Five days later, Heavenly was convinced that Kenneth Beckman knew magic. From the moment they drove onto Disney property and he parked his red Mercedes near the entrance, the VIP treatment began. He looped a distinctive colored lanyard around her neck with a smile, then put a matching one around his own. “These are Extra Special Double Secret VIP Golden Fastpasses.”
“That’s a very long name. What do they do?”
“Okay, so I’m making that up. I don’t know what they’re actually called, but these golden cards allow us in the Fastpass lane of any attraction. We can walk past the line anytime we want.”
Her mouth fell open. Coming to Disneyland had been a girlhood dream. But to skip most of the waiting and just experience everything? “Oh, my gosh. Really?”
He gave her an indulgent nod. “Really.”
Heavenly squealed as he led her to their guide, who ushered them through a private park entrance. Soon, they stood in front of the colorful flowers grown onto the hillside in the shape of Mickey Mouse. Kids jumped, parents pushed strollers, and people everywhere took selfies. She drank in the experience, anticipation buzzing in her belly.
Today, she could pretend to be a princess. And the gorgeous man by her side could definitely play her Prince Charming.
“This train”—he pointed to the big red steam locomotive—“circles the park with stops throughout. We can get off or on at any of them. Want to ride it?”
Eventually, yes, but the Disneyland of her imagination came from TV specials, pictures on the Internet, and YouTube videos that always started with one thing. “Can we walk up Main Street first? I’m dying to see it in person.”
“Whatever you want to do. This day is for you, little girl.”
Joy bubbled up. She felt like a shaken bottle of soda pop that might explode at any moment. “I still can’t believe I’m actually here.”
With you.
“I remember feeling blown away during my first visit, too.”
The morning sun was quickly warming into one of those picture-perfect California days as they made their way under the arched bridge, past colorful posters of the park’s most famous attractions, then emerged near City Hall. And she got her first glimpse inside the park.
Heavenly had to gasp; she’d never seen so many people at once. Dr. Beckman didn’t seem at all fazed by the crowd. Everyone from toddlers to great-grandparents looked eager for the adventure ahead.
“Take this park map.” He plucked a pamphlet from the slot beside him and put it in her hands. “You’ll need it. This is a big place.”
Heavenly tucked it into her pocket as he led her past the fire station and the town square. When she rounded the corner at the Emporium and got her first glimpse of the long stretch of Main Street USA, she froze, hardly noticing when someone bumped her from behind.
At the end of the road stood the most magical structure of all: Sleeping Beauty Castle.
“Oh, my gosh. It’s…” The castle of Disney movies. The icon people instantly associated with Disneyland. The place she’d been most longing to see. “Everything.”
“Then we’ll be sure to check it out, but there are lots of other things to see. Did you know”—he drawled, his deep voice caressing the shell of her ear—“Main Street was inspired by Walt Disney’s hometown?”
“The charm is so turn-of-the-century.”
“Want to explore?”
Everything around her looked so quaint and interesting. “Can we go in there?”
When she pointed to the Emporium, he ushered her in that direction, smiling as she oohed at vignettes in the windows depicting scenes from their movies and aahed at cute plush characters.
Slowly, they wound their way along the busy street, moving from store to store, tempted by bright lights, shiny toys, and the scent of fresh popcorn. They ducked into the cinema to watch Steamboat Willie, the first distributed debut of Mickey and Minnie Mouse.
Ten minutes later, she emerged into the sunlight, all smiles. She stepped off the curb to dash through the crowd, lured by the scrumptious smells of sugar and vanilla. Suddenly, a protesting horn startled her. Dr. Beckman wrapped his arm around her middle and yanked her back against him—and out of the path of an oncoming trolley filled with parkgoers.
Heavenly pressed a hand to her chest and dragged in a calming breath.
“Careful,” he whispered against her ear, still holding her tightly.
She gave him a shaky nod…then realized her backside was plastered against his hard abs and muscled thighs.
Her heart began thumping in an all-out gallop that had little to do with fright. Heat rushed over her. Everything in her panties began to ache.
He often had that effect on her. And he was probably thinking she was an idiot for not watching where she was going.
“Sorry. I was looking around and…” she blurted. “Thank you.”
“It’s all right. I’ve got you.”
His low-voiced assurance made her shiver. Her nipples stiffened. Through her T-shirt, they pressed hard against his bare forearm. Was there any way he could fail to notice?
“I’m okay now.” She tried to wriggle free. Of course she’d rather stay in his arms, but he’d soon know she didn’t think of him as a mere friend if she did.
“You sure?”
Heavenly gave him a shaky nod.
“Is that a yes?”
How was it possible he sounded even closer? His voice lower? That he held her even tighter?
“Yes.”
But he still didn’t let go. She glanced over her shoulder at him. His dark eyes pierced her, hooded, narrowed, focused. And she felt his penis swell, thick and as hard as a lead pipe.
A silent gasp parted her lips. Their gazes fused. Then his hips seemed to press and roll against her backside. She hadn’t imagined that, right? Heavenly didn’t think so. And well…she could tell with Dr. Beckman that it wasn’t a small world, after all.
In that moment, he imprinted his body on hers. She answered in kind, turning wet, her breathing unsteady. Awareness flared in his eyes.
He knows I like him.
The urge to babble and cover her embarrassment was too much to resist. She pushed out of his arms. “Gosh, I’ve been here five minutes, and I almost got myself killed.”
Slowly, he stepped back. “I’ll try to keep you alive a bit longer. What would you like to do next?”
Heavenly couldn’t stop thinking about Dr. Beckman as a man. Her stirring desire messed with her ability to talk like a normal human. Had he been hard simply because he was male…or because he wanted her?
She must seem totally unsophisticated to him. She always did bumbling, inept things. And yet, she would have sworn he was looking at her like a grown-up, sexy woman.
A gaggle of children, their voices shrill with excitement, ended the moment. Heavenly watched as they flocked, parents in close pursuit, toward a living, breathing Cinderella, all dressed for the ball. Yes, she knew it wasn’t real, but she could barely muffle her thrilled gasp behind her hand. “Sorry. I don’t mean to get excited.”
“I like it when you do.” His tone was thick.
That delicious tingle of arousal slid through her again. Six little words—and yet Dr. Beckman’s suggestive voice turned her inside out.
“Be yourself,” he clarified. “Not who you have to be at the hospital. I’m going to enjoy experiencing today through your eyes since they’re less cynical than mine.”
“Okay.”
Pleasure and approval suffused his handsome face, along with something that seemed like more than friendship.
Was that wishful thinking? After all, look what had happened with Seth. One minute she’d thought they might get much closer. Then she’d opened her mouth…and ended up alone. Of course, that didn’t stop her from thinking about him. Nothing did. He was like a ghost, out of sight but always haunting her.
Pushing away the thought, she turned her focus back on Dr. Beckman, determined to enjoy today. “So how many times have you been here?”
“Maybe more than a few. I would have sworn I was too jaded to really enjoy it again, but I might change my mind.” He gave her a slow smile. “Tell me what you want to do.”
The castle was still ahead, begging exploration, but… “I’ve always wanted to ride a roller coaster. Can we?”
“You never have?”
“There weren’t many opportunities in Wisconsin. When I was eight, I went with a friend’s family to this place in Wisconsin Dells.” She grinned wryly. “But I was an inch too short to ride.”
“You’ll never lack inches when you’re with me.”
“Huh? Are you laughing at me?”
“I’m not.” He cleared his throat. “Um, you’re tall enough now.”
“I am, so no short jokes. I’m sensitive.”
He grinned. “I’ll bet you are.”
There was something behind that smirk she didn’t quite grasp, but it made her warm all over.
By the time they ambled to the top of Main Street, they reached a hub of sorts. Slowly, she turned in a circle, trying to decide which “land” to conquer first. But her stare was drawn again to that magical castle sharp against the bright blue sky. She remembered being fascinated by videos showing amazing pyrotechnics exploding behind it, in sync with the wistful strains of “When You Wish Upon a Star.”
She grabbed his arm. “Do they really have fireworks?”
“Every night, weather permitting.”
“Wow. I wish we could stay for them.”
“We can stay as long as you’d like, Heavenly.”
She bit her lip. “When do they start?”
“Look on your map. The big show of the night is usually the last thing before the park closes—”
“Oh,” she grumbled in disappointment.
Her father was much too sick to cope all day and half the night without her. Thank goodness one of the fellow vets who volunteered at the VA had agreed to visit him this afternoon. Still, she’d worry, so whenever she went to the bathroom, she’d text him to make sure he was all right. No need to dump her woes on Dr. Beckman.
When she’d told Dad about the trip to Disneyland with a friend, he’d insisted she go. “Have fun on your day off. Lord knows, there has been precious little of that these past miserable years.”
She’d tried to reassure him that she was happy and had everything she could ever need in life.
They both knew it wasn’t true.
“We can watch the fireworks earlier. I think the first show is at nine thirty.” Beck sent her a frown filled with concern. “You okay?”
She snapped back to the present and pasted on a smile. “Let’s see how we feel after being on our feet all day. Now where is that rollercoaster?”
“This way.” He gestured to the right and ushered her toward Tomorrowland, where they soon found Space Mountain. “I’ll be right beside you if you get scared. I’m a doctor, so you can trust me.” He winked.
She burst into a fit of giggles. “Ha! If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t be getting in a little car that jets around on a track too dark to see.”
“It’s fun. I promise.”
“I’m sure, but…I’ve had so many new experiences today, you know?”
He raised a brow at her. “I’m hoping we experience lots of firsts together.”
With one innuendo-laden sentence, he made her flare hot again. Was she reading too much into his words? After all, he’d mentored her, protected her, befriended her. None of that meant he wanted her. Then again, would he have invited her today if he didn’t feel something for her? There was that buttery voice of his, not to mention his erection, too…
Mentally chewing on the possibilities, Heavenly followed him through the shadowy, blue-lit passages inside the building. A surreal techno voice followed them along the path that seemed to get darker with every step. Before she knew it, they were boarding the gleaming silvery-white cars with yellow stripes.
Apprehension bit at her belly as she began to climb in. “I’m so nervous.”
He stayed her with a touch to her arm. “I understand, but don’t forget to look around and get the full experience. Some firsts are worth savoring.”
“You’re right. Sometimes I get caught up and forget everything else.”
So Heavenly stole a long glance around the loading zone, felt the cool air in her face, and soaked in the excitement hanging in the air.
When Dr. Beckman gave her an approving nod, she stepped toward the waiting car—and would have stumbled if he hadn’t been right behind her. Instantly, his hand wrapped around her elbow. “I’ve got you.”
“Sorry. I can be so clumsy.”
“No, I’ve watched you. You’re graceful,” he assured as he helped her settle into the car.
Only then did he release her.
Heavenly sighed. No wonder half the female staff at the hospital were gaga for him. “You’ve always been so sweet to me.”
“You make it easy.”
She wasn’t sure what to say, but park employees distracted her by instructing riders how to fasten the safety belt. Beside her, the doctor made certain she was secured snugly before the ride operators double-checked. Then with a lurch, they were off.
Nerves gnawing a hole in her stomach, Heavenly grabbed Dr. Beckman’s thigh.
“It’s okay.” He settled his hand over hers, tangling their fingers together. “Breathe. Enjoy it. You’re going to have fun.”
“Uh-huh,” she agreed—but she didn’t let go. As they ascended a flashing red tunnel, she turned to him. “In case I forget to tell you later, I really had a great time.”
By the time they emerged into the sunshine, she was still grinning and her throat felt slightly scratchy from screaming. Dr. Beckman squinted, holding a finger to his ear.
“Oh, my goodness. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. Really. I’ve got another ear.”
Rolling her eyes, she swatted him playfully. “I’ll try to restrain myself next time. There will be a next time, right?”
“If you want one, yes. And don’t you restrain anything on my account—ever. That’s my job.” He sent her an ironic grin she didn’t understand.
“You’re sure?”
“Nearly everyone who walks through the front gates leaves their adult self behind and turns into a kid at heart. I won’t even tell you how embarrassing I was on my first visit.”
Her heart did somersaults at his wide grin. “How old were you?”
“Twenty-eight, I think. I even have a pair of ears from that trip embroidered with my name. I wore them all day. Not kidding.”
She laughed. “Did you eat cotton candy and sing Disney songs?”
“I might have. Are you judging?”
“Of course not.” But a giggle slipped free.
“It’s fine. We’ll see how mature you are as the day goes on.”
Heavenly pressed her lips together, fearing she would fail miserably at adulting, but she didn’t care.
The morning passed quickly as they raced each other in the cars at Autopia. Heavenly laughed when she won, then pleaded for a ride on the Matterhorn Bobsleds. She managed to scream less this time, earning her a smile from Dr. Beckman, before she dragged him to Fantasyland for a ride on King Arthur Carousel. She climbed on a white horse with bells, while the doctor stood beside her and held her steady. After riding Snow White’s Scary Adventures and Peter Pan’s Flight, they made their way to Frontierland.
“Hey, Disney Princess. It’s one o’clock. How about some lunch?”
She’d eaten a hearty breakfast at home so she didn’t have to spend money on an expensive theme park meal. “Sure. I’ll keep you company while you eat.”
“Nope. You’re eating, too.”
Before she could argue, he pointed to an empty table. Feeling oddly compelled to do as he instructed, she sat. Ten minutes later, he returned with burgers, fries, and fizzy sodas. She dug in, nearly finishing every bite.
Afterward, she cleared the table. “Thank you, Dr. Beckman.”
“When we’re not at work, call me Beck.”
A smile lit up her whole body since only his friends called him that. “Sure…Beck.”
“Ready for more rides? Or do you need a few minutes to let your food settle?”
She raised a brow at him. “Why? Do you?”
“I might.”
“You look at blood and guts all day but you have a delicate stomach?”
“I do not have a delicate stomach. Just…a more sensitive equilibrium.”
“Maybe I should call you princess.”
“Be careful, little girl.”
“Or?” She raised a brow at him.
“You might find out.”
“I think you’re all bark and no bite.”
His grin told her she was terribly wrong. “You keep thinking that. You’ll find out differently. Now, come with me so I can prove how manly I am by shooting something.”
As they headed toward the shooting gallery, Heavenly couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this happy. But when Beck reached for her hand and tucked it in his own, her euphoria swelled into wide-eyed surprise.
He liked her. As a boy liked a girl. No, as a man liked a woman.
The day couldn’t possibly get more perfect.
She swore she was walking on clouds as they rode the Mark Twain around Tom Sawyer Island, caught Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, then got soaking wet on Splash Mountain. She probably wore him out with the three trips she needed on Haunted Mansion, but it was so clever and full of details. Maybe he didn’t mind too much, because when he slid beside her in their “doom buggy,” he held her close and smiled indulgently.
After that, they stumbled up to Pirates of the Caribbean.
When the ride ended, she was still singing “Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me…” He escorted her to Blue Bayou, which overlooked the ride’s gently lapping waters. They were shown to a table that ringed the perimeter of the swampy darkness, complete with fireflies. It was…romantic.
“What are you hungry for?” He glanced up from the menu, brow raised.
He meant food—maybe—but her heart still skipped a few beats. “I-I don’t need—”
“To eat? Yes, you do. Let me rephrase my question. Is there anything on the menu you’re allergic to or don’t like?”
“I’m not fond of lamb.”
“We’ll avoid that then.”
Beck ordered surf and turf for them both. Heavenly tried not to choke or object. He wouldn’t appreciate it, but it was so expensive… She could feed herself and her father both for weeks on the cost of this one meal.
After delicious gumbo, the waitress delivered filet mignon and lobster with potatoes au gratin, along with a bottle of earthy red wine. Every tasty bite was exquisitely perfect.
“We talk during lunch at the hospital, but there are a lot of things I don’t know about you, Heavenly.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I’m boring.”
His stare chastised her. “I doubt that. Tell me everything…”
What could she tell him without bringing the mood down? “You know I’m from Wisconsin. I grew up loving Rugrats and—”
“What the hell is a rug rat?”
“It’s a cartoon. Well, it was. They don’t make it anymore.”
“I’m sorry?” He looked as if he wasn’t sure whether to apologize or laugh.
“It’s fine. As an adult, I’m no longer entertained by animated shows about kids in diapers.”
He almost choked on his wine. “I’m glad to hear that.”
“Oh, come on. You must have liked a cartoon or two as a kid. Fess up.”
Beck hesitated. “I was far more interested in being outdoors. If there was a ball involved, even better.”
“That sounds so incredibly…male.”
“I’m glad you’ve noticed,” he quipped. “Okay, favorite ice cream.”
“What’s yours?” she countered. “I’m going to make fun of you first.”
That had him laughing. “Raine might have corrupted me lately with her love of caramel caribou.”
“I can’t fault you for that, though I prefer mint chip. When I was a kid, there was this place that used to make it with chunks of Andes Creme de Menthe and…oh. It was”—she snickered—“orgasm in a cone.”
“Really? And you’d know that how?”
She closed her eyes, mortification rolling through her. “Figure of speech.”
“So I have to be better than an ice cream cone?”
Did he mean if he ever gave her an orgasm? “What?”
Beck cleared his throat. “Favorite season?”
“Um…when I lived in Wisconsin, it was summer, for sure. But LA is like summer all year round, so… What about you?”
“Fall.”
“You like crisp leaves and autumn breezes?”
He smirked. “And football. That’s way more important.”
“Of course. Definitely a man.”
“You need me to prove it?”
“You really have to stop teasing me…”
“Who says I’m teasing?” He gave her a disreputable grin.
She rolled her eyes at him. “Favorite band?”
“I’m an old-school grunge guy. Give me Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots…that kind of thing. But I listen to all kinds of music. Who do you like?”
“Maroon 5. Adam Levine—”
“Sings like a girl?”
She swatted his arm across the table. “Is incredibly talented and sexy.”
Beck scoffed. “You think?”
“He has some really amazing ink.”
Beck pulled the sleeve of his shirt over his elbow to reveal something tribal around his bulging bicep. “Like this?”
“You…” Heavenly stared, trying to string her words together. Never in a thousand years had she imagined the good doctor would have tattoos. “I’m surprised.”
“A lot of things about me might surprise you.” That grin of his nearly combusted her. Sly, brimming with knowledge, slightly dirty.
“Like what?”
“I’ve shocked you enough for one day.” He leaned closer, over his forgotten dessert. “But let’s just say my arms aren’t the only place I’m inked.”
She opened her mouth, but the waiter came by with a refill of his coffee.
Beck glanced at his watch. “It’s a little before nine. If we don’t leave this joint, we won’t catch the fireworks.”
After he paid the bill, she followed him through the darkness as they finally explored the castle. She squealed with delight when he bought her a pair of princess mouse ears, embroidered with her name. They made it just in time to slide into a VIP area to view the fireworks near the castle before the first song cued and the first bright bursts of color lit the sky. They stood close, and she was absolutely spellbound as the pyrotechnics show exceeded her wildest dreams.
With her stare riveted to every dazzling explosion across the sky, tears of happiness slid down her cheeks. Beck traced a finger across her face, capturing a stray tear and tasting it. She shivered, suddenly unable to look at anything but him. He said nothing. No words were necessary. Something magical was happening that terrified her yet lured her even closer.
“A-are you going to kiss me?” she finally whispered.
“When we’re alone.” He caressed her face with his warm palm. “But not now. It’s worth waiting and doing right.”
Then the last of the fireworks burst with a sweeping crescendo of music, and the moment passed.
It was time to head home.
Beck took her hand in his again and led her to his car. He wasn’t terribly happy when she asked him to drop her off at the mall where he’d picked her up, but thankfully he didn’t argue.
Today had truly been the best day of her life…so far. If she could believe him, the best might be yet to come.
The following Saturday evening, Beck pulled up to the art gallery, took a deep breath, and headed in to find Heavenly. Their date at Disneyland had been strictly vanilla, but she’d loved every minute—and he’d loved every one of her squeals and smiles.
Now that he knew they were compatible away from the hospital, he was anxious to test their chemistry on a much different level.
Tonight was make or break.
Unfortunately, it hadn’t started well. He’d planned to pick her up, wine and dine her while he asked her questions and dropped hints. Then together, they’d view the show. But she’d insisted on meeting him at the art gallery. Errands or some shit. Her promise to wait for him in the adjacent bar hadn’t eased his gnawing anxiety. If she’d already peeked at the exhibit…he’d have a lot of explaining to do.
Thankfully, he spied her sitting on a stool, as promised, her cascade of golden hair and feminine grace unmistakable. Black strappy sandals adorned her feet, now delicately crossed at the ankle. Visually, he caressed his way up her slender legs, settling long moments later on the sensual curve of her ass, hugged by a classic black sheath.
She was always beautiful, but tonight? Fuck me.
A hundred times Beck had asked himself if he should skip this risky experiment and simply get her alone. A hundred times he’d told himself no. This wasn’t about a quick lay; it would tell him what kind of future he and Heavenly might share. If tonight didn’t go as he hoped… Well, they could still be friends.
Fuck, that sounded horrible.
Easing closer, he stole a clandestine moment to inhale her sultry, hint-of-berry scent and fought the urge to bury his nose in her silky hair. “Why are you sitting alone, little girl? Did some jerk stand you up? Come with me instead. There are things I could show you…”
Heavenly turned, a smirk playing at her lips. “I can’t. I’m waiting for a handsome doctor. If I’m not where he asked me to meet him, I might be in trouble.”
Submissiveness and role play? Hell yes.
He motioned to the bartender to replace her water with a smooth, imported Sauvignon Blanc. Moments later, the man set a slender stem on a fresh napkin directly in front of her.
Beck paid and tried to cool himself with a swallow of beer. “Well, the doctor is one lucky son of a bitch. He’s also an idiot for making you wait. If I had the chance to spend the evening with such a gorgeous little girl, I wouldn’t leave you alone for a second.”
“Oh, he’s not late. I’m a bit early.” Heavenly leaned around him, scanning the room. “I expect him any minute.”
“Well, until he shows, I insist you join me. For your safety.”
“My safety?” She blinked at him.
“We wouldn’t want some lowlife off the street snatching you from that barstool, right?”
“Of course not.”
“Then let me take care of you.” About that, he wasn’t joking.
“All right.” As Heavenly eased to her feet, she plucked a tiny black clutch off the bar, lifted her wineglass, and flashed him a mysterious glance. “I’ve never had a bodyguard before.”
If I had my way, you’d need more than a bodyguard to keep me from stripping you bare and ravishing you in a million wicked ways.
Somehow, Beck managed to simply smile and palm the small of her back. He guided her across the marble floors, where they joined the waiting crowd. Palpable excitement churned the air.
Heavenly clung to his side with an eager smile. She wouldn’t appreciate everything she saw, but he’d watch her, cataloging even her subtlest reactions until he knew how—or if—he should proceed.
“I’ve never been to an art gallery,” she whispered with a nervous hitch.
“Then we’re both in for a special treat.”
“You’ve never been to one, either?”
He shook his head, chuckling softly. “I have, but I’m especially looking forward to tonight’s show. A private buyer loaned his rare collection of Joshua Lars’s sculptures for this exhibit.”
“I’ve never heard of Joshua Lars.”
“He’s amazing. Seeing his work in person will be a real treat. Shame he hasn’t unveiled any new works for years.”
“What does he sculpt?”
“People, mostly women. Tonight’s theme is, um…alternative lifestyle art.”
He didn’t say more; she had to experience the show for herself. And he needed her unvarnished reactions.
“What does that mean?”
Sighing, he pulled her into a secluded corner and cupped her shoulders. “What you see tonight may confuse, shock, or excite you. Any of those reactions is valid. Just…approach everything with an open mind. Give me your opinions. Ask questions. I’ll explain if I can. Will you do that for me?”
“Of course.”
Naturally, she wanted to please, and it was easy to give her assent now. Keeping her promise would be much harder once she got inside.
He guided her back to the entrance and handed over their tickets. Anticipation and disquiet thrummed through his veins as they stepped into the wide space of concrete floors, industrial ceilings, and white walls.
A surgically stacked brunette in form-hugging red latex welcomed them, balancing a tray of champagne flutes on her palm. Black leather cuffs hugged each wrist. A thick collar squeezed her neck with an engraved plate that proclaimed her PROPERTY.
Beside him, Heavenly cocked her head, looking puzzled. Damn, he’d pay money to hear her thoughts. But he couldn’t push her. He had to let her process.
Beck thanked the submissive greeter, who deferentially dipped her gaze before ushering Heavenly farther into the room. Now, everything would get real. His nerves buzzed as the soft chatter around them hummed.
He stepped in front of the first painting, guiding her toward the unframed canvas of a naked woman lying on her side facing forward, hands tied behind her back, head lolling to the ground in tormented anticipation. Ropes framed her breasts and looped around her neck. Her legs were spread and trussed to remain bent, binds encircling thigh and shin.
The piece was stunning. Picturing Heavenly waiting for him in this pose revved his libido hard.
Clearing his throat, Beck studied her as she glimpsed the light-and-shadow masterpiece. The startled blink of her lashes preceded the wide flare of her eyes. An instant later, color rosied her cheeks. Then her lips parted, and her berry-pink tongue flicked against her upper lip. Thoughts clearly raced through her brain as she dragged her gaze toward him, as if reluctant to take her eyes off the erotic piece.
“Wow.”
“Yes. What else?”
“I, um… It’s striking. She’s anatomically correct and really flexible.”
Beck repressed a grin. “How does the painting make you feel?”
She squirmed as she gathered her words. His cock jerked.
“Will this exhibit be all about naked people?”
“Answer my question. Then I’ll answer yours.”
Turning back to the canvas, she stared, a little furrow between her brows. “Helpless. But not in a bad way. She looks at peace. It’s oddly…pretty. Does that make sense?”
Absolutely. And he’d bet Heavenly was at least vaguely aroused and didn’t understand why.
Beck did—and his blood roared. “Of course. Art is not only beautiful, it’s designed to make you feel something, to stir the imagination. It’s a personal journey for whomever views it.”
She nodded absently, still staring at the painting as if trying to understand her reaction. “Now you’ll answer my question?”
She’d soon discover he always kept his word. “Because it’s an exhibit of erotic works that focus primarily on alternative sexual lifestyle, I’m expecting a lot of nudity, yes.”
“Oh. Okay.” Her blush deepened. “Do you, um…think she posed like this for the artist or did he paint her from his imagination?”
Beck slid a finger beneath her chin. “Good question. As lifelike as that is—look at the sweat beading her brow and the quiver of her thighs—I’d guess she posed.”
She gave him a shaky nod, biting her lower lip as she stared again at the piece in fascination, nervously sipping her vino.
So that was a yes to attempting bondage.
Somehow, he managed not to seize her lips and rip off her dress. “Ready to move on?”
She nodded, and together they wandered to the next piece, this one a photograph of a pale woman standing alone against a dark wall, wearing stilettos, a collar—and nothing else. Her limbs were chained at wrists and ankles, stretched wide apart toward the edges of the frame. She’d tossed her head back as her body gave way to her bindings.
Beck turned to find Heavenly studying the photo. He could all but hear her wheels turning. “What’s going on in that gorgeous head, little girl?”
She glanced at him, worrying her lip. “I don’t get it. Why is she wearing a dog collar? And why is she strung up like that? I would think she’s a victim of something terrible, except…”
“Go on. Except what?”
“She seems to like it.”
Of course. She was floating blissfully in subspace. “She’s euphoric.”
“That doesn’t make sense to me. How could she enjoy someone degrading her?”
“Why do you assume someone is degrading her?”
Heavenly was slower to answer this time. “Well, first, someone tied her up and left her.”
“How do you know she doesn’t find pleasure or comfort in being bound?”
“You mean like being tightly swaddled soothes a baby?”
“That’s a good analogy, yes. It may not make sense to us, but to her the chains may provide serenity.”
“Okay, but he left her exposed, almost like…”
“He wanted to stare at her as if she were a work of art?”
Heavenly chewed on her lip, but Beck noticed she didn’t question why a woman would want her lover to enjoy the view of her body.
“Why the dog collar?” she asked instead.
“Why do most owners put a collar on their pet?”
“To decorate them. To signify ownership.”
“Exactly. And in her case, someone who holds her dear understands her desire to be owned, bound, and visually worshipped.” Beck gave her something else to consider. “Sex is no different than any other primal need. Everyone has varying taste. This exhibit is merely an expression of each artist’s individual preference. Do you like this image?”
“It’s unusual.”
“It’s not something most people see every day.”
“Or ever. I-I mean, I’ve never seen anything like this.”
She must not Google much. Beck kept the smartass observation to himself.
“Understood, but art challenges us to consider, maybe even tackle our preconceived notions. Sometimes, it disarms us with unexpected reactions.” He tried to shrug casually. “Some might view this and find themselves repulsed. Others might wish they were in her place.”
She nodded, still mulling as she imbibed more wine. “What do you think?”
“The peace in her posture is beautiful. Tell me what seeing this makes you feel.”
It took her a moment to answer. “I don’t know how I’d feel about being so…on display.”
“Being naked makes you self-conscious?”
She pondered that question with a cock of her head. “I’m not ashamed of my body, but…no one has ever seen me naked.”
Her answer gave him hope. “So you’re apprehensive but not repulsed.”
“Something like that.”
He’d get her damn used to being naked around him, but he’d also assure her she’d never have to be “on display” for anyone else.
She shot him a suspicious frown. “How do you know so much about this stuff?”
Beck had wondered how long it would take her to ask. “Well, as a medical professional, I’ve encountered some interesting things over the years.”
“I want to experience life.” She sighed and shook her head. “I mean really experience it.”
“And you should.”
Together, they moved to the next piece. The oil painting was a close-up of a woman’s profile, lips red, a blurred hint of her arms strung up above her head in the background. Her Dom had attached a clothespin to her wayward tongue.
Beck bit back a chuckle. He’d used this punishment on a few unruly subs.
On his left, Heavenly’s brows slashed down in confusion. “I guess someone really doesn’t want her talking.”
“Clearly, she’s said enough.”
Heavenly wrinkled her nose. “I don’t think I’d like this at all.”
“I doubt that woman does, either.”
“So some people like to be bound but none want to be silenced. If that’s true, why do this?” She gestured to the painting. “It seems like a punishment a parent might have given their child for swearing or lying once upon a time.”
“You’re not far off. Think about it… Sometimes, even adults have to be corrected. Granted, this may seem like an extreme way to get one’s point across, but do you think she’ll forget the lesson anytime soon?”
Heavenly shook her head. “If someone ever did that to me, I’d want a warning that I was saying too much before he felt compelled to hunt up a clothespin.”
Duly noted, little girl. I’ll be more than happy to keep your sexy ass in line.
He reached for her hand, leading her around the freestanding wall to the feature on the other side. Front and center, a bright splash of a photo greeted them—this one of a sub’s freshly whipped ass. Some blows on her hip were deep enough to have drawn blood. A red drop ran down her pale thigh, contrasting artistically with the almost innocent yellow-flowered shirt that brushed the edges of her welts.
Imagining his marks on Heavenly’s untouched ass roused the sadist in Beck and pushed his desire nearly to the edge of his control.
Beside him, she gasped and recoiled, burying her face in his shoulder. “Why would anyone do that to her? It’s savage and cruel.”
How did he explain that this Dom had lined his sub methodically, giving her a beautiful endorphin high while pushing her to her pain threshold?
“Several of the mediums on display depict various aspects of the BDSM lifestyle. Do you know what that is?”
Heavenly shook her head. “I’ve heard the term before but…”
“Bondage, Dominance, submission, masochism. It contains elements of discipline and sadism, among other things.”
She dragged in a breath. “Did you bring me here because you like this stuff?”
He should have known she was too clever not to catch on. “I brought you here to view the art, to open your mind. I find it intriguing.”
“You’re not turned off by…that?” She pointed to the photo.
Right now, whipping was clearly a hard no for her, and that made him want to howl. On the other hand, a good Dom’s job was to push his sub’s limits to help her find her truest submission. Maybe in time…
But maybe not. If he wanted her for his own, he might have to live without wielding a whip.
“I find a unique beauty in it. But remember, I’m a physician, so I know she’ll heal up fine in a few days.”
“But whoever did this to her is abusing her.”
Beck gave a sharp shake of his head. “My understanding of the lifestyle is that the people who practice it do so willingly. She always has the power to say no.”
“Really?” She sounded almost skeptical. Understandable, given her innocence.
When the time was right, he’d provide her a thorough explanation of safe words and boundaries. But for now, Beck let her wander around the next corner. “Ready to see what’s over there?”
“Please.” She finished the last of her liquid courage and set the empty glass on the tray held by a passing waiter.
Since he’d worried she would demand they leave the gallery altogether, her acquiescence filled him with relief. Maybe the wine had done its job.
As he cupped her elbow, he led her into the next open space. It held more photos and paintings, as well as several pedestals displaying bronze statues. Instead of methodically perusing each piece, Heavenly skimmed a discriminating eye over them, showing neither aversion nor excitement.
Finally, one particular photo caught her eye. She strode straight to it, transfixed. When Beck saw the image, he wanted to cheer. He’d brought her here hoping some of the pieces would call to her. One finally had.
A blindfolded woman wearing a black demi-bra, panties, and a garter straddled a chair with her stockinged thighs. Her hands had been tied helplessly behind her back. She listened raptly, head cocked to one side, while her fully dressed Master whispered in her ear.
“Oh…” Her murmur was so soft he almost missed it.
“Do you like it?”
“It’s powerful. Evocative. There’s a sense of…anticipation.”
Fuck yes! Beck’s head filled with all the wicked things he could say to Heavenly once he had her bound for his mercy. Clandestinely, he adjusted his aching fly.
As they continued through the gallery, Heavenly steered clear of the hardcore fetish or masochistic pieces, but works containing bondage almost always made her linger, a soft yearning filling her face.
Winding their way deeper into the exhibit, they found a narrow rectangular board mounted to a door frame with a protruding vertical line of a half-dozen penis sculptures, each in various stages of arousal.
When Heavenly caught sight of the protrusions, she giggled. “Really?”
“Any of those, um…stand out for you?”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re incorrigible. I’m not answering that.”
“C’mon. The limp one at the top is pretty pointless, but this one…” He pointed to the most sizable erection, complete with copious veins raised along the shaft. It resembled the one now throbbing against his zipper. “Have any thoughts on it?”
Heavenly darted a curious gaze at the particular cock and lowered her lashes. “That one looks capable of…whatever.” She glanced into the next room. “So what’s over there?”
Holding in a laugh at her abrupt change of subject, he followed her as she moved to investigate a particular bronze sculpture illuminated by a spotlight in an otherwise shadowy room. A naked woman lay across a pedestal with her dangling legs spread wide, breasts thrust up in ecstasy. She cupped one, thumbing the nipple, as a man gripped her hips and knelt between her thighs, burying his face in between.
Heavenly froze, stared, lips parted, not breathing for long moments. Finally, she let out a shuddering breath. The musky scent of her arousal rose in the air.
Saliva pooled in Beck’s mouth. He closed his eyes to savor her for a guilty moment. Then he bit back the promise that he’d eat her pretty pussy until she came hard and often. It would be so easy to whisper that against her ear and let the chips fall…
But he said nothing. Not in public, not before he’d had time to analyze tonight’s findings. Not until he was certain they could be as compatible in bed as the date at Disney had convinced him they were out of it.
Another shiver rippled through her. His blood pumped hotter and harder, further testing his control. His brain burned with images of tumbling her into his bed, sliding his tongue up her thighs, and teasing every slick fold. Then he’d suckle her swollen nub for the sheer pleasure of hearing her keen his name just before he latched his mouth over her untouched pussy and drank in all her hot virgin cream.
Beck opened his mouth to break the tension between them—no idea what to say since his hunger to claim this girl was quickly approaching desperate. Instead, Heavenly’s stare remained riveted on the statue and she let out a soft, wistful sigh.
Tamping down another frustrated growl, he glanced around the room for a distraction—and found Pike standing in the doorway. The cocky, tattooed DM from Shadows wore a mocking grin as he all but undressed Heavenly with his stare.
Beck’s temper flared. Rolling his shoulders back, he curled his hands into fists, drew in a deep breath, and shot the prick a glare. Pike merely smirked, gave him a mocking salute, then strolled away.
“Who was that?” Heavenly asked. “He looks familiar.”
He couldn’t out Pike—or himself. “Nobody you want to know. You want to talk about that?”
When he gestured to the bronze couple, she shook her head, a rosy flush still hueing her cheeks. “Let’s move on.”
He fisted his shaking hands as they ambled into an adjoining, well-lit room filled with Joshua Lars’s stunning collection of statues.
They both stood silently awed at the elaborate detail and lifelike expressions of each piece. The snow-white sculpture of a sub kneeling on a pillow, bound in ropes, and wearing a bright red blindfold especially captured Heavenly’s interest. Her breathing fell shallow. From this angle, he noticed her nipples draw tight as she fidgeted restlessly.
Beck almost lost his composure and restraint.
Her reaction was much the same when she spied a sculpture depicting a sub lying across an ornately set dinner table, arms bound above her head as if she was the meal. Above her, someone dripped fresh drops of red wax across her breasts.
To the right of that piece, they found a two-toned statue of a sun-kissed man behind a pale woman who bent forward on her knees, arms bound behind her back. He clutched her hips, thumbs sinking into her round ass as he buried himself balls deep inside her, head forever tossed back in ecstasy.
The kitten-soft moan that slid past Heavenly’s lips almost undid Beck. Somehow, he managed not to reach for her, but sweat beaded his brow as the fantasy of taking Heavenly the same way spooled through his head. He’d barely absorbed the fact that she seemed all too open to being dominated and fucked when she tore her gaze to the right and stared slack-jawed at another piece hanging on the wall.
The stark black-and-white photo held a gut-punch far more visceral than any image he’d seen all night.
A naked woman stood against a post, hands tied above her head. Behind her, a fully dressed man reached around her body. The fingers of one hand sank into her breast. The palm of the other silenced her by pressing tightly against her mouth. A startled mixture of pain, fear, and ecstasy filled the woman’s eyes.
The image screamed that she was helpless at her Master’s mercy.
Beck scrutinized Heavenly’s slightly dilated pupils. She seemed transfixed, the pulse point at her neck thrumming wildly.
“Will he hurt her?” she asked softly.
“He might, temporarily. Do you think she’s afraid?”
“No. Her body is…almost relaxed. She wants this.”
For him to play rough. To surprise, startle, and maybe even scare her. “Very observant, little girl. Everything they’ll do is consensual.” He mulled his next move and took a calculated risk. “You like this one.”
“I-it’s intriguing.”
She whispered the words as if afraid of her own desires. All the while, her nipples pebbled even more, jutting beneath the fabric of her dark dress as her chest rose and fell raggedly. The pungent scent of her arousal strengthened, nearly knocking him to his knees.
Heavenly had wicked fantasies of being taken and used and made to perform at a Dominant’s command.
Jesus, they needed to skip the fucking dessert he’d planned so he could take her home, tie her up in pretty shibari knots, and awaken this innocent virgin.
But it was far too soon. None of what he wanted from her—and what she seemingly wanted from a man—would work without trust. He had to know how much she would extend to him before they went any further.
As they left the gallery and walked to his car, Beck held her close to his side. “What did you think of your first art exhibit?”
“It was…amazing. And surprisingly educational,” she said with a laugh. “Some of the pieces icked me out, but most were…I don’t know. Sensual. Intense. Provocative.”
I’d love the chance to make you feel all of that under me, little girl.
The invitation burned the tip of his tongue as he held the car door open. She slid in, lowering her lashes shyly.
Wishing the January night were cold enough to soften his erection, Beck jogged around the vehicle and hopped behind the wheel. “Where would you like to go next? There’s a great bistro that serves a mean crème brûlée down the street. We could—”
“I’d love to, but I need to get back to the hospital by ten.”
“Why?”
“A classmate who volunteers every other weekend promised to meet me so she could return one of my textbooks. I need it for class on Monday.”
“Okay. We can head over there now, then decide if you want to go someplace else or—”
“Actually, she’s going to give me a ride home. We live pretty close.” A painful smile tugged her lips. “I hope you don’t mind.”
He stifled his disappointment. “If that’s what you need…”
It hadn’t escaped him that on both of their dates, she’d refused to let him pick her up or take her home.
“I really had a great time tonight.” She brushed warm fingers across his forearm. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“No need to thank me. I like being with you.” That was true, and if he was only going to have her for another few minutes, he needed to bank his surly mood and enjoy her. He threaded his fingers through hers. “Now that you’ve experienced Disneyland and your first art gallery, I have another adventure I’d like to share with you.”
Sex. Lots and lots of sex!
Beck shoved a ball gag in his pubescent subconscious.
“Adventure?”
He nodded. “You game next weekend? Or do you have to work?”
She smiled shyly. “I’m off Saturday.”
“Excellent.”
Scoring a third date filled him with hope…not enough to bank his frustration at having their time together cut short. But on their next date, he’d find out exactly how much she trusted him and start building from there.
And if Heavenly put herself in his care? Oh, he’d make her his a hundred times over.
Beck pulled into the familiar circle drive in front of the hospital and killed the engine. “I’ll walk you up.”
“Thank you.”
Beck took her hand. At this point, he didn’t give a fuck if everyone saw their public display. When they reached the door, he drew her to face him. “I had a wonderful time with you, Heavenly.”
“I enjoyed tonight.”
He felt her warm breath close to his lips and gripped her tighter. The inviting bow of her mouth was just under his. She nestled closer to him, her eyes big and blue and filled with invitation. Fuck it, he wasn’t waiting another second to taste her.
As he took her face in his hands and leaned in, the door beside him slid open.
“Well, isn’t this the coziest little picture?” Kathryn drawled. “What happened to your rule about dating co-workers, Dr. Beckman?”
Heavenly blanched and jerked back. Beck cursed the bitch for interrupting. And when Heavenly scrambled away, wrapping her arms around her middle, he cursed Kathryn again for making his little girl self-conscious.
Sliding her behind him, he turned to the interloping shrew. “The rule only applied to you. Next time, take a hint.”
With a pinched mouth and a vengeful glare, she stomped away. Beck refused to waste another moment on her. He turned his attention back to Heavenly.
“What was that abo—”
He pressed his fingers to her lips. Damn it, he should have been kissing them instead. “Nothing important. If, for any reason, your classmate can’t give you a ride home, call me.”
At his commanding tone, Heavenly’s eyes widened. A tremor shook her as he reluctantly lifted his finger from her mouth. She licked her lips and darted a self-conscious glance around as other employees filed out the door.
“I will.”
Well aware of their audience, he sent her a tender smile. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Good night, Beck.”
He kissed her forehead softly. “Good night, little girl.”
It was a quick drive home, one he wished he didn’t have to make alone. The more time he spent with Heavenly, the stronger his attraction to her grew.
After parking in his garage, he strolled through the kitchen, tossed his keys, and climbed the stairs to his bedroom. He peeled off his clothes, flopped into bed, and stared at the ceiling. His date with Heavenly flooded his brain. And his cock stirred, as it did every time he thought of her. But now he knew the heady scent of her arousal—and he’d fantasize about it. Obsess over it. Though he was miles away from her, it still lingered in his nostrils, permeating his senses and engorging his cock.
The night had also given Beck hope. The images at the gallery had touched Heavenly on a deeper level than he’d imagined. Beneath her surface lay a sleeping submissive; of that he had no doubt. Thankfully, he knew how to awaken her. He’d have to go slow, of course. But the idea of corrupting her innocent soul with his wicked urges…
Groaning, he wrapped a fist around his shaft and slowly stroked the all-too-familiar ache, imagining how good it would feel to have her on her knees before him as he gripped her pale curls in his big hands and slid his cock in and out of her slick mouth. In his imagination, she’d stare at him with big eyes filled with the longing to please.
Fuck.
Thinking of her draped over his lap while he spanked her sweet backside didn’t cool his libido any, especially when he thought about squeezing the supple orbs and feeling the warm sting of her flesh heating his palm.
Now fisting himself faster, he imagined the heat pouring from between her legs as he worked his fingers deep inside her dripping, clutching core before teasing her clit until she spilled onto his pants, breathless, writhing, and clutching at him as if she sought a savior. He’d only fill her with more lust and sin.
Sweat beaded Beck’s forehead as he continued to punish his cock. The image of Heavenly tied and spread across his bed, all lovely and helpless, ramped him up even more. She’d be drenched and puddling on his sheets as he whispered every dirty thing he intended to do to her before he proceeded to part her pretty pink folds with his thumbs and feast on her cunt without mercy. Then, when he’d explored her every curve and crevice, when she was begging him to fuck her, he’d finally align his fat crest to her tiny, innocent opening.
His balls were churning, his cock a rod of blazing fire as Beck continued to stroke his fist up and down in a hard, jerky rhythm. His limbs grew numb, and he squeezed his eyes closed, picturing himself hovering over Heavenly.
“Do you want me to fuck you, little girl? Make you mine?”
“Please!” Her voice would ring with desperation while she stared up at him, eyes brimming with trust as he aligned his crest with her untouched center and his cock nudged her virgin barrier. He’d slide a hand between them and stroke her clit, prepare her as well as he could, all while damning himself for ruining her simply because he couldn’t stop himself any longer.
An instant later, he imagined baring his teeth, pressing his lips to hers, and swallowing her cries…and shredding her innocence as he claimed Heavenly for himself.
Every muscle in his body tensed. His hand was a blur now as he pounded his flesh. Tingles burned up his shaft. His balls drew up tight. Then, with a feral roar, thick ropes of semen splattered his chest and belly as he pumped and growled to oblivion.
Slowly riding his orgasm back down, Beck gasped in ragged breaths and continued to milk himself dry. Once he’d stopped, he opened his eyes. Disappointment dashed any hint of satisfaction.
He was alone. No Heavenly to hold against him. To touch, to command, to cherish. Just him—and his fist.
With a curse, he grabbed his shirt and mopped up, then jackknifed to his feet. Jesus, soon he hoped he could stop jacking off like a kid, earn her trust, and finally be her man.
“Then, little girl, I will drink in every one of your whimpers and cries…”
Six o’clock came way too early for Heavenly, who’d waitressed until two a.m. But across their little studio apartment, she heard her father stirring. He’d need a trip to the bathroom soon, then breakfast so he could take his morning medicine. She’d have to settle him comfortably so she could study for her first exam of the semester, which had to be completed online by noon. Then hopefully, she could sneak in a nap before Beck took her on another date—for the third Saturday in a row.
He liked her. He was going to kiss her; he’d promised. And the art exhibit he’d taken her to had opened her eyes to both a whole new world and a whole new side of the man who fascinated her. Fantasies of him tying her down so he could admire her, blindfolding her to whisper in her ear, tasting between her legs, or taking her from behind—just like the images from the gallery—had been running unchecked through her head for days. She’d worked herself into a hot frenzy a few times late at night. Orgasm was still elusive…but getting closer. The thought he might finally be the man to give her one put a smile on her face.
Once or twice, she’d imagined Seth doing such things to her, too. Foolish, wishful thinking. The man was gone. But that didn’t stop her from wanting him, from getting so intoxicatingly aroused by the thought of him…
“Boo?” her father croaked from his bed, barely audible over the rustling of sheets.
“Coming, Dad.” Biting back a groan, she rolled out of bed.
When she stood, the sound slipped out. Crap, her feet still hurt from last night’s double shift at Bazookas. At least the tips had been good. Unfortunately, the customers had been extra handsy. They were mostly rich frat boys and single young suits, all looking for an easy lay. She was getting better at smiling and flirting and making them feel important while keeping her distance. Best of all, she should have a little money left after paying the rent if she remained careful with other expenses. That meant no indulgences, like the kind Seth had bought her that terrible day at the grocery store.
But if he’d given her a choice between scrumptious food and him…she would definitely have chosen Seth.
Instead, she’d opened her mouth, been too honest, and chased him away. Raine said he’d gone back to New York that same night. Heavenly was saddened more than surprised.
Her apology text to him had garnered a minimal reply, a politer version of whatever. It stung, but worse, she felt somehow incomplete without his charm, his easy manner, his way of making her feel like a woman. Maybe, like he’d said, it was for the best. But it didn’t feel that way, even after weeks had passed. Even though she loved spending time with Beck.
That confused her, too.
Her father’s low moan of pain snapped her out of her reverie. She knew his sounds, and this wasn’t his usual morning, full-bladder moan. Something was wrong.
She dashed across the room, flipping on the kitchen light, which illuminated the apartment, then took her father’s shaky outstretched hand. “Where does it hurt?”
“My stomach. My head. It’s hard to move my legs. And I’m having trouble breathing,” he wheezed.
Her heart nearly stopped. “Do you want your breakfast and your pills? Or do we need to go to the hospital?”
“No. No… Give me my morning pills. I’m sure they’ll help.”
Maybe, but she wasn’t convinced. “I’ll get your walker and help you to the bathroom, then get your food going. You dizzy?”
He nodded, and as she sat him up, he wobbled. “A little.”
Dread hit her. Was he having another relapse? Please, no. She feared his frail system couldn’t withstand that and she was nowhere near ready to lose him. Forty-six was way too young to die.
But is he really living now?
She shoved the awful question from her head, then hustled to his walker and helped him to his feet. The trip to the bathroom was a mere six feet—and an excruciating five minutes. When she finally got him inside and turned on the light, she helped him to the toilet, turning her head as he pushed his pajama shirt aside and settled on the commode.
“Goddamn it, I hate this for you, Heavenly,” he croaked out. “I’m sorry.”
How could he worry about her at a time like this? “Don’t apologize. I hate this for you way more. Tell me what I can get you. I brought home the paper someone left behind last night.”
“That would be good.” As she dashed off to find it, he called after her. “I don’t like you working at that hospital until the middle of the night.”
He’d like her working at the smoky bar in a skimpy crop top and a short skirt even less, so she spared him that detail. “I’m only doing it twice a week now that school is back in session. The money is too good to pass up.”
As she entered the bathroom again, he was shaking his head. “Be careful out there, sweetheart. I worry about you on the bus so late at night.”
She handed him the paper, trying not to show him that her heart was breaking. Just a few months ago, he’d been able to help himself to the bathroom most days. Now it was rare he could reach the toilet without her assistance.
“I’m a big girl. Did you manage a bowel movement yesterday?”
He closed his eyes. “We shouldn’t have to talk about this.”
“Well, we do. Your condition and the pain meds together constipate you, I know. You need to be honest with me and—”
“No. I didn’t.”
She pursed her lips together. “When was the last—”
“Three days ago.”
“Dad!”
“I’ll work on it. Maybe…get me one of those laxatives with my breakfast.”
The over-the-counter meds didn’t do much, but she had to try. If she could stabilize him, maybe he wouldn’t need a visit to the hospital…
“I’ll head to the kitchen and get everything ready.” She bustled over to the table beside his bed, then grabbed his phone, setting it on the counter beside him. “Text me when you’re done.”
He looked humiliated and frail and ready to give up. “Yeah. Go.”
With a fretful sigh, Heavenly ducked out, shutting the door behind her. She needed to pee, but that was the least of her problems now. Absently, she collected his pills and started peeling his hard-boiled eggs, all the while gnawing her lip.
If he had to go to the hospital, it would eat up every bit of her extra funds. And how would she get him there? If she had to pay for an ambulance, it might bankrupt her. The volunteer who had sat with him when she’d gone to Disneyland was out of town. Beck? No. She wasn’t his responsibility, and she didn’t want his pity. Heavenly thought of calling Raine. But the woman was pregnant and still dealing with the trauma of her father’s attack. During their last conversion, she’d sounded down and admitted that Hammer wasn’t dealing with the situation well. The last thing her friend needed was more problems.
She was boiling water for some oatmeal when she heard a groan and an ominous thud from the bathroom. “Dad?”
No answer.
After shoving the measuring cup and cardboard canister on the counter, she turned off the stove and raced to the closed door. “Dad? Are you okay?”
Still nothing.
Dread biting her composure, she gripped the knob. Her fingers shook as she cracked the door open. The creaking hinges shredded her nerves, but she didn’t want to violate his privacy or dignity any more than she had to.
When she poked her head in, she found him sprawled out across the floor. “Dad!”
Shaking him frantically elicited a low groan. “Boo.”
He was barely conscious.
“What happened?”
“Dizzy.” His body twitched, and he gave a pained moan. “Fell.”
His blood pressure must be way off. His pain was becoming unmanageable. Her father hated to admit these things, but she knew the signs.
“We need to go to the hospital.”
“No.” He shook his head weakly. “Help me to bed. I’ll be fine.”
How did he expect her to do that? She was young and healthy, but he still outweighed her. And he was practically dead weight right now.
“I’m going to need help, Dad.”
“Sure. I can—” Suddenly, he doubled over, clutched his stomach, and let out a terrible wail.
Heavenly felt utterly useless. “I’ll get help.” She had no idea from where. “I’ll get you to the hospital.”
He couldn’t even answer; he was writhing on the floor, too caught up in agony.
Panicked, she rushed into the main room and rifled through the plastic chest that contained the few clothes she owned. When she flung open one of the drawers, her mom’s old sewing machine, which she’d propped on top, nearly wobbled over. After steadying it, she dragged on a pair of yoga pants, an oversized T-shirt, and some sandals. She shoved her bra in her purse and set it on the sofa beside the door. She’d slip it on as soon as she delivered her dad into safe hands. Then she let herself outside, shivering at the predawn chill, as she scanned her neighbors’ windows. She didn’t know any of these people, but maybe one of them would feel sorry enough for her dad to help them…
The only light on belonged to their landlord, Mr. Sanchez. He was at least ten years her senior and the way he looked at her made her vaguely uncomfortable. But none of that mattered now. He had a car.
Dashing through the dark morning, she crossed the courtyard and began to pound on his door. “Help! Please…”
A long minute later, he wrenched it open with a disgruntled scowl…that he quickly righted when he caught sight of her.
They weren’t particularly friendly. She’d only seen him a few times since they moved in, but if he was willing to help right now, she didn’t care.
“Hi, Mr. Sanchez. I’m sorry to—”
“What is it?”
“I need to borrow your car or ask if you could drive my father and me to the hospital.”
“I just made coffee.”
“I’m sorry. I know it’s early. But it’s an emergency and—”
“All right.” He sighed. “I’ll take you.”
“Thank you.” She grabbed the man’s arm in a thankful gesture.
He sidled closer. His eyes turned dark. His stare dipped and lingered. “I’m happy to help you. Let me pull the car around.”
“Actually, I need help lifting him off the floor. Can you…”
He set his coffee on a table near the door. “Show me where he is.”
With a bobbing nod of relief, she rushed back across the courtyard, making a vague mental note to grab a coat to protect her from the stiff wind. Suddenly, she realized the cold had hardened her nipples.
Normally, she would have been embarrassed. She had been at the art gallery. Beck had been too polite to stare…but she had a feeling he’d noticed. Seth, on the other hand, would probably have given her a knowing smile, maybe “accidentally” brushed his hand against them. He seemed like the sort of guy who would seek forgiveness way before he asked for permission.
Not that it mattered now. Nothing did except her dad.
As she reached the door to her apartment, she flung it open. “Dad!”
Please be alive. Please be conscious. Please hold on.
“Here,” he managed to choke.
She turned to find Mr. Sanchez behind her, his stare raking her. Was he really staring at her butt at a time like this?
“Follow me.” She directed him to the bathroom.
Her landlord wasn’t a terribly tall guy, but he was bulky, maybe had even been brawny once. He’d still have a much better chance of getting her dad off the floor and into his car.
Mr. Sanchez recoiled. “Ugh. You didn’t tell me he’d be half-naked. Don’t you have any pants, old man?”
“He was worried about relieving himself, not going to a fashion show,” she snapped.
The guy flipped her a surprised glance. “Uh, yeah. Okay. Where am I taking him?”
“The VA.”
Her landlord didn’t look thrilled but he lifted her dad to his feet and propped him up with the walker while Heavenly fetched him a robe and slippers. It would cover the essentials.
Within a few minutes, she helped her father to the curb. Mr. Sanchez waited inside, revving the engine, until she eased her father into the front seat and folded up his walker. As soon as she chucked it into the backseat and climbed in behind her dad, her landlord sped off.
They reached the hospital blessedly fast since rush hour was still relatively thin. They took him back surprisingly quickly. As soon as Heavenly filled out a few forms and talked to one of the nurses, she had nothing to do but wait. She found the bathroom, finally relieved herself, put on her bra, then went to find Mr. Sanchez.
In the waiting area, he lounged out, ankles crossed and hand clasped over his bloated belly, staring at the morning news he couldn’t hear because the sound had been muted in favor of closed captioning. He looked up when she entered, stare intent.
They were alone.
Heavenly sank gingerly to the chair beside him. He made her more than a little nervous. “Thank you for bringing us here. You don’t have to wait around. It will be hours before—”
“What’s he got?”
“A rare autoimmune disease.” She didn’t go into details. He already seemed bored by the short answer.
“Huh.” He shrugged. “So that’s why he doesn’t work and you do?”
She nodded, though she didn’t see why he cared as long as she paid the rent. “Yes. Look, I’m sorry to have disturbed you so early in the morning. But I really, really appreciate your help. I’m so grateful.”
He sat up, leaned across the thin wooden arm separating their chairs, and raised a brow. “How grateful?”
Heavenly shrank back, putting some distance between them. She knew where this conversation was going. “More than you know. And I can give you fifty dollars for your trouble.”
It almost killed her to part with what little reserve she’d tucked away in the sofa cushion back home after last night’s shifts. But it was damn cheaper than an ambulance. She prayed Mr. Sanchez took it.
“Fifty bucks?” He scoffed. “Keep it. If it will help you, chica…”
“That’s generous. Thank you again.” Maybe she’d figure out how to get a taxi back home. Every warning instinct she possessed told her to steer clear of this man.
“I can be very generous.” He edged closer, skimming his knuckles across her cheek.
She shuddered. It wasn’t the first time a man had touched her face—Beck and Seth both had—but it was the first time she’d been afraid.
“Mr. Sanchez…” With her back already plastered to the chair that was flush with the wall, she really didn’t have anywhere to escape except to her feet.
When she would have leapt up, he grabbed her shoulder and held her down. “Extremely generous, in fact. You ever have trouble paying the rent? I can let it slide for a month or two.” He grinned.
“Really?” Was he kidding? That would be a godsend. “You’d do that?”
“Absolutely, chica. For you, yes. All you have to do is swing by and spend some…quality time with me.”
Heavenly narrowed her eyes. Was she understanding him correctly? “Doing what?”
He gave her an ambivalent shrug she didn’t believe for a second. “You know… You’re a pretty thing. You’d look fine in my bed.”
“I’m a virgin,” she blurted, shaking her head.
His smile widened. “Even better. It’s been a few years since I’ve had a cherry pie, and I’ll bet I’ve never had one as sweet as yours.”
She gasped and recoiled, mentally berating herself for thinking this man might have the decency to respect her innocence. “I, um…have a boyfriend.”
It wasn’t totally untrue. She hoped.
“Then he’s either gay or blind, because if you’re a virgin, he’s not getting the job done. I will, chica. I’ll get you done good.” He moaned and flexed his hips, sending her what he must think was a smoldering stare.
She nearly choked.
Never. Ever. She’d live on the streets before she let this man touch her.
You might, but what about Dad?
She shoved down the question. “Well, as it happens, I have the rent money early this month so…thanks very much for the offer. I’m going to go check on my father.” She dodged his next attempt to grab her and stood. “We appreciate the ride. I’ll find us a way home. Bye.”
As she charged for the exit, she nearly hit the door face first in her haste to escape. On the other side, she dragged in a calming breath and pressed a shaking hand to her chest. She wasn’t sure what was wrong with her dad, how she was going to get home, or how she’d continue to make rent every month with their bank balance running lower and lower. She’d have to skip the fall semester of school. Work more, save more, then maybe go back the following spring. She hated to keep putting off her future, but he was her father. She’d always been able to count on him. He needed to be able to count on her now.
“Ms. Young?”
She snapped around to find a familiar doctor coming her way, a resident who’d assisted Dad’s neurologist before. “Yes.”
“Come this way. You father is asking to see you.”
“How is he? What’s going on with him? What can you tell me?”
He took her elbow. Regret crossed his face before he even opened his mouth. “He’s had a relapse. I’m afraid it’s not good.”
Eight hours later, he was stable enough to come home with her. Heavenly suspected that was mostly because they didn’t want to waste a bed on someone who would never get well. The nursing staff wheeled him to the hospital door. She clutched new prescriptions in her hand she feared would cost a fortune. Then slowly, they walked to the bus. She knew it took all his energy and hoped he could muster a bit more when they reached the closest stop to home. If not, she didn’t know what she’d do.
“The landlord couldn’t bring us home?” he asked, looking pale and spent.
Guilt assailed Heavenly. He should be resting in bed, and she was making him walk. But even if she chose to use her small cash reserve on a taxi, the money did her no good when it was at home.
“He was busy this afternoon. I’ll make macaroni and cheese tonight to make it up to you.”
“Don’t you have someplace to be with that friend from the hospital? What’s his name?”
“Dr. Beckman.” She shook her head. “He had to cancel. Emergency.”
More like the other way around, since she’d texted him an hour before they’d been due to meet and told him that the old man in her apartment building needed her help and she was so sorry to bail. Beck had sounded supportive, if disappointed. But if she admitted any of that to her father, he’d only feel worse.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
She shrugged. “I have an exam to finish.” Thank goodness she’d emailed her instructor, who had been both empathetic and accommodating. She had until Monday to take the test now. “Besides, I’d always rather spend the evening with you.”
For the first time in her life, that wasn’t true. She itched to be with Beck, anticipated seeing him like a kid looking forward to a favorite movie. And if she were honest, she craved the chance to see Seth again, at least long enough to explain what she’d meant that fateful day. Since neither of those things were going to happen, she pasted on a smile, patted her father’s hand as the bus lumbered its way closer to their stop, and held in her tears.