

Believe me, Safina, I did not mean to make her suffer. Did I not set her free, even as she seemed to take on your countenance while lying in my arms, gasping for air? How many more times must I live out that day?

And that boy, oh, that foolish, stupid child. He returned sooner than I expected. Surely he knew I was far stronger, yet he jumped to help her. I reacted without thinking, not realizing it was the child at first, and my fighting instincts took over. How much it hurt to see him standing there, looking so much like our Raiowano, ready to protect that human whom he called sister. It shook me, I admit, but at that point, I had no choice. There was no more time, and he was in the way.

I forced myself to dispatch him, and yet, how could I leave him there? Before I fully realized it, I’d picked him up before leaving the girl’s home. Upon returning home, I carried him

 

“Carried him where?” Yuji asked.

“The entry stops there.” Kazuki glared at the page, trying to make meaning of Mumarch’s ramblings. What had he done with Karasu and who was the Safina he kept referencing?

“Let’s search the rest of the village. I think he lied about eating Karasu,” Yuji said.

“But why would he say such a thing?”

“Who knows? Maybe he realized he was wrong to blame Father and wanted to goad one or both of us into killing him, so he wouldn’t have to answer for his crimes.”

Yuji led the way out of the house. They split up and searched every remaining structure, even ones comprised of little more than a few burnt wooden beams. There was no sign of Karasu. Mumarch must have hidden his body elsewhere.

Heavy-hearted, they decided to return to the human world to retrieve Sakura’s body and send a search party back to find Karasu’s body. It would eventually cause some twittering among the populace; there’d be no way to keep it secret that a human was buried in the royal cemetery as Kazuki’s mate. But, right now, he didn’t care. They could fuss all they wanted. He wanted her there with him.

First, they stopped at the castle to fetch a second transportation stone to help move her without having to take her body through the portal, allowing Kazuki some privacy while he buried her. When they arrived, Reito stood near the entrance. Beside him, was their father. For a moment, Kazuki felt a burst of resentment. Too late, yet again.

Hating himself for even thinking such a thing, Kazuki dropped to one knee along with Yuji, bowing deeply.

“Father, you’ve returned.” Yuji managed to smile as he went forward to shake his father’s hand. Toramaru pulled his younger son in for a hug.

“Yes. Forgive me for being gone so long.” He looked at Kazuki over Yuji’s shoulder. “Reito has told me of the spat between you and that some other party was involved who wished you separated. From the wounds you bear, am I correct in presuming you identified this person and dealt with him?”

“Yes, Father. It was a man named Mumarch, a survivor of Uragiri,” Yuji answered for them both, giving his father a brief summary of what transpired.

When Reito heard of Karasu’s death, his pain was visible before he hid his face behind his hands. It was one of the few times Kazuki could remember his emotions emerging in public.

Toramaru put a hand on Reito’s shoulder as he let out a heavy sigh. “The curse comes home at last. I only wish I’d known it would touch the two of you like this. We will send a search party to Uragiri at once to look for the child. If he took him home with him, he may have hidden him in the surrounding woods and hill country.”

After the order had been given to a nearby guard, Kazuki stepped forward. “Father, I am glad you are home. I know we have much to talk about, but for now, I would like to return to the human world. My Sakura, I would like to place her beside mother.”

“Of course. I shall go with you.”

Yuji remained behind to coordinate the search for Karasu. Before they solidified in Sakura’s garden, Toramaru used his magic to create a shield that ensured no one would see him or Kazuki when they appeared, a fortunate thing, as police officers had overtaken the residence.

Yellow tape stretched across Sakura’s side door and around the front of the house.

“What is going on?” They maneuvered around the officers, taking care not to touch them, as the spell only hid them from sight. After they ducked under the tape, Kazuki led his father inside. In the hall, more officers stood. The place where Sakura’s body had been now bare. In the door, two officers kneeled in front of Karasu’s pool of blood.

“Dammit, where did they take her?”

“Stay calm, Kazuki. First, to ensure we don’t have any unnecessary questions—” Toramaru held up his hand. It glowed briefly. The blood near the front door changed, though the humans didn’t react. “Now it is only spilled liquid. As for your girl, where did you see her last?”

Kazuki pointed to the spot by the stairs. Toramaru walked over and held his hand above the area, his eyes closed. He stayed that way a few minutes, then stood.

“Two girls about her age came and found her here. It was they who called the emergency services.” He walked over and put his hands on Kazuki’s shoulder. “My son, when they found her, she was still alive.”

“What? Then where…a hospital, they would have taken her there!”

“Yes, and I know which one. Let us get away from this scene, and we shall go there and see what has become of her.”

Once they were near the hospital, they used their glam spells to attain human appearances, and Toramaru dropped his shield. In the emergency area, Hina and Akari huddled together on a bench, with Genji and Aki standing nearby. Akari saw them approaching first. She marched up to Kazuki, slapping him in the face.

“Akari!” Aki grabbed her as she leaned forward, her hands balled in fists.

“Where have you been? You couldn’t even leave a number or something to reach you at? How could you leave her alone like that?” Tears ran down her face as Aki continued to hold her.

The initial sting had dissipated, but the burning sensation that remained paled compared to the sharp barbs thrown at him. It was his fault; he’d left her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think anything would happen in the few days I was gone. Please, Sakura, where is she?”

“In there.” Hina pointed to the window across from the bench on which they’d been sitting. Kazuki looked through the tinted glass. Sakura lay on the bed with so many tubes and wires coming out of her that she looked almost inhuman. Several doctors and nurses stood around her, including Tenma. He briefly looked up at Kazuki, but his expression offered no hope.

Her body was so still. From inside, the same sort of beeping emanated as during her doctor’s visit, the one for the heart monitor. Only now, the sounds were spaced much further apart than before. Turning his senses up, he confirmed her heart barely beat. Somehow she was alive, but for how much longer?

Hina walked over and put her hand on the glass. “She stayed out of school today, so we came by to check on her because she hadn’t been well yesterday. When no one answered, we got worried. Then we saw that the side door was open. We found her inside, lying on the floor. And there was blood on the wall and by the door, so we called for help. The police said she probably surprised a burglar or something, but they couldn’t explain the blood.”

“We went to the house first. They told us it was not blood, only spilled juice,” Toramaru replied before Kazuki could.

“Who are you?” a calmer Akari asked. Aki released her from his grip, but took one of her hands in his.

“This is my father.” Kazuki moved away from the glass. “He returned with me to meet her.”

“Pleased to meet you.” Akari bowed, a light blush covering her cheeks. “I’m sorry for my outburst.”

“Do not fret. In a time like this, it is an understandable reaction.” His father bowed in return.

With nothing left to do but wait, Kazuki sat on the bench, his head bowed as he prayed to every deity he could think of to somehow grant her a miracle. As Hina reclaimed her seat, Genji moved closer to hold her hand. Calmer, Akari leaned against her brother’s shoulder. In silence, the group waited on.

An hour later, the doctor came out and walked over to them. Kazuki bolted up. “Dr. Tenma, how is she?”

“I wish I could say she is improving, but so far…” The exhausted-looking man shook his head. “I…I’m sorry, but you should prepare yourselves for the worst. We’ll keep working, and I know Sakura-chan, she’s a fighter, but this time…I’m not sure if she’ll even wake up again. For now, we’ll have to wait and see.”

Toramaru looked at the can the human child Akari pressed into his hand with bemusement. How long had it been since he’d had one of these hot canned coffees? As he drank it, he watched his oldest son. He hated that he and Yuji had ended up paying the price of the mistakes of Uragiri. As well as losing young Karasu, Yuji had lost his long-beloved Aya, and Kazuki would soon lose his Sakura. Toramaru knew the doctors’ efforts were futile. They were only prolonging the inevitable. Her body was failing and had passed the point of human salvation. She would be dead by morning, at the latest.

Though death was inevitable for all mortal beings, he’d hoped his sons would be spared such pain until later in life. He thought of his beloved Kita and having to watch helplessly as she left them. At least he’d had the comfort of his sons, in whom he could see bits of her. His boys would have nothing but memories and regrets. So many regrets. There was nothing Toramaru could do for Yuji other than support him as he healed, but perhaps for Kazuki…

He shifted so that he could ensure the edge of his cloak, which masqueraded as a coat in his human disguise, was touching Hina. Closing his eyes, he muted his regular senses to open his sixth one. Like all rulers of Throklana, he’d been blessed with many powers during his reign. New ones were bestowed upon him each century during the ceremony to renew his right of sovereignty.

No one quite knew where the powers came from or how it happened, only that they came during the ceremony and only once every one hundred years. His shield of invisibility was one such power, and one well known to all. Others, like the ability to read people’s memories when touching them, he kept well guarded. Unlike his other powers, this one had come upon him after the loss of Kita. The only one who knew of it now was Reito, who he knew would carry the secret to his grave.

Since he’d gained the power some two centuries ago, the few times he’d used it had been to ensure those he was dealing with were acting with honest intentions, in cases where duplicity would have jeopardized the kingdom. No usage came without a heavy dose of guilt at spying into people’s intimate thoughts and memories.

Today was the first time he’d used the power for personal reasons, as a father wanting to help his sons, if possible. If anything, the guilt was worse, but it didn’t stop him from using it to read Hina, and through their clasped hands, Akari.

Their emotions came first, a combination of colors and simple tastes. The black, bitter grief and sour yellow fear for the girl who lay in the room across from them, followed by the sweet pink warmth of love and blue shades of respect that lingered like a rich sauce. Then he began shifting through the memories, including the things Sakura likely did not know, such as how Hina had stood up to some others who’d tried to force her to stop hanging out with the girl. And Akari scaring them off with her own defense of the girl, even though she’d still been torn between what she’d seen and the person they’d come to know. The two spending hours together over the last week, folding one thousand origami cranes to bring Sakura good fortune.

As his only interest was in learning more about Sakura, he tried to keep the power focused to just those areas, but it was an inexact science. A few extra memories slipped through, based on tenuous associations to her, such as Hina’s wondering where Sakura would want to go to college and Akari’s contemplating talking to Sakura about her recent first kiss while being afraid of what she would think.

Satisfied he’d learned all he needed to know, he closed the connection and let himself rest a bit. From what he’d seen and heard from Reito, despite her being human, Sakura was a good sort for Kazuki. He could see how much his son had matured since meeting her, putting aside much of his self-important way of talking and starting to consider how his own actions affected others. There was no doubt in his mind of his son’s love for her, that she was his sudtama. Her loss would leave Kazuki deeply affected. But was the alternative worth the price, for Toramaru and for the kingdom?

Later in the evening, Hina’s parents called, asking her to come home to rest. After Kazuki swore to call if anything changed, Genji escorted her. It took Aki a bit longer to convince Akari to go home for the night. Both girls promised to return in the early afternoon, as soon as school let out.

The hall they waited in was quiet now, with little foot traffic about.

Not long after Sakura’s human friends left, the doctor came out again. The man looked as if he’d aged even during the time they’d been there. Toramaru didn’t need his other sense to tell him how much the man cared for his young patient; he’d seen it in how tirelessly he’d worked over her. Even now, he looked ready to fall over as he approached them.

“Dr. Tenma?” Kazuki looked up, his own worries lining his face.

“So far, she’s remaining stable.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, my boss has ordered me to go rest a little and eat dinner, so I’m going to my office for a bit. I have a futon there I can lie down on. The nurses will let me know if even the smallest thing changes, and if so, I’ll be right back here. Another doctor will also be keeping an eye on her until I return.”

“No, please, she would not want you to make yourself sick. You must take care of your own body too,” Kazuki said in a reassuring tone.

“Thank you.” He bowed. “Oh, I almost forgot, this was found in Sakura’s pocket. It’s addressed to you.”

The doctor handed Kazuki a pink envelope decorated with cherry blossoms. Kazuki returned the bow. “Thank you.”

Once the doctor left, Kazuki examined the envelope in his hand, looking both confused and scared. He glanced at Toramaru before turning it to the side and tearing off the end to retrieve the letter inside.

Kazuki,

If you’re reading this, then I’m probably already gone. When I woke up, it was with a certain feeling that I would die today. I don’t know why I feel this so strongly. Maybe I’m just in a fatalistic mood because of this cough, but something is screaming inside me that this is it, the end, and that I won’t even get to see you one last time. It was that thought, more than the rest, that made me want to write you this letter.

There are so many things going through my mind, things I want to say, but where to start? I wonder if you’re doing well. Are you making sure to eat properly and get plenty of sleep? I hope that right now you’re sitting with Yuji having a good long talk. I met him, you know, as he came to visit yesterday. It was nice getting to talk to him. You have a lot in common, yet you’re also so different. You’re bright and bold, like a rich coffee, while Yuji seemed warm and sweet, like hot chocolate. That seems like such a silly comparison now that I think about it.

Anyway, I hope you’ve apologized to each other for letting someone trick you like that. Before he left, Yuji asked when our wedding was because Karasu hadn’t told him the date. I was happy he planned to come. He even asked me my favorite colors so he could bring an appropriate gift. Yes, he is just as you said he was. I can see why you love him so much.

Kazuki, I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry. I told you I had until spring, and now here I am, dying months earlier than I was supposed to. When you left, I swore I’d be here when you got back, that it wouldn’t be like with Ito-san. I ended up lying to you. I’m sorry.

Please tell Karasu I’m sorry too, and make sure to give him a big hug for me. It was hard not to cry when he gave me the bottle of dohame he made just for me. I have it in my pocket even now. It’s comforting to have it with me. He’s such a good boy. I know he’ll be a wonderful young man when he grows up.

I also wanted to say thank you. Thank you for coming here, even if it was by accident. Thank you for staying with me and making me laugh again. Thank you for making me want to live, even when I knew I wouldn’t. Most of all, thank you for being you because having you in my life has made the last few months the happiest moments I can remember.

I know it will be many hundreds of years before you’re old and hopefully even more before you come to the afterlife. It seems like such a long time for me, time in which part of me hopes you’ll find another love and forget about me. That you’ll move on and be happy. If, though, you do still remember me when that time comes, I’ll be waiting for you under that big cherry tree, kind of like when we first met. When that day comes, you better tell me what that word means! You know, the one you kept calling me? It’s been driving me crazy wondering.

I love you, Kazuki, now and always.

Sakura

Kazuki cried unabashedly as he finished Sakura’s letter. He cried over her being alone as she sensed death approaching. He cried over her lying across the hall in that room, halfway there. He cried for Karasu, who’d even made her another dose of dohame before leaving her. Then he realized what she’d written and what it implied.

“The dohame,” he said aloud as he wiped his face. “I didn’t even realize before, when she showed us what happened. That must be how they were able to save her. She drank the dohame Karasu made her, and it kicked in after the attack.”

His father nodded. “That could be. Being a child still, his blood would not have a great deal of power, so it would take longer to work.”

Feeling antsy, Kazuki stood and walked over to the window, leaning his head against the glass as he looked at her. The light in the room had been dimmed for the night when the nurses left, a small courtesy in case she could somehow still see the brightness of the harsh overhead lights.

He could make another dose of dohame, to give himself a chance to talk to her one last time, to tell her how much he loved her. That was the original purpose of the potion anyway. But would that really be best for her? It would mask the pain, but she’d still be stuck in that bed with all the wires and machines hooked to her. It seemed kinder to let her sleep until the end.

“Kazuki.” His father joined him. “You said this girl is your sudtama. Are you certain of this?”

“Yes.”

“My son, there is something I should tell you, though it may make you angry with me. When your mother was ill—I could have saved her.”

“What do you mean?” Kazuki asked.

“There was a way I could have restored her health so that she would live out her normal, natural lifespan.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Your mother and I agreed, using the spell was too great a risk. It could have left you and Yuji without a father and the kingdom without a king. Do not think it was an easy choice to make, for it was not, but I know even now that we did the right thing.”

Kazuki gave a brief nod. As it hadn’t come up in the search of the archives, he knew it was not normal magic. It would make sense for a spell with that power to potentially claim the caster’s life.

“Were Sakura a yokai, I wouldn’t even tell you about this, as it would not be an option. However, as she is a human…”

“Let’s do it!” Kazuki grabbed his father by the shoulders, uncaring how desperate it made him look. “I want to save her! I don’t want to lose her. Please, father!” Kazuki wondered why his father would even act as if there were another option.

Toramaru shook his head. “Listen to me well. This spell, it cannot extend her life beyond that of any other human. It will heal all the illnesses and wounds currently on her body and make her more resistant to disease, but she will still age like others of her species. This spell will not act as some sort of immortality serum. She can still die early if she has an accident or is killed on purpose.”

“I understand.”

“Like all life magic, the spell has a price. The question for you, Kazuki, is, are you willing to pay that price? Are you willing to give up all of your magical abilities, your power, including your own longevity?”

All of his abilities? He’d never be able to go outside in the human world because he couldn’t glam himself? He’d lose his ability to use transport gems or activate the portals, in essence making it impossible to go home again unless someone came to fetch him. Without magic, he wouldn’t even be able to exchange letters with his family. And what sort of lifespan would he have if he no longer had his natural longevity? As these thoughts flooded his mind, his father asked him one more question.

“Are you willing to give all of these things up for her, even if you will both forget all that has happened, including your feelings for one another? Will you lose all that you are for a woman who will not know your name or what you have done for her?”

The thought rendered most of his other questions moot. Did it matter which world he was in if he would no longer know her, nor she him? Kazuki pictured a life having lost all that his father outlined, a life that would leave him as something neither human nor truly yokai. Then he thought of Sakura, healthy and smiling as she had been on the Day of Buckets. That image, that future, was worth any price to him.

“Yes. Even if it means that she will forget me and find a new love, I’ll be happy as long as she gets to live out her life. If there is a way to save her, please tell me what I must do.”

“Very well.” Toramaru looked to ensure no one was in the hall, then held his hand up to the glass. It glowed for several long seconds before he removed it. “We will need to return home, but that spell I cast is similar to the dohame and will keep her alive while we prepare. If you wish to say anything to her…”

Kazuki nodded then slipped inside the room. The machine monitoring her heart continued its slow steady beeping as he made his way to her side. Another hissed as it breathed for her. Her hand was almost cool as he held it, nothing like the vibrant warmth he was used to. He leaned down and kissed the small corner of her lips that was not blocked by tubes and tape.

“Sakura, the night you told me of how you came to be like this, I swore to myself that I would find a way to heal you. Finally, I can keep that promise, though it means I will not be able to see you again. I hate the thought of living without you beside me, but the thought of a world without you in it at all hurts even more. Once we cast this spell, you’ll be healthy again, able to live a full, rich life.” He bent over, touching his forehead to hers as he cupped her face with his hand. “The spell will take our memories away, yours of me and mine of you, but know this, you are now and always will be my sudtama, the one who holds half my heart and without whom I could never be whole. Goodbye, my love.”

He gave her a final kiss before rejoining his father. They found an empty stairwell of the hospital and transported back to their world. His father gave Reito a list of things he would need, and then led the way to his royal chambers.

There he had a special room where he could cast spells that required larger amounts of power or privacy. In holders around the room, various gems and minerals enhanced the ambient magical power, lending strength to his spells.

Reito slipped into the room carrying a large bag and secured the door behind him.

“A moment ago, I received word that Karasu has been found. It would appear Mumarch left him alive just outside of town where he was discovered and taken to the doctor. He has some broken bones, but should make a full recovery.”

Kazuki sighed in relief. “I’m so glad. Has Yuji been told?”

“I sent a messenger to retrieve him. According to the report, Mumarch used a low-level healing spell on him, stopping the bleeding. It likely aided in his surviving. After hearing your story of what happened, I looked through the records of Uragiri. The son he lost was not much younger than Karasu, so it may be that he couldn’t bring himself to harm a child of a similar age.”

Reito walked over to the long table that spanned one wall of the room. “Oh, the name from his diary, Safina. That was his mate. When the building collapsed in the mudslide, she was trapped under it. However, it did not kill her outright. He dug her upper body free, but it was clear the injuries were fatal. Rather than forcing her to endure a long slow death, he killed her by suffocating her.”

Now Kazuki understood the strange things Mumarch had written, and his actions with Sakura. The man’s tragic past had led him to his plot against Kazuki and his family, but it also had, in a strange way, kept him from completing it.

“Reito, when you see Karasu, please, tell him thank you for me. That even though I won’t remember by the time I see him, I am grateful to him for protecting Sakura, and proud of him. He has grown into a fine young man.”

“Yes, My Prince. I will let him know.” Reito began pulling some things from the bag. Kazuki recognized some of the items as common spell ingredients, including some minerals and plants known for their magical abilities, a kagorin egg and feathers, a lakmanine stone. The last items Reito put out were a picture, one of the ones of Sakura and Kazuki taken by Karasu during her bucket day, and the locket from Sakura’s room.

Toramaru moved over to the large stand in the middle of the room that held a thick book. Though his father had been gone over a year, there was no dust visible on the tome, rather it seemed to have the barest hint of a glow. He opened the book, softly turning the pages until he found what he was looking for.

He directed Kazuki to the middle of the room. “Now then, let us begin.”