Beck gripped a fresh mug of coffee, wishing for something stronger. It was almost five o’clock here in Vegas, and he was on vacation. He should be relaxing, damn it. Instead, he was fixated on Heavenly. What was she doing right now? He hoped like fuck she wasn’t naked and spreading her legs for Seth while he rutted on top of her. Would he come back from Christmas break and find out that Heavenly was no longer quite so innocent? If that happened, he’d have no one to blame but himself. He had chosen to keep his distance. Yes, for her own good, but now he was paying a steep price for tucking away his inner Dom and being a gentleman.
Jesus, maybe he should find some booze…
Beck stood, paced. Cursed. If Seth fucked and ran, he’d help Heavenly pick up the pieces—after he buried the bastard’s body.
If Seth hadn’t yet touched her… Well, Beck was already wondering how much longer he could resist temptation when he craved her so desperately.
Faint footsteps padding across the hardwood floors jerked him around to face Gloria. She stood in the doorway, looking sleepy and disheveled, her short red hair spiked in every direction. She squinted against the setting sun spilling through her west-facing windows. She had faint lines around her eyes that hadn’t been there a few years ago, but she didn’t look anywhere near fourteen years his senior. Then again, she never had. Gloria paid the best plastic surgeons to stay young. In her line of work, it was imperative. And she was a beautiful force to be reckoned with.
“What time did you pull in? Why didn’t you wake me when you got here?” Gloria asked in a husky tone.
Beck ate up the distance between them in two strides and wrapped his arms around the tiny dynamo. “About two hours ago.”
“It’s really good to see you.” With a contented sigh, she brushed her lips across his cheek, then headed straight for the coffeepot. “I fucking hate mornings.”
Thank god Gloria was still as saucy as ever.
He laughed. “The sun is about to set.”
“Well, it’s morning for me.”
“Which is why I didn’t wake you when I let myself in. I figured you’d be working tonight. Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”
“Merry Christmas back, you big, handsome stud. I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me, too.” He pulled her close again and lowered his chin to the top of her head, inhaling her familiar scent. She felt like comfort and home, and he drank in the much-needed peace. “Grab a chair and I’ll pour you a cup of coffee.”
“Spoiling me already?”
“You spoiled me for years,” he pointed out with an arched brow as he filled her mug with steaming brew and handed it to her.
As he sat across the table from her, she took a sip and moaned. The caffeine hit her system, and she pinned him with a dissecting stare. “So what’s going on in LA.? Out with it.”
“Oh, the usual… Bloody arteries all day and bloody asses all night.”
“Any bloody ass in particular caught your eye recently?”
He had no idea how to explain a grown-ass sadist falling for a virgin. “Yes…and no. It’s complicated.”
She took another drink from her mug. “Obviously. Or you would have talked to me when whoever she is started getting under your skin a few weeks back.”
Of course Gloria knew. She’d always been able to read him.
As Beck tried to figure out what to say, he was interrupted by a knock at the door. Gloria turned to the sound of keys jingling and hinges squeaking.
“You up, baby?” a man called out.
“In the kitchen.” Gloria’s eyes lit up as she stood.
When Beck had met the man in her life last Christmas, he’d known immediately she might actually fall for this one.
Buddy entered the kitchen, and she wrapped her arms around the fifty-something guy in jeans whose hair sported more salt than pepper. His beard matched. Gloria had always preferred men suave and flashy. Funny that she’d finally lost her heart to a quiet, modest plumber. But they fit together perfectly.
An almost teenage delight crossed her face before he kissed her lovingly. Beck found himself envying their closeness.
Buddy lifted his head, arm still wrapped around Gloria. “Hey, Ken. How are you?”
“Good, man.” Beck stood and extended his hand. “So you’re still dating my wife?”
“Yep. Hope you’re all right with that.”
“If you make Gloria happy, then hell yes.”
“Which reminds me, Kenneth…” Gloria mocked, making Beck grimace. She only called him that when she was busting his balls. “Our eighteenth wedding anniversary was last month and what did I get? No flowers, no card. Not even a phone call. And never mind sex. You haven’t fucked my brains out in years.”
He rolled his eyes. “If you want to start celebrating now, I’ll go pick some dandelions from the front yard while you bend over the kitchen table. That sound romantic?”
She snorted. “No wonder you’ve been unattached for so long.”
“Eighteen years?” Buddy sounded awed. “That’s longer than either of my marriages lasted.”
“Because you kept marrying the wrong kind of whore, sugar.” Gloria winked. “Sit down. Want some coffee?”
“As much as I’d like to stay, I can’t.” Buddy frowned. “A pipe at one of the restaurants inside Caesars burst. I just came by to tell you to have a good night at work. Be careful, baby.”
“Always am.” Gloria hugged him tight and gave him another lingering kiss.
With a crooked grin, Beck refilled his mug, damn glad to see Gloria happy. She’d had a hard life on the streets and on her back. She’d definitely earned some joy.
Suddenly, Buddy’s phone rang, and he broke the kiss. “Gotta go. I love you.”
“Love you, too. Call me later.”
With a nod, he was gone. Gloria was still glowing when she sat at the table again.
Beck reached across the surface and wrapped his hand around hers. “He’s a good man.”
“Almost as good as you.”
“You deserve happiness with a man who loves you to the moon and back. Why don’t you marry him? For real.” Beck sat back. “You and I never had a normal marriage, and you don’t need a ‘husband’ to keep you safe from overzealous customers anymore.”
“I don’t,” she admitted. “I haven’t turned a trick in years. It’s nice being the madam. Saves some wear and tear on my pussy, too.”
“Gee, thanks for sharing that tidbit.”
“You know me…” She shrugged. “I appreciate the security blanket having a ‘husband’ gave me.”
“But you don’t need it anymore.” The security had once benefitted him, too, but their union had long ago served its purpose. They’d certainly never been in love, but neither had found any reason to pursue a divorce…until now. “I can have my lawyer draw up the papers. Just say the word.”
“Are you ready?”
“I’ll be fine.”
Gloria studied him. “Tell me about this woman who’s distracting you.”
Beck would rather not confess everything like some sappy, lovesick teen, but no one knew him better.
He blew out a breath. “Her name is Heavenly.”
“Sweet scene name.”
“She’s not from the club. Hell, she doesn’t even know it exists, much less that I’m a member. Heavenly is her real name. I met her at work.”
Gloria’s brow took on a disapproving arch. “Work?”
“I know you taught me never shit where I eat, but she…” He groped for the words. “Well, she’s a volunteer and… Fuck!”
“She’s got you by the balls?”
“I wish she’d put her hands on my balls,” he grumbled. “But I haven’t even kissed her.”
Coffee caught in Gloria’s throat, and she nearly choked. “Excuse me?”
“Want to hear the even-more-shocking part? Since I met her, I’ve tried to take a couple of subs to my room, but…” He shook his head. “I’m not interested in anyone else.”
That took Gloria aback. “You’re serious?”
“Yeah. I’m not acting like myself. At all. I feel stupidly off balance.”
“The last few times we talked, I knew something was up. What are you going to do?”
“Nothing.” Beck tossed his hands in the air. “What do I know about vanilla dating?”
“Your knowledge would probably fit in a thimble,” she acknowledged. “When did you meet her?”
“Almost a month ago.”
Gloria gaped at him, slack-jawed. “Holy shit, Ken. You haven’t gone a month without sex since you were sixteen.”
“Nope. But Heavenly is a virgin. You know how I feel about that.”
“Yeah.” Gloria scowled. “How old is this girl, anyway? Thirteen?”
“Ha! No. That’s the gap between our ages.”
She tsked. “Honey, that’s basically the same gap in our ages.”
“You and I are different.”
She laughed so hard she cackled. “Is that what you’re telling yourself?”
Beck glared. “Why don’t you ask me the obvious question? I know you’re dying to. C’mon… How the hell does a pervert fall for an innocent young thing?”
“You’re not a pervert. Well, not the criminal kind.”
“Thanks,” he returned tartly. “If Heavenly knew the truth, she’d probably think I was.”
“Did you ever think I was?”
He’d been sixteen and homeless when she’d taken him off the streets and given him a new life. “Hell no.”
“So why wouldn’t Heavenly count her lucky stars that she’d found a protector and a provider? And be grateful for your big heart?” It was her turn to squeeze his hand. “The look on your face says you don’t think so.”
“We have nothing in common, except a passion for medicine.”
“Yes, you do.” She gave him a knowing smile. “You simply haven’t figured out what yet. Tell me about her.”
“She’s sweet. Sassy. Shy.” He sighed. “Submissive.”
A big smile spread across her face. “She sounds perfect.”
“I doubt she’s ever heard of an erotic spanking, so how is she going to react when I whip out the single-tail?”
“Please… That kind of progress takes time. You suddenly lack patience?”
When it came to Heavenly, yes. He wanted all of her—her body, her soul, her submission—right now. And for the first time in a long time, he couldn’t simply take what he wanted.
“Even if I gave her a hundred years, I’m not sure she’d get there.”
Gloria frowned at him, and he could hear her now. You’re not giving yourself enough credit. You’re quitting before you’ve even started. He needed to make her understand. And if a picture was worth a thousand words, this one ought to do it.
Gut tensing, he pulled out his phone and scrolled through his pictures until he found the one of Heavenly he’d secretly snapped at lunch while pretending to read a text. Sun from the skylights lit her hair, illuminating it like a halo. She really did look like an angelic little girl. At a glance, heat flooded his veins. His pulse kicked up. His cock stirred.
“Here.” He flashed Gloria the photo he stared at every night while punishing his dick.
“Oh, my god.” She shot him a look of pity—as she repressed a grin. “She’s incredible. You really are screwed.”
“Glad you’re finding humor in this.”
“I’m laughing with you.”
“Do you see a fucking smile on my face?” He tossed the phone aside. Stood. Paced. “I have no control over how I feel and I hate it. What the hell is wrong with me?”
Understanding softened her eyes. “I think you’re falling in love.”
His stomach took a rolling plunge to his toes. “That’s not possible. It isn’t logical.”
“The heart never is.”
He plopped into his chair. “Shit.”
“Heavenly looks very fuckable. And if she’s stealing into your heart, she must be a good person. Why should any of that be a problem? Forget the age thing.” She waved his protest away. “I doubt she’s given it two thoughts.”
He let out a harsh breath. “She’s hung up on Seth.”
“Who the hell is Seth?”
“A friend of Liam’s who’s visiting from New York. He takes her on fucking picnics and sticks his nose up her ass like a damn dog. She’s too trusting to realize he’s a player looking to put another notch in his bedpost. She deserves more. Knowing he might be, even now, sweet-talking her out of her panties—and into her heart—is fucking crushing me.”
“Then why are you here? Get back to LA.”
“I always spend Christmas with you. I just wish that asswipe would go back to New York—and fucking stay there. God, what if I come home and he’s used her? Hurt her?” He gnashed his teeth. “I swear I will cut off his dick, throw him in a fucking ditch, and let him bleed out.”
“So much for your Hippocratic oath…” She was laughing at him.
“Some assholes don’t deserve to live.”
“That’s true enough. So what happens if he pops Heavenly’s cherry over the holidays? Would that change how you feel about her?”
Was Gloria really asking if he liked her for her hymen? “No.”
Though he’d be jealous as hell.
“This is fascinating, you know. She really has you unhinged.”
“She does,” he admitted. “And I don’t know why. The moment I looked at her, she did something to me. I’d write it off as simple lust, but every minute I’m with her, my feelings grow.”
“So let me get this straight… You’re worried Seth will seduce the woman you’re falling for but you’ve refused to touch since you’re a ‘pervert?’” Gloria shook her head like he was a dumbass. “Stop playing head games with yourself!”
“What would I do with a twenty-two-year-old virgin? Knit?” He threw his hands in the air. “I can see it now, me sitting beside Heavenly as we make scarves for people in…fucking Siberia. While she’s swatching colors and showing me the perfect stitch, I’ll be harder than hell and dreaming about tying her up in yarn, then sliding my fat cock somewhere—anywhere—inside her. Sounds like buckets of fun, doesn’t it?”
Gloria burst out laughing. “Oh, my god. You should hear yourself.”
“Shut up. I’m vomiting up my emotions here. I don’t know what to do.”
“Is she attracted to you, too?”
“Yeah. She flirts. She asked if I was single. I catch her looking at me like she’s thinking something hot enough to make her blush. But Friday after her shift ended, we talked about school and the holiday…and Seth. Then the motherfucking prick pulled up, and she kissed me on the cheek like some dirty uncle. Then she bopped out to his car and blew me off with a smile, while he saluted me with one finger.”
“Poor baby.” Gloria tilted her head—never a good sign. That meant she was about to dig deeper. “What’s she supposed to think? This guy is pursuing her, and you’ve never given her any indication how you feel.”
Beck rubbed at the back of his neck. “Maybe you’ve got a point. But I’m a hardcore sadist. I doubt Heavenly dreamed her Prince Charming would get hard by spanking her ass red. She needs a patient lover with a tender, compassionate touch, not…me.”
“Oh, Ken. You can be tender and compassionate. It might have been a while since you’ve done the vanilla thing, but—”
“Try fifteen years.”
“It’s probably like riding a bicycle.”
“I’m not sure I’d even enjoy the bicycle anymore.”
“You, not like sex?” She scoffed.
“You’re missing the point. I’m seriously asking myself if I could give up kink for her and stay sane.”
Gloria squeezed his hand. “When we met, you were an angry man in a teenager’s body, needing a way to process everything, and there’s nothing more emotionally cleansing than sex. You helping subs purge their pain helped you to purge your own. But you’re not that kid anymore.”
Not only had Gloria saved him from life on the streets, she’d changed him from a boy to a man with patience and dignity. After sex, she’d refused to allow him to retreat behind walls of shame or pointless guilt. Instead, she’d merely lain beside him, warm and naked, and coaxed him to talk about his feelings. When she’d realized he craved control during sex, she’d introduced him to a Dominant who’d taught him what to do with submissives and pain sluts. Then nature had taken its course.
The woman understood him, always had. From her, he’d learned about closeness and trust. Never once had she let him wallow in uncertainty or self-defeat. Instead, she’d constantly assured him that nothing could hold him back but himself. Ultimately, she’d helped him mesh a new life with a new identity so he could become the man he was today.
Could that man possibly make Heavenly happy?
“I know you help masochists back in LA,” Gloria went on. “But do you need to? More than you need her?”
Fuck. “Thanks for not asking the hard questions.”
“You don’t come to me for easy. I pointed you down a sadist’s path to help you then, but I’ve always suspected that someday you’d take a different one. Maybe that day is here. Did you think you’d need that outlet forever?”
“Um…yeah.” It was ingrained in his habits, his psyche, his cock. “How do I make the sadist in me stop wielding a paddle or a whip? That’s like the surgeon in me cutting off my hand.”
She sent him a quelling stare. “Being a surgeon is a calling. Being a sadist is a choice.”
“Oh, then I’ll just find my local twelve-step program and quit beating asses cold turkey. No problem.”
“I didn’t say it would be easy or happen overnight. If Heavenly becomes your priority, your needs will probably change. And you never know, she might meet you halfway.”
Beck scoffed. “Do I need to show you her picture again?”
“How do you know she won’t surprise you? I did. The first time you saw me, you saw a hooker working a street corner. Did you think then I’d become your parental figure, lover, and wife-of-convenience?”
She had him there.
“When are you supposed to see her again?” Gloria asked.
“Next Monday.”
“That gives you a little over a week to figure out whether you’re going to remain just her friend…or be her everything.”
“I would love to be her everything. I just don’t know…” If he was the man for her. If Heavenly could accept him—flaws, kinks, and cravings. If he could fulfill her.
“Oh, honey. I understand. Your ghosts are haunting you. But it’s time to move forward.”
He froze. “Ghosts?”
“Come on. You’re too self-aware to play dumb. Heavenly sounds an awful lot like Blessing.”
The moment her memory whispered through his brain, Beck broke out in a sweat. The air thickened, choking him with regret.
He tried hard never to allow that.
“No. Heavenly is self-sufficient and determined. And so damn proud. She’s broke but chose to starve rather than ask for my fucking help. She pushes back…but now I buy her lunch every day. Trust me, she’s the last woman who’d ever let a man run her life. She’s not Blessing.”
“Okay, calm down. Just…if you decide to pursue Heavenly, make sure it’s not because you’re trying to atone.”
He fell deadly cold. “I can never atone.”
She tangled her fingers in his. “Ken, you have to forgive yourself someday.”
He jerked away.
“Try. Please.” Gloria sighed. “For me.”
Beck didn’t want to dig through the rubble of his past, pick open his years-old scars, and bleed. What would it change? But she never asked him for anything, goddamn it. And he respected her too much to refuse.
“Fine.”
“You know, if you want to talk, I’m always here for you.” She stood and dropped a hand on his shoulder. “And now I’ve got to get gorgeous for work.”
He watched as she hurried out of the kitchen. As she disappeared, he strode to the refrigerator and studied its contents. While Gloria showered and readied for work, he prepared pork fried rice, steamed vegetables, and a fresh fruit salad. Usually, he found cooking therapeutic, but tonight there was no joy as he sliced, diced, and stirred. His mind raced.
What was he going to do about Heavenly?
When dinner and small talk ended, Beck cleaned the kitchen. By the time he dried the last dish, he felt as if he’d engaged in a mental masturbation marathon. Worse, he was no closer to an answer. God, his friends would laugh their asses off if they had any clue how utterly an innocent blue-eyed blonde had long ago annihilated Shadows’ big, bad sadist. And how close a second one was to doing it again.
He slammed the dishwasher shut, then yanked his phone from his pocket, staring at his photo of the crux of his discontent.
If you decide to pursue Heavenly, make sure it’s not because you’re trying to atone.
Beck shoved his phone back in his pocket with a disgruntled curse. Fuck, was he subconsciously trying to repeat history so he could rewrite it? That couldn’t be his fascination with Heavenly…right? These feelings he couldn’t fight must be a sign she was something more.
“I’m ready,” Gloria called. “I’ll be back about nine tomorrow. Try to keep the overnight party to a dull roar. My neighbors think I’m respectable.”
He did his best to smile, but his head was too crowded. The walls were closing in. He had to get out of here and think. “Why don’t you let me drop you off?”
“You don’t have to, honey. I don’t work downtown or the slums anymore. I’m renting a bank of posh new condos with lovely views of the Strip. Each of the girls has her own apartment. It’s all very discreet and upscale. I have an office down the hall, along with security…”
“I want to drive around, catch up a little. My car is low on gas, and I’d rather take yours.”
Gloria shrugged. “Here are my keys. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t enjoy.”
Beck took the ring and headed to the garage, Gloria in tow. After climbing behind the wheel, he fired up her new Cadillac and left the subdivision in silence. Sagely, she didn’t speak and add to the noise in his head.
He’d dropped her off in a matter of minutes with a promise to return for her after sunrise. She waved him off after a compassionate brush of her lips on his cheek. “You’ll figure this thing with Heavenly out. You’re too smart not to.”
Right now, Beck wasn’t sure that was true.
Once she’d disappeared into the swanky building, he steered toward the highway. He fought the urge to rush home to Heavenly. Instead, he zipped in the opposite direction, up the ramp to Interstate 15, heading north toward the desert. There were no people or chatter out here. He could think.
Turning on both the heat and the stereo, Beck sped down the long, flat highway, not even sure where he was going. Was he running from his future…or facing his past?
As he sailed through the tiny town of Mesquite and zoomed over the border into Arizona, Beck had his answer. Past it was.
What could he possibly hope to find in the shithole he’d abandoned long ago? Closure? Forgiveness?
Answers.
Gloria was right. If he ever wanted more out of his relationships than pain and meaningless sex—if he wanted to figure out if he had any future with Heavenly—he had to come to terms with the nightmare he’d left behind.
Ninety minutes later, the mountain peaks reached toward the stars. Dread gnawed at him. But he’d come this far; he wasn’t stopping now. So Beck stomped on the gas pedal. It didn’t take long before familiar signs lured him off the interstate and onto another highway. His gut clenched as he traveled the last long minutes to hell.
Finally, he slowed, pulling into the all-too-familiar gas station and cutting the engine. The place looked older.
He stepped from the car. It was colder here, the air thinner, the wind more brutal.
Quickly, he pulled out his wallet and slid his credit card into the slot. He’d rather not be here, but after a couple of hours on the road, Gloria’s tank was empty, and this was the only game in town. He didn’t have a choice.
Didn’t that sum up his entire childhood?
As he stood pumping gas, he gritted his teeth against the wind and stared inside the run-down convenience store. Déjà vu slammed his system. He’d been here a hundred fucking times, holding his mother’s hand and eyeing candy he hadn’t been allowed to buy. Was the woman even alive anymore? Did she ever think of him?
He shoved those questions back, along with the memories. But more rushed in to take their place, snippets of the past he’d buried under rage, resentment, and regret. And all of it had culminated in this one place…
His gaze slid to the side of the building, where his old life had ended and his new one had begun. The image of that damn rusted green pickup parked just outside the restrooms, along with the body slumped in the driver’s seat, flashed through his brain. The jagged slice along the man’s throat had gushed, splashing his pristine white shirt. Beck swore he could still smell the bitter copper scent filling the cab as blood dripped to the floorboard.
He jerked back to the present to find sweat sliding down his face. Hands shaking, he focused on the gas pump, reminding himself that was a lifetime ago. But he couldn’t seem to snap himself back to the present. One memory—the only one he cherished from his years here—lay waiting like a mental landmine. It had the power to blow his mind.
Easing down to the dirt behind the barn, he lifted his chin toward the sky. The summer sun warmed his skin while the scents of hay and horses melding with the dry desert filled his lungs. Usually, he found serenity in this secret place, but today anticipation buzzed under his skin.
Peering around the corner, he watched the house across the road and waited. Several nerve-racking minutes passed before he saw the girl lugging a basket of laundry toward the clothesline.
Rising slowly, he drank in the sight of her budding feminine curves. A thick blond braid lay draped over her shoulder, caressing one breast.
Mentally counting to ten, he made sure the coast was clear before sprinting her way. He darted between two hanging white sheets billowing in the wind and skidded to a stop. “Psst. Blessing! Hide in here with me.”
As he stuck his hand through the opening between the edges where the fabric met, she cast him a worried frown. “Are you sure it’s safe?”
“It will be like our own private fort. C’mon.”
Long seconds passed. He feared she’d chickened out, but then she sidestepped between the rustling sheets. A goofy smile stretched across his face. Until he stared his way up her body. Then his blood chugged fast and hard.
Their stares locked. Her lips parted in the silence. She was so close…
He swallowed. “See? It’s private in here.”
She darted a furtive glance over her shoulder. “I can’t stay. I shouldn’t even be talking to you. If they look out the window and find me…”
“Whatever time we have together is a blessing, Blessing.”
They both softly smiled at his stumbling words.
Then he couldn’t stand not touching her anymore and pulled her into his arms. As she gazed up at him, trust brimmed in her blue eyes. Their smiles faded, replaced by rough breaths.
“I think about you,” he confessed as he stroked a finger down her soft, milky-white cheek. “A lot.”
“Same for me.”
Her words sent a rush of heat far warmer than the sun sizzling beneath his skin.
“I have to know,” he whispered.
“What?”
“How your lips taste.”
“W-we can’t,” she gasped. “I-it’s a—”
“Shh,” he soothed. “No one will ever know.”
She stared up at him, fear filling her eyes.
Dang it. He hadn’t meant to scare her. “If you don’t want me to, I won’t.”
Blessing hesitated. “I-I want to. It’s just…”
“You’re afraid?”
“Yeah.”
“I won’t let anyone hurt you,” he promised.
Before he lost his nerve, he cupped the back of her neck with shaking fingers and slanted his mouth over hers. Blessing’s warm, soft lips made his whole body tingle and his cock stretch to life. Pressing his mouth to hers more firmly, he cinched a hand in her hair. Her tiny moan tickled his lips. He couldn’t believe that, for this forbidden moment, she was his.
Guided by some innate instinct, he slid his tongue over the seam of her lips. When she opened for him, he plunged inside her warm, slick mouth. Blessing welcomed him, acting on the same primal impulse. Then—
Beck aborted the memory with an ugly curse. He had to get the fuck out of this place.
Clenching his jaw, he slammed the nozzle into the pump and jumped back in Gloria’s gray Caddy. With trembling hands, he fastened his seat belt, started the engine, and floored it, wishing he could outrun the memories.
Pointing the car back toward Vegas, he dragged in ragged breaths. Thankfully, the anger and guilt eased with each mile. Then snippets of his conversation with Gloria began pinging through his brain.
Though Heavenly and Blessing were both young, innocent, and shy, the parallels ended there. While Blessing had been rooted in place, Heavenly had mustered the courage to leave behind everything familiar and chart her own future. She soldiered on every day to further her ambitions because she wanted more from life. Blessing had done only what she was told. Heavenly warily questioned people and situations. Blessing had merely accepted authority with a placid smile. Under Heavenly’s quiet disposition, she was smart, brave, intriguing, steadfast, and dedicated—everything Blessing had been too timid to be.
Now that he’d settled Gloria’s nagging question, Beck slammed the door on his past.
No denying the need to protect Heavenly burned inside him. It had nothing to do with the failures of his youth and everything to do with the unshakable feeling that she needed him. That sheltering her was his privilege and his right.
God help her, he was going to break all his own rules, even the one he’d held most sacred. Virgin or not, she was going to belong to him. Hell, in his mind…she already did. There was just one problem… How did he convince Heavenly that she was his?
“Stop behaving like her ‘professional daddy’ and tell her you want to be more than her friend, dipshit,” he grumbled out loud.
If he didn’t, he was going to lose out. Seth was running circles around him—with his pearly whites and one-fingered waves. Beck couldn’t effectively compete if he only ever spent an hour a day with Heavenly in a crowded cafeteria talking about term papers, diseases, and hospital BS. He needed to take her out—and not on some prissy-assed picnic. No, on an honest-to-god date where they could peel off their professional skins and get to know one another as man and woman.
If that went well, then he’d find out if he could coax her over to the kinky side. In the event that was a no-go… Well, he’d have to ask himself hard questions about how much of his sadistic side he could give up. Honestly, he didn’t know. But no matter what, Beck’s heart—and his cock—were determined to find a way to make it work…and make Heavenly his for good.
Sitting beside Heavenly in the hospital cafeteria hadn’t been smart. They’d only been apart for ten days, but it felt like ten fucking years. All he wanted to do was drop his hand beneath the table—and onto her thigh. And he couldn’t…yet.
Beck had nailed down a plan to introduce her to the man behind the lab coat. He’d fail if he caved to the impatient beast inside him and felt her up at work.
“Have any big plans to celebrate New Year’s Eve tonight?” One thing he did know? She wouldn’t be spending it with Seth.
Thank fuck.
While in Vegas, Beck had called Hammer to wish the throuple a Merry Christmas. Imagine his thrill at learning the girl-poaching PI was back in New York. It had been Beck’s second-best Christmas present. His first was an unexpected seasons greetings text from Heavenly. Her message that she’d been thinking of him had been a thrill, almost as exciting as if she’d asked him to fuck her.
The next morning, he’d left Gloria’s place—halfway through his stay. He’d had grand visions of having her on a date by Friday, in his bed by Saturday, and wearing his collar by Sunday.
Stupid, optimistic fucker.
It was Monday, and he was finally laying eyes on her.
When he’d asked if she wanted to kick off the weekend with him and catch a movie, she’d turned him down because she had to wait tables. Same for dinner Saturday night. Ditto Sunday. Not seeing her frustrated the shit out of him…but it made him more determined to come up with a plan C she couldn’t refuse.
“I’ve always wanted to get dressed up and go to a fancy New Year’s Eve party.” Then she slumped glumly. “But I’m low woman on the totem pole, so I’m waiting tables. Again.”
At a kids’ pizza place on a night of adult revelry? Weren’t the curtain climbers in bed by ten? “I was hoping we might ring in the New Year together.”
“I would have loved that. I’m sorry I’m always working. When they hired me, I asked for all the hours I could get between now and the start of my next semester. I got them.”
Beck swallowed a curse. She was putting herself through college and doing her best. He had to dial back on the impatience—and the horniness. But he was going to lose his shit if he couldn’t persuade her to go out with him soon.
“Understood. But fair warning: I’ll keep asking. I can be a very patient man, given the right motivation.” And you, little girl, are all the motivation I need.
“I don’t mind you asking. I just feel terrible. It shouldn’t be this hard to spend time with a friend.”
You’ll figure out we’re more than friends when I’m filling you with my cock, and your pretty little pussy is clutching me in orgasm.
Beck stifled a growl as he picked up his fork. They ate in tight silence, Heavenly nibbling on her pork chop and casting searching glances his way.
After washing down the last bite, Beck pushed his plate away and changed tactics. “How did you do on your finals?”
Heavenly wrapped her rosy lips around the opening of her water bottle. He tried to ignore the way her throat worked. Impossible. His mind filled with images of her on her knees, mouth wrapped around his cock, big blue eyes staring up at him as his wide crest nudged the back of her throat.
“My tests were much harder than waiting tables, but I did good.”
“I won’t lie and tell you they’ll get easier. But every exam you pass means you’re closer to making sure you don’t spend the rest of your life schlepping food.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” she muttered. “At the end of the night, my feet hurt so bad, despite the new shoes you sent me for Christmas—thank you; they fit perfectly, by the way. But waitressing is a lot of peopling for me.”
Beck fought a smile. “So when you get off work, do you shut yourself in your room?”
“No. The first thing I do is take a long shower so I can be blissfully alone. It’s weird because I love coming to the hospital and helping people who genuinely need care and comfort. But after waiting tables, I ignore the rest of the world until I have to go back.”
“While dreading every moment until your next shift?”
“Oh, so you’ve waited tables, too?”
“No. I guessed, based on your…enthusiasm.” When she giggled, Beck sipped his water. “How was your Christmas?”
“Fine.” She paused. “Quiet.”
“No family?”
“Some, but other than work it was almost too peaceful with you and Seth both gone.”
Beck was still celebrating the fact the asshat wasn’t around to cock-block him.
“When are you going to let me add some excitement to your life?” His words teemed with innuendo.
“When Seth tried that, I didn’t do so good. I barely spent an hour with him, and he just…left.” She pushed her plate away as if she’d suddenly lost her appetite. “I’ll probably never see him again.”
The hair on the back of Beck’s neck stood on end. Had that motherfucker stolen her virginity before jetting back to New York?
Rage, white and hot, surged through him. He locked stares with Heavenly. “Tell me everything he did to you.”
His snarl had her inching back. She opened her mouth to say something, but snapped it shut.
You weren’t supposed to scare her, asshole!
Beck groped for his control. “I warned you Seth was nothing but a bad decision waiting to happen, little girl.”
“You did, but—”
“Did he hurt you?”
Heavenly shot him a quizzical frown. “What do you mean?”
“When he took you to bed.”
Her cheeks turned bright red as she shook her head. “Oh, he didn’t… I mean, we never… That didn’t happen.”
Relief poured through him, so profound he shook. “I’m glad you were too smart to fall for his bullshit.”
“He didn’t feed me any. He didn’t do anything at all, not even kiss me.”
While that overjoyed Beck, Heavenly’s disappointment shredded him like a thousand knives. “Then why are you convinced he’ll never want to see you again?”
“I-I said something I probably shouldn’t have. He was gone before I could explain or tell him I was sorry. I feel terrible that I upset him. I miss the fun we shared.”
Hearing that she actually mourned the prick’s departure felt worse than chewing on glass. Beck had no idea what she’d said to hurt Seth’s fragile little feelings. But the important takeaway was, if she hadn’t, the time Beck had spent sitting on the sidelines with his dick in his hand would have cost him everything.
If Heavenly missed the “fun” she’d had with Seth, he’d do his damndest to show her a better time. In fact, Plan C had just presented itself—and he’d give her the best fucking day of her life. And maybe the best night of his would follow…
“Well, I have some fun in mind. How would you feel about coming with me to the happiest place on earth?”
“I don’t… Where’s that?”
She didn’t know? Oh, he couldn’t wait to see the look on her face.
“One of my patients is a bigwig at Disney. He gave me a couple of passes to Disneyland. What do you say? Want to spend Saturday with me, having fun?”
Like a kid on Christmas morning, her eyes grew huge and excited. “This Saturday? You’re asking me to go?”
“Yeah. Have you ever been?”
“No. Never. Oh, wow! I’ve always wanted to go.” She bit her lip, looking so adorably thrilled. “You’re serious?”
He basked in her delight. “There’s no one I’d rather go with.”
“Then yes!”
“Don’t you have to work?”
“It doesn’t matter. For the chance to go to Disneyland, I’ll call in sick.”
A deep laugh rumbled up from his chest. “So I’m already corrupting you, is that it?”
“Yes. And I’ll happily let you.”
His cock stood up and wept. “Be careful, little girl, I might make that a habit.”
“Would that be such a bad thing?” she ventured in shy flirtation.
Oh, dear god. How long before he could have her naked and panting and begging? It couldn’t come soon enough. “Not at all.”