DAVE stood on his deck wearing a good T-shirt, stubbies and thongs, and holding a pair of giant tongs.
‘I’ll throw a few shrimps and bangers on the barbie and you get the rabbit food ready,’ he said to Carol. ‘Can’t wait to taste that pav. Pity Rob couldn’t make it.’
Katharine helped Brett put the beer (which Rob had sent with his apologies) into the esky.
Carol joined Sofia and Bonnie at the cypress pine kitchen bench to prepare the salads. She spun the iceberg lettuce dry and placed it in a deep bowl.
‘Is Katharine going to meet Andrew to talk about her ideas and experience of adoption?’ Carol asked.
‘I don’t know,’ said Bonnie. ‘He’ll probably forget about his suggestion that they have coffee; you know how busy politicians are.’
‘Didn’t sound to me like he’ll forget,’ said Carol. ‘The focus group people have already phoned me and I’ll be part of their next discussion about arts initiatives.’
‘They’ve been in contact with Rob as well,’ added Sofia. ‘He’s so excited to be involved and went to Brisbane to talk to them. That’s why he couldn’t come tonight.’
Bonnie had brought dips and busied herself putting them in small bowls. Carol put two bowls on a plate with crackers, took them onto the deck and placed them on the outdoor table, which Dave had made from recycled timber. She could hear the sausages sizzling and smell the juicy aroma of the prawns. She gave Dave’s bottom a squeeze, winked at Brett and returned to the kitchen where Bonnie was opening wine.
‘Bonnie ... I think it’s high time you told your daughter the whole truth,’ Carol said. ‘You know the truth will come out eventually, don’t you?’
‘I’ve told you it’s none of your business.’ Bonnie rubbed an imaginary spot on the wine glass.
‘Now I know the facts, it’s become my business. You brought Katharine into our lives and I’ve already kept your secret for too long. Sitting through lunch with Andrew without saying anything was excruciating. Besides it’ll turn out for the worst if you keep lying to her.’
‘Lying to me about what? What haven’t you told me this time?’ asked Katharine, who had entered the kitchen to get lemonade to make a shandy, as instructed by Brett.
‘I’m not lying … not exactly.’ Bonnie poured a white wine for herself and Carol and a red wine for Sofia.
‘How can you say that?’ demanded Carol. ‘Look, if you don’t tell her, I will. This can’t go on any longer.’
‘For goodness’ sake, can you just tell me what you’re talking about,’ said Katharine.
‘It’s not that important. It’s …’ Bonnie’s voice trailed off and she took a gulp of her wine.
‘How can you tell her it’s not important? I swear, Bonnie. I’ll tell her.’
‘Carol, no,’ said Sofia. ‘It’s up to Bonnie.’
‘She’s had her chance.’
‘Carol, if you say one more word, I’ll …’ Bonnie raised her hand and Carol flinched, remembering the time Bonnie had slapped her across the face during an argument when they were teenagers.
‘Will someone tell me what’s going on?’ said Katharine, looking from one to the other. ‘I’m getting scared. You’re not sick are you, Bonnie?’
‘No, of course not. Carol, why can’t you mind your own business?’
‘It’s gone beyond that.’
Carol put down the knife she was using to slice cucumbers and wiped her hands on a tea towel. She took a deep breath and wished Bonnie would speak up. Bonnie folded her arms and glared at Carol.
‘Katharine, Bonnie knew Andrew Dumas better than Sofia and me.’
‘Carol. I don’t see how it’s your place to do this,’ said Sofia.
Carol heard Sofia’s reasoning voice, wanting to be safe, to sit on the fence. She wondered whether Sofia would say the same thing if the truth was withheld from her. Whether she would still think it was all right.
‘I don’t understand what you are trying to tell me,’ said Katharine. ‘Will someone please tell me what’s going on? Bonnie? Sofia? Carol?’
‘One last chance, Bonnie.’ Carol paused again and Bonnie hung her head. ‘All right, then. There’s no way to say this gently so I’ll just come out with it.’
‘No, Carol, don’t,’ said Sofia.
Carol looked from Sofia to Bonnie and shrugged her shoulders.
‘This is it,’ she said, and took Katharine’s hand. ‘Honey, I think it’s high time you knew about your father,’ she paused to give Bonnie one last chance. ‘He’s alive and it’s Andrew.’ Katharine looked perplexed. ‘Minister Andrew Dumas, our former art teacher. He’s your father.’
‘I don’t understand,’ Katharine’s voice trembled. ‘Bonnie, you said my father died and that’s why you had to have me adopted.’
‘Is everything all right in here?’ asked Brett.
He entered with a cold beer and made Katharine a shandy. Katharine’s hand shook when she took a sip and she spilt some down the front of her top. Carol wet a tea towel to wipe off the liquid. She shooed Brett away.
‘Dad says to shake a leg as the food’s almost ready.’ Brett grabbed a tray from the cupboard and went back to the veranda.
‘Tell me this is a joke,’ Katharine said, turning to Bonnie, who played with the stem of her wine glass. ‘You mean you lied to me?’
‘It’s not that simple. He … he was already engaged to someone else. She was pregnant too and he married her.’
‘What? I can’t get my head around this.’ Katharine went in the lounge room to get a tissue from her bag. The others followed her. ‘So, let me get this straight. When you told him you were pregnant, he decided he preferred this other woman and her child to you.’
‘Well, not exactly.’ Bonnie emptied her glass of wine and placed it on the coffee table.
‘How not exactly? For fuck’s sake, Bonnie, this is worse than pulling teeth. Just tell me the fucking truth.’
Bonnie moved towards Katharine and reached out to touch her arm. ‘I was going to tell him, but the timing was wrong.’
‘Wait, so he doesn’t know I’m his daughter?’ Katharine pulled her arm away and placed her hands on her hips. ‘How could you lie to him as well as to me?’
‘Honey, I was trying to protect you.’
‘Protect me. I don’t need protecting, I need the fucking truth.’ Katharine pushed Bonnie aside and paced the room. ‘I can’t believe you lied. The only person I thought was being honest with me.’
Carol was shocked at the change in Katharine, who up until then was patient and serene, even when the dancing group were complaining.
‘Katharine, please calm down, and please don’t swear in my house,’ she said.
‘Be calm? Don’t swear? You don’t get it, do you?’ seethed Katharine. ‘My whole life has been a lie. The one person I thought was finally telling me the truth has lied to me. I just don’t know who I am anymore. And I don’t know who any of you are either.’
‘Katharine, sit down, have something to eat,’ said Sofia. ‘It’ll be all right, you’ll see.’
‘No, it won’t. Nothing will ever be right again.’ Katharine grabbed her bag. ‘I can’t cope with any more of this crap. I have to get out of here.’
Brett stopped at the doorway with a tray full of charcoaled sausages and prawns. Carol tried to get Katharine to stay, but she was adamant that she didn’t want to be near any of them. Brett took the food into the kitchen and offered to drive Katharine home. He threw some cooked sausages and prawns in a container and followed her out the door.
‘See what you’ve done?’ shouted Bonnie. ‘You interfering bitch.’
‘Don’t you dare blame me,’ yelled Carol. ‘You should have told her the truth from the beginning.’
Katharine’s response had shaken Carol. Perhaps she should have pushed Bonnie harder, held back longer. But no, she was sure she had done the right thing and it would turn out all right in the end. Her mother used to say you have to break eggs to make an omelette.
‘Calm down, both of you,’ said Sofia. ‘Hopefully she’ll be all right once she gets over the shock. Can’t you see, Bonnie, that she thought you were the only one who was honest with her?’
‘And you have the bloody audacity to talk to me about honesty,’ replied Bonnie. ‘You wouldn’t know the truth if it hit you in the face.’
‘What are you talking about?’ said Sofia.
‘Will you get your head out of the sand for once? You can’t tell me you didn’t notice Rob’s frequent visits to Brisbane and the lipstick on the dirty glasses when we stayed at your apartment in Brisbane.’
‘Pardon?’
‘It’s as plain as the nose on your face. Sofia, you lie to yourself all the time, even about Rob.’
‘What about Rob?’
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake,’ Bonnie glared at Carol and Sofia. ‘It’s bloody obvious. Rob’s having an affair. There, now you can’t pretend anymore.’
‘I don’t believe you. Carol, you don’t believe Bonnie, do you?’
Carol heard her heart thumping. The evening was not what she had planned – a simple barbeque with friends. Bonnie telling Katharine the truth and then a reconciliation. All happy. Instead, she was being accused of wrecking things, of telling the truth to be mean. She knew that wasn’t true. But she pondered whether there was a difference between honesty and truth, and whether you could have one without the other. And now she was being asked about Sofia and Rob.
‘I don’t think so,’ she said.
‘What do you mean you don’t think so?’ asked Sofia.
Dave came into the house to find out what all the fuss was about.
‘Dave,’ said Sofia, ‘do you know anything about this? About Rob having an affair?’
‘I heard some rumours. But don’t you girls drag me into your drama.’
‘Why not, you’re not as pure as you act,’ said Bonnie.
‘What on earth do you mean by that?’ asked Carol.
‘Didn’t Mr Golden Boy tell you about him and me?’
Carol felt the throbbing in her heart move up to her neck and shoulders. Now Bonnie was making ridiculous allegations against everyone. She knew Bonnie was outspoken, but this was vindictive. And yet, she had a hunch.
‘What are you talking about, Bonnie?’ she asked.
‘Hasn’t your precious Dave told you that we had sex before you and he got together?’
‘Bonnie, that’s not fair. It was only once,’ said Dave.
Carol placed her hand on her leg to stop it from shaking.
‘Bonnie, I told you to leave Dave alone,’ said Sofia. ‘You knew Carol was interested in him.’
Carol remembered the night she’d gone home earlier than Bonnie. She’d had painful period cramps and wanted to curl up in bed with a hot water bottle. The next morning, she woke to hear Bonnie and Sofia arguing. It was so unusual to hear Sofia’s voice raised that Carol had jumped out of bed. Their explanation had left Carol wondering if there was something else, but she’d pushed it from her mind.
‘Anyway, I don’t believe you,’ Carol turned to Dave, desperate to get his assurance. ‘He would’ve told me.’
‘I didn’t say anything because it didn’t mean anything.’
‘That’s because Miss Goody Two Shoes came along all doe-eyed and stole you from me. You ruined my life, Carol.’
‘Don’t be so dramatic,’ said Carol. ‘You ruined your own bleeding life.’
‘So, the truth is out at last. You think I ruined my life. Some friend you are.’
Carol’s hands sweated and she wiped them on her bare leg.
‘I’ve had enough of this,’ said Dave. ‘I’m going to the garage to eat before dinner is totally ruined. You three should have some food and sort this out yourselves.’
‘Typical. Just run away to your man cave,’ said Bonnie.
‘Before I go, let me just say one thing,’ said Dave. He cleared his throat and spoke as if each word had to be dredged up. ‘You three have been friends for a long time and you can’t let this argument ruin your friendship. You need each other.’
‘It’s not as easy as that.’ Bonnie grabbed the bottle and poured herself another glass of wine. ‘Carol’s so-called truth has turned my only daughter against me and now I’ve lost everything.’
‘Grow up and take some responsibility,’ said Carol. ‘I didn’t turn your daughter against you. You did that by yourself. Anyway, I do think she’ll come around. But you have to tell Andrew.’
‘You’re joking,’ said Bonnie. ‘It amazes me how you continue to think that the truth is the best. Can’t you see the harm it’s already done?’
‘Surely even you realise by now that the truth always comes out and the longer it takes, the worse it is,’ said Carol.
‘And what gives you the right to be the gatekeeper of the truth?’ said Bonnie.
‘Come on, I think we need to take a breath and have something to eat.’ Sofia plated up some food for each of them. She poured each a glass of water and set the food and drink on the dining table.
‘Bonnie. Perhaps Andrew does have a right to know that he has a daughter,’ said Sofia when they were seated.
‘And you keep out of it, Miss Head in the Sand.’ Bonnie swallowed the rest of her wine. ‘Just look at how your neat house of cards is built on lies.’
‘I’ve had enough.’ Sofia put her cutlery on the table. ‘You’ve just accused my husband of having an affair and now you’re attacking me. How am I supposed to feel?’
‘So, you really didn’t know?’ asked Bonnie. ‘I thought you were covering it up.’
‘I still don’t know. You always assume things, Bonnie, but you don’t like it when other people tell you the truth. And as for you, Carol,’ Sofia paused. ‘You rush in and take the high moral ground without ever stopping to check if other people have the same view as you or to consider the consequences for them.’
‘Sofia!’ Carol couldn’t recall a time when she and Sofia had argued and leaned over to hug her.
‘Don’t you dare touch me. I’ve had enough of the both of you.’ Sofia seized her bag and stomped to the door.
‘Sofia, stop. You’re in no condition to drive home. Please have some food and stay the night,’ said Carol. ‘I’ve made up the beds in the spare room. How about I make a cuppa and we go to bed.’
‘A cup of tea. You think a bloody cup of tea will fix this.’ Bonnie followed Sofia out the door. ‘And don’t you dare say things will look better in the morning.’
When Dave returned from the garage, Carol was sitting alone at the table with an empty bottle of wine. Flies buzzed over the plates of untouched food.
The next morning Carol cleared away the leftover food, glasses and bottles in a fog. Brett came into the kitchen while she was preparing breakfast for Dave, who was already in the garage.
‘Mum, what have you done?’
‘Me? Why do you assume that I’ve done anything?’
‘Because you can’t help meddling in other people’s lives and then you’re surprised at the fallout,’ he said. ‘And now Katharine’s booked a flight back to the States.’
Brett took a piece of toast and headed for the door.
Carol sat down and turned Brett’s words over and over in her mind. She wasn’t a meddler. Or was she? And what would the Tap Cats do without Katharine?
Dave entered to get his morning coffee. He had flakes of sawdust in his hair and on his eyelashes and grinned at Carol when he saw her. How did she not know about Bonnie and Dave? Her mother used to say there are none so deaf as those who will not hear. What else had she missed?
‘Don’t you look at me like there’s nothing wrong,’ said Carol. ‘How can I trust you anymore?’
‘What do you mean? Oh, the Bonnie thing. It wasn’t important.’
‘Not important! And what other not important things haven’t you told me? Well?’
‘I can’t remember. Maybe just a few little things. Love, it’s not a big deal.’
‘Not a big deal?’ Carol felt like she was on a Ferris wheel and had eaten too much pink fairy floss. She drank half a glass of water. ‘You haven’t been honest with me when I thought our whole life together was based on honesty. Now I find out it’s a pack of lies. Just as Katharine’s life has been a pack of lies. It’d serve you right if I went to New York too.’
‘For goodness’ sake. If you want to go to New York, go,’ said Dave.
‘That’s not what I said and you know it.’
‘I don’t know anything anymore.’