‘COME on, ladies, let’s do it again, and this time give it everything you’ve got,’ called Valerie at the Tap Cats’ second rehearsal that week. ‘We only have four weeks to go.’
No matter how hard she tried, Carol couldn’t reignite the spark she’d felt at the regional competition. She knew the steps. She heard the rhythm in her head when she went to sleep each night, but when she was in the class the two didn’t come together. Carol struggled through the rest of the class. She was grateful that Bonnie had come, but it wasn’t the same as dancing with Sofia beside her. There was an edge to Bonnie’s dancing, and she didn’t return Carol’s smile like Sofia had done.
‘Carol, do you know when Sofia is coming back?’ Valerie asked after the class.
‘She’s staying for the commemoration service, which is in two weeks,’ replied Carol, ‘so she expects to be back in time for the finals.’
‘That’s cutting it very fine. Just as well we have Bonnie to help us,’ said Valerie. ‘Bonnie, you’re a real natural, you know.’
Carol sat in the plastic chair next to Bonnie, who was removing her tap shoes. She noticed that Bonnie had a small blister forming at the back of her heel. Carol searched in her bag for a Band-Aid, which she always carried a supply of, and offered one. Bonnie took it from her wordlessly.
‘Come on Miss Teacher’s Pet, lighten up,’ said Carol.
‘You still think this is a game, don’t you, and that everything’s all right now?’
‘Well, isn’t it?’ asked Carol. Most of the other women had already left the hall and Valerie was packing away the sound equipment.
‘We can’t just kiss and make up,’ said Bonnie. ‘You totally stepped over the boundary this time, and I don’t know if I want to forgive you.’
‘Of course, you do,’ said Carol, sounding more confident than she felt. ‘I can tell that you’re enjoying the tap dancing.’
‘I’m pleasantly surprised at what a good teacher Valerie is,’ said Bonnie. ‘But that has nothing to do with us. I can’t wait until Sofia gets home so that I can stop.’
‘But you’re a natural.’ Carol exaggerated Valerie’s pronunciation. Bonnie didn’t smile.
Carol followed Bonnie out of the hall and along the road to the Boatshed Cafe. She remembered the times she’d walked the same path with Sofia, the easy conversations they used to have and how they knew what the other was thinking. Now she had no idea what was going on in Sofia’s head. Rob had been to Carol’s place for dinner the night before. He told them how upset Sofia was at the funeral and kept going on about how much of a mistake he made, that he’d never hurt her again.
‘Rob asked me to tell Sofia that he truly loves her,’ Carol said.
‘Yeah, and I’m sure you believe him. As usual I suppose you feel that it’s your job to tell Sofia what he said.’
‘Ouch, you know where to hit a girl where it hurts.’ Carol held her stomach in mock pain. Bonnie ignored her and kept walking. ‘Hey, wait up. Do you know something? Come on, tell me if you do.’
‘It’s a hunch, but I would bet anything that there’s more to the story than he’s letting on,’ said Bonnie. ‘Men like Rob can’t help themselves. I should know. I’ve been caught up in those kinds of relationships so many times I can pick them a mile off.’
‘Don’t tell me he tried it on with you.’
‘Everyone tries it on with me,’ said Bonnie, sounding bitter. ‘But he’ll never let Sofia go. He needs her too much. To him, she’s the good Greek wife, a possession who must be kept forever. And she’s so accommodating. I reckon she should bolt now while she has the excuse.’
When they reached the cafe, Carol ordered coffee for them both and sat in a vacant chair next to Bonnie at the far end of the table of women. She tried to keep the conversation going, to keep Bonnie talking to her, determined to catch whatever glimmer of hope remained in their fractured friendship.
‘So, you obviously don’t think I should tell her that Rob loves her and is sorry?’ Carol whispered.
‘Absolutely not. He’s just using you. Let him suffer. She has.’
‘She doesn’t sound as if she’s suffering. They’ve finished sorting through her grandmother’s things and she’s now touring around the island on her own.’
‘I’m glad someone’s having fun,’ said Bonnie. ‘Wish I could go and join her.’
CRASH!
Carol stood up and saw Maude sprawled out on the floor beside an upturned chair, groaning. It only took a few seconds for Carol to take charge. She ordered everyone to keep calm and called an ambulance.
Maude tried to get up.
‘Maude, stay still and speak to me,’ said Carol. ‘What hurts?’
‘It hurts all over,’ sobbed Maude. ‘My leg. My ankle.’
The paramedics arrived, put Maude on a trolley and wheeled her into the back of the ambulance. Carol called George and clambered into the ambulance with Maude.
Grandad and I joined Carol in the waiting room at the local hospital. I’d never seen Grandad so worried or disorganised and had to help him put some things together for Grandma. When we were allowed into her room, Grandma was really upset and kept going over what happened and saying how silly she was.
The other members of the troupe arrived soon after and were allowed into her room a few at a time. Grandma repeated the story to each group.
‘I was at the cafe, just having a nice cup of tea after tap class. I stood up to go to the toilet, but my foot was numb and I fell over, chair and all. The doctor said that the only damage I have done is to twist my ankle. I’m so lucky.’ She wiped a tear from her cheek. ‘Only thing is, the doctor says I won’t be able to dance in the finals.’ After Rob and her father left, Sofia tried to shelter in the flat downstairs alone, but her mother would have none of it.
‘Stop mooching around,’ said Mrs Patras. ‘Your yiayia is gone. It’s time to help your aunt and me sort through her things.’
Agathe had promised her engagement ring to Sofia when she was born. It was gold filigree with three hand-cut diamonds. They divided the rest of her jewellery among the female members of the family and prepared her clothes to donate to the church.
They cleaned the house and argued over cooking utensils. Each piece conjured up a story about Yiayia. ‘She loved this knife. Remember the time we tried to get her to use a new knife, what trouble we were in.’ ‘Remember the time when she had a little too much ouzo and told dirty jokes?’ ‘Your papou bought her this fry pan when they went to Athens that time. Remember, she couldn’t wait to get back home.’
‘Mum, why did you say I was stubborn like Yiayia?’ Sofia asked.
‘Because you always do just what you want to do.’
‘That’s not true. When have I ever done just what I want to do?’
‘Plenty of times. You went on at school and then teachers college when your father wanted you to help him with his business.’
‘But I won scholarships to go.’
‘And when you got married, you insisted that Bonnie and Carol be bridesmaids, even though they weren’t Greek Orthodox.’
‘But they are my best friends.’
‘With you, there’s always a but. And then you moved away from us up the coast just when we needed you to be around. And now you’ve made me a laughing stock in my own family with your tap dancing.’
Sofia twirled the filigree ring on her finger and watched the light catch the surfaces of the diamonds and bounce onto the walls. She couldn’t believe her mother was still going on about the tap dancing. She could almost hear her yiayia telling her to be happy and see her laughing when Sofia showed her some of the tap steps.
‘Mum, I love tap dancing and I won’t give it up. I’ve sacrificed so much for Rob.’
‘Sacrifice? Is that what you call it? You always dress things up so it seems you do these things for us. What do they call it? Honey coating. But it’s what you want to do.’
‘Mum, that’s not fair.’
‘Fair? What has fair got to do with it? If life was fair would we be standing here sorting through all this, this stuff?’
Sofia took one of Yiayia’s embroidered handkerchiefs and wiped the tears from her mother’s cheek. They hugged and finished packing away the items that had been claimed.
Sofia made coffee and they joined Theo Sotiri in the courtyard. Several of Sofia’s other relatives were there and they were having an argument in loud and fast Greek about whether to sell the house.
‘What use is an old house here now?’ ‘It could be redeveloped into a small hotel and would be worth a lot of money.’ ‘We don’t have the money to redevelop it, so we should sell.’ ‘It is the wrong time of year to sell. We should wait until spring.’ Sofia’s mother wanted to sell the house. Sofia wished they would keep it but didn’t say anything.
Sofia drove around the island visiting places she had been to with her grandparents. At Fiscardo, one of the few villages that had not been affected by the great Kefalonia earthquake of 1953, she sat in a cafe and watched sailing boats leaving the port. When she looked across the waters to Ithaca, she remembered the story of the man who flew too close to the sun and crashed to earth. She pictured her seemingly perfect world broken in pieces around her feet.
She drove to Mount Ainos, the highest point on the island, which was a favourite of Papou’s. He loved to take photos of the rare fir trees and the views over the island with his old box camera. Sofia could hear his words in the wind, telling her to stay with her husband, to be a good wife. ‘The old ways are the best,’ he used to say.
Sofia stood on the peak of Mount Ainos, heard a tapping and looked down at the fir trees. A dead branch knocked against a trunk. She listened and felt a rush of energy as the branch tapped an ancient melody. Her foot moved, itching to follow the beat and she stepped onto a rocky outcrop.
There was no one to see her, to judge her. She had nothing more to lose. She did a stamp, giving into the urge to do a triple time step on the rock. Sofia hopped. The branch tap-tapped and Sofia re-counted her losses with the beats. She shuffled.
She’d lost her beloved Yiayia.
She flapped.
She’d lost trust in her husband.
She did a ball change.
She’d lost her will to be the peacemaker between her dearest friends, Carol and Bonnie, and speculated whether their friendship would survive the argument they’d had and the secrets they’d revealed.
Sofia felt the pain in her heart move to her feet and sat on the pile of rocks, stretching and wriggling her toes to ease the spasm. As the pain dissipated, she thought about the competition Carol had talked them into entering nine months before. She no longer feared the public performances. Looking across the mountains and out to the sea she realised she no longer feared the abyss of her broken marriage.
At the beautiful cove called Myrto, Sofia walked on the white sand under the cliffs and paddled in the turquoise water. She swam in her underclothes and when she emerged, she lay on her skirt, looking at the clear sky, the azure water and the white sand.
‘If this is happiness, then, yes, Yiayia, at this moment I am happy,’ she said. ‘And if I am stubborn, then so be it.’
As she searched the horizon wondering what her future would be, she saw rays of sunshine span down from a cloud on to the sea.
On her return to the downstairs flat, Sofia pulled the video of the tap routine out of her suitcase and played it. As she danced, her mind focused on the steps and the movement of her body took over. Her legs and feet were relaxed and she listened to the sound of the taps. While concentrating, all her thoughts and worries dissolved and Sofia became immersed in the dance.
The video finished and she heard giggling. Sofia turned around and saw a head duck down from the window. One of the children had discovered her and raced away to tell the rest of the family. After that, her relatives insisted Sofia play the video and demonstrate the dance despite her mother’s protestations.
‘Tap dancing is from the Greeks you know,’ said Theo Sotiri.
‘Theo, the Greeks didn’t invent everything,’ said Sofia. ‘Katharine, my friend’s daughter, says it came from African American and Irish dancing.’
‘Well, how come famous Greek tap dancers invented the step you were doing?’ said her uncle.
‘Famous? Who?’
‘The Condos Brothers. Steve, Nick and Frank. They danced with many stars and in films. Steve Condos is even in the International Tap Dance Hall of Fame.’
Theo Sotiri explained that his wife’s cousin lived in New York and had sent videos of the Condos Brothers. He played them for Sofia, and the event became a family gathering. The children clamoured for Sofia to teach them some tap steps.
When Carol called with news that Maude had injured herself, Sofia was still considering whether to delay her return until the future of her yiayia’s house was decided. She felt she needed more time to work out what she was going to do.
‘Rob came around the other night,’ said Carol. ‘He asked me to tell you how much he loves you.’
‘I have to work out what to do about Rob, but I also need to work out who I am and how to live the rest of my life,’ said Sofia. ‘I know that sounds self-indulgent and corny. I’ve been jolted out of a comfortable daze and now I have this great opportunity to face my future.’
‘You’re probably still grieving for your yiayia, and with Rob on top of that, it’s no wonder you’re off centre.’
‘It’s not only that, I’m seeing myself for the first time.’
‘I know how that is,’ said Carol. ‘But can’t you do that here? We really need you.’
‘I’m sure you can get along without me for a while.’
‘But there’s the concert. Maude can’t dance and without you we won’t have a chance. And … Bonnie’s still angry with me. You could bring us all together again. You’re so good at seeing things from all sides.’
‘Me? After what Bonnie and you said to me, do you think I even want to bring us together?’ Sofia saw the pitfalls in looking at things from different perspectives. There were so many sides to consider that she couldn’t move.
Mrs Patras insisted that Sofia accompany her home saying she couldn’t possibly travel alone. Sofia’s aunts urged her to go with her mother. They said she could come back and help them get the place ready for next year’s tourists or for sale.
Rob met Sofia and her mother at the airport with two bunches of their favourite roses. Pink for Mrs Patras and red for Sofia. Sofia manoeuvred the trolley full of bags past him.
‘Here, let me take that,’ Rob insisted. ‘Your father is waiting at home for you. He’s fine but still tired.’
They dropped Sofia’s mother at her home, told her father the latest family gossip and left as soon as they could. Rob suggested they stay the night in Brisbane, but Sofia couldn’t face seeing the unit. They drove to the Sunshine Coast in silence.
‘I’m tired,’ Sofia said when they got home. ‘I’m going to have a nap.’ She went into the guestroom. ‘I’ll sleep here for now.’
‘There’s no need for that, my darling,’ said Rob. ‘You take the main bedroom. I know how much you love that room.’