Molly
No One is Who They Seem
Molly shivered uncontrollably. Every limb shook with fear and pain. Hunched up on her bed, she lay still, hardly thinking, hardly functioning. The last beating had nearly finished her. She just wanted to die.
The sound of the bedroom door opening had no effect. No one could hurt her any more than she already was hurting.
‘Molly?’
Shocked at whose voice it was, Molly wanted to turn and spit in Delilah’s face.
‘Molly, I’m sorry, I . . .’
Through squinting, swollen eyes, Molly saw Delilah slump down on the bed opposite. ‘You’re vile, Delilah, vile.’ The words would hardly form, but Molly put as much venom into them as she could.
‘I shouldn’t have done it. I know that. I was only trying to make me own life a bit better. But they beat me, too. And the others, as I gave away that we were all out on Christmas Day, when we’d been locked in.’
‘Christ, Delilah, why? You’d never have gained from it. And from what I can see, you’ve had more than a beating.’
‘The others set about me, after Gus had finished with me. I want out, Molly.’
‘Don’t look at me.’
‘Please, Molly. I know I ain’t to be trusted, as I’ve done bad things, but I know stuff about this place. There’s a back way out. And I have money, an’ all.’
This all sounded incredible to Molly. Delilah couldn’t be trusted in a month of Sundays. Turning away from her caused pain, but she managed it.
‘Think about it, Molly. Two together have a better chance than one. I can’t undo all the bad I’ve done, but I can make amends, if yer’ll let me.’
Molly didn’t answer. If she could, she’d get up and punch Delilah, but instead she curled into a ball and closed her eyes. Flo came into her mind. Somehow hope had been planted in her since she’d met Flo. She hoped with all her heart that Flo had survived the terrible air raid of Sunday night. London hadn’t experienced anything like it before.
A plan began to form. She’d get better, then she’d leave and try to find Flo. She’d find that ARP first, as it sounded from what Flo was saying that his wife also worked for the Sallies. Maybe she knew how to contact Flo and that bloke. Though he wasn’t all that friendly. Trixie’s fault, for she’d put his back up when she spoke a bit hard to Flo. Funny bloke. He looked like a nancy boy, and yet he seemed more than fond of Flo.
These thoughts led to thinking of David. Would she ever see him again? If she did, would he want her? Her hand brushed away the tear this provoked – she’d cried all she could and it got her nowhere. She had to keep a level head and think about her escape.
‘That Trixie were asking after you. She threatened to kill me if anything happened to you, but I told her I was sorry and wanted to help.’
Molly remained silent.
‘She believed me when I said I wanted to help yer.’
‘Why should she believe you? Everyone hates you, Del. No one trusts you.’
‘I can prove it. She said to tell you she has left the coat yer wanted with Dolly, in case yer make a move and she ain’t around. But if yer do, then contact her as soon as yer know yer safe.’
‘What, Trixie said all that to you! You’re a liar. You’ve found out something and you’re testing to see if it’s true. Well, it ain’t. I know nothing about any coat.’
‘Trixie and me used to be mates.’
What crap is this? Trixie would have said, if she’d known Delilah before. She hates the girl. Trixie would never lie. Not to me, would she?
‘Look, it was a long time ago. We were at school together, only she didn’t remember me. Me name was Martha Gardner. When I told her, she said there was always sommat familiar about me. She was shocked, but understood how I’m like I am. She didn’t blame me. She said that she wished you’d be a bit more like me.’
Molly couldn’t take this all in. Something in her felt sorry for Delilah, but she knew she could never be like her. ‘No, thanks. I wouldn’t shop any of the girls in here, even though none of them give me the time of day.’
‘Gus kidnapped me as well, yer know.’
Martha Gardner? Of course, I remember when she went missing. It was all in the papers. It was Gus who took her? My God! Molly turned painfully round to stare at Delilah; she hadn’t guessed anything like this. Delilah always gave the impression that she was there because she wanted the life. She watched a tear trickle down Delilah’s face. Pity entered her, but she cautioned herself, still unsure whether to trust her.
‘It was a long time ago, before he hooked up with Eva. Gus murdered me dad and raped me mum, over and over. I was only twelve. He took me as a punishment to me mum, though I don’t know what he was punishing her for. He made me into his own personal slave. He took me so low that I could no longer think for meself. When me mum died, he laughed as he told me, and used it as another reason that I couldn’t leave, as I had nowhere to go; and no one who would keep up the pressure to look for me, like my mum had. I still don’t know how me mum died, and wonder if Gus murdered her, too. Me name’s still on the missing list. Gus set me to spy on the girls they have here. It’s the only way I can please him. I’ve been under threat of death. And I know he would do it, as what I’ve told him over the years has led to some girls being found in the Thames.’
The tear turned to a deluge.
‘I’m sorry for what happened to you, Delilah, but I’m still struggling to understand how you did what you did, knowing it would cause the death of someone you worked here with. I could be next. All of this could be a ploy that you’ve cooked up to get me to trust you, and then you run to Gus and I’m a goner.’
‘No! I promise. I’ve had enough. I have too much on me conscience. When they started to beat you, and the other girls got a punishment for leaving on Christmas Day, I felt sick to the stomach. I think they are planning on you being next, and I can’t take another killing. When the first one happened I nearly took me own life. I swallowed some pills, but I vomited them up. It was then that I realized I didn’t want to die. I wanted some sort of a life. The more I told Gus, the better me life became. But I kept it to snippets – nothing I thought would lead to another death. The second one died because she was going to go to the police. I thought she’d just be punished, but they used her as an example. You’ve taken one punishment, because of me finding your stash, and though it was bad, they didn’t kill you because Gus likes to have you himself sometimes. But now you’ve helped one of us to escape, I’m really scared. I want to help you to get away, but I have to go with you or I’ll die, I know it. Please, Molly.’
‘You’re scum, Del – scum. You don’t deserve to live. But if I’m to get out without you blabbing, then I can see that I have to take you with me. We won’t stay together. I couldn’t have you along with me. I’ll talk to Trixie, and we’ll get you out and help you to get away, but you’ll be on your own.’
‘Thanks, Molly. I just need help to make that break. I’ve always been too scared to do it, and wouldn’t know what to do. I might appear worldly, but I know nothing other than a few years with me mum and dad, and then being under Gus’s control. I never saw the light of day for years. Try to understand, Molly.’
‘I’m trying. And maybe, when I’m free, I’ll be ready to forgive you. But me life is in danger because of you. And for what reason, eh? Just so that you could make yourself look good in the eyes of that bastard, Gus.’
Delilah wiped her eyes, then said she was sorry once more and left the room. Molly’s stomach clenched. Is she really genuine, or has she gone to Gus right now, to tell about me planning to get out? Oh God!
Getting off the bed caused Molly excruciating pain, but she managed it. Feeling her ribs tenderly, she felt sure they were broken, for a sharp pain stabbed her as she gasped in air. She’d hoped to recover for a few days, but now she had to leave – and leave now!
The door opened and Delilah sidled back in. ‘Here, if you won’t take me with you willingly, then I’m not coming, but I want you to have this.’
Molly stared at the wad of notes. ‘You mean it? Really mean it? Will you help me to get out that back way you spoke of?’
‘Yes, I will. Eva, Gus and Lofty are out. If you can make it now, I’ll help you, but where will you go?’
‘I’m not telling you that, Delilah. But I will take you with me. I’ll get Trixie to help you get away, using the same route as Ruby did, but we’ll not tell you about it, just in case. I still can’t trust you. You will just have to follow our directions. I’ll have to make a phone call. But this has to be the end of it. Once you’re free, you’re to go to the police and tell them everything. But you have to wait until Trixie lets you know that I’m safe, otherwise they’ll intensify their search for me. I intend joining the ATS. They can’t get hold of me then, as I’ll be protected. But as soon as you’re given the word I’m in the ATS, you have to smash this evil gang. I can’t do it, as I still have someone I . . . well, that I’m attached to and need to protect.’
Delilah’s eyes leaked tears, but she wiped them away. ‘Your dad?’
Molly was shocked. ‘How did you know about him?’
‘I know a lot, Molly. I didn’t just tell, I listened. But thanks. Thanks, Molly. I promise you, I’ll go to the police once we’re both safe. Will you be able to contact me to let me know you’re all right? I won’t do anything till then, as your life could still be in danger.’
‘I will. Now tell me about this back door.’
‘There’s some stairs behind the door that’s marked “Private” and is always locked. I have a key to that, and to the door at the bottom of the stairs that leads into an enclosed yard. I stole them once and had a set cut. There’s three, so I think the third one will fit the gate to the yard, but if it doesn’t, then there’s some crates stacked in the yard. It’ll be a matter of climbing onto them to get over the wall, but there’s a five-foot drop on the other side. I don’t know if you’ll make that.’
Molly couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘So why haven’t you left before, then?’
‘Where would I go? I need you and Trixie to help me, but she won’t help me unless I help you.’
‘Ah, so we have the truth of it now. You’re only doing this to save your own skin.’
‘It’s a good enough reason, and one you’ll believe, so what’s the odds?’
Molly acknowledged that Delilah had a point, as it was a reason she could understand and trust. This made her feel better about it all. She eased herself down onto the edge of the bed and thought about everything for a moment. Getting Delilah away shouldn’t be much of a problem, for they’d already proved that the route to her Aunt Bet, and then on to Scotland, worked, or at least it seemed that way. She only hoped that Ruby had contacted Trixie by now, so that she would know for sure. There was just herself to consider. In her present condition she wouldn’t get far. She needed the help of someone to hide her for a few days. Flo came to mind. Molly felt certain Flo would do anything to help her. She hadn’t spoken to her much, but there was something about her. A caring nature and courage. But what if she couldn’t find Flo?
Admitting she might have to do this by herself was frightening, but she couldn’t let the fear take root. She’d have to hide out on her own until she was well. There were plenty of boarded-up places. Yes, most were condemned, but that would suit her, as no one would go near them. Warmth and food might be a problem, though. For a moment Molly felt despair drag her down, but she dismissed it. She had to do this, and she had to do it now. She would lie to Trixie and say she was going to the ARP’s wife. Well, it wouldn’t really be a lie, as she would do that once she was better. She’d ask Dolly to pack her some food up – enough to last a couple of days, just in case.
‘What’re yer thinking about, Molly?’
‘More than I can cope with at the moment. Look, initially we’re going to need each other. I want you to find something to strap me up with, so that I can walk. Then help me to dress. I need to put several layers on. And I need a blanket.’
‘None of that’s a problem. We can rip the sheet to strap you up and take the—’
‘If that’s the way you think, then we have a big problem. How’s it going to look, if one of the girls comes in and finds the bed wrecked, eh? Where are the others, anyway?’
‘Out. Despite what happened last time they went out without Eva knowing, they’ve done it again. They didn’t say where.’
‘They wouldn’t, would they? They know what you’re like. I’m surprised they’ve even taken the chance of you knowing what they’ve done.’
‘They said they would kill me if I told, and they meant it. That Elsie scares me. She held a knife to me throat as she threatened me. They seemed satisfied that I was telling the truth, when I promised I wouldn’t breathe a word.’
‘Good. So the coast is clear. Get a sheet and blanket from the store cupboard. And hurry.’
Stepping outside gave Molly the full impact of the dreadful night of the 29th. Utter and complete destruction met her. Blackened buildings teetered, bricks and debris lined the road and the path. The smell of smouldering fires choked her. Placing her handkerchief over her nose and mouth, she lowered her head and, with the help of Delilah, set off for Dolly’s cafe.
Trixie stood outside Dolly’s. She waved to Molly in what seemed like an excited, hurry-up kind of way. Molly thought she’d never be able to hurry again. When she reached her, Trixie burst out, ‘I’ve heard from Ruby. She’s in Scotland, and all settled. Having the bleedin’ time of her life she is, mate.’
The words drained Molly. It was all she’d been waiting to hear, and now that she had, it was as if her last strength left her.
‘Here, have they been at you again, girl? You look a mess. Let’s get yer inside.’
‘Ooh, don’t hold me there, Trixie, I think me ribs are broken.’
As if she was experiencing it for the first time, the smell that had become familiar to her – sweaty bodies and cheap perfume, mingled with the cooking of low-cost cuts of meat and fried stale bread – turned her stomach.
‘Sit down, lav, you look at the end of your tether.’
‘I am, but you’ve cheered me. Good old Ruby. I’m so glad she’s safe.’
Dolly brought two steaming mugs of tea over, and put one in front of Molly and one in front of Trixie. ‘Here, get this down yer. Yer look awful, Molly. Has some bleeder clocked yer one, then?’ Without waiting for an answer Dolly turned to Delilah. ‘You can fetch yer own bleedin’ tea, and pay for it.’
Delilah didn’t protest, but got up and went to the counter. Dolly didn’t follow her. ‘She can bleedin’ wait. What happened, girl?’
‘I bumped into a wall, Dolly.’
Dolly turned away, the remark she made said more in jest than showing she was offended. ‘Yeah, pull the other one – it’s got bleedin’ bells on it. But I get the idea, and I’ll say no more.’
Molly caught hold of Dolly’s apron and stopped her progress. ‘You know how it is, Dolly. The less you know, the better. Now, do me a favour and keep Delilah away from us for a while. I’ve things to talk to Trixie about.’
Dolly huffed.
‘Don’t mind her. Let’s talk.’
‘There’s a lot I have to say. But, Trixie, I’m so pleased about Ruby. If I could, I’d jump for joy and scream out to the world that one of us has broken free, I would.’
‘I know. I feel the same. So, what about Del? That was a turn-up for the books, weren’t it? Fancy her turning out to be Martha Gardner, eh?’
‘And you believe her, Trixie? Really believe her? Cos you know what she’s like.’
‘I do. I knew there was something about her, but could never put me finger on it. It’s her all right. Me and her were best mates at school. That’s when we turned up at school, of course.’ Trixie’s cackling laughter sounded good. Molly felt a sudden pang about leaving. She was going to miss Trixie.
When Trixie sobered, she asked Molly, ‘What about you, eh? Are yer going or not, Molly?’
‘I am, Trixie, and right now. I got me money, and a few more quid that Delilah has lent me. But you know she wants to go an’ all?’
‘Yes. And I think it’s a good thing. Are yer willing to help her, like we did Ruby? I’ve already spoken to me mate in Scotland and she said she’ll take one more, but that’s it.’
‘I was going to call me Aunt Bet, but I’ve thought better of it. Del will have to make her own way. She’s got plenty of money. She’ll have to stay in a bed-and-breakfast. I daren’t take the chance. As it is, I’m afraid for me aunt. Eva mentioned her when she questioned me over Ruby, but I would only admit to helping Ruby get a taxi. With them not being sure, I don’t think they’ll try to find me aunt; but with me gone, they might. I’m not letting Delilah know anything about her, just in case.’
‘Does Eva know Bet’s in Birmingham?’
‘I think so, but it’s a big city, and travelling there ain’t easy, so I’m hoping they won’t pursue their search for any of us there. Eva and the others can’t afford the time, anyway. And if Del keeps her word, then they’ll be banged up before they can plan revenge for later on. I just have to take a chance on that.’
‘Are you going there, Molly?’
‘No.’ She told Trixie of her own plans.
‘Well, I can just see you in uniform, girl. Good luck to yer, and I hope yer find Flo. She were a good sort. Not sure about the ARP’s missus that yer on about. If she was one of them we came across, she’ll be a sour-faced bitch just doing what she has to. Not the angel her husband told yer she was.’
Trixie got up then and assured Molly that she’d do her part. She was to fetch the coat from the back of the cafe, organize the food from Dolly and contact her mate to bring his taxi round to the back, to take Molly and Delilah.
As she sat alone, Molly’s nerves kicked in and her body began to shake. How would it all pan out? What would it be like sleeping rough? David came to her mind and she daydreamed about him. I’ll go to his house first. If he’s there, he’ll help me. She dared not even hope this would be true, but at least it gave her something to cling to. Then another thought occurred and she sent up a silent prayer: Please let me find Flo.
Somehow she knew that if she did, everything would be all right. Why she felt this, after only a few minutes with Flo, she didn’t know. But just thinking about Flo’s lovely smiling, concerned face gave her more hope than even thinking of trying to find David did.
Huddled in the taxi some forty minutes later, Molly asked the driver to take them to the station. On the way, her heart bled at the sight of the raging fires engulfing her beloved London. It seemed that it was almost razed to the ground, with more buildings in a state of collapse than standing. People milled around looking lost, where once they had been in a familiar place. Firemen still battled to douse the flames, and a newsboard proclaimed that fifteen of them had been killed, many trying to save St Paul’s Cathedral. Alongside it was a picture of St Paul’s dome standing out amidst the black smoke and flames. The headline, which was almost obscured, read: ‘Churchill orders: Save St Paul’s at all costs.’ But at what cost?
Molly said goodbye to Delilah when they dropped her off at the station. Her voice held no emotion as she wished her good luck. Part of her still hated the woman and was untouched by her moving story. Yes, Delilah had been wronged, but what she’d caused had far outweighed that. Molly thought of the many beatings Ruby had endured, and of her own beating – and all because Delilah had wanted to save her own skin and ingratiate herself with the vile Gus. Her body shuddered at the appalling thought of the two murdered girls, and Delilah saying she was to blame. She didn’t deserve any sympathy, but Molly didn’t wish her harm, either; she just wanted her out of her life.
‘Where to now, love?’
‘Poland Street. Thanks.’ If he reported back to Trixie, then Trixie would know it was near there that she’d met the ARP and that he lived nearby. The last thing she wanted was to raise Trixie’s suspicions. She’d do anything to have her by her side, but this was something she had to do alone. As the taxi swung round, something that had been on Molly’s mind caused her to change the instructions. ‘Wait a minute. Before that, will you take me to Park Lane – it runs down the side of Pymmes Park in Edmonton? I know it’s about nine miles away, but I’ll pay you.’
‘It’ll be more than that, in this lot. Half the bleedin’ roads are blocked. I’ll have to make a few detours.’
‘That’s all right. I might drop off to sleep, but will you wake me when you’re approaching Edmonton? Thanks.’
Snuggling down, Molly tried to quieten the butterflies in her stomach, but she couldn’t deny the hope dancing around her body. It took a while for her to get into a position that gave her the least pain, but eventually she did and drifted off to sleep, dreaming of David.
The dream turned to a nightmare when Randy, the cab driver, woke her. Edmonton as she knew it had gone. She looked out at her town – because that’s what those who lived there looked on it as: a town within the borough of London – to see it all broken. Hitler had all but destroyed it. Molly’s heart pounded a plea around her mind: Please let David’s house be standing. She thought the same of her own house and hoped that her dad, for all he’d done to her, was safe, but she dared not take a detour to Sebastopol Road to check.
Church Street and the shoe shop were mostly intact. As they passed by she read ‘Phyllis’s Shoes’ on the sign that had once said ‘Gould’s’. This gave her a good feeling. Good for you, Phyllis.
Directing Randy away from the side of the park where dear Hettie had lost her life, Molly clenched her fists tightly together. She could hardly breathe. As the street came into full view, she gasped with the pain that tore through her. David’s house lay in ruins. ‘Oh God, no!’
‘You all right, lav?’
‘Stop a moment, Randy.’ Molly knew that tears were soaking her face. They fell without her bidding. Her body was crying, but her heart was encased in stone.
‘Can I do sommat for yer, lav?’
‘Yes. Would you go to that house to the left of the ruined one and ask if they know where David Gould is, please?’
Randy didn’t protest. Molly stared after him and watched the woman who answered shake her head. She felt her heart plummet and heard a cry escape from her own lips. No, no – please . . . no!
Getting back in the car and slamming the door before speaking, Randy turned towards her. His face told the story. ‘Sorry, lav. David Gould is missing in action, presumed dead.’
Molly crumbled.
‘Don’t take it like that, lav – there’s always hope, with the missing. That old girl said that he was hit over Italy. He could be in a prisoner-of-war camp. They get treated all right in them, they have to be – it’s the rules of war. The old girl said she only knows about it because a telegram lad came next door, and the maid took the message. It was the maid that told the old girl what had happened. I asked where the maid was, and she said she’d sailed to America just after that, to be with the Gould family.’
Molly could only stare through tear-filled eyes.
‘Look, lav, why don’t you let me take you to the hospital? You’re injured, and now with this shock.’
‘No. I’ll be all right. Just take me to Poland Street. Thanks.’
How she wished she could go to hospital. They’d tend to her, make her comfortable and give her a fresh bed to lie in, but they’d also want to know who she was and where she came from.
As darkness fell, the siren wailed. Molly curled up as best she could, wrapped in her blanket in the cellar of a bombed-out house. It was so close to the one she had been thrown out of on Christmas Eve that she worried, when she found out, that she would be seen by the man and he’d remember that she’d stolen a present from under his tree. But the house was the only one where she could access the inside and make her way to the cellar.
Cold seeped into her bones, but it couldn’t touch the heart of her. That was wrapped in grief. Now she was alone and in darkness, her mind had fully taken in what she’d discovered. Missing, presumed dead . . . Missing, presumed dead. No. Nooo!