It did get worse when they found out that I’d spent the night at Jake’s house. I hadn’t told them, but they must have spoken to Jake again and got it from him. It was lunchtime when a car arrived at the house and me and Mum were driven back to the station.
‘You broke into the house and stayed in his room?’
‘I didn’t break in. He was scared of being alone.’
‘So you were looking after him? Making him feel better?’
‘Yes, I was. He wanted me to stay with him.’
‘That’s not what he told us. He told us that you turned up one night at the back door and you pushed yourself in.’
I shook my head. It wasn’t like that.
‘Did you force your way in?’
‘I didn’t push myself in. He let me in.’
‘He told us that he was scared of you, that you wouldn’t leave him alone.’
I didn’t know whether to believe them or not. I wished I could talk to Jake. I didn’t think he’d been scared.
‘Ask him about the storm. Ask him about the night of the storm. There was thunder and lightning and he was terrified and I stayed with him. I helped him fall back asleep.’
‘How many times did you go to the house at night?’
‘Twice.’
‘Twice?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why do you not see how inappropriate that is? To turn up like that and spend the night with an eight-year-old boy.’
‘But his mum wasn’t there. She left him all the time.’
He stopped going at me for a second then and said,
‘It wasn’t your place to act on it. Not in this way. You should have told someone.’
‘I was just trying to look after him. Trying to make him feel better.’
‘Were you taking advantage of the fact that he was left alone?’
I shook my head.
‘I was trying to make him happy.’
The detective looked at me. He didn’t seem to know what he was looking at.
‘How did you try and make him happy?’
‘With the books, and looking after him when he was alone, and he loved the house, and sometimes we played outside.’
‘And that made him happy?’
‘Sometimes, I think.’
‘Did you ever do anything else to make him happy?’
‘I bought him cans and chocolates. Sweets. Played with him, read him stories.’
‘Not like that Donald.’
He stared at me and I tried to stare back but I couldn’t keep it up.
‘No. I didn’t do anything else to make him happy.’
He looked at me and I felt as guilty as if I’d touched Jake all over.